What is the importance of a father in a child's life (literately)

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 06/14/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

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can a child do just as well with only mom??

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Tah - posted on 06/22/2011

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I know that from daddy I learned what a man is supposed to be, do and how he treats his wife and children....it prepared me and helped weed out the losers and I always knew the kind of man I would marry and I did. I had many proposals..but I knew the ones who could never hold a candle to my daddy...and they didn't make it...I think it's very important to have that role model...

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2011

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I think Dads bring a whole new range of experiences to children. Science already shows the importance of rough and tumble play for children. As Mom's we do a lot of things but we can't teach a boy how to be a man. Obviously, not everyone out there has a great role model of what that means. In that case, a family friend or or other male family member may need to step in. Girls also need a positive male role models so they can develop healthy relationships later in life.

[deleted account]

This is pretty vague hun. I mean a child raised by a single mom can accomplish more than a child raised by both parents, some people have two emotionally detached parents while another can have a very attentive and supportive mom alone and end up more emotionally healthy than the first. Having an absent father doesn't condemn a child to poor relationships or a shitty future in general but of course having both parents is the ideal. There's way too many dynamics too like the difference between a child who's lost their father as opposed to a child who has a deadbeat dad. There are many successful people who learned a great deal being raised just by their mom who as a result of there not being a father present set an amazing example of how hardworking and focussed a parent should be.

I don't think there is a replacement for either parent, everyone has their role and brings something different to the table with regard to how a child is raised but thats not to say that just because one role isn't present that the child wont do as well as another. And what about step parents? Like are you talking about father figures in general or biological fathers alone?

Ebby you're gonna have to specify so I know which angle to tackle this debate from or as you well know I will ramble from her to next week lol.

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Baby - posted on 08/02/2013

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Where are you from if you don't mind me asking. I wish I had this experience with a daddy, and yes I think no one can truly and fully fill a daddy's role. I never used the word 'daddy' and had any kind of male figure to look up to or hug me so now that I have a daughter I have to make sure her father is in her life as much as possible because I want her to be confident with men too, unlike me :)

Anuchild - posted on 12/09/2012

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I consider hunter gather societies as the base for human social interaction. No, a father is not necessary. However, the mother must have a support base emotionally and it does take a village to raise a child. If a father is involved, and is a good one, then it is a good thing. But necessary?? No.

[deleted account]

Kaleigh, I just read the first part of your second post and.... when my son was a very young toddler... he was terrified of all women except me (including my best friend who he saw every day of his life), but would go up to and 'flirt' w/ any man in sight. Even at that age he KNEW what he was missing and he wanted it.

[deleted account]

No.

Let me clarify that a bit though. Many, many homes have no dad (or no mom) and the kids turn out just fine, but it is my extremely strong belief that kids NEED a dad (talking positive male role model... not just any scummy dude w/ some sperm).

In a best case scenario that role is filled by the biodad, but that isn't reality in many homes (including my own). The 'father role' can be filled by a stepdad, grandpa, uncle, close family friend, guy in a mentoring program, etc.., but I still don't believe it is 'as' good. My kids only see their biodad a few times a year and I SEE the void in them. Thankfully my girls have a good bond w/ one of my male friends which really helps, but they miss SO much. They haven't seen biodad in 6 months and are about to go there on Friday for 4 weeks. You should HEAR how excited my son is and he barely knows the man, but that man is 'dad' and my son needs him. Every kid he knows HAS a dad and that is what he wants too.

Kim - posted on 06/22/2011

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A child can do well in any family unit with two parents or one parent as long as their is stability and love.

Caroline - posted on 06/19/2011

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Positive role models of either sex are essential to a child's development for there to be balance, and this is not always the father. A mother who has her childs best interests will surely make sure that positive male influences are around. On the other side of the argument. a child can have a father who is around but isn't built for the job x we have good male influences in our sons life, so if my husband was not around then my son knows he can rely on his Grandad.

[deleted account]

I know for my son that his father being mia made him crave interaction with his godfather, his uncles, etc. more so than with his aunts or his godmother I mean if he were in a room with 20 women and one male adult he would bolt to that guy to play with. Since my hunni has been involved in his life that has almost completely gone away. There are subtle differences with him I've seen so I do think not having a male figure in a boy's life does have an effect on them to an extent. I do think though that having a positive male figure in his life even if they aren't biologically connected is just as well. I don't think anyone can argue that its better to have a negative biological father around than a positive non-biological father figure. I think what it all boils down to is girls and boys need an example of what they should expect. How they themselves should be and what to look for in a spouse and the dynamic between the two. The very first standard of how they expect a family should be is the one they see at home. If they don't get it at home though its possible to find elsewhere.

I was raised in a dysfunctional home but I spent the majority of my life at my aunt and uncle's so the way that that home was happened to be what I wanted to model my life after. They were affectionate with eachother, respectful, not exactly conventional but there was mom dad and kids, my uncle cooked and my aunt cleaned, they watched movies together and joked and laughed, they discussed everything with eachother and when my cousins and I got in trouble my uncle was the one to give us shit but if we were ever in a pickle and needed help he was there, my aunt was the one to go to when we had problems we wanted to talk about and she was the one who kept us on track with our responsabilities.

When I look around my home I see a lot of similarities and all the core aspects are there. The communication, the laughter, the affection. Nick is the disciplinarian but Aiden runs to him first when he's broken his toy and wants it fixed. When Aiden gets a boo boo he comes to me and I try to keep him on track with his behaviour. Nick even cooks and we watch movies together. I had an absent father and my mother was her own kind of special but I'm proud to say my kids aren't living in the same kind of environment I did and I think that having a different example is the reason why. Do I think fathers are important, sure but I think a decent substitue when one is absent works just fine too. That isn't to say a child needs a step father if their biological father isnt around, an uncle god father, family friend, etc. works just as well so long as they are a positive role model. I'm a firm believer that having an example of a well functioning family unit is the main thing though.
and if it weren't for fathers (even poor ones) we wouldn't all be mothers, takes two to tango and all.

So yeah I agree fathers are just as important as mothers, but if either one or both are unfit parental-figures work just as well.

Michelle - posted on 06/18/2011

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But it's also Often said, "Every Child needs a Mother's love". I know many children that grew up without a father, and are wonderful people. I also know a couple of teens that have grown up without a Mother, they are also good kids. Of course their is hidden sadness or resentment that those kids feel, but that's normal, and they have learned how to deal with those feelings. I think the question of "what's the importance of the father" is the same as what's the importance of the mother. It depends on the situation. My children's father is extremely important in my children's lives. Even if we were not together, I would never do anything to ruin his relationship with his kids. He is a wonderful man who takes the time to teach our children, he takes the time to hug and kiss our children. He is there to reprimand, he is there to wipe tears, he is there to laugh with. And so am I. We are both just as important as the other when it comes to our children. And I think that goes for ALL children. Unless of course, one of those parents, whether it's the mom or dad, is not a positive role in that child's life.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 06/15/2011

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LoL
Okay the debate IS do children actually need a father to be better adults? It's often said that children "need a strong male presence in their life"
What's the importance of a father are they even needed?

Amy - posted on 06/15/2011

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Can they do as well. sure. Can they do as well with just a dad. sure. Every person in a child's life in important. No matter if it's one person or 25. I'm with kaleigh. I'm wondering where this is going for a debate. Like as in..is a dad even needed or useless? My kids love and need daddy. But some kids' dads are horrible and they could do without him. Depends on the dad how important he'd be, I think.

Tah - posted on 06/15/2011

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I know a single mom can raise a great child. There are somethings a woman just can't relate to when raising a son. There things she can't teach. There are feelings she can't stimulate in a girl. The fathers role is very important.

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