ADHD. discipline?

Carrie-Anne - posted on 04/25/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Help!!!! She has ADHD. Now how do I discipline her? and he is only 10 yr.

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Have you ever considered nutritional and natural ways to help your child with ADHD? If you're interested, I know several people who have successfully helped their children and/or themselves with some changes in their diet. Contact me at resully3470@yahoo.com if interested.

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Dominique - posted on 05/11/2010

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I find that my ten year old is a big one on routines so that I do find that if any of the routines are changed or altered in any way it does take him a long time to take in the change. I do find that keeping him busy does help but I am finding out that as he gets older and his hormones are playing with his body and his mind things are changing.

Marcie - posted on 05/11/2010

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Be consistent with time outs and removal of privileges. Always follow through.

I have found that kids with ADHD and ODD really exhibit signs long before they "snap" if you become familiar with your daughter's triggers or her behaviors before she acts out, you will be better able to talk to her and help her make better decisions. Discussing how she could have handled a situation better (when she is calm) is also a great idea.

Accountability is the key. Making your daughter realize how her behavior affects those around her is very important.

Dominique - posted on 05/11/2010

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My ten year old and he has ADHD he is on Concerta a tablet that I find wonderful. But even though he has ADHD I discipline him like normal. What don't you talk to your doctor about the concerta and maybe giving it a try.

Alicia - posted on 05/10/2010

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I have 2 kids with ADHD. My daughter wasn't that bad but just needed medicine to concentrate now my son is my handful. You really have to be careful when you discipline ADHD kids cause some become ODD(oppisitional defiance disorder) Why they become this way is because they hear NO & get into trouble alot cause they get bored easily & they begin to feel like you are preaching not teaching them. My son is ODD & now we both go to a counselor together so we can learn how to deal with this together. Did I mention my son is only 7 & when I spank him he just gets worse. So now I have to give him warnings(this is your warning if you don't stop doing that because you will break it this will happen you need to stop & think) Yes it is hard to get use to but it really does help. I think sometimes all he needs is somebody to tell him to stop & think about what he is doing. Best of Luck to you.

Kimberly - posted on 05/07/2010

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I have a 10yo daughter diagnosed at 8, and some counciling tips I've gotten and have been successful....



Choosing words carefully when asking them to do something has helped prevent much disciplinary action. Instead of "don't run in the house." Use "we run outside." Also, giving them specific instructions (one thing at a time, and clarifying when.) "Please bring your shoes to your room, now." Changing the way we respond to them makes it easier for them to understand. Then praise them when their task is completed. Also, pick your battles. Would you rather her bring her plate to the sink after dinner, or pick up the pile of cut up paper she made before dinner? Throwing too many tasks at them at once, makes them confused and frustrated.



At disciplinary times, I simply take something away from her that she enjoys most for a couple of hours, or she will sit in her room and write a paragraph about what she did wrong. I found it was easy to ask of her since she's constantly on the move, and the hand motion keeps her occupied. Explaining what they did wrong, and how it affects others helps her understand why she shouldn't do it. Communication is key.



Monitoring her diet has also been a challenge because her appetite is curved on the meds, but I do keep sugar out of the house as much as possible, so she's forced to grab an apple or orange. Cooking healthy foods, but foods that she likes, is vital since she doesn't eat much.



Its all a matter of retraining yourself and your daughter, but practice will result in a peaceful and bonding relationship. I also recommend reading "Side by Side" by Dr. Sophie. It makes you take a hard look at how mother and daughter communicate, and you'll be amazed at how some of the things we do as a mom without realizing it, affect their future. It will force you to think about the way we discipline our daughters.



Best wishes!

Angel - posted on 05/07/2010

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Good luck!! I have a 13 & 14 year old son's with ADHD. My oldest is very oppinionated and expressing his feelings about situation along with fabrication. His stories can be far out. My youngest bottle up and unleash his build up at school so i get a lot of phone calls for both of them from school. I however found that sports kept them out of a lot of trouble. My p roblem now is i cannot afford it and their world is off balance and so is mine. Writing a 100 + times why i want do somenthing and the reason keep them busy while instilling in them why the have to in the first place. Don't forget no TV, video games or radio. take things away from them that they enjoy also helpa

Dawn - posted on 05/02/2010

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i have a twelve yr old with adhd, it is difficult to disipline but what i do is disipline as soon as he has done something naughty, i usually remove things such as tv, x box or his scooter, he does get gounded as well. But be consistent and act quickly.

CHERYL - posted on 05/01/2010

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tell her that she has to do what she is told or you are going to ground her , gradually

Adena - posted on 05/01/2010

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Definately stay consistant with your choice of punishment. I usually go with privaleges suspended and time outs depending on the crime. If my son is having a worse day than usual, I try to stop his behavior before it starts. Coloring always gets him to settle down.

Elaine - posted on 05/01/2010

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I don't believe in spanking kids co-operation is better then you tend to get respect that way it can go the oppisit way with ADHD children and make temper worse.

Amanda - posted on 04/30/2010

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A firm hand --(time out, spank in )let your "no" mean "no" lots of hungs and redirection. I am a mother of two and punishment depends on the caliber of what he done. Hand ful is a understatment

Elaine - posted on 04/30/2010

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I have a boy with ADHD they are very hard to discipline the basis is that children with this are hyperactive and need a lot of stimulation. They tend to get bored easily this can then set the moods off and not listening to the parents. I found with my son it was give him his space let him talk and I would listen to him.
He is now 17 but diagnosed at nine I found it extremely difficult and no support when I found out. They are always on the go and get bored, if they get the stimulation they need then there are less confrintations between parent and child.

Chris - posted on 04/30/2010

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Nutrition is a big thing that I forget to mention. We found out on our own that 3 out of the 4 children were allrergic/sensitive to red dye & would go into emmotional rages when they had it. Another biggie is processed & fast foods with all the addatives, try going a more "natural"way, Not necessarly organic, but try making your own soups & if you can bread, white or whole wheat. You can find easy recipies for bread on foodnetwork.com or recipe.com. This won't be a miracle cure, but it may help

Rose - posted on 04/29/2010

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i have a 12 year old son that i still have a hard time with and i had him checked for ADHD but the doc says he dont have it, but he shows all the signs for it, he gets in trouble in school he dont want to listen to any adults, but i knw he feels left out on alot of things like doing any thing fun why his sisters are out having fun, but the only thing i knw how to do is really sit down with my son and talk to him, but it sometimes helps, but if anyone has advice on this i would like to hear them so i can help him in a better way.....

Chris - posted on 04/29/2010

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I agree, it's hard to discipline a child with ADHD, but depending on the severity of it. My son was never diagnosed with ADHD, but from observations given to his Dr he was pretty sure he had it & put him on meds which in middle school/ jr high he quit taking. I would give it to him, but he'd pretend to take it then throw it out. As he got older he did get into some trouble,but has since gotten his live in order. My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 8 and has been on medication, low dose, but it helps her concentrate in school & get her chors done in the eve. If you suggest to them, why don't you do.... then you can do..... it seems much better than saying go clean your room then you can watch tv, if it seems like their idea it works better. good luck

Crystal - posted on 04/28/2010

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I have 2 with ADHD, and they are a hand full. Here is the thing not all the "ADHD" kiddos are the same. It really depends on how bad it is. Some cases its not that bad they just need more gidance and a bit firmer stand by the parent. Some kids really need a lot more because its not a "choice" for the kids but more a hard understanding.

I have found that if I want something from them I have to break it down. Ie chores: not go clean your room, thats to overwhelming for them and the throw a fit and I yell and we both end up angery and NOTHING gets done. Instead try breaking it down; go pick up you clothing... now go put you toys away... great now make your bed... Tell them they are done with each step and congradulate them for acomplishing it. Rmember if you have told them that they are done DO NOT go back on it. So if you are a checker (my husband is) check after each chore (or step). This is very hard to do at first for both the child feels like they are doing a lot and you always feel like you "having to tell them what to do" but once you got it down than it works better. I gennerally pick one day (the same one every week) and thats the day for cleaning and we get a reward for it afterwards (movie out or home; special dinner or desart; something).

Basic disipline... well thats a bit harder. You need to treat them like everyother child, BUT you also need to be a bit more understanding. You first need to understand that the want will outweigh the knowledge of right vs wrong. Then you need to make sure that the punishment is a. something you can live with and b. suited to the crime. What I mean byt his is it just something that made you mad but really didn't hurt anything: maybe you should punish with (you must get this done before you can do anything else....) or was it such a big deal that it could have hurt them or another where as the punishment would be (if you cant look before you cross the street than you wont be able to cross the street by yourself anymore! This is dangerous and I love you and don't want you to get hurt. So from now on you must have a hand before you can walk outside!). You just really must keep your calm and ask yourself what really was the crime that I am punishing.

Good Luck! It really does get easier with time as you learn to cope with the problems and except that your child just need to be inturprited a little different. But you will both make it through and be better people for it.

Sandi - posted on 04/27/2010

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my son has adhd an you just have to keep up on the kids,repetive repetive.they understand just fine.its will power.who has more you or your child.

Theresa - posted on 04/25/2010

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I found that ADHD didn't effect the way I disciplined. They still get time outs and privileges revoked.

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