11 year old boy homework routine after school

Henna - posted on 05/20/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My 11year old boy started high school this year and we are still struggling with the homework issue! He puts sheets in his blazer or misplaces them, doesn't do homework on time and then when I find out we cram it into one night!! This is very frustrating and I seriously need to get him into a routine after school. We are usually home between 4-4.30 and then he plays the 'Ive been working all day at school can I pls relax and play on the ps3 and do homework later', I give in which I know I shouldn't and then get distracted cooking or doing homework with my 9 year old and then things slip!! Please help! Thank you.

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Jeramie - posted on 05/21/2013

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Schedule a mandatory study hour sometime in the evening, so he has to sit and do homework every single day. Even if he doesn't have any assigned work to turn in, he still has to study during this hour. This way, "I don't have any homework, so I'm gonna go play PS3," is not an option. There is always Something to do: reread lecture notes, practice more math problems, read a textbook, etc... When he gets used to the idea that he has to sit at the desk and work no matter what, He'll realize he might as well get a jump on that assignment that isn't due till next week.

Maybe if you want to allow him to choose which hour to make study time, that would help him accept this rule. if you don't want to do homework right when we get home, fine, but choose a time that you will sit down every day and focus, maybe the hour before or after dinner every day.

Kirsten - posted on 05/22/2013

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I think kids absolutely need a break after school. We have done it both ways and having the break definitely works better. He has been in school all day and everyone needs to recharge their batteries at some point, kids included. I don't let our son play video games during his break, we reserve those for after if there is time or he chooses but he can go outside and play or play with his sister or something else before he starts on hw. Good luck!

Amber - posted on 05/21/2013

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He absolutely needs a break after school. Homework has always bugged me because not every household has that "study hard" kind of environment. After his break -not to be confused with a reward, he needs to bang out the questions and assignments he is comfortable with first. If he gets stuck, tell him t skip it a d get back to it later. Once he's done with what he can do without assistance, allow him to google search solutions. YouTube has great video to help kids understand how to execute a problem. If he stays stuck after that reassure him what he's doing right. He'll catch on to the harder stuff later. He needs to remember this stuff does show up on test later on....so at the very least he will need to be learn strategies to becoming a "smart tester". For example: if the problem 3 4/5 - 1 2/15 shows up on a test -without doing ANY work at all he can see 3 - 1 = 2 WHOLES. That might eliminate a few options from A,B, C or D. Even if he guesses the guess will have more strength behind a strategy. For spelling, get that kid a cell phone and tell him to send text messages with a sentence using his spelling words to friends and family. If he already knows how to spell a spelling word, there is no scene is practicing it, so skip it and focus on his weaknesses. His weeknesses are only week until he strengthens them! He might have a lot of bad days. Remind him bad days seem like they last forever but nothing last forever except the choices that we make -left behind in our past. His bad days will evolve. They will either get better or get worse but they will NOT stay the same. And it's up to him to see how that change morphs. And it might be hard to admit but kids blame their parents every day for the decisions they themselves are making. Look at him and tell him you give him everything you know and understand. Not every choice will have an explanation. Spread your arms wide and say "I give you this much." Then bring your arms down and bring your pointer finger and thumb close but not touching....and say "but you will only take this much of what I give you." "Because the rest is who you are! And I can't change that. And it can't be my fault you don't get your work done because you feel entitled!" Offer a reward system during this small lecture time. If you get a 100% on spelling or do homework every night, I will pay for your movie ticket and you can see a flick with some friends. Or offer study dates. Friends can come over everyday after school IF it is related to homework and study. Whatever you do, don't be a pushover. If the agreement couldn't be achieved simply don't allow the reward. Simply say "maybe next week." Simply say "Im serious this time." Simply say "It was YOUR choice." Set the bar high. If he falls slightly short, have talk with him and surprise him with the reward or a different reward after. Remind him rewards come in the form of bonuses and paychecks when he grows up and if he can get a job that can rely on him and trust him, he will have vacation time too! And have something to look forward to every year and won't have to work everyday like so many people do. And other benefits. When he does do well eventually -allow him to take in the moment. Really exaggerate the feeling of accomplishment. Be proud! Really proud! That feeling only exist in deserving people and he deserved this! And he can have that everyday if he wanted.

Kathleen - posted on 05/20/2013

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Kids will delay as long as you allow it. Get tough. Make him do it right away. Then he has all evening to goof off or help you with chores. Try a reward/grounding system. If he does his work, he gets some kind of reward like points toward something he wants. If he fails to do work or does not do good work, he gets points taken away. If his points go negative, he gets grounded from something.

Katherine - posted on 05/21/2013

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We discovered that mornings work better for us. I know it is unusual, and I never thought it would work, but I agreed to try it when my daughter suggested it. The kids are fresh and rested and work much better.

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Henna - posted on 05/21/2013

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Thank you so much for your replies and ideas, i will use them and hopefully see changes for the better.

Amy Nicole - posted on 05/20/2013

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Well,that's normal the whole delay, delay, delay thing.I have a room with nothing expet a Table with a pencil holder case and 5 chairs are around it and they sit in there seats just like school and i have 4 children 5 on the way i use the 5th chair for me for now.My kids can't get up or have there game systems whatever untill there done.Don't give into your son then he can really get away with almost anything because he knows hmm let me just beg her like crazy then i can get whatever i want. If your son refuses too do what you have asked him i always give my kids one warning and i'll say "Do your homework or else your grounded from__________ whatever you want too ground them from.Be patcient.

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