"11-year-old boy suddenly not wanting to be involved in any type of sports, socccer, football,or bas

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Rebeca - posted on 04/28/2010

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Hi Kelly

I agree that first you should try to find out if something has happened to make him feel this way. If nothing has happened and he is just not interested it may be that he is just not into sports. My nephew is 11 and he will not play any sports and even hates physical education class, however he is extremely intelligent in science and mathematics and a very clever student but he doesn't like doing things in teams or groups as he is a perfectionist and doesn't feel that the other kids put in to his high standard.

We live in Australia and sport is not as important down here (ie; our kids do not get scholarships to university based on their sporting ability. therefore we are not too concerned about it. He loves reading and doing scientific experiements and he does have friends so we figure his path in life may not involve sports, but he may be the next einstein, or richard hawkins so we just encourage and support him in his interests and make sure he gets exercise in other ways (eg walks on the beach, riding his bike, skate park etc)

Good luck, hope it's nothing serious.

Tracy - posted on 04/26/2010

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There must have been some kind of negative experience in one or more of his sports teams, so he wants to run from his problem. Talk to him and find out what it was. Talk to other parents or coaches to find out other perspectives on what happened. Maybe it's something simple like he feels he doesn't measure up to the other boys' abilities. If that's the case, sports is usually where you learn the lesson that hard work pays off. tell him he has to practice to get better, work hard to improve. Talk to his coach about getting his help motivating your son to work.

Perhaps your son is not a good team player for some reason. If he has ADHD for example, perhaps he's too impulsive and has a hard time keeping friends. He can always participate in individual sports like tennis, swimming, golf, or bowling. He can also enjoy things like chess, roller blading, biking, or skate boarding. There are still lots of options for competition out there that don't have to be team sports.

Good luck talking with your son, getting to know his needs and fears, and helping him work through them!

Jennifer - posted on 04/25/2010

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The only way to know why this boy doesn't want to be involved in sports is to ask him. Did he have an embarrassing situation in the locker room? Do the other boys pick on him? Without knowing why he doesn't want to be involved in sports, it is sort of hard to sort it all out and he is the only one who knows why he doesn't want to be involved.

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