11yr old boy and homework

Sabrina - posted on 09/20/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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So my 11yr old son has started middle school and there have been several occasions where he has forgotten to bring his homework home.. I don't pick him up, so I can't pull out his planner and make sure he has brought everything.. The more I nag him it seems like the more he forgets.. We are only a month in to school and I can't seem to get him into the swing of things..

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Hildy - posted on 09/23/2009

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So we are both in New York State which is good since there are some similarities. As far as the one on one with the teacher, I have and always will be in close contact with my son's teachers. (This year, 6th grade, he has several). And in the past, the teachers have been appreciative that I am involved. I do so since my mother did not know nor understand the school system here. She was an immigrant from Yugoslavia. She did speak English well, however, not fluently. So, with that my sister and I suffered. My son is reaping the benefit of my experiences.

CHristine - posted on 09/23/2009

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I'm going thru the EXACT same thing w/ my son. I call his teacher EVERY NIGHT now. If he doesnt bring home his work...no computer/phone/video games...whatever I chose. I also have the teacher email me what his hw is for the week.....ITS THEIR JOB to educate my child....make them earn their money and help YOU help you child. When he "forgets" the book he needs....I make him do it the next night. Its SOOOO hard to take his fav things away but...he will get nowhere in life w/o his education so...just be firm and stick to your ground. NO EXCUSES!

Shaunna - posted on 09/23/2009

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I have the same problem with my son. He is also 11 and homework is the last thing he wants to do. Just keep reinforcing the homework and make him have consequences if he doesn't do it. It is very stressful when this happens especially when it happens frequently.

SINEAD - posted on 09/21/2009

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hi, I had the same problem last year with my 11 year old boy, we tried everything ignoring, encouraging, nothing seemed to work and i was dreading this year. But so far so good, he completely changed and has settled down, ok the homework is a bit rushed but he is doing it, without being asked and the teachers happy, so hopefully its just a phase, good luck

Pippa - posted on 09/20/2009

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what i think you need to do is have a chat to his teacher just to get him into a routine of homework and bringing it home but have a chat to the teacher to get them to just check that he gets all of it and between you and you son organise a monthly treat for him so i.e. if he dooes 20 or more days out of the month then he gets a i.e. trip to the movies or money i.e. 20 bucks and eventually he'll get used to it don't growl at him but do make it big that he does his homework

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Debbie - posted on 09/26/2009

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Try giving him positive reinforcement by rewarding him when he does bring his homework home. I have a daughter with ADD and this helped me when she was forgeting things I also got her an according file folder and labled each section with a class. She takes it to every class with her puts her worksheets and such in there and brings it home everyday. She also keeps her planner in there. Hope this helps

Teresa - posted on 09/26/2009

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Have you tried to reward him when he brings everything home? Give him some options of rewards or work at a goal of a big reward if he brings home & does his homework for 2 weeks in a row.

Nancy - posted on 09/26/2009

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Maybe if you promise him something for the weekend...like taking him to the movies it will help.

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My son is fourteen and a freshman in high school now. It's still a complete struggle with homework. Has been for years. When he was in middle school, however, when I saw that he wasn't completing assignments I called up his teachers and we all had a conference with my son to try and brainstorm some ways to get him to remember his homework. After that we didn't have anywhere near as many problems as we had before. I think your sons teachers can be a great resource for you. If he has good teachers like my son had, they will appreciate your willingness to work with them to rectify the problem. The teachers and I would check in periodically via e-mail and I really felt like we were partners in his education. My son also knew that his teachers and I "talked" every once in awhile and he didn't feel like he could get away with so much! Also, see if your school has assignments and grades online. That has been a great help to us over the years as well. No surprises at progress report time when it is too late to make the work up.

Qiana - posted on 09/25/2009

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Definitely stay on him about homework. Strengthen the lines of communication with his teacher. See if there is time in the day to help him get organized. Maybe have a way for the teacher to contact you on a weekly basis, by phone or email of missing assignments. As kids transition from elementary-middle alot of changes occur and although they are still with some of their same classmates more is expected and teachers are less likely to hand hold. So parents definitely have to be more proactive in their children's education.

Sharon - posted on 09/25/2009

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Quoting Sabrina:

11yr old boy and homework

So my 11yr old son has started middle school and there have been several occasions where he has forgotten to bring his homework home.. I don't pick him up, so I can't pull out his planner and make sure he has brought everything.. The more I nag him it seems like the more he forgets.. We are only a month in to school and I can't seem to get him into the swing of things..



I have the same problem with my son.  I tried everything with him then eventually at a parents evening I asked the teacher if he could advise something.  We decided on them sending a note home each day on what they have to do for homework until they eventually get the hang of this themselves.  My son now does his full homework on his own.

Sally - posted on 09/25/2009

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with boys emphasis on the positive seems to work better than nagging. (beleive me i tried!) if you really make a fuss of him when he puts in the effort he'll soon get the idea. well, my two did anyway.

Tammy - posted on 09/25/2009

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my 11 yr old has done the same thing we have been in school since the first of August. I finally told him that he was growing up and I could not hold his hand this year and that it was his responsibility to bring his work home and if he chose not to I would start taking things away and I started with the trip our church youth group has planned so far every time we have had homework he has brought it home. Good luck

Elaine - posted on 09/25/2009

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I have a 12 year old son who just entered 7th grade. I was having the same issue with him in the beginning. What I did was, on the days he forgot his homework, I assigned my own personal assignments for him at home (which including chores, standards, writing a report, etc.). I also searched his school's website and acquired all his teachers email address, plus they would post the homework for that day. He eventually started bringing homework home.. be it that he hated standards and report-writing.. lol... Hope this gives you some ideas.

Linda - posted on 09/25/2009

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You need to have consequences, I went through this when my son was in 4th grade. If he forgot his homework (they don't forget they choose not to do it) then I made him do it the next night, and I would add to it. After about a week of doing extra homework, believe me they will remember.

Hildy - posted on 09/24/2009

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Emily, testing your son for ADD or ADHD or both may be beneficial. Perhaps it may be a physiological instead of psychological situation. I would do it if it were my son just for the mere fact that I have mentally challenged relatives on both sides. Good luck and God bless you and your family.

Elizabeth, I was the same way through middle school and high school. And with that I barely made it out of high school because the teachers failed me due to lack of homework. I aced all of my tests but still failed. Your son's school has to take some of the blame in this because they seem not to enforce disciplinary actions due to lack of homework. Punishment may not be the answer, talk to the teacher(s) and/or the principal and address the issue. He's only in the 5th grade now but when he gets into middle school and high school the stakes are greater. It is NOW that you have to nip this in the bud. I make sure every night that my son does and completes his homework. It is for his benefit. And I wish you the best of luck also. God bless.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/24/2009

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Here Here...Help me out. My son is 10 5th grade and he has the attitude "if I pass the test the homework doesn't matter." I disagreed until Monday. He brought his report card home and had all A's nothing below a 95% Even though he's not doing (or finishing) his homework he's scoring high enough on classwork and tests to compensate. So now what. This is giving him the idea that he can manipulate and get by...How do I punish him if he has a 4.0?

Emily - posted on 09/24/2009

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oh my god i'm feeling your pain!!! i have the same problem!! i have tried punishments & rewards. he constantly forgets to write doen homework and bring the right things home. when he does get it together and get his homework done...he forgets to bring it back to school sometimes. i have had it girl i dont know whether to get him tested for ADD or just let him try it himslef and potentially fail if he has to. my son hoes to private school and gets a detention for every 5 missed homeworks..were on the 2nd detention so far this quarter!! if anyone has an ideas please help.

Hildy - posted on 09/24/2009

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My son's school does not have lockers. They carry their books and supplies from class to class. The only thing is that they have cubbies in homeroom and all he has there is his Social Studies supplies because his homeroom teacher is his Social Studies teacher as well.

Sabrina - posted on 09/24/2009

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Quoting Hildy:

As far as the text books are concerned, most of my son's text books are here at home. So, I don't have to worry about that. Also, at my son's school if the child does not do and/or if the homework is incomplete the child is disciplined by going through lunch detention and they are not allowed to go on field trips. I don't know where Sabrina and Christine live but my son's school in New York City ranked #1 in the district and #15 citywide. So, my advice is to keep after your children and ask the schools to enact stricter disciplinary codes. It certainly helps.


I live in Denver and I take him to a school out of the district. It is a highly rated middle school in Colorado. And we do have a website I can check on and they do give Saturday/ lunch detention/challenge course restriction (which is actually on site). I just wish he would take initiative and put everything he needs in his backpack before he leaves school. I don't want him to turn in assignments late because he will get lower grades for something that seems so simple. Grab what you need from your locker before you leave school!!!!  Boys!

CHristine - posted on 09/23/2009

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We're from Syracuse NY. We're in the city district thats why I keep my kids in Catholic school. (Its expensive but I work OT and it'll b worth every penny in the long run) They are great with keeping on top of issues with the kids. They also have a school/teacher web site which I feel is extreemly beneficial, however, I prefer the one-on-one with the teacher...that way they know that I am just as proactive as they are and they encourage it as well. : )

Hildy - posted on 09/23/2009

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As far as the text books are concerned, most of my son's text books are here at home. So, I don't have to worry about that. Also, at my son's school if the child does not do and/or if the homework is incomplete the child is disciplined by going through lunch detention and they are not allowed to go on field trips. I don't know where Sabrina and Christine live but my son's school in New York City ranked #1 in the district and #15 citywide. So, my advice is to keep after your children and ask the schools to enact stricter disciplinary codes. It certainly helps.

Hildy - posted on 09/23/2009

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In my son's case, all his teachers have websites that I can access. If my son says he has no homework, I access the teacher's website to confirm whether he is telling me the truth. (So far, I am lucky he has been good.) Ask your son's teachers if they have set up websites. If they do, utilize them! Then sit with your son until he finishes. I know that is a lot to do but it is worth it in the long run. Maybe this will wake him up!!

Sabrina - posted on 09/23/2009

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Thanks for all the input! It is a relief to know others are going through the same issues.

Temi - posted on 09/23/2009

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I have a son that many times he forgets to bring his homework, I let Him know that he has to be more responsable and that he has to check every day, make sure he has everything, I think he is to much of hurry to get to the bus that he dont pay attention, I make him go to neighboors that are in his same class and ask for the papers and make copies, if he can"t do this he is grounded from what he likes the most, like video games, t.v or friends. it helps for a while.

Dana - posted on 09/22/2009

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My son is 11 and he is the exact same way too!H e knows he has work and lies about it

SINEAD - posted on 09/21/2009

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Quoting Sabrina:

11yr old boy and homework

So my 11yr old son has started middle school and there have been several occasions where he has forgotten to bring his homework home.. I don't pick him up, so I can't pull out his planner and make sure he has brought everything.. The more I nag him it seems like the more he forgets.. We are only a month in to school and I can't seem to get him into the swing of things..


 

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