sudden constant whining in my 17 month old

Suzanne - posted on 11/29/2010 ( 22 moms have responded )

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my son has hardly ever cried, especially for no apparent reason. but for the last week or so, he seems to just want to whine and cry about every little thing, like he gets frustrated about not being able to do something. when before he would just take the time and curiosity to figure it out. maybe its attention? but if you try to help him he gets more mad . very frustrating for me.anyone else with a 17 month old having this problem?

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Megan - posted on 11/30/2010

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It must be the age because my 17mo daughter has been acting the same way. She grabs my hand and drags me all over the house looking for something, but I'm not sure that she even knows what she's looking for. She looks through the refrigerator and snack cabinet and never finds what she's looking for. She throws a tantrum over everything! And if she doesn't get her way...look out!! It's like she's a completely different child. Terrible Twos, here we come!

Kathleen - posted on 02/08/2011

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My pediatrician says that the teen months ARE the terrible two's and that this behavior should be pretty much done with by the time they're two. She said this is a good time for "active ignoring" when they throw fits. Don't "reward" the behavior by trying to distract, etc, but instead, just calmly go about your business and then once they've calmed down, ask if they're ready to "try again." And yes, I have found that remaining calm is crucial to a good outcome because if I lose it, my 20-month old's fit just multiplies in intensity and then I'm just showing him how not to handle frustration. Good luck!

Vicky - posted on 12/18/2010

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After reading all the posts..I agree...keeping your calm is key. But I also put a stop to the whining. I tell my son to go sit in his "time out" chair. He says "no" so I tell him to stop crying and he does. I might have to do it many times a day but it works instantly. Maybe not for everyone, I'm pretty strict about having a whining baby. Its not gonna happen. So for anyone who is the opposite...having patience is key. And just remember....everything is a phase and passes.

[deleted account]

Unless there are special circumstances, this is really a normal developmental stage in our kids! My son is getting close to 18months now, but from about 16-17 months there was a lot of things that he would freak out about, like if I tried to help him feed himself, or didn't let him put on his own boots etc. They're so observant and want to do things on their own so badly, that for the most part with my son at least, it was the frustration of not being able to do things at the rate his brain thought he should be able too! He saw how it was done.. he knew how he could do it.. so why is it so hard?! lol.. He's getting much better, puts on his own boots, feeds himself his yogurt without getting it everywhere etc. Once their dexterity develops, and their language skills get better, then we'll all be able to breathe a sigh of relief!

Suzanne - posted on 12/01/2010

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ok. thanks gals, i think he may be feeding off of my stress, like he can tell if im not relaxed. yes he steps on my toes and looks up at me and whines bouncing up and down to see if i will pick him up. im thinking this is a critical testing time that lays out wether or not you will give in in the future.hmmmm...

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my daughter started to dot this a few months ago as well. i think she was struggling to have more independence. so i would give her verbal instructions from a far to "help" her do the things she could do safely ( i would say why don't you try this....) and i would simply tell her she needed my help to do thing she just was not allowed to do on her own. if she threw a fit then she threw a fit but in the end she received my help and we both kissed and made up :)

Caitlin - posted on 12/15/2010

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I sya it's the terrible 2's. My daughter is 18 months and it started around 14 months when she could walk. Even her pediatrician has said it's terrible 2's.

Pamela - posted on 12/13/2010

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The biggest advice I can give you, (my daughter has been doing it for months) is to remain calm. My daughters whinning and fits get so much worse when I get upset. By remaining calm we are being great examples of how to handle anger, frustrations, etc. It is HARD!

Natisha - posted on 12/12/2010

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Yes. My 17 month was doing this and I checked her mouth and found that her molars and incisors are coming in. So I give her the teething tablets for really severe days.

Justina - posted on 12/12/2010

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my 18 month old started the same thing a couple weeks ago, its the age! Just stay calm and help him learn to take his time and relax.. and dont reward with the attention he wants when hes being "bad"

Brittany - posted on 12/12/2010

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He is a toddler. It's what they do. Your son is at an age where he is able to understand most of the whats going on around him but lacks the communication skills to explain what he wants or his questions. If you know what the problem is try to use words he can understand to explain it to him.

I guess an example would be my 18 mo son wanted to play with his grandma but she has a flu and was trying to rest. I had to use words like Nana has an "ouchie" and she's going "night-night" because he doesn't understand the concept of being "sick" or "resting"

Kristine - posted on 12/10/2010

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Same with my daughter! Maybe they are teething & maybe they are just upset we can't understand them yet!

Kenni - posted on 12/08/2010

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YES!!!! I thought mine was the only one! I just chalked it up to teething but idk he's been such a cry baby lately!

Tenelle - posted on 12/06/2010

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Hi Ladies, I can definately relate with you here. My 17 month old went thru this same thing a month ago, we had recently moved and I had put it down to that but after a while I thought we both can't keep going on like this so I googled it.
We had the same experiences that you are all having. If I said no he would scream as if he'd jammed his finger in the door or if I tried to feed him the same thing.
So I jumped on google and typed in 16 month old boy screaming etc.
It came up with some good posts from "what is a tantrum" to "Coping with frustration" mostly from the baby centre website.
http://www.babycenter.com.au/toddler/pen...
here is a link just for example. I found this really helpful esp for me also cause I was getting more and more anxious as the screaming continued.
When he did scream I would get down on his level and gently hold on to his arms or hands and say "look at mummy, breathe, now use your words and tell mummy what is wrong"
Not that he can tell me exactly what is wrong but I'd ask some questions and give him the opportunity to say yes after each one, to try and get to the bottom of his frustration. Seems to have worked for me as we're getting back into our little pattern again and into another good phase (as they seem to go in and out of).
Also I have given him the option to choose (mainly only 2 options) and use his independance to make decisions on what he wants to do/wear/eat etc and the dreaded eating and making a mess but I guess he's not gonna learn any other way and just means that I clean up for a couple extra months before he gets the hang of it.
Another thing I am experiencing also at this time is the seperation anxiety. After our little man not having this issue before and happy to go here and there with other people he hates it when we leave and we get a little upset boy. This is my current hurdle.
Good luck, hope this helps :-)

Miranda - posted on 12/06/2010

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omg yes! everyday and every hour..unless he's watching a dvd or napping. but when he's not interested with either one he's back to it! idk what to do with him. and it doesnt help that we moved into a hotel room for a few weeks out of our apt., bc we have to travel with my husbands/his dads job. I just read some of the posts and im guessing it's a normal thing for their age..which sucks..bc it feels like it's never going to end. lol..i hope so soon for me and all the rest of you! I know how fustrating it is.

Bridget - posted on 12/05/2010

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Hi Suzanne, yep my almost 18 month old boy has been whining and getting extremely frustrated for a while now. I think that getting his canines (or eye teeth) though have a lot to do with it - he is a dreadful teether although I have been told that canines can be awful for all bubs (good or bad teethers). I'm used to the tantrums now and you just have to remain calm and talk calmly and they quieten down otherwise leave the room and without the attention it tends to finish pretty quickly!
It's sooooo good to know that others are going through this exact same thing and that it isn't just my little man!!

Samantha - posted on 12/04/2010

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Wow! My daughter is also 17months old and is doing the exact same thing.. It seems like all she ever does is whine..over absolutly nothing.. It's really hard to deal with some days.. She never used to have that attitude.. I guess it's just a stage and we'll all have to wait it out! haha Nice to see we're all kinda in the same boat though!

Lady Heather - posted on 11/30/2010

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YES.

I think this is just normal. About 80% of the day is filled with whining and "Noooooooo!"

I just try to keep my cool and if she doesn't want my help I just slowly back away. Ahahaha.

Margaret-Ann - posted on 11/30/2010

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My daughter is doing the same constantly winging, and wanting picked up, she wants to do things by herself but gets really upset when she can't. I thought it was because of the operations and cast that she's had to put up with (she was born with a dislocated hip, so needed 2 operations and to be in a cast for 5 months-see my group, mum's with childern with developmental dysplacia of the hip-DDH for more info) but it seems many more mum's are going through the same. How are you dealing with this? Do you pick them up and give hugs or do you ignore the tantrums?

CHERYL - posted on 11/30/2010

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HI my son has become like this too its sooo hard.esp when he is sitting in his high chair if we help him out or touch his spoon or folk he has a full blown tamper tantrum.he does get frustrated by things easly.didnt expect the terrible twos so early.just glad his twin sister isnt like it yet!!

Heather - posted on 11/29/2010

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omg! yes, my daughter has acted like a whole new kid the past couple of weeks. She cries and screams and throws little temper tantrums that she never has before. I don't know what to do. She constantly wants to be held and usually she wants to be down playing.

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