Anyone having trouble deciding to have another child?

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

I'm having trouble on deciding if I really want another child. I feel very accomplished since I have gotten to where we are now that I don't know if I really want to start all over again. My boyfriend is an only child and I was until age 12. I think that being an only child has a huge advantage of being the center of attention and no competition with another brother/sister. The disadvantage is that she has nobody if something was to happen to Bill and I. I'm so undecided. Please give me some advice if you are having the same trouble or if you have more than one child. Thanks!

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Amanda - posted on 03/13/2010

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I know I want more children. Before my daughter was born I always thought I wanted 4 kids. I am an only child and I think that may be why I wanted a bigger family. I would have loved to have an older or even younger sibling, just somebody to be around on a daily basis other than my parents, someone to play with and have the special bond with. Anyways my bf is 1 of 4 boys, thier ages are 31, 28, 22, 19. As much as my boyfriend loved having 3 brothers he said he only wants 2 kids, maybe 3..but thats a BIG maybe. Anyways ideally I'd love for our kids to be no more than 2yrs apart...BUT due to financial issues, me going back to school and our house only being 2 small bedrooms, we know we can't have another baby for at least 3-5yrs. At first I was a little upset over this, but I'm starting to grow to that idea and know it will be best for all of us if we wait until we are more financially stable. We are going great with out daughter now, and I wouldn't want to put the extra stress of another baby on all of us right now. With that said though, I cant not wait until we start trying for #2, I miss being pregnant soooo much:)

[deleted account]

What will you think in 10 years? Will you be happy being where you are with one child? Or will you feel as though something is missing? I myself know I want more children. I have a younger brother who is practically one of my best friends and I cannot imagine my son not having someone else who is close (my step son is 7) to him in age. He is one on June 1st and i've been making the when to have the next baby debate too. Good luck :-)

Alexis - posted on 03/11/2010

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I have friends who were only children and the entire we were going through I heard them say over and over and over again that they wished they had a brother or sister. I also heard them bring up your point about being the center of attention but they said they would rather have someone to play with and talk to. We all ended up being their sisters and brothers but it still wasn't the same for them. I also think that if you do have another child you should either have them close together or wait until the oldest is 3 or will be 3 when the next one is born. I have seen lots of kids with a brother or sister very close in age and they are usually the best of friends (I agree that 18 or 19 months should be about the cut off). My brother and I are 16 months apart and we get along very well. All off my cousins who were about three when the next one came along were very helpful with the baby and they still get along very well now that they are older. My daughter was 21 months when my son was born. NOT ALWAYS A GOOD SITUATION! She tries to help him a lot but she is going through her terrible 2 stage at a time when he still needs a lot of attention and it is causing her to be a little jealous and mean. I try to make sure I include her in whatever I am doing to help with that but it is still a little hard for her. I have a very very large family. I am the third oldest of over 30 cousins on my mother's side alone. I have seen only children any a million children. I think you should do whatever you feel will work best for your family but I can tell you that I never regreted having a brother.

[deleted account]

my daughter will be one on june 24/10, and her little brother or sister will be here around the end of october/10. i think having children close together is easier for them growing up (even if it might be a nightmare for mom)... i dont know about your situation, having a younger sibling when you were 12, but my sister was 9 when i was born, and she despised me since i was born because she wasnt an only child anymore. for this reason mainly we decided to have another baby right away. i also read that when children are born 18 months or less apart, theres virtually no sibling jealousy. and we already have all the "baby things" we'll need for the next one. im excited to have another baby! but whatever you decide, im sure it'll work out for you, and good luck!

Keeshea - posted on 03/11/2010

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I'm debating whether to have another child but my reasoning is different from yours. I want my child to have a brother or sister to play and grow up with. My concern is when should I have another child. I am a lawyer. I'm looking for the "perfect" job that would push my career forward. But on the other hand, I'm also 36 years old. My husband and I talked and prayed about it. We decided to try for another baby and if it happens then we believe that God will make a way for me to take care of the baby as well as find my way career-wise.



You may want to think carefully about the pros and cons about having another baby. Give it some time. Pray about it, if you are religious. Listen to your heart.

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