Why is my 3 year old so angry/defiant?

Rachel - posted on 11/14/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My June 2008 baby has lately become incredibly clingy and extremely defiant. He is making leaps and bounds in milestones, but his behavior is driving me slowly insane and it's hard to enjoy the good moments. He doesn't have tantrums, but he YELLS as loud as he can, he growls and shakes his fists in anger. Is this a normal thing for boys this age? I have a daughter who is six as well, but she was so calm and mild. Any tips? Are boys just meaner than girls? LOL

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Stacey - posted on 09/04/2012

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hi there i myself have a very angry 3 year old little boy at times he can be uncontrolable its like talking to a brickwall he doesnt listen or react well to disapline infact it makes him worse !he hurts his older brother and sisters in that way i mean he bites kicks slaps punches throws things at them (household objects ) he swears he also hurts my cat by picking her up and throwing her ! he has headbutt me and his dad pinched us and done this while we were alseep !!!! he wrecks my house on a daily basis rips things up throws them on floor he has broke his bedroom door by running at it , he takes food out my fridge cuboards without asking if you try and take it off him he flips hes bangs his head on walls the floor my sofas my coffee table anything really he hits himself in the face put it this way he bruises himself and one time cut his own head with how bad these tantrums can be he really dont care about hurting hiself he doesnt cry when he headbutts or hits himself either . we have tried so many different ways of calming him down and disapline we have had to pin him down at times for his own safety and others i first noticed this beahviour when he was around 10 months old its got worse and i am really afraid for how it will be when hes older ...... so i know what your going through any advice would be great

Jane - posted on 11/14/2011

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My son was a very angry three-year-old also. He turned out to be ADHD, ODD (Oppositional-Defiant Disorder) and Bipolar, but we couldn't really test for all that until he was a couple of years older. He has some brain damage from a hard birth that is apparently the cause. He will have to take psychoactive medications for the rest of his life.

Boys aren't necessarily meaner than girls. They tend to be rougher, but not necessarily angrier. You might consider some counseling to help you cope with him and find a way to get him to behave better. If it should be more than just a phase the counselor would be able to advise you and point you toward getting additional help.

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Lynnise Kathleen - posted on 07/15/2015

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Wow my three year old and your three year old need to get together lol My three year old acts exactly the same, everything you just said. He is so smart too and has his sweet moments but he retains everything, so anything he hears he repeats. Repeats with swearing, when he sees twerking, when I discipline him, he tells me, "No mommy you go time out." LOL He was such a sweet baby too, this attitude stared around two. He hits his six year old brother and complains that my four month old hits him and needs to go to time out. He drives me nuts but I don't let him know it! His doctor says he's completely normal. Altogether we have five boys and they have all gone through this dominant defiant stage. I think it's normal, boys are wild, completely different from little girls. I put my three year old in his room by himself with a swat on the button and let him scream it out. He comes out when he's done and apologizes. I notice that all he wants is mommy time and it's hard to distribute with five boys but I ration it out and he's starting to learn I can only entertain and play with him for a little bit. When he has his melt downs in public I take him right to the truck and strap him in his seat and go home. He knows to keep his cool, I guess my mind state is to keep calm, chive on lol Two can play at this game (: I hope he gets better because it is very stressful day in and out when you are constantly having to discipline him over his wacky demeanor lol My son is just like that, it's crazy but also helpful to find mothers with kids with the same behavior!

User - posted on 08/23/2014

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what type Doctor diagnoses all those conditions? and how did they diagnose brain damage? thank you for any help as my 3 yr old grandson seems very angry when he doesn't get his way and carries the crying and throwing things way beyond normal.

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