Am I the last parent on earth not letting my 11yr buy Modern Warfare or Gears of War??

Deb - posted on 03/01/2012 ( 45 moms have responded )

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We must be the last parent on Earth who haven't allowed our son to get these video games....he's 11 soon to be 12....an only child....and EVERY friend he has owns either: Modern Warfare, Gears of War, or Grand Theft Auto. Parents of 3 friends have admitted they allow the kids to play those games (some allow the younger sibs too). These games are rated M for language, adult content, and violence and gore. Many of his friends play online together and he wants to be able to do this too. He has played the games before (when over at a friends house and at a relative's house)....I think of what's holding us back from purchasing a game like that of his own: he's only 11; the imagery is really vivid; the language (doesn't really bother me since hey...he's 11); but still....I wonder, how did these parents decide it was ok?..that the game was appropriate? ... that a pre-teen mind could understand and realize that, they become desensitized to the violence and blood--knowing how impressionable they are?? what's wrong with me? am I trying to hold him back? Am I trying to keep him a naive boy? is it a bloodlust that's being cultivated? Any advice?

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Corinne - posted on 09/24/2013

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My son (10) isn't asking for such aggressive games yet thank goodness, because he knows he can't really handle it, last week we offered him the opportunity to watch a 12 film, because he loves Spiderman but he started watching it and said, no thanks I am going to bed, I'll read. Lucky me but now doubt this will change so no need for me to feel smug, it is just a matter of time.

I have a friend with a 13 year old who says that none of the kids came to their house for ages because they don't have such games, which is incredibly sad, after all I quite like seeing who my son is hanging out with and how they interact with each other. My son wants a Wii, my husband is against it, seeing as though my son doesn't do much sport as it is. I think it would be a great incentive for him to work at school, because I know that I could use screen time to get him to focus more at school, so arguments in favour of a Wii would be great, if you have any.

Edurne - posted on 04/13/2013

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Ive done research and the effect done on the child is minimal so i think you should buy it but give him strict regulations

Opal - posted on 03/08/2012

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I reallly think it depends on the child and how you as a parent feel. My son is 10 and is allowed E, E10 and 2 T games. That's it. He has the rest of his life to play M games.



I'll admit that I don't think Violent, bloody games make all kids agressive. But I DO think that some children, like my son, are more sensitve toward them and tend to try and emulate.



Whether you allow him to play the games or not is YOUR choice as his parent. But don't let others affect your choice. Just because his friends have and play them, doesn't mean he has to. :)

Kimberley - posted on 03/07/2012

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I think thats not good. Just my opinion. A 5 year old needs to be thinking about making friends and playing nice games. NOT watching people getting ripped up, shot and killed on tv! Kids have no respect these days and think violence is ok because they grow up watching it on tv and playing violent games.

Geri - posted on 06/03/2013

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We're right there with ya, Deb. We have an almost-11YO girl, so it's not exactly the same thing! But there's a long list of things that kids want to do that not all parents are ready for (in our house: Hunger Games!). That's just life. (And, IMHO, a sign of good parenting!)

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Mags - posted on 01/11/2014

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So refreshing to see these posts! My son is 11and we bought him an xbox for Christmas with the stipulation that rated M games would not come into the house. Now he begs me every day to play them with his friends, who all seem to have the M games! Ugh. I keep telling him if I don't let him watch rated R movies, I'm sure not going to let him play rated R games.

Justin - posted on 12/17/2013

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Do not ever let them play violent video games, it not only ruins their brain, but ruins their social life and makes them aggressive. I am with you 100%

Julia - posted on 11/15/2013

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I haven't read every comment but there seems to be point missing to this discussion. I don't allow first person shooter games and my son really like video games and frankly so do I. However there is a bigger issue. When you read the real scholarly research you will see there are some clear negatives to these games. But for me the debate isn't what is the right age. I talk to my son about why, even when he is an adult, I hope he will choose not to play such violent games. There is no benefit to these games and we talk about the kind of man I hope he will become. That doesn't include someone who shoots video game people for fun. If you want to own a real gun and be a responsible gun owner and go to the shooting range that is one thing. But there is a real gravity in shooting a gun and especially in a real world senecio and having a deep respect for life would lead you to not want to play these games. We are a family who grew up on video games and had two gaming systems even before kids entered the picture, but no one plays games that involve pretending to break the law or pretending to kill people.

Julia - posted on 11/15/2013

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Corrine. On the Wii our whole family love ours. My parents have one at their house and they play it even when the grand kids aren't there.

We play games like bowling as a family. The Wii U also has a game called Nitendoland that everyone likes at too.

Idk how old you and your hubby are but I find some of the games nostalgic. If you grew up with Mario there are some Mario games that are good. You can introduce your son to the types of games that were out when you were his age.

You and hubby might even enjoy Wii fit or Wii Sports. Some of the singing and dancing games are fun too and can be done as a family.

We keep our gaming systems in the livingroom so they aren't available for unlimited use.

Aine Marie - posted on 11/15/2013

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I do not allow my eleven year old son play on any of them they are set at an older age for a reason. They promote violence, swearing, racism etc and are not appropriate for children. They are games for adults and shame on any parent who allows their children to play on these games. You are being a responsible parent and doing the right thing

Belinda - posted on 09/21/2013

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No hon, you're not that last parent on earth. We don't allow those game either.

Donna - posted on 09/20/2013

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My son will be 10 next month, and we have no games like that at all here. Nothing with shooting "real people". He enjoys racing games, and cartoon guys - Mario and such. Maybe I'm just lucky, but he hasn't even asked for them.

Jessica - posted on 09/18/2013

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Just because its M rated doesn't mean its bad for your kid.The first thing is your child mature.If they are their fine because they should know the difference between right and wrong.if not wait for longer and see if they change.

Laura - posted on 06/01/2013

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you sad sad mom your son must see these games for they show that life is hard if you must over come hard opsticals show them a weak game like mario then they'll think they will always win. No violent games don't cause horrible things likes the 9/11 attacks games didn't do that nor did drugs, games don't do bad things if anything is to get angry at it should be diseny for making our country and our kids soft we look like canada if we let diseny win.Kids will ALWAYS make mistakes it's our job as parents to be strick while being nice if we're nice then whats our kids so post to get angry at. My boy first played a violent video game when he was 9 two things saved him from whipey-ness politics and violent games....now he's ready to have 4 plans in his life 1:join the C.I.A 2:join the marines then run for govner of Texas then run for president 3:join the marines 4:If all fails the be a major lead baseball player.

Carrie - posted on 05/24/2013

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Deb - I have the same problem. My kids are 11, 14 and 16 and still refuse to even buy an Xbox. They have one at their Dad's and play all these games. They're only there everyother weekend. I hate that he lets them play it, but have told the kids everyother weekend is enough and I'm not having it here becasue I know that's all they'll want to do. The two youngest are boys and they're already addicted to Minecraft. I'm less concerned about my 16 year old daughter, but if it's in the house, the boys are going to want to monopolize it, so all we have now is the Wii. More kid-friendly games.

Barbra - posted on 05/21/2013

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@Haydee-Yes you are so smart! Instead of letting your kids play violet games, you let them watch violent movies that are even worst! At least in video games your brain is doing something and you are not a zombie like when watching tv. look up the effects tv has on your brain waves, at least you are engaged in video games- and oh, get Modern Warfare (DONT GET GRAND THEFT AUTO, it have very...mature stuff in it) or gears because it is fake. you can always turn graphic settings off.

Edurne - posted on 04/14/2013

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Haydee; one of my friends son is six, when he was little his parents didnt allow him to play with violent toys or things and now hes obsessed over war and fighting, as i said before buy the game but imply some strict regulations

ALina - posted on 03/31/2013

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Kids are not stupid. They know it's all fantasy. If a person will have violent tendencies, it'll come to light light with or without video games.

If anything, get him to earn the money, himself.

Haydee - posted on 03/04/2013

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You are being a good parent. There are so many other games and activities they could be doing instead of focusing on violence. God knows there is enough violence in our world today we don't need our kids playing and learning about more violence. Don't give into your kids because we know kids can sometimes be terribly persistent and annoying. When my daughter was 13 I let her watch NCIS and Bones instead of play violent video games that her friends have. Yes, girls play those games too. She did have nightmares of people trying to kill her. So she learned that they were probably not good shows for her to watch although she loves bones and wants to be a forensic scientist. She is now 14 and was able to meet a real forensic scientist at a career fair. Who new this would happen. She might change what she wants to be tomorrow but at least she is not constantly hooked on a video game about stealing cars and slashing people. I'm not a scientist or psychologist but I feel its the repetitiveness of negative images viewed in these video games that affects a young minds psyche. If they seldom view these images it might not be so bad. I know that when I watched the movie The Exorcist, those images stayed with me for too long!

Amanda - posted on 03/04/2013

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My son is five and wouldn't play them anyways. He would rather watch, Destination truth or Finding BigFoot, or how'd they do that or mythbusters. He likes to know how things works and what makes the world tick. I will not be buying these games for him until he understands that they are games and if he was to ever act like no matter how old he was I would bend him over my knee and spank him for the first time in life. My niece is almost two and watches Hell on Wheels, Gold Rush, Flashpoint and watches mom play those stupid violent games and I have to say I have never in my life had to pull a one year off my five year old boy, like all out fight scene from a movie. She swears, she hits, punches, kicks, pulls hair, gouges eyes and when I walked into their house to babysit one day she was watching Sons of Anarchy it was in the middle of a fight scene and she was staring at it, her mom went over to take away the pen she had and she looked right at her and smacked her across the face just like the show had done. Kids mimic what they see and at 11 they are still becoming young men. Maybe if you did get him the game he could only play for an hour at a time and the door stays open or he plays in the family room. If he breaks the rules on an hour a day then take it away. If you see bad changes in his behavior then take it away. Not every kid is affected by what they watch, but some are. You know your kids better then us and you know how you feel about it. Use that and you will make the right choice.

Joann - posted on 03/03/2013

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I fell for the same pressure from my son who is now 14. I am sorry I ever let him purchase it. That is all my son will play now. And the language that comes out of his mouth could make a trucker blush ! ( he thinks I cannot hear him on the headset) do yourself and him a BIG favor don't let him get it. Trust you will save you and him a lot of tears later when you have to take it away.

Krista - posted on 03/02/2013

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My kid's dad lets them have this crap but I don't!! My kids are 12,11,10...I'm told regularly Im "lame"....but Im ok with that lol

Dove - posted on 02/27/2013

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We don't have any video game systems and, most likely, never will. There is a lot more to do in life than to play video games. I 'might' change my mind at some point, but haven't so far in 11 years of parenting.

Jen - posted on 10/27/2012

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I don't let my 11 year old have those games, and I don't let my 13 year old have them either. My 13 year old plays them at friends' houses, and I am aware of it and allow it, but I won't have them here. So no, you're not the only one, but there are a lot of parents that allow it. To me, the problem with a game like Grand Theft Auto is not even the violence or the gore, but the whole concept of the game. Stealing, raping, shooting cops - I'm not sure how that's appropriate for an adult, never mind an 11 yo.

Sherri - posted on 06/11/2012

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My 11yr old was mature enough to play COD and Halo. Maybe yours aren't but you can't lump every kid and say they aren't mature enough. You just don't like the games and choose to not let your child play them. That is fine but you can't say no other kid should. Heck teen game ratings to me are silly, I let my 6yr old play teen games anything rated E is way too easy and far too babyish for him except for Mario.

Jenn - posted on 06/11/2012

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I absolutely hate those games. Both my SS's play those games at their BM's and it drives me nuts. I especially dislike how people try and convince you that shooting and violent games have no effect on kids, I call bull on that. Ever since they first began playing those games, they have been more violent towards each other as well as their little brothers. I do NOT allow those games at my house. I don't care how upset they get, how much they whine or plead, it's not going to happen. It really does bother me how often they do play that type of game though. I really don't see the point or need for games like those. I don't need my kids thinking that just because they can hurt things in a game that they can do it in real life. I'm not saying all kids think this way but I'm not taking chances. Plus, games have ratings for a reason. An 11 year old is not mature. There is no way in hell my kids are even close to "Mature" or even the "Teen" games. When they reach the appropriate ages, then we'll talk. Waste of time and money.

Michelle - posted on 06/11/2012

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My 12 year old son plays MW games but I don't like him playing Grand Theft Auto. Playing war games and playing car stealing games is just two totally different things to me.
He has been playing for about a year now. The Xbox is the first thing that gets taken away as punishment. I think it just depends on your child, talk it over with him and make sure he understands that he is online with other people and what the rules are when it comes to that.

Amanda - posted on 04/24/2012

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I am also not crazy about some of the video games my son has. His dad plays them, so he is also allowed to play them. He is 11 and has been allowed to play these games for the past 2 years and he is still perfectly fine. Since he is being raised in a house where there is discipline and rules, he knows better than to use the language that he hears, and I really doubt he will go find a gun and start shooting people! LOL.. Even though I am not crazy about the games and I limit the amount of time he spends on them, I do not think it would hurt anyone if you bought a game for him.

Karen - posted on 04/19/2012

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I personally wouldn't. Every child is diffferent. however I pretty much stick to the ratings. When it comes to thise games. we buy the e and some of the T.

Becke - posted on 04/16/2012

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We have both of those games and my boys are still very caring and compassionate. It's YOUR choice, YOU are their parents and just because someone else is allowing their children to play them doesn't mean that you have to. That being said, I know most games do the have the option to turn on/off the gore and language. Most of the time I either play the game first or watch trailers before I allow them to play it. A lot of the times I play these games with them because it's a way to spend time with them instead of making them go shoe shopping with me (and they hate me for it).

Ramona - posted on 04/13/2012

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Make your rules and stick to it. We have a rule that no games that have the bad guys the heros. He is OK with it. He does play Modern Warfare, but that fits within our parameters we set for our house.

JIll - posted on 04/12/2012

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Absolutely not!! My son has several friends that play those games and if you have ever seen them DO NOT let your child play them!! They are horrible and corrupt their minds into a fantasy world. My son is almost 14 and he knows if he plays those games at a friends house he can't go over anymore, but the friend can come to our home and hang out. I think it's just a way of some parents deciding "well it keeps him/her entertained and out of my way". I very much support you in NOT letting those games into your childs life. Best of luck!

Cindy - posted on 04/05/2012

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We had the same thing in my household. I think I broke down w/ my son he is the oldest out of 3 boys, when he was 11. Same thing everyone already had it and he hounded me, etc. I do say if your son is old enough to know right from wrong w/ repeating foul language and you have a good household they know better if they are good kids. I do say though stay away from the Grand Theft Auto type games that have sexual content. The modern warfare games are shooting and profanity sounds like I am justifyng it but i totally draw the line w/ the sex stufff! My son is 13 1/2 and I limit how much he can play and use as a punishment tool as well as incentive. However, then here I go w/ the next youngest in the house is playing modern warfare too and here I was a hippocrate always saying I will never let my kids play those games, etc. they are too young.... He also is mature enough to never repeat the words etc. I am just old fashioned though, just wish these games never existed and the kids just play board games and outside!! I do like I said limit it, no games during the week, etc. It is very hard when most kids are allowed to do these things and ruins for the rest of us and the cycle just keeps going on. Hope this helps!?

Natalie - posted on 03/08/2012

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Hi there my sons are 13.9 and 3 and I also feel that they are way to young to be exposed to unnecessary violence and evil. These games are really true to life. Do we want our children to see these type of activities in real life, NO so why let them play at killing people. I believe that children should be children for as long as possible. Keep them pure and unspoilt for when they are big we cant protect them any longer.

Opal - posted on 03/08/2012

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As for what our kids see on TV....I have seen some things come out of SpongeBobs mouth that I don't really think should be on childrens TV. If you look at the Movies that come out now...take Shrek and many others. While they are childrens movies the production companies also throw in the inuendo to make the movies appealing to the parents.

Sherri - posted on 03/07/2012

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Yup that is your opinion and I don't find NCIS to be bad in anyway as a parent. He spends plenty of time making friends and playing nice games.



I also have a 15 & 13yr old as well so shielding the 5yr old as much as I did the older two is virtually impossible.

Kimberley - posted on 03/07/2012

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11 Is too young to be playing such violent games! Would you let your child watch NCIS or Violent, Gorey movies on TV? It may not affect their attitude but they ARE still just children. Kids are introduced to adult concepts way too young these days. You are doing the right thing keeping them away from him

Merry - posted on 03/07/2012

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My 9 year old son has the Modern Warfare games and plays them all the time on Xbox Live with his friends... they have a blast. My son is very caring and isn't violent b/c of his exposure to those games.

Sherri - posted on 03/06/2012

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Yup have to say my 13 & 14yr olds both have them and play them. My kids have definitely not become desensitized to any violence or blood etc. They are still caring, sensitive boys that will still cry at the drop of a hat if they see someone get hurt especially someone they care about.

Deidre - posted on 03/01/2012

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My son is turning 13 in June. I am going through the same thing with him. In our case he has already shown disregard for authority figures and is refusing to do school work. He just got suspended for cussing out his gym teacher!!! So I am not trying to #1 reward him for bad behavior and #2 it feels like it would be Encouraging this type of behavior.



Big picture wise, I am rethinking the war games. Those aren't so bad. They are males and do need different stimulation. I fear I may never comprehend this, especially since I'm raising 3 boys. Maybe when they do this stuff in the gaming world they will get their fill and NOT do it in REAL life?

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