10 yr old daughter will only dress in boy clothes and play with boy toys

Hannah - posted on 06/24/2012

she is probably just a tom-boy im 12 and i where basket ball shorts i love sliding i mud and i ride quads and i am fully aware that i am a girl its just my style and its probably hers to

Jennyqueen - posted on 05/15/2012

good advice i totally agree if your daughter is fond of wearing boy clothes :)

Julianne - posted on 05/14/2012

I think you did the right thing by ALLOWING her to choose to dress this way. My 13 yr old has been like this since she was 9. She surprised us this year by wearing a dress on Easter. But as she was growing, I would absolutely take her to the boys section to shop for clothes she liked (and honestly boys have the better sales and choices, and she fit the boys clothes better as well). My mom would push and push and say she NEEDS to wear girl clothes which would push her further and further into the boys (and now guys/mens section). I let it be and occasionally she would ask to go to the juniors or woman's section. So, I would tell your husband the more he pushes for the girl clothes, then she will want to wear the boys clothes more often. Given time she will wear occasionally girl clothes, but even now at 13 my oldest prefers the mens clothes (she fits into 20 boys or Medium shirts of ladies). She fits into size 7/8 LONG pants in juniors or even just 8 slims in womans/ So I think you let her choose what she is going to wear--even if it doesn't match as from your comment above, she doesnt care what others think and i think that is a terrific trait

Jennifer - posted on 05/13/2012

Please love and accept your child no matter what she wears or feels comfortable in. There is a possibility that she is Transgendered. This means that she feels she was born in the wrong body. If this is the case and she feels trapped and feels that she will not be accepted by her parents, there is a large possibility she will begin to cut herself or mutilate her genitalia. Do not let this happen. Let her know that you will love her with all your heart no matter what. I mean it is also possible that she just prefers boys clothing and even then, she needs love and support, especially from her parents. Parents are suppose to love and accept you no matter what you do or who you become, even if it isn't what they would have chosen for you. I hope you support her in whatever she does.

A parents love and support goes a long way in establishing a mentally healthy young adult and no matter what, this is what you want for your child. I wish you the best. ♥

Jennyqueen - posted on 05/08/2012

i think she will grow out of it but i don't know please don't be rude im only suggesting.

Ebere - posted on 05/07/2012

If I were in your shoes, I would take her shopping and allow her to pick anything she wanted but from the girls section only..I read a mom's post on a transgender kid thread who had almost the same issue, only that her daughter felt she was supposed to be a boy..she said she put her foot down and insisted her daughter shop in the girls section, but she let her pick whatever she wanted.. I'd also stop her from leaving the house if she were putting on anything outrageous, just the same way I'd stop a daughter who's putting on really skimpy tops or really short skirts. We are the moms afterall and they need our guidance.. But that's just my opinion..
Cheers ♥

Karen - posted on 05/03/2012

My daughter was the same way and refused any clothing not from the "boy" section. Pick your battles and decide what's really important. Let her be herself and develop her own style was my approach. My daughter was 14 before she decided to try a "girl" top and the response from her teachers and friends at school was positive enough she eventually and gradually adopted a more traditional girl look. She's 18 now and still loves basketball shorts because they are comfortable. I love that her "cheeks" aren't falling out for all the world to see as girly shorts tend to be getting shorter and shorter. There are some long term benefits to having a girl that chooses to dress as a tomboy, and as girly trends get tighter and shorter lately... my battles were more focused on cleaning her room, not having to keep her clothing modest. Peer pressure and clothing trends can be a source of agony for a parent. Embracing and supporting a child for who they are leaves the communication lines open, and encouraging her to be comfortable in her own skin... that's the ultimate goal in my house. :) Best wishes!

Carol - posted on 05/02/2012

I remember having the same fights with my mom when I refused to wear dresses and liked what most people would consider boy toys and played 3 sports since I was 6. I've never really grown out of it. Although at nearly 40 I've noticed that my butt does not look nearly as huge with higher heels on, but they come off as I get near the car. And I'm gradually letting my t-shirts get replaced with "nice" shirts since we moved into a foofier (sound it out) neighborhood where all the women put on make-up to get the mail - never did learn to put on anything but zombie makeup for Halloween. Your daughter won't die. If she hasn't already, she'll find other girls who don't love Barbie and those horrible Bratz dolls. If she doesn't, she'll find some boys that will agree to play with girls. If you support your daughter's clothing choice and your husband flat out refuses, how about bringing home some of the skimpy girl clothes that they make for babies-preteens. The ones that mimic the streetwalker Bratz or whatever-their-names are. He just might start appreciating boy clothes more. I think God pitied me or spared the girls by giving me 2 boys. My husband dated the head cheerleader in school, but he married me - ugly clothes, boy tastes, and all.

Mrs. TGI - posted on 05/01/2012

This maybe just a form of expression..at 10 they are still trying to figure themselves out..another year or two things may change if it doesnt evaluate your real concern and you two need to have a heart to heart talk...you can then express your concerns and whether you both can come to some type of agreement..