14 year old son secretly smelling my worn thongs - how to deal with it?

Fiona - posted on 06/23/2012 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Hi!
I have an almost 14 year old son, and while picking up the laundry from his room it already happened three times that I found one of my WORN (!) thongs on his bed. They were always the one that I had just been wearing all day long right before, and the worst is, next to the thong, there were also always used kleenex lying around...am I paranoid or does this mean my son masturbated to the scent of my worn thongs??

Please, I need some serious advice how to deal with this. The most important thing for me is to not embarrass him, so what should I do? Just ingore it?

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Sarah - posted on 12/26/2012

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It is very common for sons to do this..! Any mother who honestly believes her son has not smelled her panties and masterbated at one time or another is living in a dream world. Boys are naturally wanting to experiment, they can look at porn and see what gets people off. Shoes , stockings and panties are the top 3 along with bras.

Diane - posted on 01/28/2013

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to tell you the truth its more so uncommon and to tell her that is normale is nothing but BULL.. You really need to get him help. I would make appt to see a PH D. Unless you are ok of the thought he might be turning gay.

[deleted account]

teen guys and guys to this day do it..it happens more then what u think, and at 14 all kinds of stuff running threw his head(s)..its normal i know this is a mom circle but I'm a guy and i can tell ya all about it..

[deleted account]

Don't worry about it. It is not uncommon for boys, or men, to panty sniff. Let him sniff and when he gets access to pussy I'm sure he will chose that over your thongs ;)

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Rob - posted on 01/23/2013

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If he is a respectful young boy,let it go,or just hide your things,but don't make it too obvious,not to innerouse him.But if he is a pain in the neck,just put your stuff away so they are secure and that's the end of it.Unless he says something.he's not a freak!

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/12/2013

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Well,I have to say ,this has not happened to me and I raised 4 boys and one girl,but ,I am very private with my under gear and night wear and the like just because thats the way i am,and very aware if my things are tamperd with and would ask who was thinking about getting into my things, and not to, because they are mine.I respect their personal so respect mine. So with mine that worked. But yes i would find porn pages in places and I would ask who ever left something that nobody wants to see,without saying what it was or not to single them out,remember to take it with you..Now if you only have one boy ,then i would let them know what i have found and then throw it away.nuff said and go about my buisness......

Nina - posted on 01/10/2013

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Explain to him the horrors of incest, put him in therapy and send him off to boarding school, regardless of what all these crazy people say, that behavior is NOT NORMAL and it could mess up his future and any chances of living a normal life. Do not ignore! Ignoring is enabling. Get his him help he desperately needs.

Margaret - posted on 12/05/2012

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Okay First of all don't ignore it. I think taking this one to his dad is a good idea but I would expect you to tell your loved one that your son should be approached with gentle conversation. You can't automatically assume that he is going to grow into a pervert or a panty snatcher.



When I was younger I was curious about everything sexual, strange, or different. I was a virgin for a very, Very long time and while that is a great thing it also left me quite confused in a lot of ways. I distinctly remember going into my mum's closet when she was out and going through her underwear drawer, fascinated by all of her soft and sensual things. I used to dream of the day I could wear such things. I also remember a time when I was fascinated by the scent of female excrement. Mostly this was because I was curious on if it was normal to have fluids produced all the time or even if they all smelled alike.



This is all coming from a female perspective but as a girl with a lot of male friends, all with different tastes and arousal methods, I wouldn't be too concerned. I think it is purely based off of curiosity. Your man should be able to sit down and start the talk with some reassurance that the female body and all it's accessories are lovely, fascinating, and down right beautiful. Tell him to go about discovering these things properly and that he doesn't need to be so sneaky around the both of you. Instill him with the confidence to come to you both and talk about his desires and concerns not only with his own body but with a woman's. Remember when you were young and you wanted a boy to love you, respect you, and be open towards you and all your quirks? Well if they all had mums and dads who sat them down and let them know it's okay to come to them maybe more men would be worth the love women give them.



Also, to any mums who have older boys still doing this take a look at how you are interacting with them. Keep your door closed when you change...try not to walk around in your under garments around your boys especially when they hit puberty. Let your partner know that while you enjoy his attentions and aggressively wanting behavior towards you, it might be best to keep the bum spanking and overly passionate kisses to the bedroom once your boys learn about sexual arousal. It's like having a chocoholic sitting in front of you while you eat cake and deny them a slice. Boys don't really want their mommies...not if they are healthy...but they do want sex. Porn is everywhere and I don't like that my son will one day get opinions from porn that I think unhealthy but it's a fact of life in this day and age. Sexually aware men will go for that satisfaction nearly everywhere they can get it. Teach them to respect women and those urges will be under control and expressed in a healthy manner.

Michael - posted on 12/03/2012

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Truthfully he is just curious, I was when I was that age but you have to confront him, that's the only way to help stop him from sniffing your thongs. Also try to get him hooked up with a girl

Alot - posted on 11/21/2012

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I HAVE BEEN INTO PANTIES all my life,,but momies!!! are off limits ..you should lock all your lingerie up, and make it KNOW you dont LIKE it..with out saying a word! he will get a the note quick..if he likes panties he needs to get his own!! not mom or sis or auntie cosin,,nonono..pantie boy

Joan - posted on 11/18/2012

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confront him carefully, tell him if he wants to keep doing it that you want no part of it. If he wants to keep doing it, tell him that he has to wash your thongs!

[deleted account]

I have a 14 yr son and if he is doing this with mine or his sister's panties I have not discovered it yet. I do catch him trying to see me naked though. I would not be alarmed it is normal for them todo this stuff at that age. I know my son masturbates constantly

Francesca - posted on 10/24/2012

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Ok been there done that it has been a while back. My panties would turn up out of place in the dirty clothes hamper, or those I left on the floor in the master bathroom would be rolled differently than I left them. And then I started to find some of missing ones that were used under his pillow. He was 13 at the time. I left pair on the on top of the washed in the basket that I had just taken off. I got up about 50 minutes after going to sleep and walked to his room. I opened the door slowly and there he was with my panites on his face and another pair I didn't know was missing wrapped his manhood he was enjoying himself so I backed away. The next morning while he was bathing I went and recovered my panties from his room. I found both full of stains from him. Now I wasn't in shock or angry. When I was growing up my brother got busted by my mom for doing the same thing. He was beaten by my father for it. I did some reading before doing all of this. Mothers are the first love any boy has he is wanting to experince what his hormones are driving him to do. When he came out of the bath I called him to breakfast and I placed my panties in front of him and talked to him without accusing him. I asked why he enjoyed my panties. He told me the scent they had. I explained that women have a scent that excites males. I then went into how he is changing and this is part of growing up. But I did tell him my panites are not for his pleasure. That this almost incest if allowed it to contiune. Which he asked what is that. So I had to tell him. By the time I was done 2 hours later we had had TALK. He then understood about boys and girls and the pleasure that one day would be his. I had no more problems with him and my clothes. Becuase of the openess Ihad with him he actually told me the day he was 16 that he had sex with a girl. And he made a point to tell me he wore a condom. Today he is 33, married and happy. he has a child of his own a boy who is 6. he will or his wife will have to deal with it also. I shared with his wife the ritual mothers will have to deal with their sons. I hope this helps any of you out there.

Stan - posted on 10/15/2012

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I would probably speak to the boy, he is possibly being influenced by porn as well, with all the milf and other mature content, he could be fantasizing about sleeping with you. He is only 14 and hormones are running wild but I would make sure you talk to him and if need be from there get him into counselling.

Ariana - posted on 10/12/2012

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Hide your panties and ignore it. You will scar this kid for life if you confront him about it, trust me.



Teenage boys are crazy sex beings, this is not about him being into you, it's about a sexual thing and a women in the house. He's hormanal and crazy. If anything you should bring him to a youth program where he can hang out with other girls (and hormonal boys) instead of fantasizing at home.



Don't put t his kid in councelling unless he's doing something way worse than this. He will believe something is horribly wrong with him, be embarrased and scarred for life. He's hormonal and crazy.



Like I said, hide the thongs, put on a sweater when he's around, and pretend it's not happening.



Only if things escalate or doing something crazy should you get worried.

Freda - posted on 07/16/2012

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I agree with Elizabeth and Jennifer, I do think he is curious...but something does need to be done NOW not later...If the father is there, I think he should approach the situation..knowing me..I'd be the one to do it though...that's just my opinion...

Jennifer - posted on 07/15/2012

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i'm trying to put myself in your shoes here because i've never had this problem (or if i did my son kept it hidden really well). if his father is around, i would throw it his way but if he does approach him, he should do it under the premise that he (the dad) found the underwear himself -- not that you told him you found them. second, i see you haven't gotten that many responses here -- have you tried "googling" this to see what else you can come up with? my gut feeling is he probably is just curious about a woman's scent and your underwear is the most readily available. you don't want to make this worse or have him come out of it with sexual or anger issues. if dad's not around (cause this really is "guy stuff"), and you're not getting good answers on here maybe you should go to a few counseling sessions (just a few) and ask a therapist the best way to approach this. i know this isn't exactly on the same level, but you know when kids are potty training -- if you don't do it right -- it gets worse and harder. this strikes me on the same kind of psychological level. (but obviously on very different levels -- i hope you understand the point i'm trying to make). i would be curious to know your progress with this if you have time to post again as you go along. good luck.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/10/2012

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Well Fiona, I am an older mom here, 3 sons ....this is one of the hardest posts I have ever had to answer. This is not an issue of weird ...boys are excited by the female scent period and obviously, yours is comforting to him but being a woman exciting and yours is the only one he has ready access to. HOWEVER......you are going to have to have the boy spoken to about this. If his father is around, I would suggest you throw this one his way... Your son is treading on forbidden ground here and he really needs to understand that. Being 14 he is driven my his urges, not his good sense. Good luck mama...I would not want to be in your shoes, I think I might freak first be reasonable later.

Fiona - posted on 06/23/2012

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Actually I have heard of other teenagers secretly sniffing worn panties (not their mom's though, but in general), that's really not uncommon for hormonal teen boys. The thing is, other boys might steal some girls panties and get into troubles...so I guess that would be even worse. This is not a moral problem, it is a situational problem. What do I do to handle the situation in a way that won't embarrass him too much as well as make it clear to him that he should focus more on other girls?

Teresa - posted on 06/23/2012

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They are his mom's underwear!. First of all sniffing any female underwear is disturbing and now I'm wondering why you don't think that is strange. He should not be sniffing ANY underwear. BUt his mom's underwear? DOn't worry about embarrassing him now, you want to stop any deviant habits he is acquiring now before they turn into something worse.

Fiona - posted on 06/23/2012

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But don't you think he's just very curious and excited about the female scent? And I guess it's obvious he can't get any other access to that than my worn thongs. But don't you think he doesn't associate this with me at all?

Teresa - posted on 06/23/2012

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Get that kid into counseling! His mom's thongs? ANybody else's I would have a LITTLE concern, but this is his momma's things. SOmething is NOT right there. Get him some professional help!

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