Nimisha - posted on 01/09/2010
I wanted a homebirth so badly, but because I had had a very difficult pregnancy my husband felt it was safer to have it at a hospital, but as natural as possible.
My contractions started on a friday, 5 mins apart, so on Sunday we went to hospital...and got sent home (1cm dilated). Monday the pain got bad, so went back to hospital...and got sent home (2cm dilated). Wednesday I was trying to use a Tens machine but it wasn't helping at all and I couldn't eat as the contractions were 3-5mins apart so went to the hospital...and got sent home (2cm dilated). I would have been allowed to stay had I had any intervention to speed up the labour, but I refused.
By Thursday the only thing that would help the pain was a bath, so Thurs night I decided I would sleep in the bath with my husband and mum watching over me in shifts. But then I decided that I didn't want to inconvenience them in that way!
By the following friday, 12th June (her daddy's birthday!) (00.30am) my waters broke, so we went to hospital again! They said my contractions wer 2-3 min apart but they didn't want to examine me for risk of infection, so they said to go home. I was so exhausted I burst into tears, and the only way they would keep me is if I took Pethidine, so I did.
Within a couple of hours I was in agony, the midwife was hardly around so my husband had to go get her. When she came in she was complaining about how she would have to examine me, so they'd have to book me in for an induction the next day. It was then she realised I was 6cm and ran the water for the pool.
My contractions started feeling different while I was waiting for her to run the water (little did i know i had started pushing). I got into the pool at about 7.45am and it was shift change for the nurses. While they were doing the shift change I could feel that I was pushing and the baby was coming down the birth canal, so I told them so. They said "of course dear *rolls eyes*" My contractions were less than a minute apart and they kept getting annoyed that they were busy talking when I wasn't contracting and so couldn't check baby's heart beat. Suddenly the head popped out, so I told them "the heads out". Again the response was "of course, dear". After my husband shouted at them they used a mirror to look and then panicked as they saw baby's head, one more push and baby was out, but the midwives weren't ready!!! I saw my baby at the bottom of the pool all blue/purple and they told me not to touch her, but since she was between my legs i instinctively picked her up and cuddled her close!
It was a disappointing birth in terms of the support I expected and the fact that I had a 2nd degree tear because of it, but it was wonderful knowing I did it by myself and I was the first one to hold our first born! Next time I plan on having a home birth, since I know I can do it!!!!
Christina - posted on 12/19/2009
I had a really great experience at a birthing center in June 2009. I am so glad that I chose a midwife and not a doctor. This was my first baby and I was only in labor for 5 hours, 2 of that I didn't even know I was in labor. I stayed at home until I needed to push then got in the car and drove 20 minutes to the birthing center. I only had to push for 20 minutes and then she was here. My husband caught her and cut the cord. My midwife let me chose my labor position which was on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor. I really think that position helped her to come out so easily and fast without hurting her or me tearing very much. My next birth will be a home birth because of how fast my labor is.
Michelle - posted on 12/18/2009
Hi, After having a good birth with my first daughter Amelia i decided to have a home birth with my second daughter Felicity who was born on the 13th June 2009 and is was great, it was so nice to be in my own surroundings and have a nice shower and relax after she was born on the sofa. The labour was also very quick 1 hour 30 mins.
Cindy - posted on 12/17/2009
I have had three homebirths. The first was my second daughter in 2002. The second and third was our two sons in 2007 and 2009 and they were born in our jacuzzi outside our house. With the last two my midwife was completely hands off except to check the baby's heartbeat so I caught both of them. The first one had his cord wrapped around his neck once and our second son had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and the cord was so short I couldn't bring him out of the water without unwrapping it. Everything was fine, though. Homebirth is awesome and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
As far as solids the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusively nursing for the first six months. I still can't figure out why doctors are rec. giving food at four months. Before six months their little tummies are not ready to handle all of that and it can increase the likelihood of them having allergies to food. Even up to a year they are not going to eat much and are mainly exploring the feel and taste of food that's why it is better/easier/cheaper to just give them a little of whatever you are eating and just mash it up.
Naomi - posted on 12/17/2009
Choosing a midwife was the BEST decision ever!!! I am so grateful that here in BC midwives are fully covered and recognized as care providers, which means that we also can choose between home and hospital. no birthing centers though :(
We initially decided for the hospital, because a homebirth made us a bit nervous, but as I read more and my pregnancy progressed, and I heard of the hospital horror stories, I was nervous about NOT being at home! however, I felt one of the biggest reasons to be at home would be that it would be more comfortable than the hospital, but in our case our apartment is tiny, and the hospital is literally 5 mins up the street so I thought I would be more comfy at the hospital, not have to worry about messing the carpets (we rent) or making noise for the neighbors to hear.
I did really want a water birth, and our hospital actually did have 2 tubs, but they were first come first serve rooms and you couldn't be gauranteed. as it turned out, if I had tried to do a waterbirth at home, I probably wouldn't have even used the pool anyway!
We had the best, most gentle care ever our entire pregnancy, 45 minute long visits, meeting in a room with a big couch, hugs, information, SUCH a good expereince.
I went into prelabour on may 31st, but went about my day, as it was easy to handle, the contractions didn't get hard until around 3 am on june 1st. my water broke at 4 am and we called our midwife. she said 'that's nice dear, call me back when you're 4 mins apart, and a minute long'. Lol! before the water broke I think I was like 6 or 8 mins apart for 30 seconds. but as soon as we'd hung up the phone they went to 2-3 mins apart. So we called back, she came right over and I was 3ish Cm.
we laboured at home for a while, at 8 am i was 4-5Cm, so she said we could head to the hospital if we wanted. In my head I was thinking 'I want drugs!' cus I had back labour and was in so much pain, but the trip there turned out to be really good for me, I had to 'suck it up' and really work hard to deal with my contractions the way I had learned in Lamaze class, do my breathing, and focus cus I didn't want to make a scene in the elevator.
by the time I got to the hospital I felt like I wanted to push, i went in the shower for an hour or so and started pushing in there, so eventually they had me get out onto the bed, I was on my hands and knees most of the time, till just at the end. It was quiet and gentle in our room, the only sound was me when i pushed. my son was born at 11:58 am, no drugs, no intervention, a quiet gentle birth expereince, he was on my chest for 1-2 hours before he even got a bath or a diaper on!
our post partum experience was very rough, if we hadn't had the amazing on call homecare from our midwives that we did i'm sure i would not still be nursing today!
natural, gentle birth is the best! It's not like it doesn't hurt, it still does, but it makes the whole expereince a pleasant memory overall.
As for solids, we tired when he was 6 months (to the day) and he just wasn't taking it, I tried for a few days and then stopped, worried he was telling me he just wasn't ready. We waited a week, and on monday I tried again, and he took it like a pro! today I had to make more cus he was still wanting the cereal! ( I started with cereal because I could mix it with breast milk, I thought he'd like the familiarity better.) Watch your baby or signs of being ready, nursing is so easy! they get everything they need nutritionally from you, except posssibly iron but that's debatable, so no rush!
Thanks for posting your birth stories! this is such an uplifting conversation! I love talking about birth issues, cus I read up so much and was so passionate about it when I was pregnant.
Kelly - posted on 12/17/2009
In New Zealand, homebirths are pretty common, all three of my friends boys were born at home.
The whole birthing process in NZ , is really as unmedical as possible , with little intervention unless really necessary, and most women here have a midwife, rather than an ob, and the mw writes up a birth plan with the mother, based on what the mother wants during the pregnancy , eg , no drugs, bath for pain relief ,birthing the placenta, that sort of thing .
Basically , most of the time , what the mother wants , is what they focus on .
Both my kids were born without pain relief , have decided next time I want an epidural
What do they do with your baby after its born , in the states ? here the baby is basically put right onto us and stays with us in our room .
Victoria - posted on 12/03/2009
I put up videos of my labor on youtube...unfortunately no one filmed luciano actually coming out!
Since i was a little girl i had dreamed of having my children in my own bed with a midwife my parents and my husband....
i got just that!!
it was hard to get that even possible.
when i married michael i gained access to tricare insurance(military insurance)
which gave me the ability to figure out what the pain i was carrying around for 4 years was with my new obgyn!
my doc told me if i had waited 2-3 more weeks i would have had full blown cervical cancer that would have been unresolvable
i also had endometriosis, scar tissue and 3 ruptured cysts on my ovaries.
when i became pregnant 5 months later when my husband came home from Baghdad, Iraq, after being told it would be difficult for us to have kids...
my doc told me i was a high risk.
wheni was 8 months pregnant i found out that i was not ACTUALLY high risk pregnancy
that my doc and i had miss communicated!
the fact was the i was at high risk to have the cancer return!!
so i rushed to find a midwife!
i was 5 weeks from due date when i found one.
2 weeks before due date she let me go because my parents would be in the room with me and she didnt like that!!!
2 days later i found another midwife! she was wonderful!
as you can see in the videos i had my parents here with me in our new home (which looks totally different now haha)
everything went smoothly!
there was one scare though. i had the tub set next to my bed because i wanted to have him in my bed after laboring in the tub.
i was in labor all throughout my house for 7 and half hours till i got into the tub. i was in there for 3 hours when suddenly my midwife checked his heart rate just as it was dropping FAST! she told me to get onto the bed immediately!
from then on it was hard as hell for me.
i had to hurry up and push him out because he could die
i had to try to ignore the feeling of a bowling ball being stuck in my pelvis and forced out my tiny vagina! ugh!! it hurt so bad.
ya know how you hear alot about the wonderful feeling you get when the baby comes out.. the feeling that they talk about on the "business of being born" ...the ecstasy, the motherly bond...
unfortunately i was in so much pain from that and even when he was out i felt like i was still pushing him out it hurt so bad, so i did not get that wonderful feeling until at least an hour later.... :-( it made me so sad because i wanted that so badly!
i have dreamed of being a mommy my entire life
not having that feeling made me feel like the worst person on earth.
but i tell you what.
the whole experience overall was so incredible i will surely do it again.
i felt like a wolf in a cave.
i can not imagine having my baby in a hospital.
i continuously felt like i needed to move around in different positions. i couldn't stand the lights to be on. i didn't want anyone talking to me when hard labor hit.
natural labor makes you feel like the strongest person on earth!
Danielle - posted on 12/03/2009
Long story short, I had a great experience with my hospital and my Dr in having the birth be as natural as possible, but it did not work out that way. I plan to have more children and don't see any reason why I would not do a VBAC. I would love to learn even more about others experiences before I go through it again (see below for long story).
I am very supportive of natural birth for myself, but I was not comfortable doing a home birth. There are 0 midwives or doula's that live in my town, they would have to travel from 60 to 80 miles away. Our house is quite far from the hospital. A friend in town who did a home birth ended up having to have her husband deliver her with the midwife on the phone, something I know my own husband would not have been able to do with confidence.
Our hospital staff was very supportive of natural births (we could hear our attending nurses bragging to their co-workers that I was going to have no pain management), position changing, natural methods for pain management, breastfeeding immediately after birth, nothing but breast milk even if in the nursery etc. My general practitioner and I had many conversations about how we wanted it to go and what kind of complications could could occur, which interventions I was comfortable with etc. I asked him a lot of questions about his specific experience, how many natural births vs how many c-sections AND made sure he knew I wanted to avoid a c-section at all costs, and not to offer it unless he thought it was necessary (based on our conversations about what could make it necessary). Perhaps if my husband had been super doula man, we might have fought harder against the c-section when the decision time came and kept on with pushing... but that is all in the past now.
My daughter was descending down the birth canal and seemed to get stuck. After a few attempts to assist her out with suction were unsuccessful the C section was recommended. While doing the procedure hey discovered the cord was around her neck and it was not long enough to deliver her (I know my sister and others have been born with a cord around their neck). There is a part of me that wonders if the surgeon that performed the C-section would fib about that just to reassure me. He did talk to me before I was wheeled out of my birth room about the incision could be done to make a VBAC more possible, so he was not completely clueless.
Marisa - posted on 12/03/2009
My first son was a c-section, and that was probably due to the doctors strong and constant encouragement that I needed one. I did have a VBAC, but it was a difficult birth and I stopped progressing for a long time. My midwife said to use pitocin or I'd need a c-section, and so the interventions began, and of course, caused other interventions to be necessary. Before my second son was born I was studying to be a doula, but the second delivery was so bad and so negative that I had to stop. It's hard for me to believe that people can have such beautiful experiences, but your posts give me hope. God willing my next birth will be a positive, empowering experience. And I will definately use a doula the next time around.
Lisa - posted on 12/02/2009
I delivered Gus on June 2,2009. It was a home birth and he was A successful water birth. It was an extremely difficult and painful experience but so magical at the same time. I'll never forget the moment my midwife put him on my chest. Looking at such a beautiful being that had just come out of my amazing strong and grateful body. Such an experience that only us like minded mommys can understand.
Tiffany - posted on 11/29/2009
Kris, that's a wonderful story! It's so hard to find hospital staff that willing to let you have the birth you desire. You're so lucky and I think that partly it's because you knew what you wanted and asked for it in a rational, educated way. Thank you for helping to temper my opinions of hospital births and congratulations on baby #2. I think about having another and it fills me with anxiety because I'd be so worried it would take me away from my son and he wouldn't get the attention he needs from me. Maybe that's silly?
Sabrina, thanks for sharing your experience too! I'm still a bit nervous about home birth and I felt so secure at the birth center. Also, maybe if we had a bigger house it could've worked but our place is so small. And you're so brave to have all your family there! It's hard for me to be that open and trusting with people other than my husband, even though I'm extremely close with my family. I was actually shy about the noise I was making, even though I knew it was completely natural and it didn't bother me, I was afraid my friends would worry about me and so the midwives had them leave. Your baby is almost 6 months old, are you going to be starting solids soon?
Sabrina - posted on 11/29/2009
Yes I had a homebirth too June 1st, 2009 and it was the most awesome experiance. I used the birthing pool in my kitchen and my whole family was there my husband, our two older girls and two of my closest girlfriends. My friend Carol keeps telling everyone she held towels.
Kris - posted on 11/21/2009
hi, i didn't have a homebirth, but we had as close to that as possible with my hospital birth in June. We went in armed with a doula and birth plan, hoping for basically a homebirth in a hospital setting. I hadn't been able to talk dh into a homebirth because we had 3 miscarriages in between dd and this baby. I'd gone to bed at 9:30 on June 2nd with nothing more than a few braxton hicks throughout the day, which was totally normal for me. At 10:30 pm I woke up with definite contraction that were roughly 10-12 min apart. I got up and used the bathroom, then tried to sleep some more. Finally woke dh up after an hour because it was definitely labor :) . He ran a bath for me and I hung out in the tub for another hour. We finally called the dr's office as they got to be 5 min or so apart and got to the hospital around 1:30am. I was already at 6cm, so they got us into our room. I had the lights very very low, and I had brought a cd of ocean waves with quiet classical in the background. The whole time I was able to just breathe through a contraction sand then just resume talking like normal....so weird! I never really felt like I was in transition or anything. I started pushing just before 5am, watching the sun come up over the hills from our big picture window in our room. it was so peaceful and just an amazing experience. We were blessed to have the dr on call not be from our practice (they were very pro c-section an dintervention, but had been amazing with the mental/emotional part of our care. hence the reason we went with a doula). The dr was completely respectful of our hands-off approach and actually just sat in the rocking chair most of the time. We had requested that dh "catch" so the dr coached him thru that, again remaining very hands-off for the most part. Ds was born into his daddy's hands at 5:22 am and then I was able to pull him up onto my chest. He latched on after about 15 min and did great! After the experience we had, dh is now okay with the idea of our next baby being born at home. Big sister has already said she wants to be there when we have another and would like to cut the cord. She just turned 4, but is very mature for her age, and i work on an ambulance, so she is very comfortable with medical related stuff.
As for solids, we are waiting until at least 6 months. I think we may let him try some sweet potatoes by Christmas, but who knows. Right now he's doing great with the nursing, even being very gentle with his 3!!! teeth. So happy to find some like minded mamas on here!
Tiffany - posted on 11/20/2009
Thanks Laura! I'm going to wait awhile to start Zaden on solids. I don't think 6 months needs to be the magic number, necessarily and I love nursing him. I haven't researched it, to be honest, other than reading the usual 6 month recommendation. My pediatrician urges parents to wait until 'at least' 6 months, but he's a very progressive, forward-thinking doctor. He also recommends we eat as much organic foods as possible and uses an alternative vaccination schedule based on "The Vaccine Book" by Dr. Sears.
It is tempting to give him a little rice cereal at night dissolved in breast milk. I hear this helps them sleep much better and not get hungry at night, and it's working great for a friend of mine whose son is 3 weeks older than Zaden. But again, I'm not in any hurry, and I feel so strongly that my milk is made specifically for him, why rush it? I already told my husband I'll probably wait longer than the 6 month mark and he's ok with whatever I choose. Besides, I'm really not looking forward to the gross, smelly, big poops! :) Changing diapers is an adventure as it is.
If you have any good references for reading up on the switch to solid foods I'd love to know what they are. Thanks again Laura.
Laura - posted on 11/19/2009
WOW, if I read your post to my husband he'd swore I wrote it (except for the details about your birth of course) I couldn't agree with you more, and truly believe everything you said here. Funny, my due date was June 14th, and my baby was born on June 12th, cool they are just 2 days apart. I definitely want to read your birth story, I love reading birth stories. I have mine written in a word document, could email it to you if you're interested in reading it.
Since we're on the same page with birth, I'm curious where you stand starting solids, especially since our babies are so close in age? I am still holding Nola off, she's just 5 months and 1 week, everything I read says to wait until 6 months, for many different reasons. I never understood why moms are so adamant to start solids the day their babies turn 4 months old. I mean, you go to your 4 month check up and they're telling you to start them on solids. I think it's crazy personally. They're digestive tract isn't even fully developed and ready to handle solids until closer to 7 months, and you're putting them at a higher risk for allergies....not to mention the links to obesity later in life. I'd love to hear your thoughts? Also, I'm just not looking forward to all the extra work and mess involved, it just complicates everything. I love nursing my babe, it's just so easy this way.
Tiffany - posted on 11/18/2009
Thanks Laura, it's wonderful to hear your story. My son was born June 14th, only three days after his due date. I have the entire birth story in a vlog on youtube under lifebodyfit, along with weekly video updates on how my pregnancy was going. So many women are told in the hospital 'if you hadn't had that c-section you would've lost your baby' so that they feel grateful and indebted to the doctors and hospital instead of angry that they were given an unnecessary procedure. The Business of Being Born was an amazing movie, but I watched it long after I chose the midwife route so it just reinforced my decision.
Near the end of Zaden's birth, I was kneeling on the bed and could feel my contractions slowing down a bit, and the midwives told me, very gently, that if I'd like them to speed back up I could stand up and lean against the bed with my legs, holding on to my husband's neck. Of course I wanted to speed it up so I stood up and he was born a very short time later. I didn't find out until later that his heart rate had dropped to 80bpm, which would've caused a huge panic in a hospital. Instead of panicking and scaring me, they just quietly suggested a change of position that would progress things faster. In a hospital they would've rushed me to an operating room, I know this because I've heard similar stories from other women. They start rushing around, bring in a bunch of people, scare the birthing mother, whose contractions then slow even further or just stop altogether, and they do an operation.
I'm so incredibly grateful to those powerful, wise women. They helped me birth my son in such a caring, professional way. So many people feel that midwives aren't as educated as doctors, but it's simply that their education has an emphasis on HEALTHY pregnancy and delivery, whereas a doctors educations is in what to do if something goes wrong. Why not go to the women who specialize in healthy pregnancy when you're not sick...you're pregnant! It's not a disease or an illness, why treat it like one unless you are sick or have some extenuating circumstances that demand the attention of a doctor? When I realized this it rang true in the deepest part of me. I know this isn't the truth for every woman, but it certainly is for me.
I don't want anyone reading this to think I would ever judge them for making a different decision, it's just that I'm so glad I chose what I did. And I hope to open the eyes of women who are weighing their options.
Laura - posted on 11/18/2009
Obviously we all know how unpredictable birth can be, but in most normal, healthy pregnancies if the birthing process in not intervened with things go smoothly. Thankfully in your case, Jennifer, we have OB's who are great at what they do....surgery. I'm glad you have a healthy baby! But being at home is just as safe. If a problem were to arise, such as a situation where a c-section would be necessary a midwife would see those signals long before it becomes dangerous and a hospital transfer would occur. Midwives are all about having a plan B. I find it frightening that the statistics of C-sections are now 1 out of 3 in the hospital.
Morgan, your story just breaks my heart. To hear that your doctor was texting while you were pushing just makes me cringe. I'm so sorry you had an experience like that. Good for you, pushing through without any pain meds, that is really admirable, especially after being given pitocin, ugh, that stuff is awful. You're a strong woman! Also the part about the staff not helping you nurse from the start makes me sooooo sad. When my daughter was born she was placed directly on my chest (we had a water birth) she stayed on my chest for the next 2 hours. I got out of the tub after about 20 minutes and everyone helped us out and onto the sofa which was made up like a bed. She was able to nurse when she wanted and we were able to bond and just be together. I had to finally ask Jan (midwife) to weigh her, because I was so curious. That's when Daddy finally got to hold her. Maybe next time (if you chose to have another) you will look into using a midwife at a birthing center, or at home. I guarantee your experience will be completely different.
My water broke and I didn't have any contractions right away. I also tested positive for strep b and never needed any antibiotics, you were right to think what you did about those interventions being unnecessary, it's just hospital protocol for those situations. Midwives handle this stuff so differently, from a homeopathic perspective. For the strep b I was put on a strict regimen of vitamins and probiotics (orally and vaginally) for a few weeks leading up until the birth. When I was in labor we did a antiseptic vaginal wash, strep b was never an issue. My midwife wasn't even concerned about it. As far as getting the contractions going we used nipple stimulation, after 30 minutes of this my contractions were coming on 5 minutes apart, after that I took a vigorous walk and got them to 2 minutes apart.
Morgan - posted on 11/17/2009
My water broke and I didn't have any contractions past 24 hrs. There has been A LOT of controversy over whether to induce in that situation but I just didn't know enough about it. I assumed I would first have contractions. Aside from the pitocin and the antibiotic for Group B Strep...which I'm still not sure I needed but was all but forced on me...I had a natural birth. That sounds ridiculous but what I mean is that I still pushed through labor without any pain medication. I wanted a midwife for many of the same reasons but was unable to find one in my area. To give an example of the callousness of the ob/gyn...my doctor was texting on his cell phone as I was pushing!!! I wanted to breastfeed after delivery but as a first time mom, I didn't know how. I mentioned my wishes to the nurses but not one would stop cleaning up to show me how to latch my daughter. When I was transferred to recovery however, I was treated much better. Anyway, I love to hear good experiences with natural births so thank you for posting this thread!
Jennifer - posted on 11/17/2009
I am glad you both had such a great experience!! I was so glad with my first son that I was at the hospital because I had to have a c-section or we would have lost him!! So again glad you had a great experience but not everyone is the same.
Laura - posted on 11/17/2009
That is fantastic Tiffany! I should have simply asked who has had a natural birth on my post, because that is really what it's all about. It doesn't really matter where you were, just the fact that you let your body lead the way and trusted the birthing process. When was your baby born? I had my daughter, Nola, on June 12th, so she's just turned 5 months.
When I had my son, who is now 5, he was born in a hospital, with interventions (pitocin and epidural). I didn't see it as a problem until much later, after the fact. At the time I was just "doing what everyone did". I was clueless. Then I saw "The Business of Being Born" and began to question everything that was done to me in the hospital, I was totally put through their system. I did tons of research and found an incredible midwife. The second time was sooooo completely different than the first. The birth was such an incredible empowering experience, I felt like I could do anything immediately after giving birth. I'm sure you felt the same way. My recovery was so much easier, the hormones were flowing, nursing was (and is) a breeze, and I never felt any postpartum depression. And, yes the level of care given by a midwife FAR exceeds the care you receive with an OB/GYN. It's a shame more people don't know about this and question maternity care in our country. Glad to meet you here, it's so nice to hear of another positive natural birth experience.
Tiffany - posted on 11/15/2009
I didn't have a home birth but I did give birth 100% naturally at a birth center with midwives. It was an incredible, powerful experience and I wouldn't have it any other way. The more I learned about the hospital experience the more I just can't understand why anyone would actually choose to birth that way. Of course, I was afraid of NOT having my baby in a hospital before I had 2 miscarriages with a traditional doctor and hated the detached, non-caring treatment I received there. It was then that I finally opened my eyes and started tentatively researching home births and midwives. I'm SO glad I did. My midwives helped me believe that my body was more than capable of bearing and birthing a healthy baby and boy did I! It was the opposite of scary or dangerous as so many believe. Thanks for starting this conversation, I hope other mothers join in.
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