11 year old boy behavior

Debbie - posted on 09/04/2009 ( 96 moms have responded )

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My 11 year old boy doesn't take the initiative to do anything without being told to do so. I have to tell him to brush his teeth every night. I picture myself with a senior in high school having to tell him to brush. One of his jobs is to feed the dog every night. If I don't tell him every night to feed the dog, I guess he thinks she doesn't need to eat. I sometimes wonder if this is just him or is this typical 11 year old boy behavior. Does anyone know?

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Vanitha - posted on 09/06/2013

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Hi,
My son who is 11 years old is very harsh and not listenting to anything we say. He is beating his elder sister and also attempts to beat me. He use to study well before. But
Now he is lazy, put on weight and watching kids programme in TV and playing in computers.

Pl suggest to improve in his weight and tips for studies and to respect for elders.
tk u.

Theresa - posted on 03/04/2013

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I have exactly the same problems as everyone with my 12 year old son. He will eat something out of a bowl or plate and then just leave it on the counter like we have a maid who will clean up after him. Drives us all crazy!! At bath time he will just soak in the tub but won't wash his hair or body. He has to be reminded everything to do. I will wash his clothes and bring them up and he is too lazy to put them away so they sit in a basket all the time. He gets mad if he has to do anything. Like April, all he wants to do is do Xbox games. If you use this to punish him and take them away, he gets into worse trouble and will oftentimes destroy things out of anger. Did I mention he is in foster care and we were going to adopt him. We aren't so sure now. The honeymoon has long been over and the nightmare is ongoing.

Lydia - posted on 06/24/2013

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My son lives with his dad and visits me during his school breaks. He is doing the same. I have to tell him every single thing. If I call him out on something he didn't do. He shouts at me. He has an answer for everything. I have 2 months with him. I treasure everyday. I don't want to spend it arguing.
He is a loving boy and I know he is not having an easy time. How do I keep cool without loosing it.

April - posted on 03/04/2013

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Theresa, both of my kids throw their empty rappers on the floor and walk away. My husband cleaned our bedroom one day and it was spotless! I had bought the kids those squezzable yogurts and the very next day we found 4 of them in our bedroom floor! We had to sit the kids down and tell them that we work hard to keep the house clean and they need to appreciate it. So, now they have chores to do as well. My 9 year old daughter fills the dishwasher and my 11 year old son pick up all the stuff on the floor, then they have to clean the counter top where the eat together. I have found that they are not throwing things on the floor now that they have to clean them up! LOL. They both still whine about it and that is my major concern right now.
I spanked my children when they were younger to teach disipline and I stopped a few years ago, because I do not like hurting them and also they very rarely got into trouble. They were always good and all of our friends pointed it out, but now they are always in trouble. I think I may need to start spanking them again?! I hate doing that, but I bet they start acting right. I hope! And the xbox thing is ridiculous with my son! That and computer games is all he cares about. I am going to have to lay down the law! * My son had ADHD and isclinically depressed and that is why I do not know how to discipline him. I do not want to go to far with punishment and mess him up more. Anyone here with depressed children, that has good disciplinary advise?

Juanita Mc - posted on 04/04/2013

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Hi everyone...
I have an 11 year old son and my ex husband is totally absent...
I'm new to this site and find it very helpful indeed.Wow...I feel so much better that I'm not alone.I wish I could actually go into my whole history with you people but I surely don't want to bore everyone.I've been looking for answers to problems like these from real parents. My son is slightly different but overall very similar to the posts that I have read up until now.
I feel that he has a strong need for me to tell him every single thing that he needs to do...from flushing the toilet,brushing his teeth,taking his vitamins...you name it. I've printed out A4 notes and it's pasted all over the walls in his bathroom and bedroom where it cannot be missed but yet he still doesn't do it...?
When I take him on about it to try and figure out why he does it,he really seems disappointed in himself and other times I get the feeling that he really crave that attention.Maybe it's just my imagination but I've caught a giggle here and there,as if he did it on purpose to get a reaction...could it be?
On the other hand nobody else believes me when I try and find out whether he's only like this at home...Apparently he's an angel and always helpful. I have to admit he has been very well-mannered and is only starting to backchat for the past 2 weeks.
Why don't the doctors give us manuals designed uniquely for them as individuals on their day of birth..? Just asking...

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Kelly - posted 6 days ago

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To Kate Lobb,
Some children are affected by ODD, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Bi-Polar amongst others as my 10 year old son is and my husband and I are going through hell trying to get him help. He is defiant, doesn't listen, won't wear certain clothing, won't do simple things like throw laundry down the laundry chute. We have been dealing with Drs. for three years now and waiting for an appointment with the University of Iowa hospital to do a full evaluation on him for his behavior. So when you say you can't believe it and you are dumbfounded...you have NO IDEA !! My husband and I are great parents and raised 3 college aged kids just fined. It totally irritates me when people make comments when they have no clue what people are going through with their children!!!

Margaret - posted on 03/06/2014

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Sure some of these kids need discipline. Yet how many are getting punished and the behaviour continues. Not all parents are to blame for the bad behaviour of their teenagers. Sometimes its a neurobiological disorder, hormones or whatever!!! Parents of children who are subservient are truly blessed however if were you, I would reserve judgement on other families. Its not always your amazing parental skills that produce respectful, dutiful, children. Sometimes people have children that are just simply wild, ADD, oppositional, bi-polar... Their DNA makes them who you are and how a long-suffering parent handles these behaviours is the key. Patience, tolerance, letting trivial things slide so you can focus on the big issues. Some of these kids know how and when to pull the pin! The enjoy the explosions, the chaos. Its so hard not to lose it. Some children don't respond to traditional punishment. Yet they do respond to routine, strong boundaries and a sense of humour. Be consistent, don't give up. Enjoy a glass of wine cause you sure as hell deserve it!

Penny - posted on 02/26/2014

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I have a son of 16 and have never had problems that I am reading about here with my son. I have spent a lot of time with him though through these 16 years and we have talked about everything from a-z. I do believe the amount of time you put in with your children to raise them is what you will get back, as I also have a daughter of 26 too. I admit they both have tried me, but we never had to go there twice! I do not spank, but they have said they wish I would stop talking and give them the spanking so it would be over! Every time we ever had a problem to deal with I would give them the worst case scenario of what would and could happen with that behavior or incident and let them know how much I love them and because I love them, that there is no way I would ever let them act out in any wrong way anywhere without correcting and explaining what they did wrong and how to get it right, because I didn't want them to face societies consequences because I didn't teach them what they needed to know in life while they were being raised by me their mother!!! I would not have been a good mother in my opinion if I allowed my children to get away with the things I see children getting away with these days! I have also told both of them that if they didn't want to listen to me and respect me, then there were places they could go to teach them how to act in life, because I was not raising a child to grow up and end up in prison for hurting or disrespecting anyone, because I truly love my children!!!

Kate - posted on 02/20/2014

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i came across this site by accident . my son is 11 years old nearly 12 .he is nothing like this .he is a very good boy .if i tell him to get up he gets up .He will do his chores, because if he doesn't there is consequences . i am the parent stop being there friend and get on with it . you are there to love them discipline them and enjoy them but you are not there to make them happy thats there job . they can take it leave it . once you start adopting this attitude your kids will turn around . i cant believe this !!! im dumb founded

Sophia - posted on 02/19/2014

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Boys for the most part are all that. I have 3 of them.... Just think do you see more things in the house that are out of place and wish your husband could pick up the mess before you say help....

Iertasfloca - posted on 02/14/2014

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does a 14 year old want to really go to disneyland do you have any idea what his mind is like he probably has sex on his mind so much produces mre hormones than you did in your life and is masturbating every time you close that door and say good night i mean i was smoking weed every day when i was 14

Iertasfloca - posted on 02/14/2014

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yea i know this is all very good information guess what you have a normal boy i mean I'm 18 I'm not a mom I'm a guy who rebelled so much because of to strict of parents i almost died on overdose because when i turned 18 i felt like i was free i know better my girl friend helped me but here a quote if you have sand in your hand and sqeuze it what happens it slips from your hand but when you keep your hand open where does it go? it stays in your hand something a mother can do thats the most harmful to a child is restriction or punishment there a word I've always hatted (discipline) it makes my teeth grind my suggestion is find a good balance when your son gets into high school theres an 80 precent chance he will try weed well weed is not a gat way drug so its not the end of the world it doesn't even lead to harder drugs drug dealers lead to harder drugs but if your kid doesn't listen well i did the same---so did you put yourself in your sons shoes

Jennifer Lynn - posted on 01/28/2014

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My stepson is the SAME WAY....HE lies right to our faces I have to have his guidance counselor send me a list of his h.w. EVERY week or he will not do it.. I read that it is normal...I know when I was his age I had many responsibilities...he can not even remember where to put his dirty laundry...I put LARGE signs everywhere AND I have a dry erase board we write all the things he needs to do and he still forgets!!!Hoping that article is right and that this will pass..good luck to you...

Michelle - posted on 01/13/2014

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My son is 14-years-old. I have to tell him to feed the dog every single day. It's been his chore for four years! A lot of times he fills the dog bowl with food, and leaves the water empty. The bowls are right near each and there is a washtub sink right next to the food. I also have to tell him to empty garbage/recycle bin. He is underweight but won't eat unless I fix him something, except for cereal or hot pockets. He could easily "forget" to eat all day. He does brush his teeth but it was a problem when he was your son's age. My son does well in school; he's in advanced placement. He is also in marching band and drumline, thank God, because band is the only thing, besides video games, that he has a passion for! He rarely goes outside and he's antisocial except with band, during band. He does not hang out with band friends outside of a band event. He's clearly unmotivated. He won't do anything with his family. He probably would decline a trip to Disneyland! Drives me nuts. Any suggestions?

Helen - posted on 01/10/2014

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My son is the exact same. He will spend an hour in the bathroom until we remind him to brush his teeth. He'll do anything but brush his teeth. He plays percussion on the sink, he dances, he'll sing. It's so frustrating. We call him on his behaviour and he says he'll improve but we're back to square one the next day. He also has ADHD and ODD. He's also constantly arguing with us, but no matter what he does he says he didn't do anything wrong. We don't know what to do.

Deborah - posted on 12/28/2013

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I also have this exact same problem, I often wonder where I'm going wrong and will he ever find the motivation? Is it me and my husband failing?

Debra - posted on 12/20/2013

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Next time he doesn't listen, grab him by the wrist, take him to his room, take down his pants and bend him over your lap. Smack his bare butt until he's learned his lesson! (joke :p)

Storm - posted on 12/16/2013

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I have a 12 year old as well, he is sweet at times but has mood swings everyday is different. He has behavior issues at school I have to push him to do his homework projects,,, etc. at home I am having the same issues. There has been a change that its embarrassing for me but I need help! My grandmother caught him on top of his 8 year cousins as they were watching a u- tube video on her phone, when he saw my grandmother he rolled off her, when my grandmas asked my niece what was that all about she said he had been kissing her cheeks, but my niece never told him to move or made no noise. now I have a 3 year old daughter and as sad as it sounds I don't trust him alone with her. My son is not perverted his never done nothing to out of control but this past weeks the sexual comments to classmate teachers and now with action is caring me. He is going through body changes when I asked him what he was thinking when he was on top of my niece he said he didn't know, I asked him if he felt something he said yes. I freaked out but tried to stay calm with the situation. I was molested at the age of 5 and that's why I get so paranoid when I hear this things, he well knows that it happen to me and I have talked to him about the consequences of those actions. please ladies any advice? I think its time for medication since his Dr. said it can help him focus in school but the side effects is what I am worry about. He has had tests for behavior HDHD I think that's what its called but it comes back ok. His father also talks to him but its like it goes in one ear and out the other. I am so overwhelmed...

Laura - posted on 11/26/2013

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Okay, I have the same kinds of issues....BUT I also have the mouth/attitude from hell! He treats me awful and I am not having other people point it out to me and it is getting embarassing!! It is causing issues with my bf and I on how disrespectful he is to me. Any tips for this would be greatly appreciated!!

Tina Kaske- - posted on 11/18/2013

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Hi, I can relate, so hard when suddenly everything just feels " hard". I did find a great high school sr. To meet w/him Wednesdays after school to talk about school, friends, homework. It's been helping alittle, but when he gets mad and lashes out at me verbally, etc... It's very tough to " not" react..and just know it'll pass. We lost both my parents last year, it's been hard for him, I know...he was the only grandchild and has been adored by us all since birth, so it's hard when he's hurting and in a way takes it out on me...he is very aware of my unconditional love. Help!?? Tina (misstinak@ yahoo.com)

Tina Kaske- - posted on 11/18/2013

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Hi, my son is ten and this year has been tough because we ARE so close, but he too will not lift a finger to help...we taught them better, right? We'll, if I remind him to make his bed or anything, it becomes a battle, and it just wears me out, how are you holding up? Thanks, Tina - my e- mail is misstinak@ yahoo.com

Sarah - posted on 10/30/2013

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can any one offer my advise, I have a 11 year old step son who has very stange behavour which I dont know how to deal with, he comes to stay with us ever weekend, he has no social skills what so ever he has no manners he eats his food like a cave man, taking him any where is embrassing as he jumps round his dad making monkey noises he dad says nothing at all and just carriers on, this does not last for a short while this lasts the whole time we are out, when at home he walks round the house kissing a toy monkey and when I speak to his dad he puts the monkey in his face, his dad says nothing at all, not even hang on mate I am talking, I dont know how to handle it I just want to say put the monkey down but dont feel its my place, he does not use a knife and fork to eat meals and uses his hands, I have tried to help him use his knife and fork and his dad says leave him, I feel for the little lad as he is not being tought any life skills, I have tried to speak to his dad but he blanks my and carriers on, what do I do

Shelley - posted on 09/29/2013

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Wow - I cannot believe the stuff these kids get away with, I got on here for help with my 11 year old son, but compared to these kids he is awesome. I read about kids beating on sisters, and mothers, throwing wrappers on the floor and on and on, and people say that it is typical behavior??? For who? It is not a harder age than any other, give me a break and discipline your kids! And 11 year old do not need phones, my gosh! And guess what if you don't have computer games and don't let them watch hours of TV, they will have to use their minds and imaginations to do things! They all need chores from 2 years on - and all need to be active! This blows my mind!

Brandi - posted on 09/19/2013

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my v11 yr old daughter is the same way and even lies when i ask if shes done something im ready to freak

Rosella - posted on 09/10/2013

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I know what this is, LAZINESS. Mommy he's 11 not 2 if he doesn't do something you need to take away something he cares about till he steps up his game. if he wants his phone back then he needs to show you and it has to be something he REALLY loves for example: my daughter loves her phone and when i took it from her she acted exactly how she was supposed to. let me know if i helped :)

Mitzie - posted on 08/16/2013

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I have s 11 yr old and he is exactly the same as your son and idont what to do my son doesn't want to study he not interested in dchool work I hired a tutor for the summer and he still having trouble doing his homework from tutor he doesn't. Do any thing. Unless I keep repeating myself does snyone any ideas to help

Hallie - posted on 05/05/2013

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the helpful, sweet wonderful Montessori child has been replaced by a surly alien....it's the age and the hormones and the way it goes with boys, I guess. When asked to help do something recently at a friends lake house, he said "let's just go home, mom"...he would rather do ANYTHING than help, clean or exert...I use the same trick I used when he was 2 and about to blow...diversion...and it usually works for a bit. He is still that sweet child somewhere under the absolute stink...it just gets sketchy at this age and they have a few secrets/thoughts/feelings they don't know how to express...they will grow out of it and they will become adults.....it IS exhausting, but worth it to just stay on top of them. I use notes. there are ridiculous notes allllll over the house. If he doesn;t want to be embarrassed by silly mom notes, then he does the task said note requests. I am not above shaming him into submission and will also never hesitate to embarass him on purpose if he refuses to hug or kiss me when I drop him off someplace/school...I just roll down the window on his side of the car and very loudly proclaim "you're right, Morgan, she IS cute!"....matters not at all to me...horrifies him into a hug and I get to laugh all day instead of stressing over why he wonlt show me affection. He is a straight A kid and he trusts that I am the boss. But I tease him and we laugh. a LOT. and I holler. some.

Theresa - posted on 03/04/2013

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I used to be clinically depressed myself April until I started exercising. Is your son involved in sports? When I started walking and losing weight I am no longer depressed at all. Not sure if this would help but activity helps a lot.

Theresa - posted on 03/04/2013

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Debbie Shields I feel exactly the same way. Heaven help us. If something is on the floor, my son will step over it rather than pick it up. My son would pick clothes off this bedroom floor and wear them over and over and would never take a bath unless I tell him to. He has even told me that. He wants someone to tell him everything to do in a nice voice. Rules: Take a bath and bring your clothes down to be washed. Nope, he won't. He will throw them in his closet. Every day is Ground Hog day at our house.

April - posted on 03/04/2013

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My 11 year old son is also this way. He whines all the time, no matter what I ask him to do: brush your teeth, take a shower, get up and get ready for school, take out the trash, do your homework....it is always a fight with him. He is about to fail 5th grade, because he doesn't care about anyting except xbox games. He only has 1 friend and gets bullied at school as well. I don't know what to do anymore. I thought about just whining about everything I have to do for him, so that he can see how ridiculous it is. One day he was whining about having to clean off the counter of the bar where the kids all eat dinner, and I was cooking dinner so I started whining about having to cook the food and he started laughing and cleaned the counter. It was a nice change in scenery! It is not full proof though. LOL.

Romila - posted on 02/18/2013

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OMG thats me too. My 11 year old drives me crazy. He also wants to sleep in my bed and has ever since. His my only son and baby of the house so spoilt to bits. He tells me his scared to sleep alone. Doesnt do any work around the house or help me or his dad,HELP

Heidi - posted on 02/13/2013

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I am a mommy of 4, son age 11, girls are 10,5,3 and i also run an iinhome daycare. i live and learn everyday a new "trix" or ways to handle and resolve issues with all my kids. I have learned NOT to compare the 11 year old with the 5 year old. it makes them dislike there younger children. I have tried the nice "lets talk it out" with my 11 year old boy. i now as just sraight up hard core with him. If he forgets to feed his dos then "his ds,computer,or his legoes, scooter" happens to go missing! He will ask mommy where my "......" i say hummm how come you have time and can rember where you put that but not your dogs food bowl.. i am also taking responsablity in waking them up early to go walk there dogs and no tv,ds,scotter UNTIL all his chores are complete. I also take my 11 year old with me by himself shopping,bank,store ect withNO elecric aloud so he "talks in his own to me". Also i help out in his classrom at school and watch him on the playground(he doesnt know sometimes) to see how he treats and acts at school. The more they act up the closer you need to keep them closer in sight. ive learned too that when grandma want a few kids for over night i send 1 older and one younger chilld together abd NO electronics, make them engage in onversation,baking, pretty much "old school" activities together. OMG my keys keep sticking- sorry about all the half/miss spelled words. currently as i type this y 11 year old and 5 year old are fighting over how to spell "birthday.. B-day......Birhday". OMG!

Lesley - posted on 01/25/2013

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OMG. I am going through the same thing. My 11 year old son is driving me out of my mind. How can he 'forget' to do the things I ask him when my 5 year old remembers?? I hope it gets better.

Leanne - posted on 01/13/2013

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My son does nothing I tell him to do without eventually hounding him. He is an honor roll student yet acts like he does not know how to do anything. He also calls himself Awesome. Not for mom! He has had 2 duties to do weakly for 2 years. Same thing, and does not care that he could get an allowance if he would just do it without being asked. I would not even mind reminding him once or twice. He says he can not remember, this is why I mentioned his good grades. I remind him many times before evil momma comes out. Then I feel like my head is going to spin and spew green goo. Please tell me this is a phase.

Alecia - posted on 01/09/2013

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Elizabeth, just like you, I take the child's feelings into consideration first because it can affect them greatly. Only the courts should decide where the child should be because it gives the child protection if they are with a good person. You would have to prove she is unfit. If he's been with her for a while, the court will take into consideration that he will be uprooted and have a lifestyle change that they will only allow if the environment is unfit. It can be a long and agonizing process but if you think he's better off with you then you should attempt to take custody. I am assuming there is no will and nothing noted.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2013

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Belia,
Right! Your son should be concentrating on school not girls; he's too young at the same time he's trying to discover who he is and his sexuality. Have you had the talk with him yet? Might be a good time to do so. better to be save than sorry now a days.
You did well in telling him his time will come; don't be in a hurry to grow up.
Elizabeth

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2013

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Belia,
Right! Your son should be concentrating on school not girls; he's too young at the same time he's trying to discover who he is and his sexuality. Have you had the talk with him yet? Might be a good time to do so. better to be save than sorry now a days.
You did well in telling him his time will come; don't be in a hurry to grow up.
Elizabeth

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2013

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Belia,
Right! Your son should be concentrating on school not girls; he's too young at the same time he's trying to discover who he is and his sexuality. Have you had the talk with him yet? Might be a good time to do so. better to be save than sorry now a days.
You did well in telling him his time will come; don't be in a hurry to grow up.
Elizabeth

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2013

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Belia,
Right! Your son should be concentrating on school not girls; he's too young at the same time he's trying to discover who he is and his sexuality. Have you had the talk with him yet? Might be a good time to do so. better to be save than sorry now a days.
You did well in telling him his time will come; don't be in a hurry to grow up.
Elizabeth

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2013

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Hi Jenny,
Oh boy you have your hands full dear!! I had a friend who was in a similar situation but her son was only around 3 or 4 years old. He used to run into the high chair with his baby brother in it and knocked over the chair, stabbed his mother in the back with a knife and his father too and a lot more. When my friend took him to the doctor you wouldn't believe what he doctor said! That the boy was bored and has a very high IQ! I had to move out before i had a nervous breakdown, now he has a family of his own serving in the army and just received a metal for helping fight terrorist, Hard to believe huh?
Have your son evaluated by your doctor ok,
Good luck,
Elizabeth

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2013

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Hi Julie
You have done the right thing for your grandson, Congradulations!!! I wish the other grandma would do the same thing you did, i think it would help a great deal with my grandsons behavior. My grandson always has his ipod touch in his hands and it's hard to get his attention, she tells him to put the ipod down while on the phone with me, very frustrating to us!!
Do you have any suggestions?
Elizabeth

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2013

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Hi Alecia,
Thanks for your nice reply. I don't know how i have managed to put up with this mess so long, she is a very difficult person to deal with, I believe that she is bipolar, with her constant mood swings, I feel stress everyday and worry about my grandson and his feelings and the stage he is going through. At times i almost called CPS because of her behavior, but then i think how he would feel because of his love for her. But i am keeping a close eye on things and if i ever hear that she has hurt him, i am going to put a stop to this and bring him home with me! I feel my daughters spirit from up above and she is restless because her son is with the other grandmother and she wanted him to be with me and i promised her i would look after him and give him what he needs. What would you do?
Elizabeth

Alecia - posted on 01/07/2013

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Elizabeth, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I tell everyone that if something happened to my son, they better strap me down and put me in a padded room because I don't think I'd handle it well. I don't understand why the other side of their families, sometimes, have to make things difficult. I hope you are able to see him more often, soon. I guess all we can do is try our best to teach them about what's important in life and to give them positive reinforcement. The world is so crazy that I can't believe I brought a child into this mess. I feel bad for them. Best wishes to you. I hope you find peace in your heart very soon.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/07/2013

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Hi Alecia,
I can;t wait until this phase is over too. It;s heartbreaking to see this behavior of not wanting to stay over longer like before; use to be at least 3 days during his break. last spring my husband and i took him on his first flight to Las Vegas and we had a great time together. My husband invited my grandson to come on vacation with us on his next break in Spring and he didn't seem to excited to go, and asked me if he went with us would i still get him a laptop like mine. i told him of course i would get him his laptop for his birthday in August; the trip is a invitation from us. So we'll see what he decides later. i hope he comes with us so i can have more quality time with him. who would of thought that our kids would favor being with friends more.
I remember when my daughter hit around 12 all hell broke lose! Trouble in school, being suspended for smoking ..I was shocked because i am not a smoker' but she was greatly influenced by friends. i hope and pray that my grandson doesn't take that same path. The other grandmother does smoke and drink and their friends.. Dad not around for years! and it's better this way. Can't talk about what happened with him; but if you only knew what my daughter went through. Sad, very sad. I made a promise to her that i would look after and raise him, make sure he finishes school and hopefully go to college. My daughter passed away on March 7TH, 2007 while in the Hollywood area, just a couple of months before she turned 27. I thought i was going to die when i received the call. It doesn't get easier through the years, and it would be nice if the other grandmother would be more compassionate and not be a stick in the mud when i want to see my grandson. Really; if it was for me our grandson wouldn't be with us. I hate being in this position because i don't have proper housing yet, but soon things will change.
Does anyone have any takes on this please?
Elizabeth.

Alecia - posted on 01/07/2013

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My 11 year old is acting the same way. I feel like he has "0" motivation no matter how hard I have worked on teaching him and disciplining. I can't wait until this stage is over..

Elizabeth - posted on 01/01/2013

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My 11 yr old grandson is going through the same stage. if i don't tell to do certain things he doesn't do them, it can be very frustrating at times. i think it;s because their bodies are changing and are trying to figure out what's happening to them. they are tweens; a child turning into a teenage adolescent.
What hurts is that he said he really doesn;t like to go anywhere at break time; wants to be with his friends all the time on their ipods!
I tell his parental grandmother that i need to see him more than 1 or 2 nights because of the distance between us .but she puts it like she doesn't want to force him
My daughter wanted him to be raised with me and it has been very difficult situation because i do not have a room for him and he sleeps on the airbed and the couch when he visits me; i am getting a new mobile home to change the situation so he would want to spend more time with me and my husband' he always has fun here with us.
He is being influenced by the other grandparents because of stupid jealousy and so on' I was his first mother until he was 10 months old' daughter passed away when he was only 5 and you can only imagine how hard it has been' he is everything to me'
anybody else going through this?

Trinette - posted on 11/24/2012

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Sounds like we got the same thing going on with our boys regarding brushing and doing simple important tasks. You should google and find pictures of decaying teeth to show to your boy



Also, I hope that you don't have an x-box in your home. I recently removed the x-box from my home. I can't believe that I allowed my son to become addicted to it. I hope other moms read this and take back control of their kids who are consumed with the x-box. I urge parents to google and read up on crazy x-box kids.

Jenny - posted on 10/28/2012

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Help!! I have an "out of control" violent 11 yr old who tried to kill his 13 yo sister and is dreaming of knives and devils- YET wait for it - the physc hospital said he is just naughty and nothing wrong!

Put consequences in action for trying to " stab" sister!

I am ready to sign him to Foster care" before he destroys OUR FAMILY.

OR worse still ... REALLY HURTS SOMEONE

I don't know what is next step- BUT he can't live in our home this way- OR MY HUBBY AND I WILL BE COMITTED!

Julie - posted on 10/26/2012

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Hi everyone I'm so pleased to find out my Grandson who is in my care is normal what ever that may be. he started seniors (High school USA) and all of a sudden I thought someone had kidnapped my Grandson and left another child he suddenly became disrespectful disregarding anything I said to him refusing to do any chores, lying, I've tried grounding, banning TV , banning certain people he was hanging around with at the moment all of his electronic gadgets have been removed from his bedroom, Before September he was the most respectful, gentle who would do anything for me. I had only cared for girls 2 of my own and some foster children also girls apart from a couplle of very young boys so did not have anything to compare with

both my daughters had adhd with moderate learning challenges they where easy compared to my grandson who is 11 I have told him I will always love him however sometimes I told him he was not a very nice person this usually makes him think although it does not last long lol.

Belia - posted on 10/12/2012

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my boy is 11 yrs old and am a single mom: he makes questions i dont know how to answer, i want to give him answers d right way in a way he would not feel offended or hurt; he asked me why his friends had girlfriends and he dont have one yet to me school should be his only concern and most important but instead i said just gie it time

Jennifer - posted on 10/11/2012

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Sounds alot like my 11 year old boy! He wanted a german shepherd for his birthday so bad. He told me that he wanted him so much that that he would love ,feed, play with teach him tricks and so much more for weeks... so i got him his dog. All he ever does is complain when the dog follows him around or if i ask him to go outside with him or to do anything for that matter. i also have to remind him to do simple things like brush his teeth, idk it seems like my boy is negitive most o the time. i think we need to teach our boys responsiblity, hard work . but somehow the feeling you get when you accomplish something you've worked so hard for.. maybe our sons would be more egar to do things for themselves, then us moms naging all the time... but how do we do that????

Mary Lou - posted on 10/10/2012

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Hey my kid acts the same way, that's why I looked on this site was to get some answers on why they act the way they do. So glad to know I'm not the only one!!

[deleted account]

My 11-year old is also very imaginative, playing star wars and army. I think it's natural for certain boys this age who have been encouraged to be creative through hands-on play. It's something to celebrate. They'll eventually out-grow it - cherish it while it lasts. He does procrastinate as well - has to be reminded to do homework and set the table, etc. and tunes me out. But, I've recently started to take a different approach with good results: Give him choices and hand over the responsibility - don't bail him out. And say it only once. Don't nag. Make it his problem. Fortunately, he's good about brushing his teeth and decent abt showering most of the time, but some of you may want to try the following: tell him that it's his choice if he wants to shower, brush his teeth, feed the dog, do homework, clean up his room. Empower and Encourage. Remind him that if he chooses not to do any of these and other responsibilities, there will be directly-related consequences that he'll have to live with. For example, if he doesn't shower, eventually he'd start to smell and have greasy hair and if he doesn't brush his teeth, he'd have bad breath and his teeth would start to decay! Show him pictures on-line of rotten teeth! Feed the dog? Well, we all take turns feeding our pets. If he doesn't do homework and do his best in school, he may not stay up with the class (embarrassing, may not pass with classmates / friends, etc.) Encourage every day the small 'baby steps' freely and without expecting anything in return "it was mature and responsible of you today to brush your teeth... put your underwear in the hamper...thank you". Help him feel like he belongs and is welcome. And pay kids for chores that are above & beyond the regular duties of everyone in the house (cleaning up, setting the table, taking out garbage) - like washing the windows, trimming the hedges, etc. I find that limiting tv and video games helps improve the mood and respect-level too. As parents listen to cd's like "Why Children Do The Things They Do" and read parenting books / books on cd in the car. I hope some of this helps!

Kimberly - posted on 03/23/2011

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I am so glad I found this blog, seriously, I have a three year old and an 11 year old at the same time, both boys. I cried today because they exhaust me...I feel normal after reading all of this about normal 11 year old boy behavior, thank you for the support! Even though there is an age difference, they fight and pick at each other on top of not listening or feeding the dog, brushing the teeth, taking a shower, remembering simple chores....I feel stronger now. Round 300, here I come.

Victoria - posted on 10/03/2009

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Thank goodness for all these responses, I was really starting to lose my mind with my 11 year old! Its good to know this is all normal 11 year old boy behavior. Having said that I cannot wait for this stage to pass! Now if I could only find a way for him to keep his mouth shut in class and stop getting in trouble for talking all the time it would be great!

Yudit - posted on 09/28/2009

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It seems that 11 year old boy behavior is the same all over the world! It's nice to hear that it's not something we've done wrong as parents, and also to hear that he'll grow out of it.

It also means we appreciate it when they do something unexpected - I went upstairs tonight to tuck in my daughters and found my 11 year old son tidying his room. I asked him "What are you doing?" "Oh, I'm tidying up" he replied. "Why?" I asked, thinking that I had not asked, begged and pleaded with him to do that today (I asked yesterday and nothing got done!) "Mum, have you seen what it looks like in here?" he asked.

Not sure if he is ill, or has been abducted by aliens, but it was a good thing!!!

Dana - posted on 09/22/2009

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AHHHHHHH I am not alone I was wondering if there was something wrong with me and my 11 year old boys behavior lol.He went as far as to run water through his hair but did not step foot in the shower My husband caught him, or uses no shampoo or just soap in the hair or he will run the shower and never step in and .......I could write a book on how to avoid cleanliness He also enjoys lying I told him he is a great actor

Robyn - posted on 09/10/2009

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I have an 11 year old boy, and have had some issues with him also. Someone told me this is the age that they start doing these kinds of things, so I'm glad to read on here that it's typical 11 year old boy behavior not just my son. I had alot of problems even getting him to take a shower. One night he was talking to his aunt and I brought the subject up and he has gotten much better since then, but I do have to still remind him. The good thing is he don't refuse to get in the shower anymore now! I think it embarrassed him enough to finally get him to listen to me.

Katrina - posted on 09/08/2009

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I don't know if it is typical but is sounds like you are describing my 11 year old boys behavior. I guess it is just Testosterone coming in..

Yamara - posted on 09/06/2009

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I myself have an 11 year old boy, who I have to remind everyday to do his chore, brus your teeth, "did you shower" I believe boys go through these stages til they are about to go to high school. I say this because I also have to older boys who I went through the same situations... It will get better as time goes on. as far as feeding the dog, I think you can try right around the time youare going to feed him turn to the dog and ask your dog in front of him did you eat today, and watch his expression. You may also want to tell him at this time you see mommy doesn't forget to feed you. So you must not forget to feed yur dog ! I went through a similar situation with my son and our cat. but he does not forget to feed the cat a longer because one day I asked the cat did u eat today, and he laughed so I asked him why are you laughing and he said because the cat can't answer you and I said no he can't so there fore you have to be the eyes and ears for the cat. That is your little reminder did your cat eat today. Then I asked him do I ever forget to feed you and he said no so I said its the same way with the cat ! and so farso good ! I wish you the very best ! He willget there. Typical 11 year old boy behavior !

Kriss - posted on 09/05/2009

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Definitely typical 11 year old boy behavior. Over the summer my 11 year old has gotten worse about this. We have to ask him to do everything in order for him to remember. Basic chores he has done for a long time, he can't seem to remember what they are. Hoping this doesn't last long cause it's driving me crazy.

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