How do you stay calm?

Dawn - posted on 08/16/2010

Don't feel to bad! It does not mean that you are not a good mom. It means that you were at your limit and needed a break! All mommies do.

Laura - posted on 08/11/2010

It's rough. I know my son is very well behaved and sometimes i find myself using a mean tone with him as well when he throws a tantrum. when he frusterateds you remember to take a step back and breathe. His tantrums come from one of 2 things or a combination of 2 things which are tired and unable to communicate. At his age he can't comprehend why things are happening he just knows when he doesn't like whats happening. so breathe remember you know whats best and his tantrum will not last forever. Let him have his fit and move on.

Caitlyn - posted on 08/11/2010

Don't beat yourself up! You're only human, and as such at some point you are going to get frustrated. Keep in mind your son loves you no matter what, just the way you love him, and that to him you are the perfect parent. But anyways if you get too frustrated just walk away as the others said

Ava - posted on 08/11/2010

My daughter tests me as well. I think they test you because they know you're their ultimate authority and babies, who are experiencing the first phases of independence, are interested in pushing those limits and seeing how far they can and what they can get away with. My way of coping is to walk away and realize that, and realize the child may also not feel good or have another problem he/she cannot vocalize to me if they aren't just testing me on purpose. Either way, the best way to deal with that is to take them out and play. Wear them the F out until they *can't* stay awake anymore, give them a nice warm meal and some milk or some juice. Lexi passes out every time.

Katrina - posted on 08/08/2010

The only advice that I could give you is to stay calm. Getting frustrated with your child doesn't help. I'm not saying that it's not okay to be frustrated with your child because God knows I have gotten frustrated with my daughter. If you lie him down for a nap and he keeps getting out of his bed, go into his room and lie him back down in his bed and tell him it is time for bed and walk right back out. If he is still in a crib just let him cry because he will know that he can get you to come in as long as he cries. After a few days he will realize that mom isn't going to come when I act this way. Good luck to you!

Angela - posted on 08/05/2010

Hi Carrie...I am a first time mom (and much older than most :))and welcome any suggestions. Some light massage is a great idea. I did try to rock her and rub her back but she just squirmed, but maybe I'll try on the floor next time. I was also wondering if maybe she fell asleep on her arms and one or both of them fell asleep...I know I don't like that feeling either so I can only imagine what it would do to a little one that doesn't understand what's happening! Thanks so much :)

Carrie - posted on 08/05/2010

To Angela - Do you think it could be a growing pain? Maybe her legs or somewhere are growing and she's trying to get away from the pain (the throwing herself backward part)? What would happen if you tried to rub her legs/arms/back or something? Maybe while sitting or with her lying on the floor so she doesn't pitch. :) Just a thought!

Angela - posted on 08/05/2010

To Jennifer Humphrey...thank you so much for the suggestion!! I have tried taking her for a walk and it really is a great way to distract her from the meltdown however she wasn't having any part of it the last couple days. I really don't want to use timeout because she's not misbehaving...it's just so difficult when you have no idea what's wrong and they can't tell you :( I really appreciate you reaching out!! Thanks :)

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2010

To Angela Stenuis , Have your tried walking outside with your daughter during a meltdown? sometimes a change in scenery will help. My family will do that when I'm trying to cook dinner and a nap or timeout is not really needed. We take him outside and point out cars, trees, birds and so forth. If that doesn't work we use the time out.

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2010

My youngest son is 14mnth, We use firm voices with him when he's acting out. If he's getting out of control We will take him to his crib saying "you need a timeout to get yourself togather". We all give him 5mins to either cry it out or fall asleep. This gives us all a chance to calmed down and then he's ready to play nice or nap. I also do this with my 6y/o. When he's angry and frustrated we tell him to lay down for a few minutes to get himself togather, same results. I have 5 kids 3 of themn are over 16y/o. This is how we all handle the tantrums and it works for us.

Angela - posted on 08/04/2010

Totally at my wits end today after two days of my daughter having very long meltdowns. Normally she's great so I had myself convinced she was sick, teething or something was seriously wrong. Yesterday she woke up from her am nap, ate and then started screaming and crying unconsolably for 3 hours. I tried everything and nothing worked. Then I started to panic a little but she had no fever, she ate, drank and slept with no issues. I put her down for her second nap and I fell asleep too I was so exhausted from her meltdown. Then she woke up and seemed fine. Today, similar thing happened but it started during her 2nd nap. She woke up after an hour crying so hard she could barely catch her breath and that went on for a couple hours. I finally put her in her playyard because anything I tried was not working...she wouldn't even let me hold her...she was throwing herself back and I was petrified she was going to fly out of my arms. Hubby got home and she's been fine ever since. I'm very fortunate because she knows a lot of sign language so she usually tells me when she's hungry, thirsty or sleepy...I'm currently trying to teach her the sign for pain but she hasn't quite grasped that yet. Although I don't wish these meltdowns on anyone, it must just be a stage and I felt so much better knowing how many of you are experiencing the same thing! Thank you so much for this post!

Margaret - posted on 08/04/2010

There really is NO sure, set solution for coping w/ frustrations of parenting. Does your son nap @ the same time every day? Sometimes, when kids REALLY fight a nap, they really are saying that they're tired, but they enjoy pushing OUR buttons to see how much it'll affect US!

Maybe your son's going through a growth spurt, and if so, then his sleeping patterns could change at any given moment. Be as flexible as you can, especially if you can push his naptime back by 15 mins, half hour, etc....My 2nd daughter just turned a year on 6/23, and at naptime, she's fussy, but I let her fuss...my older daughter was fussy sometimes, too....it sux when they don't nap, but the good thing, too, is that by 7:00 p.m., bathtime beckons to get ready 4 bedtime!

I yelled @ my daughter when she drove ME nuts w/ no sleeping, and I cried my EYES out from the guilt...I'd just give her extra hugs/kisses after her nap, the morning after, etc. so that she'd KNOW that I didn't mean how I spoke to/deal w/ her....sometimes, we have to completely just leave our emotions and feelings about how we feel @ THAT moment of ready 2 scream and just put our child FIRST...I tell myself that the moment will pass, and it usually does....

No Mother is perfect - we never HAVE been, and we never WILL be...just pray a LOT to our Lord, He KNOWS the bottom line, and He can't BE everywhere, so that's why He made Moms :)

Good luck, hope that helps!

Caren - posted on 08/04/2010

I do the same thing. My son can be so stubborn and wont listen when I tell him no. What I do is stick him in his crib and just let him cry until I can calm down then go in there and deal with him.

Shannon - posted on 08/04/2010

i honestly wish i did. i get the same way. my daughter is amazing when we're in public, but when we get home she throws the worst fits, im also at a loss. but u may have to put him down and sit a minute, and once u can breathe normal again, then try again, its worked for me

Kristy - posted on 08/03/2010

This is totally normally, but I wouldn't call it a test. I would say that you and your son are having a personality clash because you too much alike and are getting caught up in a power struggle. I have found the book ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Runkel helpful. But there are many things you can try to make nap time or just rest time easier on both of you. I am a parent coach and would be happy work with you. My website is http://pureparenting.vpweb.com/ and my email is kristydixon00@gmail.com Good Luck and just know you are by no means alone in this.

Irina - posted on 08/03/2010

It is interesting that we all are humans and go through similar things. What helps me, when I feel like I reached the pick and ready to scream (after rocking my daughter 1 hour she doesnt sleep , or if she keeps getting into stuff she shouldnt), I either put her down for 5 minutes in her crib and take a few breaths, maybe have a drink or cold water,or use a bathroom, or go wash my face with cold water (all these things really help to calm own). And then I take her back ito my arm and talk to her with love, saying that mommy loves her and mommy wants her to be a good girl and fall asleep for an hour, and when she will wake up, mommy will play with her. I dont know if she understands the words, but the loving tone of my vioce soothes her and she usually falls asleep within the next 10 minutes. Sometimes I realize that I reached the pick of frustration, and I just tell myself: Cam down, your baby needs your love and wants you to show your love. Then I just start talking very loving to her, and thats what she knows as mommy, so she would listen not to get into stuff she should not or go to sleep. So just try to suddenly realize when you are "ready to scream" and juts calm down instead and become a kind loving mommy again. I know it sounds very hard, but with some practice it will get easier and easier every time. Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 08/02/2010

Oh yes i deff go through this and my husband always gets mad when i raise my voice and dont talk real calm. The only way my daughter kinda listens is if you tell her something using a stern voice other wise she just ignores me. and even if i raise my voice/use a stern voice she laughs. I get so frustrated sometimes but then she does this growling type thing and i cant help but to smile and laugh with her.

Carrie - posted on 08/02/2010

First of all, don't beat yourself up. I know I personally have had times that I regret -- my 3yo as a baby one night would NOT stay asleep and I pulled him out of his crib a little harsher than I meant to and he cried...I was mortified and haunted for months...still bothers me a little. We ALL do it. The best we can do is try to take it slow, count to ten first if that helps, remember that this, too, will pass, and most importantly (for me, at least) remember that they're not doing it to attack us personally, just test us and see what we'll do. Your son acts differently with you because you're with him all the time, you're his mother, and -- think of it this way -- he's comfortable enough with you to test his boundaries. He knows you love him and that he's safe and that you will catch him if he falls, so he's also (unfortunately) comfortable with finding his limits. Fortunately, these are the teachable moments where you get to reinforce your rules, his boundaries, and keep him safe and teach him obedience.

Beyond all that, one of the most important things you can do is now teach him about forgiveness. It's bothering you how you treated him, so you can go to him and tell him you need to say you're sorry for how you spoke to him. You were angry because he wasn't being obedient, but you didn't use nice words like you should have, and you're sorry; will he please forgive you? It'll teach him that everyone messes up, including you, that you need forgiveness from him, that he can also feel safe in apologizing and asking forgiveness of you, and he'll feel a little more grown up and will (hopefully) be a little more willing to comply in the future. Hope this helps -- we're all in the same boat here. :D

Cindy - posted on 08/01/2010

As a stay at home mom I definitely lose my patience daily! When that happens I put him in his bed for 10 minutes and give myself a little time out :) I can't say it always works but it does help.

Kirsty - posted on 08/01/2010

My daughter is going through the same at the moment, she never wants to go to bed even if she is shattered, she is really testing me in the last few weeks.
Since she has started walking she goes crazy if she doesn't get what she wants. She now scratches and pinches i smack her hand which she takes no notice of.
I feel like she is punching me for what an easy time I had when she was born she was such a great baby so well behaved but now the devil seems to have come out of her, she screams the house down if i try and change her nappy or dress her, shes only happy when she is eating.

Amy - posted on 07/31/2010

I hate to be the one to tell you but this battle will never end! I'm the mother of a 17 year old, a 13 year old and a 13 month old and let me tell you it only gets worse. Just keep in mind you are only doing your job... and they are doing theirs. My girls are forever getting compliments from teachers, relatives, other parents and my response is always "Really?". It is their job to test their boundaries and try to gain more independence. It is our job to teach the to respect those boundaries and consequences to their actions. If you are the main disciplinarian then you will be the one he challenges most. I know it is hard and heartbreaking to punish our babies but stay strong. If you are consistent with your rules and punishment then they learn what to expect and it does get easier and you will have a well behaved young man someday... even for you!

Jennifer - posted on 07/30/2010

I know exactly how it is.I get really frustrated with my 13 month old because either he won;t nap or he's destroying the house. Sometime we all slip& use angry voices i know i have,but when i feel like I'm going to explode when it's obviously nap time i put my son in his crib and without hesitation go in and take a relaxing shower or bath..or even just lock myself in the bathroom with hot water running just to calm down.it doesn't hurt to let them cry eventually they will go to sleep.or at least give you a small break..Good luck hun i keep hearing this is just a stage it will pass but if this is what teenage years look like for us I have a feeling we may be screwed lots of hot baths in my future.

Sherelle - posted on 07/30/2010

My son is like that now, where as before he went to sleep with no problem. Now he screams and whines and it works my last nerve. His father doesn't live with us so its just me alone trying to wrestle him to sleep. Usually I turn off everything and leave the room. If he's really tired he will fall asleep. I stay out long enough to make sure he's asleep b/c sometimes I can walk in and he perks back up again (ugh!). But as mad as he makes me I still love him. And I enjoy the reward of watching him sleep like a little angel and kissing his little face.

CHERYL - posted on 07/30/2010

hi glad this has been put on i have 13m old twins and find it very frustrating putting down for naps and bedtime.we have always been in a routine its defo got harder i used to be able just to put them down now i have to rock one and if the other starts crying it usually wakes the other up.once 1 asleep i put them in their room then start on the other i woundered about controlled crying,but they cry soo loud they end up bath wake and crying i really dont no what to do?

Alyssa - posted on 07/30/2010

I have the same problem everyone thinks I'm a bitch of a mom bc I get on to him or spank him. They dont do that he hasnt done anything wrong ohh yes he did you just didnt have him and see (whatever he was doing). I stay with him 24/7 and get no help from anyone even his daddy who lives with us. I think if he is doing something wrong let him know. I dont believe in "time out" that just doesnt work for him.

Mandy - posted on 07/29/2010

It is a hard situation and every mom has been there. My son was colic and a preemie that I couldn't just let cry (he would blow of too much co2 and lose o2), my coping was to close my eyes when I held him and think, "there are so many mom's who lose their babies and wish they could hear this cry right now." Didnt always work but did help me put things into perspective.

Sandra - posted on 07/29/2010

My coping strategy is to just walk away. If I think I am gettting too grumpy with him when he's not going down to nap when he'd tired and should be napping. I just leave him in his cot with a bottle / book / toy of some kind. Let him cry for 5 minutes and calm down and go back and try to put him down again.

Becky - posted on 07/29/2010

I totally can relate to all of you. My son has only just recently started going down for his first nap of the day well. Just a few minutes of crying (if any) and he's out for at least 2 hours. It's the second nap that gets us... He gets cranky and whiny and when we put him in his crib he'll cry like we've just abandoned him forever. He gets himself so worked up that it's impossible to get him to sleep and when we bring him out he whines and sobs and the only thing that will distract him is if we put on a movie or a show. I hate using tv as a way to calm him.
All of your tips sound great and I'm hoping that with your help we'll be able to work something out for him... soon!

Alycia - posted on 07/29/2010

I kinda have the same problem..... My daughter does NOT like being told what to do or if we are in the mall and I stop her from going in the wrong direction she will full blow hissy on the floor. She is 13months and has been doing this for about two months now. I just let her take a few deep breaths and think it will be ok and either way they will grow up sooner or later and it will be all new stuff to deal with. Enjoy even the hard times

Imelda - posted on 07/29/2010

I usually just said 'NO" firmly to my son when he does something he shouldn't do or take the stuff from his hands or move him somewhere else. I put him in his swing at nap time and he goes to sleep just like that. At night, I pat his back for 5 minutes then let him go to sleep by himself in his crib. He usually cries for 5 minutes then goes to sleep. My baby is 13 months old now. He hasn't talked yet. I think it's okay to let him know when he is doing something wrong. It's okay to discipline your child. I think that's what you were doing and it's not being mean. It's showing that you love him by not spoiling him.

Daniyela - posted on 07/29/2010

I just walk away and let him cry. That is better. Or I just hug him and kiss him and lay down and sign and talk to him telling him that I need him to go to bed so tomorrow morning we'll wake up and go to school and mom and dad will go to work. Most of the time he will calm down and go to sleep.

Megan - posted on 07/28/2010

I try to redirect him with playing or putting on his dvds. That only works part of the time. I take him outside and that usually does it. Sometimes, like tonight, I just had to go outside for a few minutes to get away from his tantrum.

Renu - posted on 07/28/2010

Wow! I really thought I was the only one that loses my temper and gets so frustrated. My little one really tests me when taking a nap in the daytime. He might be really tired but it takes forever to put him to sleep. He's 13 months old and just this morning he was giving me a hard time so I tried the whole routine in his room and after half an hour, I decided to go for a walk with him in his stroller. A few minutes later after we went out, he fell asleep:) So basically I just do trial and error depending on his mood. Then he tested me at lunch time not eating much with the nanny here but then ate a great dinner! I just try to take deep breaths and do a little meditation to calm myself down. I also call my sisters so I can vent and get other suggestions. It really helps for me to talk to someone. Good luck!:)

Sherry - posted on 07/28/2010

My daughter tests me every day and I catch myself when I get frustrated with her and I have to leave the room and take some deep breaths because it is not her that I am mad at it is the way she is acting and I know that she is still learning things and it takes time and patients. Everyone tells me that it is because I am the one with her all the time because she seems to be good for everyone else. Just take deep breaths,walk away for a few minutes if you have to and then go back and deal with the problem/situation.I am starting a few days a week to send her day care to see if that helps any , I am hoping.

Janessa - posted on 07/28/2010

You know it gets a little more frustrating as they get older and are not confined in cribs. I find it easy to just ignore my 13 month old, or laugh at his antiques, because my older kids are so much more trying right now. I still see him as a baby and not knowing any better, but my older ones I have gotten extremely frustrated with to the point where I know I am not being the best Mommy I can be and yes I do feel guilty. For me what works is prayer. It gives me the inspiration I need to handle the situations better, and the peace I need to calm down. That's honestly what works for me. Good-luck. Being a Mommy is probably one of, if not the hardest job. Especially when we are so far from perfect ourselves.

Caitlin - posted on 07/28/2010

My daughter's testing me right now haha I put her in her crib for nap time and tell her good night. She's tired obviously. Rubbing her eyes and stuff like that but she LOVES testing me. Just try to stay calm and if possible, have some one babysit for you. You're most likely getting frustrated because you need a break.

Alicia - posted on 07/28/2010

Everyone's story sounds so similar to mine! My LO is generally a very sweet boy, but boy does he fight nap time, even when he is obviously exhausted!

I have found that instead of putting him in a darkened nursery and trying to make him lay down in his crib, if instead I turn on a CD of mixed stories/songs and let him stand or sit in his crib with a toy, leaving the lights on and the door open, then HE can choose to lay down and go to sleep (which he usually does within 15 minutes without too much fuss), or he can play quietly in his crib while Mommy gets chores done or even a nap! Giving him the power to choose when to go to sleep seems to diffuse the situation for us greatly, and has greatly reduced my frustration. Sometimes he'll cry for a minute or two at being left alone in his crib, but not long, and he seems content to play by himself or sleep after that.

I hope that helps, and good luck! Being a SAH Mom has been the HARDEST job I've ever had, but I love it!

Kayla - posted on 07/28/2010

Just take a deep breath and pray he goes to sleep quickly then do something for yourself. Everyone has talked about what to do for baby, don't forget to take time for yourself each day. And I understand everyone telling you what an angel your little one is, and you don't agree with them. My little one is practically perfect when it comes to strangers, and smiles and grins and just wins hearts over. Then we go home and I get the screams and fits over nothing. It's unfortunately our roll as moms to take it. Just don't forget you are important too. :D

Becky - posted on 07/28/2010

I've been there before! Although I might get angry at the situation I keep reminding myself that I am not frustrated at my daughter, I am frustrated at her behavior. Here is my advice: (if you want it!)

1. When you put your son down for a nap, make a routine of it. Take him to his room and read a book or play for a few minutes with a quiet toy. Remind him throughout that in a few minutes it will be time for a nap.

2. Lay him in his crib and rub his back for a few minutes before you leave.

3. Play music to help relax him.

4. When you leave, expect that he will cry. It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to let my daughter cry for a while before going back in.

5. If you have to return to the room be stern and simply say it's time for a nap, lay down please.

6. If you have to start all over, do so. There's no need to frustrate yourself! Bring him out and play a game, get a snack or drink then try again. The 5 minutes it takes may be just what he needs to fall asleep for a few hours.



As far as coping with the frustration of it all I usually change gears with my daughter if she refuses to sleep after trying everything I can. She loves to be outside so that is our safety net! Anytime she's fussy or grouchy we go on the deck and she calms right down! Going for a walk is something else that works well for us. It gives us both the fresh air and exercise (I) needed. If all else fails I look at her and ask her to show me what she wants. She'll usually take my hand and lead me to whatever it is that she is trying to tell me but can't! I think being a teacher has taught me how to be patient with my own child and deal with the stresses that I encounter with her!



Good luck and hope this helps!

Robin - posted on 07/26/2010

i find it helpful to remind myself that my daughter is still a child and still learning.

she wont always be an angel and thats okay... i shouldnt expect her to act like an adult cos she is still essentially a baby!

Danielle - posted on 07/26/2010

When my daughter is on a cranky week sometimes we know why, sick/teething/growth spurt, but sometimes there is no reason why. I have recently started staying home with her so there is no more "mommy is frustrated, daddy takes over" like there used to be on evenings and weekends when I was working.

Since no one else has suggested it, have you tried baby signs to give your child a chance to communicate some of the basic needs? Maybe he really wanted a bottle before his nap, or was still hungry?

We started out with the basics of milk, eat, all done, and sleep although she still doesn't know sleep as a baby sign we do it a lot still. She has now moved on to more complex ones like bath, up, down, drink.

Also a small routine even for daytime naps can be really important for some kids, same time of day, same room, fan in the background, a book or 2, a specific toy or blanket?

I tried switching my daughter to 1 nap a day and it was a complete and utter failure, so I am continuing with 2 a day for another couple of weeks.

Shanna - posted on 07/26/2010

I agree - it's something hard for a mom (or parent) to admit. I have had my moments, after trying to get my son to go to sleep for the night, after 20-30 minutes of his wailing in my ear, I put him in the crib and sit in the rocker or go to my room and turn up the tv. I'll pick him up again in about 10 minutes but I just can't deal so I zone out. I agree with Nira too, I try not to put myself in bad situations like going out to eat when it's too close to bed time. I find myself feeding him a bunch of crappy foods now, we'll be going thru the store and I'll open a box of crackers just to keep him occupied. He loves yogurt so now I buy a box of go-gurts since it's probably better for him. I didn't want to be that parent but I have to do the grocery shopping at some point and can't put off living our lives because he's in a bad mood.

Nira - posted on 07/26/2010

i'd like to start by saying tnx for bring this up - its one of those things no one likes admitting... even to yourself. As for coping with this frustration - i normally find that if i try and understand why my LO is doing what she does i can handle it better. e.g. if she won't go to sleep and i know she's tired but just wants to see if she can get away with it, i remind myself that as her mom i have to maintain her routine and get her to sleep on time. i have also made it a habit not to plan anything which depends on her naps because it's just extra pressure which makes me get frustrated quickly. If she’s needy and keeps wanting to be picked up and I realize she’s hungry or tired or bored the minute I figure out what it is, it’s much easier to deal with it. hope these little things help you like they do for me. Just remember – you’re only human and you’re being the best mom you can. Good luck.

Tamarra - posted on 07/26/2010

My friend has an awesome blog that she wrote about this! I will semi quote it for you because I believe it to be true also! I am a stay at home mom && my son is a TERROR all day, then my husband comes home [[who isnt his biological father]] && he turns into an ANGEL!
My friend said something along the lines of: a child knows a mother will love them no matter what, but its the people that they do not know that they must win over with charm.
Your kiddo knows that no matter how awful they act, you will be there for them :)
Its hard [[i know]] but if it gets to be too much just walk away.
My son doesnt always want to take a nap, so I put up his baby gate && leave him in his room. His room is super safe && I can hear everything thru the monitor.

Bridget - posted on 07/26/2010

Hi Amy, I know exactly how you feel! My little one goes through fazes where he is an angel for a few days and then a terror for a week! I was finding I was getting really tense and frustrated and ofcourse tired with a lack of sleep and work, etc. I started taking a vitamin B complex tablet and now I seem to be much more relaxed and able to tolerate things even on little sleep! It is so hard to be calm when you are tired and trying to do the right thing (eg. putting them down for sleep, etc) and they resist - but I guess all you can do is realise they aren't doing what they are doing to be malicious - they are just developing their independence and after all playing with mum is much more fun than going to sleep!!

Katerina - posted on 07/25/2010

my daughter is 13 months and yes she is so testing me every day especially with taking naps changing cloths or nappy i use to got very frustrated u know that feeling when u have crying baby the phones go on and the dog starts barking when u just want little pees i have now learned that when i start feeling like that i talk to my self just finish what ever i do with the baby (like put the nappy on)and thinking what nice can i go and do like usually i go for cigaret or sit for minute on garden but definitely i leave the room just for cupel minutes,it really work good luck

Bethany - posted on 07/25/2010

I don't have a solution, but I feel your pain! My daughter listens when her dad says no but laughs at me. She takes wonderful naps for everyone, but me. I am home with her all day, so I am guessing she is just so used to me that she pushes the limits more with me! She has days when she won't nap all day and I find myself telling her in a mean tone that I am not happy with her behavior but that I love her. Usually once I tell her that, I'm a little more calm. Then I try to do something really fun to cheer us both up, like putting on music and dancing! Or walking to McDonalds for an ice cream cone to share. I've also started time-out with her and it's good for me too. When she slaps me in the face, she gets a minute in time out. I put her in the pack n play and walk away for one minute and we both have a minute to cool off. I'll be looking to see what other people suggest because I'm open to suggestions!