Spanking..

Roberta - posted on 09/02/2011

I spank, and I'll do it in public if I have to. Do I care what those people are saying? Nope...because I'm not killing my daughter and I'm not even hurting her, a tap on the butt or back of the hand is my own decision. If I saw a person beating their child bloody...well of course I would report them and probably intervene, but if it's just a simple spank then it's their business as well.

Vicki - posted on 09/02/2011

oh but the other thing re: talking to ppl whe they spank in public. don't think anyone would lsiten to a stranger. would probably jsut piss them off even more.

Vicki - posted on 09/02/2011

barb agree wholeheartedly. violence begets violence. yelling...my loud ass voice needs to take a calming breather. all it does is teaches them it's ok to yell. and two toddlers yelling is NOT fun. I remember yelling at them once out of frustration and what effect did it have...they laughed. hey if I were them I'd hav alughed at me too!

Barb - posted on 09/02/2011

Doug said one day that if Lilly needed it, he'd pop her on the butt! I told him if he so much as raises his voice to my Lilly or looks at her cross-eyed, he better sleep with one eye open... LOL He talks tough, but that little girl has pap paw wrapped around her little fingers..

Barb - posted on 09/02/2011

I used to spank, and yes, i did it in public, a swat or two on the behind. Now that i'm a grandma, i have a totally different view on things.. i all for time outs and find them effective in correcting behavior, and helping the child learn self discipline and isn't that really want i want?

If i see someone spanking in public, i don't think bad of them, and i would never go up and yell at them, that is not going to end well for anyone, especially the child. If the purpose is to let everyone know how to parent, you are setting yourself up to fail. If the purpose is to help the parent and child, regardless of how it helps or doesn't help you, you have a chance at success, because it will change your approach to the situation.

If you run up to someone's face and scream STOP BEATING YOUR CHILD!! you totally look like a crazy person that NO ONE is going to take advice from. This person can't control themselves, what can they offer me in form of control?

Violence met with violence begets violence. Yelling is violent.

And don't forget, the best way to stop a tantrum is not have one yourself.

If you can bring calmness to the situation, it will be of benefit to everyone, especially the child. Many people spank because they don't see another way, if you give someone another way that is more effective and actually teaches the child something, they will probably take that advice.

People want to feel good about themselves and hitting a child or a spanking, doesn't make anyone feel good about anything in the long run.

Shawna - posted on 09/02/2011

i have three small children, and it can be very hectic taking them places, such as the grocery, out to eat, etc. I know they are just kids, but i also expect a certain behavior out of them. i do spank them if i feel it necessary, and im sure i have spanked them in public before. i dont judge people for spanking their kids in public either, but i do not agree with smacking them in the face, etc. i was spanked as a child and i turned out just fine. it actually kept me from making some bad decisions, because i knew what was going to happen if i got caught. dont judge before you walk a mile in someones shoes.

Tah - posted on 08/25/2011

Well more power to you, good luck....

Michelle - posted on 08/25/2011

Well, I'm 46 years old...I've been hurt, sprayed with mace, pepper spray, etc...participating in various political protests and rallies over the years. If I get hurt standing up for someone or a cause I believe in, I regard that as a badge of honor. I'll heal. No big deal.
Fortunately, when it comes to things like this, with kids...I've only had to get up in someone's face four times in my life. Mostly they're so shocked that someone actually did it, they just step back, and embarrassed that they just grab their kid and get out. Once, a lady acted like she was going to punch me, but I just stood there and her husband grabbed her and got her and his kid out of there. I prolly didn't help by yelling at him "Why don't you get your balls back from her while you're at it," but I just couldn't help myself. As long as someone KNOWS what they're doing is wrong..but these days, people know that everything they do in public is under a microscope...so when they get busted doing something wrong, most of them just want to get the heck out of dodge before the cops show up. But like I said, I can usually tell the difference between a spanking and a beating...and if I can't, then I usually either call a security guard or an employee of wherever its going on.
And I don't just run up out of the blue and get in someone's face...I yell first. Running up out of the blue IS stupid, I will agree with you there.

Tah - posted on 08/24/2011

im glad to hear it, cause one day you are gonna need it..i just take plan old karate,well not true(okinawan shorin ryu) and i teach classes. then my brother teaches me his ninjutsu and i go to class with him as well and then my husband teaches me the self defense he learns in the military because i work at night and then theres my pocket OC spray that looks like a pen(google that), so when you think im about to write you a love letter or take your license plate.nope im going to spray you and not tell you what gets it out....the military uses it..they spray the servicemember and then send them through a fighting obstacle course and afterward they cant drive themselves home and only one thing washes it out..lol. Im from philly, not texas, and you see what happened...she made a call and the whole darn bus got shot up..stupid yes...but not unheard of..so thats why i advise against getting in peoples faces because you don't know them. i would take it as a threat..im not a bully and don't back down, so i hope your experience proves to be true everytime because i didn't grow up with many people who did back down....but im all for a spanking when warranted...if i feel you are abusing the person, and i mean ABUSING..not spanking, because yes i am also a mandated reporter, heck we just had to sign papers at work stating we know that...then i would report it.too many crazies out here, and if someone jumps in my face, they must be one..

Michelle - posted on 08/24/2011

It's been my experience that someone beating a child is a bully...and a typical bully is afraid of anyone who steps up to them. (Gets in their face.) I can understand where people wouldn't get that...here in Texas, we defend victims, with force if necessary..and the law will back us up. (Google Texas Castle Doctrine, Joe Horn, etc). I know that's not too common anywhere else. I stand by my post. Big mouth responses notwithstanding. (Remember, we take self defense classes, too...Israeli self defense here.)

Tah - posted on 08/24/2011

"There is a DIFFERENCE between spanking and beating. Would I report someone for SPANKING their kid? Absolutely not...I'd probably thank them. BEATING them? I'd get up in their face--and I have, before. "



That was michelles response copy and pasted..a dirty look, I may respond with some choice words or give you a worse look, you get in my face, it's a threat and I'll treat it as such..and no the bus thing wasn't right, it was illogical and crude, but then as I said, everyone isn't sensible so people should really practice not getting up in others faces or feeling the need to say whatever they want and then looking shocked when they get a response that isn't pleasant.

Rosie - posted on 08/24/2011

i don't think anybody here said they would be all up in someones face. like i said i'd just probably give a dirty look. would that be a "threat" worthy of a physical attack? ...that's why i think it's ridiculous. you do something in public that some people consider harmful to a child, and you honestly think that they're a threat to you?



the people on the bus boggle my mind. someone tries to protect THEIR child, and instead of thinking about it like that, they instead choose to call their family and shoot up the whole fucking bus? cause that's completely logical...

Tah - posted on 08/24/2011

I can distinguish someone thinking they are protecting a child by being in my business and a threat..what I was calling a threat was Michelle saying she would get up in the persons face and that she has. I don't like people in my personal Space anyway and if some stranger comes in that space you are going to the hospital, after the pain meds calm you down, then you can calmly..preferably from a safe distance and with some sense, explain what you were talking about, because You being all up in my face...threat. You don't know people, their background etc. I'm from where they shot up the bus..close by, born and raised if that gives you any idea of how much we had to be on guard. I think what they did was crazy and wrong and ridiculous..but I used it as an example for people like Michelle and others who think it wise or safe to approach any Jane or Jim on the street. I've had plenty of people jump in my face while growing up and it wasn't for a sweet kiss goodnight..so if she did it to me, I'd automatically start to defend myself and I don't mean wild swinging either. I mean a deliberate move I rehearse every week to ensure my safety because for all I know she's the crazy person short on her meds...I'm just saying...

Rosie - posted on 08/23/2011

i heard that tah, sad. i also think it's sad that people can't distinguish between someone wanting to protect a child and a threat.

Vicki - posted on 08/23/2011

"kids don't come with a book that you can study and then get a grade on that says oh ok well you got an A+ so you can pass jugdement on everyone else, no we are all just trying to raise happy healthy responsible adults as best we know how with what we got. And just because this person has a fancy degree or more money don't mean shit they can be just as screwed up and dysfuntional as anybody and raise kids that commit things like the Columbine Murders or Rape women, children or rob, kill. Dysfuntion shows no boundries it don't care if you have money or you don't. Some of the most dysfuntional people i know got more money than they know what to do with and i would not take parenting advice from them about how to raise my damn dog."

Ixchel...I have to say I am extremely anti-spanking but LOVE the way you worded that!

Tah - posted on 08/23/2011

Yeah..someone in Philly weighed in on a spanking, the mother called her family and they shot up the bus. I would advise against getting up in peoples faces, you never know who you are approaching...me, I'd take it as a threat and would begin defending myself immediately, just want all you superwomen to be careful.

Michelle - posted on 08/23/2011

There is a DIFFERENCE between spanking and beating. Would I report someone for SPANKING their kid? Absolutely not...I'd probably thank them. BEATING them? I'd get up in their face--and I have, before.
Spanking is with your hand, on the butt. Beating is with an object, anywhere else. Slapping a face with an open hand is not discipline, it's to shame and humiliate...and very effective with a smart mouthed teenager..but only as a last resort.
My daughter is 14, too old for 'spanking'..she did get spanked, her last one when she was in the second grade. I did spank in public TWICE, for the same offense, two different times, months apart. She flat out refused to hold my hand in ANY parking lot. We were at Walmart when she was three, she wouldn't take my hand, and darted out in front of a truck. Luckily, he was driving very slow. (I figure he had kids, too LOL.) I grabbed her and popped her twice on the butt. One lady asked me, "Isn't that a little much?" I said, "Compared to a two ton truck crushing her skull, no." The second time was a year later, at Blockbuster. She darted right in front of a car, that had to slam on its brakes. I grabbed her and busted her butt all the way into the store.
So if someone is SPANKING in public, no it's not my or anyone else's business...but BEATING them? Yeah, absolutely.

Ixchel - posted on 08/22/2011

Hi Tah Dula,
I was involved in a debate that was not even suppose to be one lol about this yesturday.
I (we) have only had to spank our son's 1 times a piece until yesturday when the 10 year old got a little big for his britches and got a swat on his butt. But, I guess if my kids needed it i would do it in public.
I don't really care how others raise their kids as long as it don't affect me and mine so what ever they feel they need to do.
i do not step in look at them or anything i just keep steppin i will maybe say been there if they say something to me like why are they so lippy or something.
My husband and I have discussed these situations because of the type of work he does and the only way we would intervene is if we saw a child being beaten with an object or uncontrollable, I think you can understand what i mean The difference between a swatt on the but and being abused with a belt or something. I would do this because I don't beleive in beating your kids but some kids may need a swatt to get there attention i did, my younger not so much the oldest need one, different types of personalities.
I don't think it is my right to tell another how to raise their kids I am not perfect, kids don't come with a book that you can study and then get a grade on that says oh ok well you got an A+ so you can pass jugdement on everyone else, no we are all just trying to raise happy healthy responsible adults as best we know how with what we got. And just because this person has a fancy degree or more money don't mean shit they can be just as screwed up and dysfuntional as anybody and raise kids that commit things like the Columbine Murders or Rape women, children or rob, kill. Dysfuntion shows no boundries it don't care if you have money or you don't. Some of the most dysfuntional people i know got more money than they know what to do with and i would not take parenting advice from them about how to raise my damn dog.
I don't considering it anyones business what another parent does.
I think I explained why earlier.
Thanks for your Q it was good

Krista - posted on 08/19/2011

It is none of anyone's business what other parents do with their children in public, you have zero context in what is going on and so you have zero say. If you see some adult just straight molesting or beating a child fking intervene!

But that's the thing...how do you define beating? It's very subjective, this "excessive force" thing. I'm not a fan of spanking, but if a toddler tried to dart into traffic, and the parent gave him a quick swat on the butt, followed by a stern talking-to, I'd honestly have no issue with that. And then you could have another parent who doesn't lay a hand on the kid, but who screams insults and invective at him for 10 minutes straight. And that WOULD bother me. Other parents would shrug it off and say, "Not my kid, not my business."

Personally, I would have to go by the kid's cues. If he just looks upset, shocked or mad about being spanked, then it's probably a rare occurrence. If he's cringing and cowering from that parent, regardless of the severity of the spanking, then that raises big red flags for me, and I likely would take action.

Amanda - posted on 08/18/2011

I do believe in spanking. If I see someone spank their child in public I think they obviously did something they shouldn't have done and is nice to see someone being responsible for ensuring their child knows right from wrong. Would I do anything nope, unless there was abuse occurring.

While I was on vacation in NC last month I witnessed a 17 yo girl shoplifting a $7 shirt, her father was forced to come in and pay for it was was subjected to judgement and scornful remarks by the cashier to which he responded she is getting her butt whipped when we get home 17 or not. I told my SIL I am glad to hear that and she deserved what she got. As a parent I would rather be subjected to judgement for teaching my son right from wrong as opposed to have to be lectured for the ILLEGAL things my son has done and that I now have to pay for.

Jenni - posted on 07/25/2011

Ok, well let's use this hypothetical scenerio:

If you witnessed a parent ignoring her child screaming in a store and carried on with her grocery trip like nobody's business. Would you not judge? Be upset by her actions? Give her the evil eye?
What if she felt this was an appropriate way to discipline her child in public, by ignoring his outburst. Should you be forced to put up and shut up?

The thing is, it becomes everyone's business in public because it effects everyone else. I would not let my child scream for 20 mins straight in the store for sake of discipline because I know it effects those around me. I have consideration for other's feelings in public and respect. If *I was* a spanker, I'd opt to show the same respect otherwise, it does become everyone else's business who has to witness it.

Hannah - posted on 07/25/2011

Yes I spank my child, and I do it in public. If my child does something unacceptable it needs to be addressed immediately, not later. It is none of anyone's business what other parents do with their children in public, you have zero context in what is going on and so you have zero say. If you see some adult just straight molesting or beating a child fking intervene! Other wise keep your eyes and thoughts to your own problems.

Jenni - posted on 07/25/2011

@Shannin it is true, patting a baby's bottom helps them poop. lol A pediatric nurse gave me that advice. ;)



1. N/A



2. I honestly have never witnessed a parent spanking their child. Maybe I live in a bubble?



3. Id probably be a little horrified and shocked just because of my answer to #2. But if they were spanking within the laws of my region, I wouldn't intervene or call CAS. I would have to witness a few red flags before making a serious call to CAS. I wouldn't call on a parent who spanks within the laws. I have only called CAS on a neighbour *once* and other neighbours had also called. The woman use to let her 3 year old wander up and down the street in soiled panties. She use to allow her to wonder into neighbours she didn't know's houses. It had nothing to do with spanking but repeated observations of neglect.



4. I guess I answered that in #3.



5. It is other's business because some see it as abuse. I personally do not want witness it and I don't want my children witnessing it. I'd find it very upsetting, I can't help the way it would make me feel. That doesn't mean I'm going to walk up to the parent and start lecturing them. But I can't stop how I feel about it for the sensitivity of the parent doing the spanking. It probably would make me a little mad that my children would have to witness it.

Vicki - posted on 07/25/2011

well I AM judgemental and I do think it is abuse. but the law is the law. not that everyone knows it as marina pointed out. I wish it was illegal to do the 'legal form of spanking.' and yes, I give the dirty look thing. call it none of my business or tell me you'd let me have it or whatever...natural reaction for me. but what I won't do is say anything because I don't want to embarrass the child/ren that is being spanked. I can't imagine how degrading it would be to be publicly spanked and then on top of that hear someone speaking to your parent like they are a piece of shit. I think that would mess with the kids head and stay with them for a long time.

spanking or any form of discipline where you restrain/use your body to 'discipline' a child is always illegal in childcare. unless to protect other children (and don't mean spanking but blocking type thing and even then some centres have policies on that as in don't touch that child but remove all others - can cause more chaos IMO but whatever).

and what is this reporting thing and certain jobs? in canada all adults have the legal duty to report.

oh but must add that now as a mother I do think twice about what I might say to people in public when I am with the babies. what can I say...we live in a big city and lots of assholes out there. just never know. (and guess should also add that I didn't learn to keep my mouth shut so quickly as some of you may recall my calling a cop a cocksucker I believe it was when they were young). damn I am sooo classy.

September - posted on 07/25/2011

We don't spank. When I see other's doing it in public, to be honest I think gosh how embarrassing for the child but it's not my child so really it's none of my business how another decides to raise their children. Now if it was obvious abuse I would report it in a heartbeat. Just the other day while grocery shopping I saw a Mother snatch her toddler up (I'd guess he was about 2) by his arm and throw him into the shopping cart with one nasty look on her face, I felt really bad for the little boy but again it's not my child so I minded my own business.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/25/2011

The other day my 8year old was in a rush to put his bike away and get to his friends, he ended up putting a 3-4inch scratch on his Dad’s Cadillac Truck. That scratch will take a few 100$ to get out. Now despite the fact that he didn’t do it on purpose would not matter to some parents, that would warrant him a spanking for just being reckless.
His dad was ready to tear him a new one..but it was out of anger. Who would not be pissed about a 200-300 scratch on their nice car they take care of religiously every weekend???

But what I did was send him in the room for about an hour and then made him clean our block and drive way…it took him almost an hr to do that, all the his friends are having fun right in front of him and it was clearly torturous to him. After he was done I gave him a lecture about being more careful and aware when putting his bike away. did he learn his lesson…yes he know puts his bike on the side of the house and not right in front of the house.

So that is an example of another form of punishment to give a child when they mess up, but here’s the thing…not all kids would have went through with it..they would have stood there had a fit about cleaning, or yelled at their parent that they are not going to do it…ect

I would not say that is what EVERY parent should do with their child…I would suggest they at least try and see if it works.

For parents opposed to spanking instead of judging right off ask the parent what other ways have you tried to correct your Childs behavior and then give clear suggestions, how long should they try the “Time out” or “Taking away of things” or what ever you suggest don’t just go on and on negatively about their parenting, and don’t be smart ass and say Google it..LOL

Im sure if they are a great parent they will be open to other EFFECTIVE ways to teach their child

Sara - posted on 07/25/2011

Marina, so sad people do those things. I would have said something as well if I'd witnessed that. Here a spanking is defined as an opened handed swat to the rear end. Anything else can be determined to be abuse. ESPECIALLY if it leaves a mark. I have spanked my kids. My spanking is 1 swat on the bottom. I always tell them if you do not stop you will get a spanking. Then if they don't 1 swat on the bottom. Then I tell them if your behavior continues you will get 2 swats next time. I've never had to give 2 swats.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/25/2011

Hey, Dyan, I pmed you a question, I just know it can take forever for it to tell you that you have a message.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/25/2011

Spanking is such a touchy subject, even when done "properly" some consider it abuse. But people who are indeed abusing as I mentioned in my last posts, don't see it as abuse...they see it as "spanking". I feel there is indeed a difference between true abuse and spanking. I really hope that people step up and speak out instead of ignoring.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/25/2011

The people that I have personally witness "spanking" their kids in public have never EVER been a controlled "you did this, you are gonna get spank. (insert spank here) now you have been spank because of said action. Do not continue" It has always been an out of control smack in the face, punch to the head, hit in the legs, arms VERY hard and many times over and over until the high pitch whales of the child make heads turn and the people stop BECAUSE others are witnessing the out of control acts of a parent. But, here is the catch, some parents think this IS the way to spank or discipline.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/25/2011

Actually Tah, I have to fully disagree with you on most of what you said. How you are saying it is why society has become so rude and thoughtless....every man for him/herself attitude. If you do something in public, the public eye can be very critical and judgemental yes. I would HOPE that if I was getting abuse, mugged, raped, hit, emotionally abused, yelled at by someone, I really hope people would care enough to step up and help. It isn't their business, but if it is done in public....well it kinda is. Have you ever seen the last episode of "Seinfeld" where they all just stand there and watch an injustice done to a heavy man?!? The point of that was, you SHOULD step up and say something.

It is not the matter that if I say something cause I see you hit your kid, then you turn around and argue with me to mind my own business. It is expected, and if I do step up and say something in any of the situations I have mentioned, I expect some sort of backlash. The point is, step up and say something if you see an injustice happening. I have to commend people for doing that.

Amy - posted on 07/25/2011

If something my kids did deserved a spank, I wouldn't hesitate to correct the behavior right there. I haven't had to spank often, let alone in public.

Seeing other moms what I think - depends on what kid did. If the kid was doing something that deserved it, i'd think, right on momma. if they didn't deserve it i'd think, wow, harsh much, lady?

if it's something totally unnecessary and was just done to make her feel better - i have seen this and done this - then go, wow, i hope you got some of your anger out on that kid because they sure didn't seem like they were doing a DAMN thing wrong. and I said it very loudly so lots of others were aware of it too. IT's a small town. good thing about that - now tons of friends/neighbors know the mom stepped out of line - and they watch.

It's everyone's business and no ones. Hard to explain. If correcting poor or downright evil behavior [hey, my kids are no saints], then it is what it is and parents are doing what they know corrects it.

If it turns into abuse, anyone and everyone should step in. Even if you have to put yourself between the parent [dads spank too, hello] and the child. BAsically, it's not my business how other people raise their kids unless i see them beating on their kids. but...therein lies the problem. one firm spank on the butt is not abuse to me, but another person may consider it quite violent abuse to their poor lil rears.


Side note: I remember growing up and my mom would quite often say "you're getting a spankin' as SOON as we get home, young lady." and that was as good as getting spanked for me! lol. I was like..uh oh. i'm in trouble. better quit being a snot.

and also - each kid is different and we shouldn't assume to know everything about other families and how they work. i only needed a handful of spanks and i was done. my sister - spanking did NOTHING to correct her behavior. They had to take all her stuff away to get through to her.

Tah - posted on 07/24/2011

You'd only hope they just say something...just because you do something in front of me doesn't make it my business, what the people eat at the table next to me in a restaurant, not my business...what people wear..not my business and they have every right to expect I'll keep my mouth shut and opinions to myself..if everything everyone does when they step in front of me makes it my business when am I seeing to my own, that's tiring, I have my own life...some people need to get one.

Rosie - posted on 07/24/2011

that's fair enough tah, i say something you have every right to say something back. i just think it's ridiculous to expect someone to not have a reaction to something they disagree with if you are doing it right in front of them. just as i'm sure you'd think (and i also think) it'd be crazy of me to think that person isn't going to say something back if i say something to them, or roll my eyes or something. it goes both ways, i'm well aware of that. :)

Tah - posted on 07/24/2011

O kaleigh your not so old school if your telling people at the park to shut up..also, why do you need to tell them their concerns are noted..tell them to note that fact it's not their business and keep it moving. I guess I get irritated with people who can't just mind their business, I don't understand what it has to do with them.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/24/2011

Hahahahahahaha

Kaleigh - posted on 07/24/2011

I get uncomfortable when people make even positive comments/praise about my parenting, I'm old school though personal remarks of any kind are rude. That includes people shaking their head because I wont spank my kid, people telling me 'good for you for breastfeeding', people saying I have a nice ass, saying my earings look nice, making remarks about how cute nick and I look or people scoffing because I look too young to have kids. Opinions good or bad unless asked for are to be kept to your self. Now if someone expressed genuine concern because they felt me putting aiden in time out is abusive I would accept that, educate them, and reassure them that their concern was noted. I'm weird though, like I said oldschool.

Tah - posted on 07/24/2011

Also, I'm a nurse..lots of things skeeve me out...but I keep it moving..not my business. I sani wipe my cart and keep sanitizer in my truck...I can only control what I and mines do...

Tah - posted on 07/24/2011

You can judge..but you can also keep it to self..you just said the laws are vague, so who are you to decide what is going to cause emotional damage etc...it's NOT your business, it's not your child, you are not responsible for them. Put it this way, whoever gets called when that child breaks a window, acts up in school etc has the right to choose. I always wonder who is telling all these people it's their business????they are really aiming to get someone's feelings at the least hurt. Also..I never said they weren't judging, I said they weren't being rude about it. I was careful not say they weren't judging...call me whatever you want..in your head. Have an opinion, but keep it to yourself. Everyone is not the same and doesn't raise their children the same therefore you have no right to try and tell a parent how to parent or what constitutes parenting, tend to yours and I'll tend to mine. It's really that simple, but if you intervene, like you said fair game, and trust me, when I'm done you'll think thrice plus once more before you do it again...

Rosie - posted on 07/24/2011

they are still judging you whether they judge negatively or not though, that's my point. you simply can't do something in public and expect people to not have some type of reaction to it-whether it be positive or negative.and yes i do judge all of the things you've mentioned, either positively or negatively. i do have the right to judge whatever i see, or am i drone that should have no opinion on anything? lol. the whole not washing hands in bathroom thing skeeves the fuck out of me, i can't stand it when people do that, lol.

i got to reading the laws in my state and other states and they are pretty damn vague. my state saysChild endangerment includes using unreasonable force, torture, or cruelty which results in physical injury, is intended to cause serious injury, or causes substantial mental or emotional harm.
how do you know when it's going to cause emotional harm? what specifically is unreasonable force?

Sara - posted on 07/24/2011

It can be considered abuse for the Head Start staff to swat your children. Same as I cannot swat a foster child, but I can my own biological child. The Head Start woman was probably told if she swatted a child it was abuse. She took that to mean spanking was abuse. If you are in the United States then it is NOT illegal to spank your child on the bum with a open hand. Now, once you start smacking face, belly, chest and legs, OR if you leave a mark, use a closed fist, etc. THEN it can be considered abuse.

Tah - posted on 07/24/2011

People may have their views, which I'm sure the director does but can't regulate what is and isn't abuse and have people reported for it..doesn't make sense..it must be local, but it's still not right..I'd check into that if I were you. If my child attends headstart, and I open hand swat them to a covered bum leaving no marks, it's not abuse and she has no legal right to call it such.

Brittany - posted on 07/24/2011

I was told that spanking was concidered abuse by the Head Start dicrector in our area. So maybe it's a local thing.

I've gotten the deep sigh and roll of the eyes for time outs in public. It seems like no matter what type of discipline you use there will be someone upset about it.

Tah - posted on 07/24/2011

Nope cause they aren't being rude...so if you roll your eyes or shake your head at me in public, according to you it makes you fair game. I hope you do the same to people who don't wash their hands in a public bathroom, pick their noses and bums and threaten their children with time out when they get home or put their children in the cart as a form of discipline because they are acting out..if not then why are you doing it to those who spank??....because you are judging them for doing something you wouldn't do...

Rosie - posted on 07/24/2011

hope you give them the same attitude if they praised you for doing it too. if it's in public it's fair game, puhlease, lol.

Tah - posted on 07/24/2011

and just because something is done in public doesn't make it someone's elses business..puhlease...and if someone says something to me about it I'll tell them to wait their turn..and if they shake their heads , roll their eyes etc in a manner in which I know they want me to see that they don't approve I'll kindly tell them I don't need their approval as to how I raise my kids so they are welcome to mind their business.

Tah - posted on 07/24/2011

Kaleigh, I think people don't do do it in public anymore because of the people who are unlike you, the ones who think it's their duty in life to monitor, judge and intervene inmthings that aren't their business, like the way you punish your kids. So they will whip out their cell phones and call on the spot..heck with waiting until they get home.....but, as I said spanking isn't abuse so mandated reported..like teachers or those in healthcare, shouldn't be reporting unless it's abuse..that's where I think peoples own motives and views can tear a family apart, you call say I'm abusing my child in walmart because you don't agree with a swat on the bum and it goes from there. I have heard a cop suggest spanking to a former neighbor and explain what would and wouldn't be considered be abuse when the cops were called to her house..

Shannintipton - posted on 07/24/2011

I feel bad about this. When I was about 18 we were at Disneyland. This man from another country had slapped his kids hard in the face. I was shocked as was everyone else. But nobody did anything. I wish I had. I still remember it to this day. He was screaming at his kid in a foreign language but that still didn't make it right.

BTW

http://www.circleofmoms.com/ladies-bitch...

Rosie - posted on 07/24/2011

when i did spank, i would do it in public. when i have seen someone doing it in public i always got really uncomfortable, and didn't like seeing it. one of the things that made me rethink my stance on spanking.
do i interevene? i have only seen it twice and each time it was disturbing to me, but no different than what i did, soooo no i wouldn't intervene. i didn't do anything except think the lady was crazy and shake my head.
it is other peoples business when doing it in public, cause they are doing it in public. if they don't want someone to react positively or negatively don't do it in front of them.

Kaleigh - posted on 07/24/2011

Oh and I will say this I've been told that a quick smack on the bum in a busy store would be less offensive then me saying Aiden stay here please three times, thought that was messed up being told I'm annoying because I wouldn't just smack him and be done with it but yeah thought it related.