11yr old dying her hair?

Kristina - posted on 09/02/2010 ( 66 moms have responded )

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Hey ladies,

I have a daughter that will be 11 next month, heading into grade 6. She asked me if I would dye her hair for her. She has dark brown hair and wants blond streaks added. I told her I'd rather her try a color close to hers that won't be as permanent, like a red, or something that will fade rather than have to grow out. My husband says that he doesn't care one way or the other. I don't want to be one of those moms that doesn't let their daughters try to express themselves, but I don't want to be one of those moms that let their kids do whatever they want either. Any suggestions for me?

Thanks in advance :-)

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Kelly - posted on 07/18/2013

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I see nothing wrong with it. I dyed my oldest daughters hair when she was 4(the wash out kind) then as she got older we did more lasting color, I have highlighted my sons hair and my youngest daughters hair too.

Regina - posted on 04/04/2013

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I'm an 11 year old and I'm dying my hair in about 3 days. No, I am not getting crazy, wild colours. My original hair colour is black, and I'm wanting to change it into a brown with dark brown undertones. This is the only way for my to express myself, since at school we have to wear uniforms and rarely get to wear regular clothing. Plus, my wardrobe is acting more like my mom's wardrobe. I think, from my point of view, styling your hair is the best way to express yourself, feelings, and emotions.

Nicole - posted on 07/12/2013

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Nothing wrong with it. My daughter is almost 12 and has always had a different sense of style than other young ladies her age. This would only add to her "quirky" personality that I love in her. I have never dyed my own hair in my entire life, but that was my choice, as I love my natural dark hair. I am also the least "girly girl" out there. I hate makeup, getting nails done, I hate shopping.....I even hate getting my hair trimmed just to keep the split ends under control. I am very surprised my own kid is the complete opposite of me. Which is a good thing. :)

Hair dye is fun for people at any age. It's just hair that grows back. She is not allowed to wear make-up though, and doesn't have anything pierced. She still is only 11 and doesn't need to look 21. I do have limits. And that includes clothes. She whines about certain things she wants to wear, but like I said, she is only 11. She is more than happy with "different" hair and it helps lessens the battles on what she wants to wear that isn't appropriate for her age.

Jennifer - posted on 07/11/2013

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when my daughter was 9 we dyed her hair, then we dyed it again a few months back and she is 10 I think if it makes her happy to dye her hair then let her. my friend told me this way. her hair will grow back so it is not permanent unlike a tattoo. you can always get her the no permanent hair dye

Vickie - posted on 04/21/2013

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I would pick an issue much bigger than hair color to put my foot down about, is this really a hill you want to die on? If you're concerned about what it will look like I would take her to a salon and have her look at some options there before she makes a final decision, just tell her you want her to be sure because it's something she'll have to live with. Also, has she seen hair chalk? My daughter loves that, she can use a bunch of fun colors in her hair, but they wash right out, then she can do something different the next time, you might try suggesting that.

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Renee - posted on 07/21/2013

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Whether or not it looks "stupid" is opinion. I think its just up to the parent, and what may be OK in your house may not be OK in somebody elses house. Don't worry about what other people think, just go on what YOU and HUBBY think. =]

Cass - posted on 07/13/2013

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I have always had a different style too. In 7th grade, I used clip on streaks, which are okay, but I realized how stupid I looked. A 12 year old with pink year. Hair does grow back, but sometimes it takes a while, and it can grow back damaged.

Cass - posted on 07/11/2013

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10/11 is too young to do that. She can express herself with headbands and jewelry. Dying hair can damage hair, and there's no need to do that at such a young age. 13 is okay for natural streaks, but never let your child dye her hair something stupid, like bright red to be like Ariana Grande, or bright blue, or bleach blonde to be like Miley Cyrus, or green.

Mia - posted on 06/15/2013

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I am 11 and I have semi permanent blue hair. I've dyed my hair about 8 times. I'm in year 6 and in year 5 I dyed my hair blonde for the first time. I kept dying it to get a light blonde. A couple months later I had it red, then I got pink from the red fading and then I dyed it purple and now it is velvet blue. I think you should let your daughter dye her hair because from experience, no one seems to think of anything bad about your hair. I have never heard a person be judgemental about me because of my hair. People compliment you. :)

Falon - posted on 05/10/2013

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I'm 11 and my mom said I could due my hair with kool aid but I want to do it my self for practice for when I'm older and so she won't have to do it and if she did it it would put more stress on her how do I convince her to let me do it my self

Falon - posted on 05/10/2013

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I'm 11 and my mom said I could due my hair with kool aid but I want to do it my self for practice for when I'm older and so she won't have to do it and if she did it it would put more stress on her how do I convince her to let me do it my self

Kirsten - posted on 04/22/2013

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You can pick up clip in colours really easy these days, why not get her a couple of different colours to use and that way she gets the look without doing any damage to her natural hair. (this way if she wants colours like pink and purple you won't have to strip hair first)

Tammy - posted on 04/15/2013

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My own hair is light brown to dark blond and my Mom had been spraying "Sun In" or the equivalent in my hair to help lighten it in the sun, since I was 7 years old. I continued doing it myself when I grew up, that is until my hair started going slightly prematurely gray (runs in my Dad's family), when I switched to real hair colour to cover the streaks. I now use the same stuff to lighten my own daughter's hair and she's only 4.

Heather - posted on 04/10/2013

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my girl is 12 and in yr 7 this yr. we have just recently had this argument as she was doing worlds greatest shave and wanted to dye her hair bright red. she was blonde. we wanted her to use hairspray, but she wanted the dye,. we ended up compromising and using a rinse which washes out pretty easily. I want her to be able to express herself, but think 12 is too young to start messing with perm colors. maybe in another 2 yrs or so.

Becky - posted on 03/15/2013

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My daughter got fuchsia streaks in the front and underneath in the back when she was 10. I had a beautician actually do the color. Washed out within 4 mos. or so. I recommend asking your hairdresser. It looked great and she was so happy. Good luck!

Brandy - posted on 03/15/2013

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My daughter wanted to dye her hair at 8, I felt was too soon by 10 I let her have hidden highlights then she wanted to dip dye the bottom half, she has dark brown hair, I really didn't want her to have to bleach half her hair :( so for her 11th bday when she brought it up again I said I would pay for her highlights but not dip dye, she said she would pay for it, I was ok with it, took her to a friend and she paid all by herself with her bday money to have her hair dyed bright blue with green tips, was very cute....... It taught her that doing these kind of things are not cheap

Courtney - posted on 03/07/2013

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I'm a hairstylist and i have put blonde streaks in my daughters hair since she was nine just make sure they make them real skinny and they will blend naturally that way theyll grow out and foutunately dark roots are in now very innocent way to let a young girl express herself

Jan - posted on 03/05/2013

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Dying ones hair is a form of self expression. 11 year olds have very little things they are allowed to choose. They go to school, eat what is made for them, wear the clothing that is bought for them ( and I some cases wear uniforms to school). Their hair is the one thing they can have control over. And it is a wonderful thing to allow them to have control with. It can be restyled recoloured and grows out.

My youngest loves to get his hair coloured and my mother was the one that started it as she took him to a salon to have it coloured for his birthday.

Jordan - posted on 03/01/2013

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Mmm.. I'm eleven.. Tomorrow getting splat purple. Bleaching it and all... I first dyed my hair a dark red tempuarly color. Looked nice... Then black, just let her do it, no harm. Just don't do the bleach at first. Its most damaging and perment. I'm very edgy aged in hair and beauty. I am confident that it won't affect her much. If she's not confident now it's useless. Put her in tawando it helps behavior and confidence that's why my parents did it (:

Aphrodite - posted on 01/29/2013

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you should let her express her self maby tell her to go with an actual color that can rinse out you can get them at drug stores

Katarina - posted on 11/29/2012

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I have 12 years I have brown hair and I want to dying it blond, my mom says I can if I want to and that my hair will fray and dried, if you really want to think it should. It should not be different not just a copy :)

Lisa - posted on 10/25/2012

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I have a 12 year old. She started asking to do this last summer. I was reluctant but then figured, hey it is summer and why not try it etc. The popular thing was to dye hair with koolaid.

she has blonde hair and wanted it red. I tried a small piece in back underneath. The color took well. After I stupidly let her do more with supervision ofcourse.

This took place in July and is still in her hair. It is faded. She wanted rainbow hair for first day of school. I put my foot down. New school, first impression, not a good idea.

So...now she i pushing rainbow hair for halloween. I fear that once she gets the ok on this, the next thing will be tatoo, piercing etc. Therefore I will agree to hair extentions, and a wash out dye. But not color that stays in 2 months.

Just remeber you are the mom you can say no. I am hoping the compromise will make all happy.

Nadine - posted on 10/12/2012

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i think you should let her well i'm 11 years old girl and i'm going to get my hair dyed so i think you should let your daughter dye her hair because that would let her to be more confident and look different and do something new so i think you should let her , my opinion

Kaleigh Anne - posted on 09/16/2012

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I think you should let heer my daughter wanted them to her hair ir brown and she wants to dye the whole thing! At first i was like No way in hell thats happening but we have to think what we wanted when we were that age.So yes you should.

Silvia - posted on 09/15/2012

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well dont do it blond it will go ginger ninja not a gd look i have brown hair i tried it had to dye my hair red TERRIBLE coulour just get extenshions :)

Teagan - posted on 09/03/2012

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Look I'm am 11 and my mom was set no until she saw that not only was I not expressing my self but I was being told to be who I am but I am very rebellious and I said no to her and she took me to the salon and I paid :)

Louiese - posted on 08/26/2012

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OMG!I am a 11 year old and I ready want to get my hair dyed but my mum says N OOOOOOOOOOO every timeI ask her it is the same answer. But I only want it a few tones lighter.I have told her before that I know that it could damage my hair so she agreed that I could get a hair dye that would wash out.I think you should let your daughter get her hair dyed and let her learn from her mistakes:p.

Izzy - posted on 07/10/2012

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I'm going into 7th grade and I got it done at 11. It really helped my confidence level and it made me look and feel so much better! Why not.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/10/2012

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Mine is 11 I put blond streaks in her hair a few weeks ago. Her hair is already a dirty blond and the streaks brightened her hair. She loves it...and thankfully, its not black or green or blue or whatever crazy color kids are putting in their hair. Kid hair is not like adult hair. You have to be careful about dying, how much, how often and what product you use, or your kids hair could be seriously damaged. consult a professional hairstylest and keep it tasteful. Steer her towards beauty and not shock value. Too many kids go that direction.

Andrea - posted on 05/01/2012

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i am an eleven year old and i think you should let her express herself! I want a color streak on the bottom of my hair, but my mom says i will think about it every time i ask! how can i get an answer?

Debbie - posted on 01/18/2011

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Funnily enough my son who has brown hair wanted blonde streaks in his hair about a year ago cos "all the boys were getting it." It was purely a fashion choice. What we agreed on was that for the last month of school before the summer break I would allow this and if it wasnt nice he would get it cut out. This worked a treat as he felt quite cool over the summer break and got it all cut off on return to school. I tell him he has beautiful shiny brown hair and he tells me the girls love to touch his hair in his class as well. He didnt enjoy the actual streaking process and said he wouldnt get it again. We shall see. If he was a girl dependent on her style I would advise a wash out colour firstly, then a semi permenant colour before going anywhere near permenant colour as most hairdressers advise against it so young. However, I do know an 11 year old girl with very drab brown hair prone whogot dark blonde highlights a little lighter than her own brown hair which transformed her looks and seems to have boosted her confidence no end. This was definately a positive outcome.
I wasnt allowed to cut my own hair short or colour it by my parents so i took matters into my own hands at 14 and got the shortest blondest hairstyle i could from shoulder length brown locks to spikes! As i say it is hard to get a balance lol. My mum nearly fainted.

Monica - posted on 01/17/2011

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I am very ok with dying hair. Both of our seven year olds have dyed their hair. Once with some temporary purple over the summer and more recently my daughter wanted to add black to her blond hair (in the lower layers). It looks awesome and she gets to express herself. I have no problem letting her do it.

Gwendolyn - posted on 10/12/2010

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It is just hair and her wanting to be different. My son asked around that age, I told him the worst case was he get it shaved or it will grow out.
There are a lot of temporary dye's out there ask your local beauty shop what to use.
I found that by expressing themselfs this way they stayed away from worse stuff, and they continue to talk to me.
Good luck

Priscilla - posted on 09/22/2010

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Its not an all around hair dye...she just wants some definition to her hair. Hey at least you dont have your daughter asking you to have her hair dyed purple like mine! LOL...still its only dye..if she doesnt like it, well lesson learned right? Let it grow out. They have this non permanent dye machine at Calires...mind you the dye tabs make the hair clump together and its not that nice compared to actual dye. but she can sort of see what she will look like without the commitement. As for me...I have dyed my daughters hair...she liked it but doesnt like going through the hassle so she doesnt want to do it again.

Amy - posted on 09/22/2010

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My daughter was almost 12 when she decided she wanted blonde highlights in her hair. at firt I was dead set against it, but the more I thought about it I can remember my mom letting me get Perms at the age.( that was the big thing at the time.) So I figured not so different. I agree you have to pick your battles. I told her no wild colors wich is what she first wanted. good luck. remember in the end "ITS JUST HAIR" it will grow out. no biggie :)

Julie - posted on 09/17/2010

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well i won't say yes or no either way because i did let my daughter dye her hair when she was 12 but made sure she used a really good shampoo and conditioner on it as the dye does take its toll on young hair. there is as you know lots of products that are not permenant and to persuade her in that direction tell her that if the dye lasts 8 washes she could try a different colour every few weeks which would be cool. there is another solution. tell her that if she has it done she may not like it but by then it will be too late so to try hair extensions that just clip in instead and see how she feels about the colour that way. either way your little girl is growing up and hair colour won't be the last debate you have so good luck

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I think 11 is too young as a mother, but when I was 11, we were dying our hair with kool-aid! It's fun and doesn't ruin your hair with harsh chemicals. When she's older, talk to her about dying her hair with natural dyes like henna. My rule for my own child is: when she's old enough to pay for it, she can dye her hair.

Nancy - posted on 09/12/2010

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I have not happily let my 11 year old experiment with color, she was bored after two times. My oldest though has done so much coloring and bleaching that she ruined her hair too. Yes it does grow back and the chemicals worry me too. I love the clip in idea. I will try to remember that one if there is a next time.

Becky - posted on 09/09/2010

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Well go with whatever you think. I'm a mother who has a daughter who at 10 asked me to have her hair streaked with fusha pink. I heard from so many people that it was wrong, what a bad parent I was. That bad people pick up on girls like that. Trust me I've heard it all. My husband didn't care one way or the other, too. Hair grows and it's just a faze. I say go for it. We did. I had a beautician do it, though.

Teri - posted on 09/09/2010

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This is a "pick & choose" your battles issue. When I give in on something like this, I usually attach conditions that are more important to me. I gave in to my daughter in the 7th grade. She wanted to be blonde and she's a natural brunette. I sad she could choose this, but with the condition that if I let her, her choices in hair color have to be natural colors and no weirded out hairstyles. EVER. She agreed. The phase lasted two hairdresser appts. The 3rd appt. she wanted it dyed closest to her natural color, had it cut into a shorter but cute style. Then let that grow out. She's now a Jr. in High School, loves her own haircolor and always comes to me to ask about different hairstyles. In the end there are going to be much bigger issues, like curfews, dating, etc. that are going to need your diligence. This is a minor one, just attach a bigger issue to this one. For example; If I let you put lighlights in it (tell her carmel highlights would be far more attractive on a brunette;discussing it with her will let her know you take her requests seriously) you will do your homework everynight. Or you will keep your grades at B's and above. So far this approach has worked for me. As a Junior who is confident in her decisions, she runs them by me becuase she knows I take them seriously. She also is in weighted classes with a 4.1 GPA and college bound. She did it herself, but she knows I'm her advocate at all times.

Tricia - posted on 09/09/2010

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My daughter got her first highlights at 9. Just a few not the whole head. I agree with Sherri, Pick your own battles. When my son was in 4th grade he wanted to dye his hair. I told him that if he got good grades and stayed on the Honor Roll he could do what he wanted. He did and his hair was blonde, red, blue....whats the differance, it grows and washes out. If you are going to judge someone on the color of their hair, WOW....Do it when they are younger and want to do it, trust me they will get it out of their system and be done with it. My son is 15 and a freshman in High School this year and he is totally out of that phase.

Danielle - posted on 09/09/2010

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My mom started coloring my hair when I was in 5th grade and rumy daughter is 11 and I do hers too. I am not a mom that let's my kids do whatever they want. In fact, I'm rather strict, so I try to give in on the little things that don't really matter. You just have to maintain a balance.

Olivia - posted on 09/08/2010

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I think it is too young. That means that by 8th grade they will expect tatoos and body piercing.

Heather - posted on 09/07/2010

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My 12-1/2 year old daughter has been begging to put blonde highlights in her brown hair as well. I feel it is too young. She has such gorgeous hair, and once you start coloring, it's a vicious fight to keep the roots from looking trashy. Plus, I want her to have a healthy, good body image and not fall into the trap that she has to change herself to look beautiful. I let her pick her hairstyles (cuts) and I allow a little light makeup, but I told her I'd rather she waited until she's 14 or 15 AT LEAST before we introduce color into her hair. (I was 17)

Maria - posted on 09/07/2010

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I believe that 11 years of age is too young to start dying hair. My daughter is 12 and is off to high school next year. She too has asked if she could have her hair dyed. My answer was no. There is a time and place for all of us I said and her time has not come yet. I believe that TV commericals of looking different and peer group pressure is at play here. She just wants what other people or girls her age want and. I would suggest not to at this early stage of your daughter's life. Besides you are putting her at risk from the chemicals. I would stand my ground until she just accepts you decision. You are the parent, she is not. On the other had if you grew up with being allowed to experiment then I guess you would probably allow for this. Either way as a parent the ball is in your court and you will need to live wiith whatever decision you make. Good Luck!

Tina - posted on 09/07/2010

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I think it is a mothers choice what she allows her child to do... i have always allowed my kids to express thier own unique style... does it make me a bad mom or them bad kids when they get temporary hair dye and put purple or pink in thier hair no it doesnt... it is hair... it is the one thing that truly if you think about it she has control over.. and if she hates it it grows out and she learned the lesson of it

Jennifer Jo - posted on 09/07/2010

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my opinion on hair is this.... it is just hair. it is one part of your body that you can be most creative with without any permanant damage. if you dont like it... it will grow out!!!!! hehehe :)

Becki - posted on 09/07/2010

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my 14 yo sd is allowed to do whatever she wants to her hair, she has been able to do so for years. the other day she said something to me that broke my heart hearing from a 14yo. she said "my hair is so damaged it doesn't matter what i do to it anymore". keep that in mind when making your choice.

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