Tantrum time!

Rachel - posted on 03/10/2011

I've found the best way to deal with a tantrum is to pretend they aren't there. The reason a kid throws a tantrum is to try and rile you up. If they don't get any attention (negative attention is still attention) then eventually the tantrum will fizzle out. It takes a LOT of patience to put up with. As far as testing boundaries, that's the harder one for me. But, the biggest thing to remember is to be consistent. If you say no, mean it and don't go back on it no matter what your kid does. He needs to learn that you mean what you say and he's not going to be able to influence you to change your mind. If he does get you to give in, then he won and the power is all his. It's a tough road. But, remember to take deep breaths, spend a little bit longer in the bathroom if you need to counting to 100...whatever you need to calm yourself down. It's nothing about you, all kids do this.

Gloria - posted on 03/09/2011

i will suggest you talk to him quietly like an adult and let him know how much you love him, however during the course of your conversation, let him know that his recent tantrums is making you feel very bad and un- loved...he will understand you and try to make you happy... lots of love.. i hope this helps!

Jessica - posted on 03/07/2011

I have recently dealt with tantrums from both my 5 year old and my 21 month old. What worked for us: positive attention when they were not having tantrums (acting the way you want them to) and being firm but loving when they do have a tantrum. I simply tell them, "That attitude is not allowed in my house, I don't want to listen to it," and then I ignore their antics. (While staying safely near by). Once they calm down, I hug them and tell them that Mommy understands they were angry, frustrated, sad, or whatever, but that Mom understands them better when they communicate with their words, and it is easier for me to help them meet their needs that way because I know what they want. I've noticed a marked improvement since I started doing this (and really sticking to it). I found the hard was that giving in to tantrums (before trying this) only makes them worse.

Jennifer - posted on 03/07/2011

my sons only 21 months and I have finally had to put my foot down to his tantrums and 'needyness'. When he gets out of control with his whining I put him on a chair, or couch, or sit him someplace where he can see me and I him but tell him he needs to stay there until he stops whining. He seems to know I mean business and he sits there sniffling and calms down. When he is calm he gets up himself and we start over like it never happened. If going to his room isnt working try sitting him on the stairs or in a chair where you can both see each other but then its up to you to ignore the behavior until it has stopped and you have the desired results you are looking for.

but most importantly, you know your kid. Each kid is different and handles punishment differently. Mine is a pleaser and he is really upset when he makes me upset because of his behavior. So if I get upset and put my foot down he knows I mean business and he does all he can to stop the behavior.

When I was a nanny to a 5 yr old who threw fits, I would just ignore him and leave the room and let him throw the fit. Before I left I would tell him what he needed to do to get the desired result he wanted. Again I would let him calm down and when he calmed down I would give him what he wanted.

Kristen - posted on 03/03/2011

My son has been throwing tantrums since he was 18 months, we really worked thru them quickly, thank goodness. We have a really nice comfy chair in the living room, no tv, toys or anything in there for him. When he starts a tantrum, throwing, or hitting I pick him up tell him he needs to relax and calm down. I have him sit there until he is ready to be a big boy. I don't time it, I let him decide if he is ready to behave. If he gets down and keeps acting out, then we start all over. I have had him sit for a few minutes and it helps so much. I love the chair and sometimes he goes to it and tells me he needs to calm himself down. Hope it helps, it sure did help us.

Franchesca - posted on 03/01/2011

We use a time out chair, we tell our daughter that what she did was wrong and tell her she has to sit in the chair for 2 min, the chair is in the livingroom so we can still keep an eye on her but its secluded from everything else and facing away from all toys/tv... once she is in the chair we don't talk to her until its time for her to come out of timeout, and if she trys getting up earlier we just sit her back down without saying a word, when her time out is over she has to come say sorry to everyone (if for a tantrum) or a specific person (if for hitting/back talking)

Thepmala - posted on 02/28/2011

you take him to his room and leave him in there with doors open of course. If he walks/run out you do it over and over again but in silence. You tell him the first time that he needs to go to time out in his room. After that you just take him there. None of the, "you're in time out! Stay in your room! I mean it! I am counting to 3. You can't say anything to him.

You have be be patient and don't give in. It will test your patience because he will be screaming and fighting his way out. But it will take time. He should then stay in his room for time out until you go back to him. Then you ask him to say sorry so that you can give him a big hug and kiss.

Chantelle - posted on 02/27/2011

we tell my son to breath in and breath out and he usually does it and by the time hes done his breathing hes forgotten what he was having a tantrum about