Crying It Out (CIO) questions

Amy - posted on 02/01/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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So we're thinking about doing CIO for my 7 month old son who is currently sleeping with us on our bed and drinking avg 10 oz at night, waking up 4-5 times.. I have some questions on CIO:

1) How long does it take? How many days?

2) Did baby behave differently after the first day, ie. distant and not smile at you?

I tried this at 4 months for 1 time for a day and gave up, and he reacted that way just for the morning.

3) How long to let him cry? And how long will they typically cry?

4) How long is baby sleeping now?

5) He is going through separation anxiety stage, is this a good time to do this? He is also very stubborn.

Thanks!

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Griselda - posted on 02/01/2010

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I used the CIO method with my first born when she was 8 months old and I don't regret it one bit.

Here's the info...



1) How long does it take? How many days? I stared on a Friday night and by Monday she was sleeping on her crib without a fuss or cry.



2) Did baby behave differently after the first day, ie. distant and not smile at you? No, as a matter of fact, she was fine being playful as always.



I tried this at 4 months for 1 time for a day and gave up, and he reacted that way just for the morning.



3) How long to let him cry? And how long will they typically cry? My daughter cried for approximately 12 minutes. However, I didn't just leave her. I put her in crib and when she started crying I went back in to rub her back and lay her down again. While rubbing her back I'd tell her that she would be ok and that I loved her. As soon as she was calm again I'd leave the room and repeat the process if she started to cry. She did cry a total of 4 times. By the 4th time she didn't pull her self up she just cried but as I said I'd rub her back and tell her that she'd be ok. The next day she cried 2 times and by Sunday she cried once. On Monday when I put her in her crib, she played with her toys and when I wen to check up on her she was sound asleep. Since then she's been sleeping on her own.



4) How long is baby sleeping now? My then 8 month old started sleeping the entire night, she's now 27 moths old and continues to be a great sleeper.



5) He is going through separation anxiety stage, is this a good time to do this? He is also very stubborn.

This one is a tough one... I can't answer that for you. You, being the mommy would now best if this is the "a good time to do this."



Do what works for you...

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Tracey - posted on 02/25/2010

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One thing I am noticing is that baby girls and baby boys sleep much differently (generally). Girls are able to sleep through the night much sooner than boys. I think it's because boys are more curious. They think we are having a party without them. LOL!



In response to your question, I did this method with my son. He never once slept through the night and he was 7 months old. I finally had enough. It took me, honestly, one day and he had it down. There are two things that you need to know:



1) I was rocking my son and giving him a bottle to put him to bed. So, when he woke up, that's the only way he could get back to sleep. So, I eliminated these two things. Istarted taking him upstairs, rocking him while we read a book, and then kiss him and put him in his crib awake. That way, he learns to fall asleep on his own.



2) I used to rock him downstairs and then, once he was asleep, I would take him upstairs and lie him in his crib. I read somewhere that babies get freaked out if they wake up and they are in a different place than when they went to bed. I can imagine! I would too. They have to have exactly the same circumstances when they wake as when they go to sleep. It will help them feel comfy and fall back to sleep.



Honestly, the first time I did it, he cried for about 10 minutes. I went in at 3 minutes, 5 minutes, and then 10 minutes. I laid him back down (without a word) and left the room. I did this for bedtime, morning nap, and afternoon nap. That was all it took.



I highly recommend this method. He does not look at you any differently. Still smiles after he woke up from naps. And now, he wakes up fully refreshed and ready to start the day without being tired.

Amy - posted on 02/24/2010

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Oh yeah and in response to your other questions Ella was a very cranky baby anyway before this so I cannot say whether she smiled less at me or not. All I know is she's far happier now.

And she now sleeps from 6-7pm right through till 7am.

As for the separation anxiety I don't know about this all I know is that I couldn't take anymore crying and sleepless nights!

Amy - posted on 02/24/2010

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Hi Amy,

I used Gina Fords Controlled crying method to settle my daughter into a routine as she was still up 3-4 times each night. And as my son was such a dream at sleeping it was a complete shock, plus she hardly napped during the day either. So after six months of complete exhaustion I decided something had to be done! So I bought the book and first thing that it says that if your baby is genuinely hungry then to look at what is going on with their feeding during the day as of course a baby who is hungry shouldn't be left to cry at night. The other thing that it said was that if your baby has slept through at least one night then you know that they are capable of doing this. The book (Gina Ford) talked a lot about wrong sleep associations also- Rocking, Dummy, Feeding, etc. etc.

Anyway I knew that my daughter does eat enough during the day and she had slept through a few nights (not in a row) so I knew she was capable of it. So I started the controlled crying method. So the book says to start with the bedtime routine feed your baby their solids, bathe them, massage them, dress them all very calmly and then feed their last bottle somewhere dimly lit and quiet, and if they start to fall asleep rouse them before putting them into the cot. So I did all this and Ella well basically the first night she screamed for two hours. It's not as harsh as what it sounds as you do go in every fifteen minutes to talk to them and soothe them- without picking them up, but no longer than a couple of minutes each fifteen minutes. Now it was stressful and as I foolishly decided to start it on a school night I had my little boy downstairs wondering what was going on and as to why I wasn't stopping her from crying which as you can imagine was heart breaking, but I just kept myself busy with housework and finally she stopped crying. The remarkable thing was that that first night she woke only once. I fed her a bottle and put her in the cot awake and she fell straight to sleep. The book also says that the more overtired that the baby is then the longer that they would cry for. She then woke at seven and then you follow the rest of Gina's routine suitable for the age of the baby. She started having proper naps in her nursery which yes she did fight on the first day but not for long and the second evening you are advised to go in again each fifteen minutes but not stroke or touch your baby, just shush them (I couldn't not stroke her and did stroke her cheek and for the second night she screamed for only an hour and didn't wake until seven the following morning (bliss!) I cannot even remember on the third night whether she cried or not so I'm guessing that if she did it was for less than fifteen minutes. And that was that. She is in a fabulous routine now she is happy and Joseph my little boy now says "Ella dosn't cry anymore now does she Mummy." Which is the best reward as previously all she seemed to do was cry- basically because there was no structure and she was so knackered.

I cannot recommend it enough it definetly worked for us and I havn't looked back since.

Good Luck x

Brenda - posted on 02/11/2010

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You have to do what feels right. He won't need you to go to sleep when he leaves for college so what ever method you use will eventually work. I personally can't do CIO. I have always responded to my baby and she is a great sleeper. I put her down sleepy and she falls to sleep on her own. If she doesn't and starts to cry I know she needs me for something. Sometimes she is still hungry, has to burp, or has had to much stimulation during the day and needs more help settling. If she trusts I will always be there she will become independent without me having to force her.

Rebecca - posted on 02/11/2010

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i did this method and it does work but you have to be strong. First thing dont listen to other mums who go on about there baby always sleeping through cause most of the time thats not always the truth, they prob in same sit but dont want to admit it! Get him in his own room asap cause if you dont now you will never have your own space, they have to understand whos boss, its horrible to see you baby cry but you have to be strong!!!!!! My baby started to sleep through at 2 months then all a sudden woke up again so i began to wean at 4 months started sleeping through again, then woke up again so the 1st night put him to bed after routine (bath, milk etc) left it 5 mins went up popped his dummy back in then left the room, then after that added 2 mins on each time i was going in, when i went in i didnt have eye contact, no speaking, no picking up, the first night may take hours it will get better it may take up to a couple of weeks, so be firm! my boy now goes to bed at 7.30pm to 8am without a peep so it does work!!!! And dont worry what people say about a dummy, use one but only when bubba goes to sleep, he maybe just need comfort! good luck!!!

Griselda - posted on 02/02/2010

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My daughter slept in our room until she turned 1. After she learned to sleep on her own, I hardly had a problem with her waking up at night and if she did she went back to sleep on her own.
After her first birthdate she went into her own room.

Amy - posted on 02/01/2010

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Thanks,Griselda. Was the baby's crib in the same room as your bed or was the crib in baby's own room? His crib is in our bedroom now because his room is upstairs while our bedroom is downstairs.

Brittney - posted on 02/01/2010

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Hi was have the same problem you are having but I don't really like the crying it out method. I am trying the sleep sense program, and it is working great. What I have been doing is putting him in his crib and sitting on a chair right beside his crib. When he starts to scream I pick him up and calm him down and put him back in the crib. I just keep doing it and he goes to sleep. It does take some time. The first night it took 45 min. but he woke up happy and well rested. Give it a try its working for me and my little guy was the same way.

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