Trantrums

Tara - posted on 07/13/2010 ( 49 moms have responded )

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My son was born on June 24th and is starting to have tantrums. He will yell, whine and slam his fist on our ottoman and cry. He protest every time he doesn't get his way or doesn't want something anymore. I don't know where he is getting this from because we don't give in to him. The only thing I can think of is that he is frustrated because he understands a lot but is unable to communicate everything he knows. Is this normal? Does anyone else have this situation and what should I do?

I started teaching him sign language. He knows "more" and "eat". This seems to help some.

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Katy has started with tantrums too - its purely her expressing her dissatisfaction with me - usually happens when she wants to walk (she still needs to hold onto my fingers) & I don't cooperate. She doesn't carry on for long & is easily distracted by something else. Usually I get what I need both hands for done, then go back to giving her 100% attention, sometimes I try to out-stare her tantrum (without smiling or laughing - not easy!) & I can see her reading my expression & calculating whether a louder cry or perhaps laughing will help her get her own way :-)

Tara - posted on 08/04/2010

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OMG! Thank you so much for all of the responses and suggestions. I am glad that we are not alone in this...I think we may be in for a rough couple of years.
Some things so far that has helped is modeling what the right thing to do is. Ex. hitting the dog....telling him "gentle" and showing him.
I still haven't figured out how to get him to stop biting. If you tell him "NO BITE" he will open his mouth and go after whatever it is again. I remove him from the "temptation" and he is fine and stops but this biting phase has to end. It's embarrassing!

Kimberly - posted on 08/02/2010

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My son, who is 14 months old has been throwing fits for about three months now but they are getting so much worse! First it was just screaming, then hitting our leg, then sitting on his butt really fast and screaming, now he throws himself on the ground screams kicks and head butts! I have been reading articles on disciplining a one year old/toddler because what we have been doing, showing him the right thing to do, saying no and telling him no if it is something that could hurt him. Looks like the hubby and I get to sit down and talk about this very soon. Good luck :) I say try what the articles say because it seems like really good advise.

Nikki - posted on 07/30/2010

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I agree....when my (almost 14 month old) daughter started "hitting" I would take her hand, tell her no, then help her touch my face nice and tell her that as she does it. This helped alot! Now if she goes to hit I say no no no and tell her to do nice and she gently strokes my cheek. It's very cute. But she has started to throw a little fit every time her father or I leave the room. And she wants to be picked up while we are cooking, cleaning...etc. It has been tough but we just keep telling her that mommy or daddy is cleaning, cooking..etc and she has to wait until we are done. She doesn't like it but she's getting the idea. Good luck all. Just remember, as I keep trying to remind myself, they are little people and while they may not be able to talk, they can comprehend alot! :)

Justine - posted on 07/29/2010

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I'm really glad I read this post! I thought I was the only one going through this! My daughter will yell if you tell her no and sometimes she hits but it is more out of play than anger usually. Lately she's been hitting herself! I don't know what to do to get her to stop. You can't punish a one year old! They don't understand. I try to simply ignore the tantrums and then praise her when she does the right thing. This seems to help. Any advice on how to get her to stop smacking herself tho? We tell her No and BE NICE but it's not helping...

Caysie - posted on 07/28/2010

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Im currently having the same issue, my daughter will be 13 months on the 8th and ever since her Dad left her tanturms have gotten worse. Its hard b/c he's taken her anger out on my Grandmother, she gives kisses and laughs and plays patty cake with my mom and great grandma (5 genmerations of women in my familty) but when it comes to my Grandma, she screams, hits and has nothin to do with her. It really hurts my Grandma's feelings and idk what to do or handle it...

Plz help

Erin - posted on 07/28/2010

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My daughter is a little drama queen - 13 months old, but thinks she's 13 years old! When she doesn't get her way, she slaps both hands on her knees and throws her head back. Then she falls to her knees and buries her head in the carpet and cries! It is very dramatic. It only lasts a second because I ignore her when she does it. I usually tell her "I don't see any tears, I'm not falling for that trick!" and then she smiles. I have also gotten on the floor with her at times and pretended to cry. This makes her laugh and she forgets why she's upset. It shows her how silly she looks.

Jodie - posted on 07/28/2010

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My lil man will be 14 months on the 8th aug and omg he does everything everyone here is talking about!! I tell him no and his eyes squint at me as if he is glaring at me, i pick him up to take him away from whatever i didnt want him near and he throws himself backwards and squeals and screams at me... then i put him down and he proceeds to throw himself about (rather funny to see him doing it, yet slightly alarming) once he gets over it he will go play somewhere else or sometimes the cheeky bugga goes back to the same spot and i repeat the whole thing again.. lol joys of motherhood.

Kat - posted on 07/28/2010

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i found 2 things that work with my son's tantrums

i go up to him and clap and say "yaaaaayyyyy" which then gets him to stop and start laughing.

the other thing is to sit down and pretend to throw my own tantrum. he stops and laughs at me, then goes off and plays with his toys.

Anita - posted on 07/27/2010

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oh yeah and by the way I still think the 'terrible twos' begin when they are around 12 months of age lol

Anita - posted on 07/27/2010

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My daughter who is nearly 14 months old (born June 15th) started doing the tantrum thing a few weeks ago. She throws herself on the floor on her belly and throws her arms and legs around like a starfish lol. I think it's normal because my son also started the tantrum thing at this age too. I think they get frustrated because they can't communicate that well yet. NOw that my son is nearly 2 he is so much better because he can tell me what he wants.

Shanna - posted on 07/26/2010

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last night while we were shopping, my son screamed for a sec then I saw his face turn red like a cartoon. OMG! What have I created I thought to myself? We're going to start letting him cry instead of thinking he gets what he wants with these outbursts.

RoDonna - posted on 07/26/2010

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My son (born June 6th) has been falling out and having tantrums since he was able to walk at 9 months whenever he doesn't get his way. He will also hit you when he gets upset. It hard when others give into his protest but I am remaining strong. He has learned what time out is already and although he can only sit for 1 minute, it calms him down and we start over. If he does it again, I make him sit right there or I will get into his personal space, eye to eye, and restate whatever in a low calm but firm voice. He usually settles when he realizes I am not giving in. The only times it doesn't work is when he is tired and he will whine himself to sleep.

Samantha - posted on 07/25/2010

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I'm so glad everyone is having the same problem! I thought terrible twos had come early! I thought it was something that I was doing! Thanks for reassuring me all!
Signing sounds like a good idea. When my son points I try to take him to what he is pointing at which helps!

Chy - posted on 07/24/2010

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My son is 13 months old, i am expecting my second child in 7 weeks. Dakota just started doing his tantrums. He will get mad if i go to do something in the normal day, his dad works all day so it is just him and me for hours. He loves toy cars and golf clubs (kid ones). If i leave the room or walk by he freaks out he will throw himself to the ground, screaming at the top of his lungs (he has my scream which i might add is REALLy loud), kickings, yells, crys and of course throws things to hit me. When i go to talk to him about his attitude he will start throwing his arms up and down hitting me anywhere, he has bitten me before he throws his toys at me. Then ill take the toys away and he just gets louder when i say Dakota! with a louder voice i can't even hear myself cause of his winning or screaming. I tried to put him in timeout in his crib but he just crawls out if he doesnt fall out. So i had to stop that so basically he ends up winning cause i end up so stressed with being almost due and having a 1 year old screaming i swear he is going though his terrible twos. But when his dad gets home he is an angel. He gets mad when his daddy walks by before saying hi cause he has to wash up so does anyone have anything to say to help me! aha

Amanda - posted on 07/23/2010

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My daughter does the exact same thing with the tantrums and if you go to change her diaper and she doesnt want to be changed she will kick her feet and throw her self back.

Elanor - posted on 07/23/2010

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So so normal. My eldest has Autisim - but was the most placid baby ever. My 1 year old, is so stroppy. And he does sign language. He does something 'naughty' on purpose, then when we say'AA AA' He hides his face in his hand.
i think it's great! And all part of the process.
You just have to be careful never to give in to a tantrum, or winging, or crying.

Angy - posted on 07/23/2010

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You
a moment ago .i was worried bt now im calm knowing that almost evry child his age has tantrums. one thing i dont want is for my son to think he can always hav his way. he screams when he's playin with something and i take it from him. on his birthday his grandma got him this fluffy lion and he loves it dearly so when he throws a tantrum i giv him his lion and he starts kissing it and forgets abt anything else.

Cherry Lou - posted on 07/22/2010

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hi same here. my son is 13 months old and it seems that throwing away things is his way of expressing himself.

Donna - posted on 07/22/2010

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absolutely standard for there age mine was also born on June 24 last year. Anytime we dont give in to her she plonks herself on the floor and stamps her feet. Crys if she doesnt get her own way and all the rest. My suggestion just keep doing what you are doing he will soon grow out of it or get worse in age but eventually he will know what is happening and then it changes everything.

Eva - posted on 07/22/2010

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mines a red head as well he now stands on his feet puts his head on the floor and screams - it is sooooo funny and i try hard not to laugh unfortunately it seems to be the age

Kylie - posted on 07/22/2010

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oh wow seems like it is really nice to know we are not alone doesnt it? that our child isnt the only one behaving this way ;O)
I agree it does seem to eventuate when they are tired more often than not but I do know it is an age when they are learning to push boundaries and test us out to see what the limits are and who they are as a little person! it is all very normal hang in there all you are all doing so very well!! the joys of being a mummy :O) xxx

Jennifer - posted on 07/22/2010

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My daughter is 13 months and does the same thing...if she doesn't get what she wants or my husband and I tell her "no" she throws herself back and starts screaming. She also doesn't like when I leave the room. We are staying strong and ignoring it, but it's hard because I don't want her to slam her head off the ground. It's pretty violent! Ahhh this too shall pass!

Lauren - posted on 07/21/2010

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Let me just tell you that knowing sign language doesn't work! My husband is Deaf so we use sign language at home. My daughter who turned 1 on June 15th has a signing vocabulary of about 40-50 words, but that is not helping with the tantrums! she still screams bloody murder if we leave the room or if she doesn't get what she wants. It seems like its just normal for this age... I'm sure it will pass :)

Rachel - posted on 07/21/2010

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Tantrums are normal. It is the only way possible for them to say "but mommy I want that". Sometime you gotta just let them throw the fit for a few minutes. Most of the time they get over it pretty quick, if not that's when I put my son in his crib until he is done. I don't want him growing up thinking he can get whatever he wants. Since I started doing that, he doesn't throw as many fits when I say no, or taking something away from him that I dont think he should have. And he is becoming more independent.

Ashley - posted on 07/21/2010

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my daughter is 13 months old and is also throwing temper tantrums. It is usually when my husband or I tell her no, when she doesnt get what she wants, and when i leave the room. I'm trying to play peek a boo with her when i leave the room and she starts throwing her temper tantrum i pop out and say peek a boo and she laughs and forgets that i left the room but when we tell her no. oh my she is a handful. we ignore her and she usually stops crying soon enough. its when she gets the attention does it continue. very frustrating when im at home all day and trying to get stuff done and she just whines. i know its a fase but its a fase that i want to end very soon.

Monica - posted on 07/20/2010

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My son does it also, thankfully not that often but when he does I ignore him for about 5min and then I sit in on my lap and try to tell him there is no point in screaming...if he doesnt stop I put him back down and let him have at it...

Andrea - posted on 07/20/2010

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Stay strong, and don't give in to him. My son throws tantrums occasionally, but I have taught him some words so that he can communicate what he wants a little more often. The most important thing is to be consistent. I taught him to say up when he wants picked up, and down when he wants to be put down. Please for when he wants something out of his pack n play, or if he wants a snack. I'm working on eat for when he's hungry. He'll repeat it, but he won't say it on his own yet. Sign language can be good, but a friend of mine told me to try to get him to say the words, too, so that signing doesn't keep him from developing his language skills. I let him know right away when he started tantrums that he doesn't get what he wants until he calms down.

Charlotte - posted on 07/20/2010

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my son has been having tantrums since he was about 10months he lay on the floor banging his feet on the floor he is now 13 months

this morning he had one because i shut the kitchen door because the washing machine was making lots of noise because he likes to sit in front of it and see the bubbles going round not that he was interested in it to day until i shut the doori just let him get on with it he gets over it much quicker if i don't react to it if you respond they know its working and will try it again next time. sometimes they just seeing what they can get away with other times it because it the only way they have to show they are annoyed or frustrated as they can't tell you any other way yet.

Heidi - posted on 07/20/2010

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my son is extremely easy going and the only time he falls to the floor is if he's trying to push something and it gets stuck! My daughter had a lot of tantrums however and she was more head strong i guess you would call it! I think it is alot about the childs personality. and yes its also probably b/c he cannot communicate well yet! i ve also heard its a natural thing that all children go through at some point! good luck!!

Leslie - posted on 07/19/2010

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Hearing this post makes me feel better too. I thought I was going through this alone. Its nice to hear its an age thing/phase. My son Dyan was born on June 21st. I was told the tantrums are a frustration thing. Dylan does it when he can't get his way. My best friend calls him whiny boy because he whines, cries and does the slapping of hands or fists on the table.At times he does try to slap our hands or face. We tell him no. We try distracting him as a way to get him to calm down without giving in to his behavior.

Chrissy - posted on 07/19/2010

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My daughter just turned one and she does the same thing if it's not her way she throws a little tantrum, if she continues to not get her way she will roll around on the floor and whine, she says noooo noooo dont! But I just make sure never to give her what she wants when she asks for it through a tantrum and sometimes I even put her in time out. My friend told me that she thinks at this age they are just starting to develop opinions about what they like and dislike and tantrums are just a way of expressing those opinions. If they learn that they can get their way by doing it, it will never stop.

Rosie - posted on 07/18/2010

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Yup! I thought Ava was having terrible twos early, but obviously I have that to look forward to too!! She throws herself on the floor and sort of throws her hands around at things she's 'had enough of' to show her frustration. I think it's a communication thing. Nothing to seriously worry about though. Sign language really helps, and stopping, coming down to their level and taking the time to listen really helps.

Britton - posted on 07/17/2010

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My son is starting to have little tantrums. If he wants to go walk somewhere on his on he gets mad when i try to hold his hand. He will jerk his hand away and run off grunting lol. I think it is part of the fact that they cant communicate what they want.

Jessica - posted on 07/17/2010

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YES, I forgot that, good point Lacey- definitely stay calm!! They are so sensitive and pick up on your emotions so much. The times I start to lose my cool are when he acts the worst. When I make myself stay calm and quiet he cuts it out much sooner.

Lacey - posted on 07/17/2010

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My 13 month old has been having a ton of tantrums as well. She seems so smart and talks pretty well for her age, but when she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it she screams. My husband and I have never given in to her tantrum. I just calmly say use your words. She stops sometimes, other times she will go on for as long as 10 mins. I don't remember my older (13 yrs &10 yrs) kids ever being this head strong. Sign language does help some.... and staying calm.

Jessica - posted on 07/17/2010

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I think that is totally normal for this age, and communication is a big part of it. Teaching him sign language is a great idea- I only tried half-heartedly with my son but wasn't consistent enough.

I think the best thing to do is ignore the tantrum and try to distract them... they won't understand much else at this point (like time outs etc). But by not paying any attention to it you aren't reinforcing it, kwim? I actually have to stop myself from laughing when my son throws fits- as exasperating as they are sometimes- because its just kind of cute when he tries throwing things on the floor. Anything lying around him- even a stuffed animal, lol!

Agnes - posted on 07/17/2010

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My daughter is 13 months old right now and has started the tantrums! She has them just as most of you have said when I tell her no or she doesn't get her way. I have started trying the whole timeout thing. I have a rocking chair that I used when she was a newborn and it is in her room.I put her in this facing the wall and then sit behind it where she can't see me but where I can insure she doesn't fall or something.

Kate - posted on 07/16/2010

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Terrie, I love that your daughter says "all done" after her fit! That's great that she knows herself so well and can express it, too!

My son has just begun having tantrums and I think it may be a long toddlerhood. He rolls around on the floor and screams and cries and is pretty inconsolable. Generally it's in response to not being able to get what he wants. It's tough, and it's totally developmentally appropriate...

Tara, it sounds like you are doing all the right things. Another thing you can try is to have him follow through with helping the person he hit feel better, essentially starting a little empathy training, while teaching him appropriate behavior. So, after he hits, and you firmly say no and move his hand away, you could say something like, 'that hurt! can you help me feel better?' Then guide his hand to give a gentle pat while saying 'gentle,' then say 'that's better!' Basically it's about offering him a replacement behavior, since he may not have the words yet... This may sound impossible but it can work over time...

Good luck! Sounds like we all need some!

Terrie - posted on 07/15/2010

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my daughter who is 13months does this as well! she has the temper of an angry cat! I just ignore her when she starts throwing her fit, or I'll put her in her crib & let her scream it out in there... she screams for about 5 minutes then realizes no one is coming so she quits & says "all done"

Tara - posted on 07/15/2010

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I really hate this phase too! and hope it doesn't last long. When my son hits, I firmly say no and remove him from the situation. My struggle right now is that they doctor said to put him in time out for as long as his age. I don't know "where" to put him. I don't want to put him in his bed because I don't want him to associate it with punishment and have bed time be a struggle. I want to put him somewhere safe and confining. I don't have a pack-m-play though.

Sandra - posted on 07/15/2010

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My son is 12 month old and does the same thing! He drives me crazy! How do you guys not get mad at them? He does not listen at all... all day... every day. Today he hit me in the face with a toy car and then smiled at me.. When I took it away and told him NO he started laughing. What do you guys do so you don`t lose it???

Autumn - posted on 07/14/2010

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My daughter is 13 months and has turned into a little monster!! *Knock on wood* she's been good these past few days but she does have a temper!! She does the same thing slams herself to the floor screaming her lungs out! She will even hit me in the face sometimes! its usually when i take something away that she is not suppose to have. So for my child i don't think it's a communication thing, I just think she's a brat! lol I don't know what to do with her... so your not alone!! If this is just a phase I can not wait until she outgrows this!

Sarah Elisabeth - posted on 07/14/2010

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Thank God I thought I was the only one!!!

My son will be 13 months this Friday and he started throwing these insanely crazy temper tantrums within the last couple of months... and I swear it seems like the older he gets the more difficult he is becoming! He’ll scream and cry if someone goes to the bathroom or steps out of the room for a minute and he won’t stop until that person comes back into the room (usually myself, my husband, or my mom). It's very frustrating for the all of us because I know he is very smart and curious but cannot communicate with us other than screaming! I really think your idea of teaching sign language would be very helpful… He already understands the shaking of the head (yes/no) hopefully we can teach him more and maybe it can help tame his terrible tantrums!

Fiona - posted on 07/14/2010

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My daughter who just turned 1 is also throwing tantrums. She throws herself back, arches her back and screams really loud. She does it alot when im out shopping and its very embarassing!! I do notice that she does it more when she is tired or when she doesnt get what she wants.
I just walk away from her and just let her go for it. I think by ignoring her she realises she hasnt got my attention and she stops.

Nikki - posted on 07/13/2010

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were in the same boat, my lil one has one BIG TEMPER, he smashes his head onto the floor, clenches his little fists, throws things, smacks thing, screams and yells, all bc he cant have something or I tell him No because he is climbing something or causing damage. The only thing I found that works is distracting him with something else, it takes a couple minutes, but then he forgets all about the tantrum. But yeah I can imagine what our neighbours think, because he screams at the top of his lungs

Vanessa - posted on 07/13/2010

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we are having the same problem....even if we leave the room to cook dinner or laundry or something, he freaks out! i feel that my neighbors think we are hurting him LOL...he also throws things, including himself, onto the floor when he isn't happy and screams when he is done eating and wants out of his highchair....i agree that it has got to be frusturating when you understand yet can't communicate, sign language sounds promising...i've talked to other moms i know and our pediatrician and it seems to just be the age, unfortunately.....keep me posted if you find another solution :)

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