How far apart in age are/would you like your children to be?

Nichole - posted on 04/27/2010

I have 3 children. My oldest and youngest daughters are 34 months apart and my youngest daughter and my son are 33 months a part. In some ways it is good that they aren't closer but at the same time my girls, 6 and 3, for a while I thought they would kill each other because they fought so much but they have gotten better in the past few months and they both love to help with their baby brother.

Tina - posted on 04/26/2010

You have all given me wonderful information. Thank you! I think we will wait until the fall when new jobs/money start and then let nature take its course. Who knows?! Maybe I will also be joining the June 2011 group-LOL!!

Shea - posted on 04/25/2010

well. my Riann is 10 months yesterday, and im 9 wks pregnant, so i guess they will be about 17 mos apart. me and my sister are right around that age difference and i couldnt stand her when we were growing up... hopefully that will not be the case!

Jamie - posted on 04/25/2010

My children are 18 month apart. I didnt plan on it that way but, It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. The pregnancy part haveing a little one was normal I just couldnt carry her alot. Then once little brother came home she wanted my attention more than I could give because of having a new baby in the house. Since she was at the stage where she wanted to help me with everything. I put her in charge of getting the diapers and wipes, she picked out his clothes, she held the towel at bathtime, and at feedings she would wipe his mouth and pat him on the back to help me burp him. She kept trying to pick him up so I had to be extra vigilant when she was around him. LOL I bought her a baby doll to carry around with bottles and everything. She still wants to help him do things and he wants to do what she is doing and is currently walking and climbing on things and he is 10 months. She holds his hand while hes walking and when he falls she says" uh oh up bubby ,do gain!"

Bobbi - posted on 04/24/2010

My brother and I are 5 years apart and we are close and enjoy it. We both knew what it was like to just be a baby and what it was like to be an only child. My son is 10 months, and I am thinking about spacing mine out the same way, because well, I dont know if I can handle mine too close. But hey! If you can do it, props to you girl! :-D

Jovan - posted on 04/24/2010

I think it really depends on your situation and your children. I have a 5 yr old, Hannah; a 23 mos old, Natalie and a 10 mos old, Tommy. Hannah gets along great with Tommy right now but seems to pick on Natalie from time to time. It is nice having them farther apart because your attention isn't always divided and let's face it it's easier on the diapering but having them close helps to for things like in the winter when your oldest wants to be outside with you but you have a baby inside or volunteering at school functions but it helps if your husband or mate has a forgiving schedule.

Carmen - posted on 04/24/2010

mine are 1 year and 3 days apart!!!!!
Freddie was born june 9th 2008 by emergency c-section and when i finally realised i was pregnant again at just gone 16weeks we worked out she would be a june baby to! Sicelly was born by planned c-section on june 12th 2009, they wanted to delivery her before Freddie's birthday but i said no we had to wait til just after.
Yes it has been hard and i'm completely knacked but every minute has been has been worth it and considering i wasn't having one wee one let alone two i wouldn't change anything at all and yes i would do it all again.
Good luck with your decision and all the best x

Jean - posted on 04/24/2010

My two are two years apart (one June 21st and the second June 19th!). They get on very well, they love each other to pieces, even though the older one tends to put his baby sister in her place more often than he should. Though, he does call her Honey Bunch, it's very sweet! They do say that after 2, kids are old enough to notice that a new baby is getting more attention than he or she is, and will act up more and fight and argue more than usual. There are studies out there that suggest that the best times to have a second baby is before your first turns 2, or after your first is 5, that way, either your first is so young that they adjust quickly and easily, or your first is old enough to be excited about the prospect of being a big brother or sister and being able to tell all their friends at school.

Elsha - posted on 04/24/2010

My husbamd and I started trying for a second child when our son was 2.We fianally succeeded having our daughter when Billie was 3 1/2.Iam glad they are so far apart in age.He is a very helpful big brother and very protective of his sister.

Jessica - posted on 04/23/2010

My girls are 1 year and 8 days apart. The first 6 months were very hard, but I'm enjoying it now. Both of them are mobile and can play outside this summer. I'm glad I had them so close together. I have a lot of diapers to change but will be using them for a short number of years.

Melany - posted on 04/23/2010

My husband and I both have a 1 year 9 month gap from our oldest sisters and about a 2 year 9 month gap with our younger sisters. We are very happy being so close to our sisters and still are close growing up... The teenage years we both had a fair amount of fights with our sisters but that passes and the closeness returns. We have decided we want the same gap for our children since it worked so well with us. So in 2 months time we start trying for our next baby. We are still in two minds about it due to finances, but these days no one i know is financially secure. You just make it work. Also a little scared of labour and wondering when i'll find any me-time with two. But both our parents survived it so I know we will be fine! Good luck with your decision :)

Renee - posted on 04/22/2010

my son will be 10mths old tomorrow & i am 16wks pregnant with my 2nd (due 6th october).
they will be just under 16mths apart.

Josslyn - posted on 04/22/2010

My hubby and I are planning on a 2 year difference. Fingers crossed things can go as planned.

Christie - posted on 04/22/2010

My boys are 19mths apart I was always told to have them close together so they'll be close when they get older but my oldest has jalousy issues but every older child will my husband stays home and I work so the boys get both of us pretty equally.

Vicki - posted on 04/22/2010

We have a 7 year old son - he'll be 8 in September, we waited a bit and then had 2 years of trouble trying to conceive. Our 1st daughter is now 22 months old, her sister is 10 months (they are exactly 50 weeks apart, to the day) their birthdays are in June. And there is one more on the way. He will arrive in late August. This is it! I am now officially done. I told my husband that I am not coming home from the hospital until he is snipped - it seems like after all the trouble we had getting pregnant all he has to do these days is look at me!

Michele - posted on 04/22/2010

I have five kids. My closest are 21 months and my farthest are 4 1/2 years. My favorite was my two kids that are 2 1/2 years apart. They are close friends - they are only 2 years apart in school, and it was great because my older child was more independent when the next one was born. Just realize that kids get a lot more difficult between 18 months and 2 to 2 1/1 years, so know that your little cutie will be throwing some major temper tantrums all too soon. Do you want to have a new baby then or be pregnant then or still planning? Good luck in your decision - it will all work out - it always does eventually.

Liz - posted on 04/21/2010

Mine are 3 years apart. We started trying when my son was 18 mos but had a couple of miscarriages, so it ended up being a little bit bigger of a gap than I wanted, but I'm glad they're that spaced out now! My son adjusted a lot easier to the new baby since he was old enough to understand things. And he's so cute and protective of his baby sister, and I don't think it would have been that way if he was younger. We might try for another one, but we're going to wait till the baby is at least 2 to get started. It's definitely easier to take care of a newborn if your older kids are more independent.

Angie - posted on 04/20/2010

I say to go with your heart - if you are aching to have another baby, and your husband is on board too, then it's the right time. If you have doubt, then perhaps waiting until Mackenizie is over 3, as other readers have said, because there is definitely evidence that it is easier for the older child to adjust to competition in the house when they are older. And having a young toddler when pregnant doesn't sound like the easiest.
I have a slightly different issue - I am 39 and my baby is 10 months old - we also wanted more than one, but I don't feel physically or emotionally ready for another pregnancy or infant, especially since I know that Tommy will cope better when he is older than 3 (I missed the first window of opportunity for easier adjustment - they say that the best time for the first child to get a sibling is when they are younger than 18 months or older than 3 years. Tommy is 10 months, so even if I fell preggo now, he'd be in the difficult window). The problem is of course, my biological clock is ticking very loudly. But, since my heart isn't there, I'm going to wait, and if Tommy is to be our only gift, then I am grateful for that.
Good luck with the decisions!

Mellissa - posted on 04/20/2010

My daughter is also 10 months old and my husband and I are also wanting another child. We have decided that the closer the better !!! We are probablly going to plan on being pregnant in the next few months. I think that you are right about being closer in age and having a closer relationship because of it. Your body is now ready, as my doctor told me that you should wait about 6-8 months for your body to recover its iron, calcium ect.. I think that it also makes it easier as far as preparing and buying diapers ect...

Mellissa

Steph - posted on 04/20/2010

My husb has siblings at every distance you can think of while my brother and I are a whole 5yrs apart. We're more like friends than relatives. I found that 2yrs was a nice buffer. Between each of our 3 kids we have a separation of 2 yrs and 2 mos. Actually, if I hadn't forced an induction for the sake of my hips w/ baby#3 they'd all be 2yrs, 2mos and 2days apart. Now that's good planning! lol

Ana Maria Jo - posted on 04/20/2010

well my two girls are 19 months apart and its nice to see them get along well with each other, my 10 month old loves her big sis and tries to do what she does.

Lisa - posted on 04/20/2010

my 2 are 15 months apart. It is hard work when they are little but very rewarding now as Mackenzie is 10 months and Freya is 2yrs old. They are now starting to play together and the smiles when they she each are just great.

Trevetta - posted on 04/19/2010

Well my kids are 3 years apart and they get along good for right now. My little girl just made 4 on the 8th of this month and my little boy will be 1 on june 17th. I have a brother and a sister. My brother and i are 14 months apart and we went everywhere togehter when we were younger. My sister and I are 3 years apart and sometimes we bump heads. But like you said that your husband and yourself are witching job so then i would wait until yall are settle into that new job because I think it would be to much with the new job and a new baby on the way. The only thing that I can do is give my opinion. If you think or know that yall can handle it then go for it.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2010

I wanted ours to be 2 years apart - our daughter will be one on June 7th, and in order for that to happen I would have to get pregnant in September (which is when we are getting married, and I don't want to be pregnant for our wedding or honeymoon!) Plus my fiance isn't going to be done school until April 2011, so I think we are going to have to hold off a little bit longer than I wanted.

Anita - posted on 04/19/2010

Rozess.... sorry to hijack this thread but this is the first time I have 'met' someone else with their babies only 10 months apart. My two are also 10 months apart. I will message you....

Anita - posted on 04/19/2010

Laura.....yes, the length of labour is dramatically reduced but not sure of the pain lol. I gave birth to my second child only 10 months after giving birth to my first, so Joe was only 10 months old when Milla was born. My waters broke at 2am in the morning and I had my daughter at about 6am, whereas with my firstborn I laboured for a whole day nearly. Everyone seems convinced that having them close together in age is easy, but it wasn't in my case. I think if someone told me that is was going to be hard then I would have been more prepared for it. My daughter is now 10 months and my son is now 20 months and it has only just started getting easy now.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2010

My son is 10 months now, and I am 6.5 months pregnant. So they'll be about 14 months apart. I am very excited. I know it'll be a whole lot of work, but I have friends and family who had their kids close and they are happy they did when the kids got older. Depending on if we have another really well behaved baby this time, we are considering doing it again.

I have also heard that having the babies close can reduce the length and pain of labour. At least this is what I've convinced myself of...haha!

Shelly - posted on 04/18/2010

My 2 boys were 13 1/2 months. I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was hard because I was a single mom from the get go, & mine didn't do terrible 2's they did the fearsome 4's, but I'm glad they were so close. The first couple of years are hard! But I'm glad they happened when they did.

Anita - posted on 04/18/2010

My two children are 10 months apart, I fell pregnant just 4 weeks after giving birth to my oldest. I am struggling BIG time and am on the verge of a breakdown. It is NOT easy having them close together.
I would wait until the oldest is at least 3 or 4 years old before having another one.
My 2 are 10 months are 20 months and they fight every day and try to hurt each other. They also don't want to 'share' so most days I have them both hanging off my hip. People have said it's easier to have them close together but it is a load of pigwash. My brother and I are 12 years apart and we were always close (& never fought once!).

Andrea - posted on 04/16/2010

My son, Tiras, will be 14-1/2 months old when my second child is born in September. We didn't really plan this second pregnancy, but I'm glad that our children will be close in age. We're really excited for the new baby, and now that I'm starting to show, we're trying to get Tiras to understand that there's a baby in Mama's belly. He's a little too young to comprehend it, but he likes to pat my belly and lay his head on it. It's really adorable.

Shelly - posted on 04/16/2010

I have kids at both ends of the spectrum... my oldest are 15 1/2, 16 1/2, & 18 years old, but my youngest is just 9 months. Both as a parent is great. Having 2 close together works great because they can share all the same toys, clothes, & potty training, but having them far apart, is also great because they can help keep an eye on the little one.

Amanda - posted on 04/16/2010

before I got pregnant with our daughter I always said I wanted 4 kids, and would like to have them about 2yrs apart. WELL now that we have our daughter(she was a pleasant surprise) I think I only want 2 kids...MAYBE 3 at the most. And I dont want #2 until our daughter is about 4, maybe even 5. I'd like her to be in school, and by then me and my bf will be in a better financial place and hopefully in a bigger house. Then if we decide on a # 3, I'm thinking I'd like that one to be about 2-3yrs after # 2. I'm 23 now, and I'd like to be done having kids by the time I'm 32.

Christina - posted on 04/16/2010

my oldest boy turned 3 in january & my youngest is getting ready to turn 10 months but they get along so well they play together all day my oldest loves havin his younger brother but thats now cause there lil

Karen - posted on 04/16/2010

Hi ya, My daughter Kiara is 10 Months old, I'm expecting again in 9wks time. My 3rd child (little Boy). I'm currently 31wks preggers, this came with a shock, I was on the mini pill aswell. This is a blessing in disguise, me & my partner are so excited, a girl & a boy a year apart exactly! It was ment to be I say :-). I also have a 5yr old boy from a previous relationship, he luvs his lil sister and is such a helper with her. I say any gap is a good gap. At least I am still in baby mode and it won't seem such a shock to my system. :-)

Jessica - posted on 04/15/2010

I have always wanted my kids to be at least 2 yrs apart. I would like the older one to be as close to potty training as possible! I'm the youngest and my oldest sibling was 17 when I was born. The next one of from me was 4 (a boy). We got a long great, but I always wished I had a sibling closer to my age. I grew up a tomboy and very tough though, which I think prepared me for the "real" world!
My daughter is 10 mos old now. It took us a year and a half to get pregnant with her (miscarried twins). We have decided to start trying when she is 1. That way if we get preg right away then they're 21 mos apart and they will still be in the same season. Providing #2 is a girl it will keep me from having to buy all new clothes and shoes, lol.

Tracy - posted on 04/15/2010

I planned on having my second baby when my first was 2ish, but ran into fertility problems and it took a while to get there. They are 31/2 years apart and actually...it's GREAT!!! My daughter was potty trained, self-dressing, played well alone, had started some nursery school so it ended up being perfect and she LOVES being a big sister:) And very helpful too;)

Rozess - posted on 04/15/2010

my son's would be 10 months apart. my oldest just turned 10 months on the 14th and im due this month on the 22nd with my child, it was unplanned but im happy i didnt leave them years apart, atleast they can grow up together and they will be the same age for a month and a bit hehe

Megan - posted on 04/15/2010

I want mine 3 years apart so there is less fighting and competition, and so I can care for 1 baby at a time. I also want my older son to get some undivided attention in his first 3 years. The research (Parents Magazine) says that children are more secure with themselves when you wait until they are 3 before your next baby. One child in diapers and 1 helper sounds good to me! They do develop a closer bond when they are closer in age. You cannot deny that! Do some research about the pros and cons to figure out what you value and find most important. Good luck!

Whitney - posted on 04/15/2010

My kids are 2 yrs and 20 days apart.. The hardest part about having them that close together was being pregnant while my daughter was potty training, and the day to day life with a young toddler. It was exhausting, and my second pregnancy was a lot harder on my body then the first. I think if I'd waited another 6 months it would have made it a lot easier on my body, but my 2 kids are so close now, and love to play together. I think you should think about how you being pregnant will change your interaction with your older child, and if you think you can handle it, it's great having kids close together because they can entertain each other and play together.

Catherine - posted on 04/14/2010

mine are 13 months apart now noah jae turns 2 in may and robert caleb turns 1 in june both are teething i did wanted a girl for my second child but never mind hopefully next time it might be a girl

Katie - posted on 04/14/2010

Mine will be about 13 months apart

Melanie - posted on 04/14/2010

My lo just turned 10 months too. I want to get pregnant again this fall so that they are 2 years (give or take a month) apart. I want the kids to be close enough in age so that they can be friends and playmates. Plus, I want to get all the teething, sleepless nights, and diapering over with sooner rather than later.

Meredith - posted on 04/14/2010

My first two are 17 months apart and then 22 months between Grace and Evie. Close age gap definitely has its challenges, but so many perks, too. Joy and Grace already play like best friends. That is an advantage that should not be overlooked or downplayed. Growing up, I was much younger than my siblings. I did not have a close relationship with them until almost adulthood. I'm glad my kids will (hopefully) will be close friends.

Michelle - posted on 04/14/2010

Hi Tina,

I have two children, my youngest is 10 months and my oldest is 6 years. Me and my fiance' were thinking just like you and your husband in terms of financial stability which is the reasoning for that six year gap. I must say so far I am happy that we made the decision to wait, because our oldest child is now in school, so that helps cut back on childccare expenses. He also likes helping out and playing his role as a big brother, which kind of helps him learn responsibility. It also gives us the opportunity to experience and enjoy the developmental milestones of our new baby, and since my son is so curious about when he was a baby, he gets to see it first hand. I hope this helps and I wish you well.

Kylie - posted on 04/14/2010

My fiance wants another one now but I don't. My daughter is 10 months tomorrow, I want to wait atleast till she's 18 months/2 years, I won't have to change two babies bums then and be so tired all the time!

Keeshea - posted on 04/13/2010

We are thinking between 18-24 months. My son will be 10 months on Friday. We are not actively trying yet but if it happens - it happens.

Shannon - posted on 04/13/2010

My first 2 are 18 months apart, but Lukas is (almost exactly) 5 years younger than Connor.

Amanda - posted on 04/13/2010

My girls are...
Kristin-19 years
Hannah-6 years
Kaidyn-4 years
Allyson-9 mths

A - posted on 04/12/2010

I am currently pregnant, 14 weeks, and my daughter turned 9 months old on the 28th of march. My husband and I weren't trying, but weren't preventing it either. We wanted out kids no more than 2 years apart. We are hoping for a boy this time. I just think you should try when you feel you are ready emotionally and financially.

Emma - posted on 04/12/2010

Our first child Eva was nearly two when we had our second child Eloise. Eloise was unplanned and we had wanted to leave it a bit longer and not start trying until after Eva was two, but life had other plans!!! Ironically Eva was orginally due on 28th June 2007 and Eloise was due on 27th June two years later, spooky!!! Eloise is besotted with her older sister, and Eva is always trying to HELP us with Eloise, I reckon they'll be very close, however forewarned is forearmed, when really close siblings disagree you'd better duck!!! I say go with your what your heart tells you, If you work out on paper when you'll be able to afford another child/car/house etc, you'll never be able to!!!