13 year old daughter whom has liked a boy for a 1 1/2 years and cant get rid of him

Kay - posted on 04/21/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a 13 year old daughter whom has liked a boy for a 1 1/2 years now. We do not believe in dating until 16, yet here is the story. Last summer our daughter begged to spin time with him. We stated no boys, yet the augrument of (I have more boys that are my friends that girls) you wont let me hang out with them. Not fair, yet this was not just a friend but a boy she liked. We said if she had a girlfriend with her, then he could be invited. She took full advantage of her girlfriends and ask them along and he GOT to come also. We never dreamed first the girlfriends would put up with it. Most didnt, they no longer talk to her. She used them and we thought they would not want to be a 3rd wheel. It worked against us. This went on for about 4 months, then the texting, which is out of this world around the clock from 7am to 10pm (other than school hours). There was VERY inappropriate text from the boy and we blocked his numbers, told his mother and grounded our daugther from him for almost 2 months. Only to later catch them texting on their ipods to each other, even more inappropriate conversations. We block all ability to text on the ipod or do downloads, we read her text multiple times a day. The boys parent is no help, she doesnt want to be bothered with her son, it is pretty obvious. She tells her son, we are to hard on our daughter and she feels sorry for her and she wishes they could spend time together!!!! She has a 15 year old daughter with a 6 month old baby!!!! We will not let the boy be with our daughter, friends or not any longer. No hanging out, no movies, etc. They were always supervised by us, yet between the text, ipod, no more chances.The boy keeps begging our daughter to change our minds and we bent our rules last year to let her hang out with him and look where it got us. I called the mother just last week (of the BOY) to inform her, they would not be able to hang out with friends, or go anywhere together even with supervision, that our daugther had to be 16 yrs old. I told her we bent our rules last year and it was a mistake, therefore, we are standing firm. The sons mother, is saying we are to hard on our daughter and we are stupid. We fight every weekend with our daughter regarding not being able to see him. She is miserable, depressed and cries all the time and we basically feeling the same yet know we have to stand our ground. My question is "how do we get rid of the boy?" HELPPPPPP

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Izzy - posted on 07/10/2012

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Ok, here I go. No dating until 16? Are you completely stupid? Do you know what happens when a teen can't have something? They get it anyway. I get you blocking his number and everything, but you still should've let her go with him. AND her friends are really stupid. Just saying. If sh eis so miserable, then let her heart get broken. I know that sounds horrible, but let her be happy! If she really likes him, they should be able to see each other under certain circumstances. Good luck with the whole "No Boys" thing. See you when you're posting about how your daughter hates and won't speak to you. Bye!

France - posted on 04/23/2012

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we bent our rules last year and it was a mistake, therefore, we are standing firm....this is a good decision...its better to make ur daughter feel miserable than to be really miserable with this boy...spend more tym with her and make sure she makes new friends...if you have a relative who lives quite far from you maybe you can send her there for a week for a vacation...

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