next child

RoDonna - posted on 09/07/2010 ( 47 moms have responded )

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is anyone else thinking of having their next baby? My mom asked me yesterday when I was going to start trying for my girl, she said the baby is old enough now. I was like he isn't even two yet.

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Anita - posted on 10/02/2010

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I fell pregnant again when my oldest was only 4 weeks old and I DON'T recommend it lol. THey are 10 months apart and are now 1 (14 months and 24 months). I have suffered nervous breakdowns and complete exhaustion. They never slept at the same time (actually my eldest hardly slept at all!), ate different foods up until about 4 months ago. Now they constantly fight and bite each other. I think about 3 years is a perfect age gap.

Kylie - posted on 09/30/2010

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it can be a tricky one and as the mummy it fels like your first isnt old enough yet! I am pregnant with our second I am 17 weeks and my daughter is 15months old so there will be a 21month gap. It is whatever feels right for you and what works for you and your family regardsless of what family and friends think xx

Karen - posted on 09/30/2010

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Hi ya, My daughter Kiara was born June 2nd 2009 & I had a baby boy Tyson June 4th 2010, So it was almost exactly a year apart. They are fantasic together, lots of hugs and kisses from Kiara to her brother. It's been a blessing having them so close. I do also have a 5yr old which helps alot. It's great for another baby at any stage, they are a blessing...

Kathy - posted on 09/25/2010

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I am seven months pregnant with our second child and our son is 16 months old. I dont think its too early to start thinking about another kid but thats how we decided our life should be. Get the formula and diapers outta the way and have time for fun stuff later, like Disney World lol.

Brenynn - posted on 09/24/2010

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oh man, it must be hard with parent already asking lol. but im not ready for my next yet. im only 21, and im just enjoying watching my first grow and seeing what all she does. if your not ready then dont, since it is ultimately up to you. people liketo have them close together so they grow up together, but im not planning on my next until mine is at least potty trained. changing her is enough for me! lol.

Nikki - posted on 09/23/2010

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we are 28 weeks preg with number 2, or little boy will be 18 months when bub number two arrives

Maggie - posted on 09/21/2010

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we are thinking about number two and have stopped protecting but I am SO inlove with DS that I cannot imagine having any love left in my heart for another. We are going to let nature decide when it is right for us to have another!! Good luck on the decision making!!

Staci - posted on 09/21/2010

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My husband and I are going to start trying in Feb, our daughter will be 20 months old then. My brothers and I are very close in age and I felt like I was constantly being referred to as Dusty or Tim's little sister instead of being an individual...and it bothered me. We fought alot too when we were younger. I wanted to give my kids enough time in between to be individuals and not have to follow in their older sibling's footsteps!

Amy - posted on 09/21/2010

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Hello,

The age gap between mine is just short of four years ( my daughter was born in the June and my son turned 4 in August). I've found this gap to be brilliant as my son had already been at nursery school for a whole year and then was going into reception the september after she was born, he's independant enough to be at school and very helpful when he's at home. I would love this age gap between all my children and I would like four in total, but that means i'll be a none to young 36ish when i'm preggers with my last!!

Marissa - posted on 09/21/2010

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I''ve been trying since my son turned 1yr old, I worked out that by time the next one was born hed be around two,but so far...he will be over two by time the next one comes....baby not happening.

Erica - posted on 09/20/2010

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I got pregnant a couple months after my daughter was born! My daughter is 15 months and my son is eleven weeks! It's great!

Paige - posted on 09/20/2010

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Wow, it is nice to know that others have the same goals of when to try for the next baby. Chris and I have been talking about trying for the second one starting January so we would want Ava to have a sibling close to her age. I am very close to my sisters (3 years and 7 years apart) but Chris isnt close to his sister (6 years apart). I dont want that to happent to Ava.

@RoDonna- do whatever you feel that would be best for you and your family. Dont rush just because of what someone else says. :)

Clare - posted on 09/19/2010

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I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with my second child, my little boy is currently 15 months old. It wasn't exactly planned but wasn't prevented either. Either way there are pros and cons of having kids close together and also pros and cons to having them with a gap, so anytime is a good time really!!

Audree - posted on 09/17/2010

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I am about to have my next baby & my son is 15 months old. We found out we were pregnant again when he was 7 months. My daughter is due October 12th, so they will be 16 months apart. She wasn't planned but we can't wait to have her here! I also agree that it works different for every family.

Monica - posted on 09/17/2010

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My son is 15months and as far as having a second I would like to have one once my little guy is either almost or has started school, so when hes 3-4 years old. Alot of people tell me its to far, some tell me its to close, I think its just right, the older one will want to help and at 3-4 he will be old enough to help and not just be in the way while helping. He will be in school so it will give me alone time with the new baby, plus time with both of them. I also am thinking financially, my son was very unexpected and we were not prepared and we are just now starting to get back on our feet. I would like to be able to continue paying my bills and not having that added stress when a second baby comes along. But make sure to talk to your spouse, keep the lines of communication open and if you feel you are ready go for it, if not dont... Dont let other people pressure you into it.

Tiffany - posted on 09/16/2010

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As I was, at most, 2 years apart from both my sisters I've always wanted all my kids to be that close in age. I LOVED it and feel we are so close because of it. I always planned on having my children close together. However things changed, I unexpectedly got pregnant with my first child (with my husband) and now that I actually experienced pregnancy I realized I do NOT enjoy it. For one, I am not mentally ready for another child (my son is 14 months) and two, we are not financially where we want to be either. Another thing to think about is childcare. It's just that much more expensive with two than it is with one.
This decision is solely up to you though and if you want baby #2 then I think you should have baby #2 (or is it 3 for you? wasn't sure)! Either way though, that has to be up to you=)

Janessa - posted on 09/16/2010

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You do what you feel is best for you and your family. Don't let anyone else pressure you into anything. I have to say with us we have our kids pretty close together, we have 3 and we are actually expecting our fourth, this is the longest we've made it. Our 3rd is the 15 month old. For us this works and is just fine, but just like we don't want anyone to judge us for having so many, no one should make you feel guilty if you want to wait. It is a very personal thing. You and your husband and only you two know what is best for your situation.

Hannah - posted on 09/16/2010

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I think to do what's right for you is the most important thing. For me, I was 29 when pregnant with my first, and I tried straight away for the second! For me, I want my kids close together so that they are close, but also, I don't really want to be packing when I'm past 35 so for me I feel like I have to get on it like straight away! I also wanted 5, but that's a lot to fit in in the next 4 years so I'm thinking I might not be able to fulfil my ambition to have 5 which is a shame. So my little girl will be 17months when my son is born and I'm happy with that! Here's hoping the next one's just as quick ;oD lol x x Good luck with the brood x x x

Bethany - posted on 09/15/2010

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I have an almost 16 month old, and I'm 20 weeks pregnant with another boy! :) I was definitely ready to have another one, though! :D

Danielle - posted on 09/15/2010

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Had this conversation with my husband this week. I want to wait till my daughter is 3 before we start trying, my husband wanted to try again when she was 2... so compromise is 2.5!

He is worried we will have a hard time getting pregnant with our second like some friends of ours have and then we would be ancient before we have a third kid. I am worried that like my daughter I will get pregnant the second I'm not on birth control, and the kids will end up too close together! Also I am not as concerned about cramming in 3 kids unless it really feels right at the time.

Ive read a book on birth order and while sibling rivalry is going to happen no matter what it can be worse for siblings of the same gender born back to back (within 2 years), just like me and my sister :)

Marina - posted on 09/14/2010

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I found out last week I'm pregnant with #3. My first and second sons are 2 years 2months apart and my 2nd son and 3rd child will be 1 year 11 months apart. I'm very happy with this because my 2 boys are already great buddies and have so much fun and I already have all the gear, baby proofing done, and the mental set of it. People I know who wait longer do fine as well but they have to get back into the mindset of having tiny children when they have another. I'm already there. You don't sound like youre ready though so I wouldn't worry what anyone else thinks about it. You're the one who will be doing the work(and getting the slobbery smiles too) you've got to be ready =)

Jodie - posted on 09/14/2010

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I agree with everyone's comments from both sides. Its a personal choice, and no one should make you feel like you HAVE to try or even make you question if you want to. I knew myself that i wanted to have my lil ones close in age. My son was 13months when i fell pregnant again (Im Due in April) and i was happy with that as it was Our choice. If u want 1-5 years between your children then that is what you should do, you know your body/children and what you can cope with, having children so close it tough, you have double of everything, so while i am excited that I will have what i want, i know its gonna be tough:) Good Luck to all :)

Ashley - posted on 09/14/2010

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My daughter is 15 months and I am really enjoying the routine that we have in place, and our family of 3. My hubby and I have discussed having another child in the future, but thankfully we are on the same page about putting it off for a while. We agree that we would like to give our complete focus to our DD for now. We really enjoy our time with her and just letting her enjoy her “babydom!” I’m sure we’ll revisit the subject in a year or so...
However, I totally understand about other people (especially family) bringing up or pushing the subject! Which I don’t quit understand considering they will not be around for the night feedings, poopie diapers, runny noses, or financial support! I know most family members and friends have good intentions at heart, but sometimes they tend to be a little blinded by baby fever. Babies are awesome, and I love mine to death, but it’s much different when there are no “givesies-backsies”...the phrase “it’s hard work” comes to mind, lol! You definitely have to do what’s feels right for you and your household!

Best wishes, RoDonna

Charlene - posted on 09/14/2010

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I'm 4 months along with #2 but I've always wanted my kids super close together

Bathobile - posted on 09/14/2010

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I personally wanted one baby and now I missed 2 periods so I'm very worried and scared to check. But if there is a baby then I'll expert but that wasn't in my plains. So it's a personal chose the year in between you want with your babies some prefer two years gab some one or three it depends

Nora - posted on 09/13/2010

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I've already had another baby, there is one year and one day between them.....it was difficult at first but once they got into the same routine it was easier

Trisha - posted on 09/12/2010

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my husband ad i are trying for our next starting in december. Our daughter will be 18 months by then. We cant start sooner and hope it doesnt take too long to get pregnant either because we are trying to work it around our army life and will mostly likely be PCSing next year but waiting on orders still and my husband leaves January for school. I'm hoping we get pregnant right away in december but of course any time is good. We are preventing it tho until then.

Amanda - posted on 09/12/2010

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I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with my next one. My son will be 16 months when my daughter is born. we deffinatley weren't planning but also weren't preventing, we knew we wanted another one and just let nature take it's course. But we deffinatley are done after this:)

Sara - posted on 09/12/2010

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We've already discussed this a couple months ago. Felt we were ready for another, so they were still close in age. We're currently 19 weeks pregnant with our second boy now (found out the sex last Friday). Dominick will be about 20 months when Dakoda is born. All depends on the feelings of the parents I suppose.

Heather - posted on 09/12/2010

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Hi everyone :) My daughter a year and 8 months when we got pregnant with our 2nd who is a little boy and he was born a month early for being exactly 2 1/2 years apart from my daughter. Now they are 3 years/8 months and 15 months and I love their ages. They play together all the time and just have a really good relationship! It's so sweet seeing them give each other kisses :) My daughter started Pre-K, so I get some one-on-one time with my son as well. For now, I have my hands pretty full, but if I do have any more, I want to wait until they are both in school so I can get some "me" time!!

Tracy - posted on 09/11/2010

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I am currently 3 months pregnant with my 3rd. My oldest is 7 years my youngest is 14 and half months. Huge gap and they are both boys. This baby will be born when my youngest is 1 year 9 months so they will be close in age, We are hoping for a girl!!

Kitti - posted on 09/11/2010

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My oldest is going to be 5 and my youngest is a little over a year. I dont want the next baby and my youngest nearly 4 years apart I would like sooner but my husband and I are not able to get pregnant quickly so it is kind of a month to month thing. I will say we have been trying since he was 4 months old knowing it takes a while for us.

Cheryl - posted on 09/11/2010

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We are thinking about trying for #2 when my daughter is 18 months (around X-mas time) that way they will be a little more then 2 years apart. I like the 2-3 years apart thing. My sister and I were almost 4 years apart and never got along until we weren't living together. My brother and I were 18 months apart and got along really well.

Raisa - posted on 09/08/2010

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i really love to have another child ofcourse a boy to pair but not so soon maybe in 5 years time when im settle in my own aprtment and have a better income.but if ever whats not planned happen i will accept if its not 5 years yet.

Nikki - posted on 09/08/2010

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I went off the pill in May, not really trying but hoping, I have just gone back to work and found out I mist work 13 weeks before I fall pregnant otherwise I wont qualify for benefits when I take my mat leave, which is extremely necessary if im planning on staying at home with 2 kids, so looks like we have to hold off to Dec but I really want them close in age and its already 5 months since no pill... now we have we stop and then star again and hopefully get prego asap after that

Amanda - posted on 09/07/2010

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This has been the discussion in my house for the past 3 months! I would like to start trying in a month or two, but my husband isn't quite to sure. (he's in medical school-so that takes up all his time)
But I think its a very personal decision. My thought are that I want my kids about 21/2 years apart. I know it will be more difficult have two young kids in the house at the same time, but after a year or two they will be able to participate in the same activities for the rest of their childhood.
I also dont want to be having kids for the next decade (we want 3)
Something else to consider is if you want your kids in college at the same time or space it out so it is financially easier.
I hope this helps!!!

Lady Heather - posted on 09/07/2010

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We just started up now. I wanted to wait until my sister's wedding was done because I'm not allowed to fly while pregnant due to complications. Hopefully it'll happen soon! We wanted a 2-3 year age gap. I don't think that's for everyone though. I know other people who waited longer and enjoyed having a more "helpful" older sibling.

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lol Beth- I dont think it's a bad choice if someone wants to wait awhile! It's whatever works for them! I know for myself I dont want to have the guilt of not being able to spend as much time with the new one as I did the older, so if he's starting school, even half days, he can spend half the day playing with his new sibling, and half the day doing big kid stuff like learning to share!

Beth - posted on 09/07/2010

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Thanks for this discussion!! I've been talking to my hubby about this for awhile now...the two of us would love to wait til Aiden is at least 3 or so to start trying again...but then EVERYONE else said thats way too much of a gap. The way I see it is then my first born is old enough and independant enough to do his own thing and mature enough to understand about being gentle around a baby and to understand that we love him just as much as the second...i feel this early on he doesn't understand that and needs lots of attention and he might feel neglected if we have a new baby around!

Catherine - Glad that I'm not the only one who wants to wait a bit, it makes me feel like I'm not making a bad decision! :)

RoDonna - posted on 09/07/2010

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@Amanda Gould You are right it is always someone else who gets you to thinking about it.

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I know for myself, I want to wait until my first is in preschool so that I can spend some quality time with the new little one, without feeling like I'm neglecting my oldest! For my family, I'm 16months younger than my older bro, 4 years older than the next, 21 years older than my next brother and 24 years older than the last lol! And we're all super close and love eachother! It all depends on when you feel comfortable. I know for me and my family, the age difference didn't make a difference in our relationships.

Amanda - posted on 09/07/2010

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It always seems to be someone else who gets you thinking though isn't it? Personally I think between 2 and 3 years is a good gap. I have been asked if I'm having anymore, and I said ask me around Christmas time, cos that's when my 2nd will be 16 months :)

RoDonna - posted on 09/07/2010

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Well, my first two are 12 years apart so I definitely do not want them that far apart. I want another but as far as the timing haven't determined that yet lol wasn't on my mind. thanks for the input

Amanda - posted on 09/07/2010

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I fell pregnant again when my daughter was 16 months old. Not exactly what I had planned, although we were going to start trying for another in the coming months. Have you discussed it with other half? Are YOU comfortable with having another baby yet? It all depends on how much of a gap you want to have between your children. Some say too close isn't good, other say too far apart isn't good, but ultimately it is your choice. By the time my 2nd was born, my 1st was just over 2, which is roughly how far apart I wanted them anyway. Hope this is a help to you. Take care xxx

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