Letting your child drink at home

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 09/23/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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would you allow your child to drink in your home? (Starting at 16 +) it could be a beer, glass of wine with dinner, shots to the head..ect
When did you start drinking and did your parents know?

(I know in other parts of the world the drinking age is not as strict as the US)

Lets say they are still living under your roof at the age of 19,20 and want to have a small gathering of their friends who may be as young as 18. They want to drink...would you let them or put your foot down? What would be the harm if any drinking under your watchful eye?**what are your thoughts in general about your child and drinking in your home**

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Barb - posted on 09/24/2011

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And just a note of clarification, none of my kids enjoyed alcohol, still don't and none of them ever asked for a drink while living here and i never served any of the alcohol while they were here under the age of 21. It might be because we are not big drinkers ourselves, never kept alcohol in the house. It might be because it wasn't a big deal, not sure. Either way, i'm happy with the results.

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Sharelle - posted on 02/05/2013

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when I was 16 I went to a party and got my drink spiked with speed omg was I so sick if not for my good friends I don't no what would of happend to me my sister was 20 at the time and way buying me my alcohol with my parents not nowing when I told them what happend they were so mad with me that I didn't come to them and ask them about if I wanted to drink at that age there views where if u want to drink at that age as most kids do do it at home in a safe invroment where they could monitor the consumption I have a 11 and 7 year old and I'm kinda on the same fence I would want to no if they are drinking and do it in a safe invroment so I kinda think its ok to do it at home then rather go out and drink and be so vonrable to today's society

Donna - posted on 10/17/2011

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I was 16. It was one whine cooler. My parents were ok with it. I have drank with minors in younger days and honestly think i would not let my daughters friends have a drink in my home, now my daughters under my eye, yes. We dont keep anything except for beer in my house b/c my hubby loves his beer, but he is responsable, and doesn't act like a moron. I have learned that teenagers feel like they have something to prove when they go to other peoples houses for a party with alcohol and turn into complete idiots.

Jay - posted on 09/27/2011

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Also, here it is not illegal to give your own child drink once they are over 16 and in your home and wine is okay long before that, but I don't know the exact age.. But we were offered wine at dinner from about 12/13. x

Jay - posted on 09/27/2011

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Ya I would allow a drink at 16, I was allowed to drink at 16 and go out to the nightclub so I think as long as he is showing maturity then I would let him to the club too. (I would never encourage it)
I was drinking secretly from a13 and told my mum at 15 and she thought the odd drink was okay by 16, same with all of us really.
The drinking age here is 18 so of course I wouldn't mind a group of my childs 18 year old or even 17 year old friends coming for a drink, but if they were all 16 I would want to know that their parents where ok with them having a drink and how much was acceptable for them. That's the way my mum was.x

Tah - posted on 09/25/2011

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i was about 13 or 14, if my parents knew id be putting in dentures every morning. No they can't drink in my house until they are 21. i don't drink in my parents house and when they come over any alcohol i may have is put away and i don't even drink in my house in front of them. I feel when they are 21 that is their decision to make, but in my home it's mine.

[deleted account]

wow just read the other responses man I sound like a mean bitch, oh well live and let live. Watch out my kids'll end up hanging out round your places to get a glass of watered down wine or a sip of beer! make sure you kick their asses back to my house though so I can hear how unfair it is.

[deleted account]

Nope not a sip of alcohol under my roof or anywhere else for that matter until 19 (legal drinking age here) why, it's against the law and we abide by the law. If they put forth the argument that it is legal with parental consent earlier (which is true) I will remind them ah but I don't consent and nor does your father, why because the drinking age is there for a reason and I do not agree with underage drinking under any circumstances. Now when they reach 19 if they are still under my roof then sure on special occasions and they are drinking their own that they have paid for and acquired on their own or out with friends but my home is not party central I wont allow it. If at 16+ age they want to make a huge stink about the rules then fine get a job get an apartment and you're free to do whatever you like under your own roof but I wont buy it for you I wont drive you to get it and I wont be around anyone drinking under age.

I had my first drink when I was 8 at my aunts wedding, the bridesmaids thought it'd be funny to get the flowergirl drunk, nice. I was 14 when I got smashed with my cousins at the cottage, aunt and uncle didnt know but its not like we really got in trouble for it. I started buying my own and drinking regularly and partying at 16. Did my parents know, yeah, did they care, not really. I was allowed to drink at family gatherings at 17 on if it was my own that I had bought (or if my cousins gave it to me on the DL) because I had a job and was on my own and basically another adult as opposed to a child but I was never offered a drink from them until I was 19. My parents never bought me a drink until 19, if I could get it myself fine but they werent going to make it easy for me. At the end of the day though I think just like smoking even though they never encouraged it nor helped me acheive it if it had been more difficult for me to get, if I had gotten in trouble for drinking/smoking I would have waited for sure. I was never big on getting in shit nor effort. I figure my kids will be the same way so I'm taking the no tolerance approach.

Barb - posted on 09/24/2011

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I started when i was 14, mom would let us have wine coolers. At first i didn't know they had alcohol in them, i just thought they were a fizzy fruity drink.

I'm good with letting my kids have a beer or wine at 18. something low alcohol. I mean, if they can make the decision to go off and die for their country, i think they can make a decision about having a beer now and then.

I would not allow his underage friends to come over and drink however, that is just inviting trouble. The more people involved, the higher the likelihood of getting caught or someone getting hurt or hurting someone else. If it's just my child and just one or two drinks and he's not going anywhere but bed.. i'm okay with that.

Amy - posted on 09/24/2011

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oh...and he and i lost most of our friends when we got married at twenty because all they wanted to do was get trashed and...we just..didn't. I was married. Found out I was just used for DD and he didn't get trashed because he knew he wanted to be a dad and had things to do to get there. Goals. lost friends. Figured they weren't really friends anyway.

Amy - posted on 09/24/2011

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We make wine. Kids have helped. They're allowed a sip of what we made together. I remember having wine available at supper through most of my teen years. I remember asking dad what beer was and he said, here, try some. I was all excited. was ten or something. Took a drink. Ew. Dad you drink that on purpose?! lol.

My kids have had whiskey/lemon/honey for sore throats. They are not getting drunk. When they get older, just like we did, they may have a watered down glass of wine with supper. I also remember having half juice, half wine growing up. I still haven't been drunk. One day....if I have time and give up the self control. But I never really "drank". I had some with a meal and that was it. When I got older, I preferred dancing over not knowing what was going on around me or being an idiot. Yes, my parents knew. They were right there with me. I was living with them until I was 19 then moved out. I had friends die young in car accidents not even alcohol related and my dad told a story about being drunk and driving and....we always talked about everything and it scared the crap out of me. so...drunk..just never really was an option. now that i'm a mom..REALLY not an option. was raised to be too responsible i guess. boring. but responsible. My kids will be allowed to have some with meals. Not sure what age for a half glass or watered down. Cross that bridge when we see how mature they become I suppose.

If they WANT to get drunk...not with your pals at my house, darlings. The goal should not be lack of self control. I won't ever say "don't drink!" But I will say, call my any time of night or day if you need me to get you, talk about what could happen [had a friend get trashed. pregnant. didn't even know she had sex. was passed out.] and things like that. Drinking fine. drinking to get drunk...just ...how stupid is that? If they do get drunk at my house..They're cleaning up vomit/toilets/floors/kitchen/wherever their butts were drinking. And...daddy can talk to my kids. My husband drank more than anyone should have in high school. Regrets it. I think when we talk about our regrets, the kids actually listen and if htey respect you/look up to you, they learn from our idiocy. :)

[deleted account]

I wouldn't allow it in the party situation. There is no need for them to be socially drinking even under a watchful eye. Not to mention if something did go wrong, I'd be the one in jail... uh no thanks.

I'm ok with sips and tastes. I don't like the idea of a full drink of something. I've watched way too many alcoholics form from it. But honestly I don't see the need for it.

I had my first taste at about 9 or so, it was an IPA (figured that out later)... yeah hated it and never touched a beer since. I swear my dad did that on purpose. I didn't start really having alcohol until I was 22. Before that I'd have a bit at family gatherings if offered. There were 2 occations that my mom didn't know... and honestly I felt horrible about it afterwards, despite they were only a glass each time.

Denikka - posted on 09/23/2011

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My own child, I may allow to have A drink for special occasions, like a toast on new years (like mixed champagne).
Since the drinking age here is 19, I would let my child drink at home socially at that age.
But I would NEVER allow someone else's underage child to drink in my home with my knowledge. If ANYTHING happened to that child, it would be my fault. Anything from alcohol poisoning to being in a car crash after they left. No WAY am I prepared to take on that kind of responsibility for another persons child.
For the same reason, I would not boot for an underage child.

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