Megan - posted on 06/14/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )
My boyfriend and I just celebrated our son's 1st birthday. It was a wonderful day even though the weather did not cooperate. Overall, though, are relationship is far from good. For a long time (probably at LEAST the last 6 months) I feel like we are roommates, and I am the roommate he wishes would just leave already. We weren't dating very long at all before we got pregnant, so I understand that it makes it more difficult to know if we belong together. We both want it to work, but so far it isn't. He never wants to talk about it, and I don't know how to make things better- or if I even should. I will want to break things off sometimes- more for his benefit than mine. I still love him to death, but I don't feel like he feels the same- but then I look at our son, and I picture driving him over here to pick him up or drop him off for the weekend, and I just break down. I am so confused as to what to do. I don't know if my boyfriend wants to work things out, and if he says he does- things get better for a couple days and then it is back to normal. I have brought this up with him once or twice since our son was born, and we are good for a while, and then it is back to our normal ways. We don't argue- ever. I know I make him mad at times, but he says I don't. He wants zero confrontation, and I can't even count the number of times in the past couple months where the only words spoken between us are "goodnight"
I tell him I love him at least once a day, usually he says it back, but just once I'd like to hear it from him first. I don't feel like he says it because he means it, but just to shut me up. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend really is a wonderful guy, and so nice. He would do anything for his son, and he treats me very well. But I think that may be part of the problem- he is too nice and does not want confrontation. He wants it to work badly enough that he just keeps his mouth shut- all the time.
I don't know what to do. He is definitely the breadwinner- so it would be really tough to move out on my own- and I know there are a lot of resources for single mom's out there, but it's scary. I love where we live, I love just about everything- I just do NOT know how to get us back to being us. I am terrified of being a single mom. I know it's not the worst thing in the world, but I am just terrified to not have him around. Our relationship is falling apart at the seams and I don't know what to do about it. Do I fight for it, or do I just give it up already??? Please help!!!