Any help with anger management for a 12 year old???

[deleted account] ( 12 moms have responded )

My son is 12 and has bee diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD . . . his angry outbursts are getting intolerable . . . any suggestions of ways to help him before or during these incidents??

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Mary - posted on 10/04/2012

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My son is 12 and has taken Prozac but didn't have much luck. He refuses to let me (mom) take him to school but anyone else can. He'll also ride the bus. However, the least little thing will set off his anxiety in the morning and he will refuse to go to school and have a fit of anger and I cannot even reach him. He is in therapy and I'm seeking a psychiatrist for further medication management. I just don't know the best course of action during the fits of anger. He has turned over tables in the house, slammed doors and locked himself in rooms, etc. Other times he is very calm and endearing. I have wondered if he's dealing with bi-polar disorder but no one has ever diagnosed him with this. Any suggestions for how to handle things better at home? He is not disruptive at school but his teachers agree that he has trouble focusing.

Rhonda - posted on 02/05/2009

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THERAPY THERAPY THERAPY... My son was diagnosed when he was 15. He is now going on 19 and with the therapy WE have gotten things are much better.. age will also help.. but he needs to get the tools to be able to understand what is going on within his own head... and for us as the parent to try to be understanding to what is going on. Physical activity is a great way to get rid of the pent up energy but it wont help much with the anger... he needs help learning how to control it and let it out in an appropriate way.

Nikki - posted on 06/09/2013

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My daughter is 12 and she has had some tough time dealing with her life. She is starting to snap at non-reasonable things and starts arguments. She's very stressed and I want to help her, but her anger has become a very big issue. What do I do?

[deleted account]

I had to put my son thru anger management. The counsler came to the house and taught him how to control his temper. She also had us make a chart with the 3 things that was the worst he was doing. When he got up in the morning he had to read these 3 things to me and before going to bed he had to do the same thing. If he was able to control his temper and do the things on the chart without any trouble, he got a sticker for that day. After a few days down the road, you make a commentment with them that if they can do this for however many days you set that you will do a project with them at home or take them out on a special outing. She also gave us the idea of if he couldn't get over the temper fit, for him to write down what the problem was. He could show it to us or he didn't have to show it to us, but once he got his problem down on paper and got the temper under contol he was to tear the paper into tiny pieces and throw it away. That problem was never to arise again. I hope this helps you some. I know it helped him and still does to this day. Good Luck - Gayle

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Alison - posted on 02/03/2009

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my son is 12 on thursday he has a lerning diability we got the bat team in thay are verey strickt with him i but it workt of a littel tim i no what its like i carnt take him eney where its sad cos its not his fault iv tryed every thing therers just no help out there i was going to buy him a top with im not noughty im just different on it but the bats team were very good good luck hun in your serch

Kimmie - posted on 02/03/2009

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I have a child who was diagnosed with BiPolar. We tried everything the doctors suggested. We used so many different meds, even took it as far as putting her in a behavioral hopsital. But it just made matters worse. We stopped all and found that if we just dealt with her on a level she could "handle" then things were ok. No yelling, no fighting; if she got upset over being told no or whatever then we walked away and let her cool down and she would then come to us and talk in a normal manor. We have been doing this for 2 years now and it is a huge success. The medication made her more violent and gain weight which caused more anxiety for her. If you would like to talk more in depth I am here. Best wishes!

Danielle - posted on 02/01/2009

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Quoting Julia:

Any help with anger management for a 12 year old???

My son is 12 and has bee diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD . . . his angry outbursts are getting intolerable . . . any suggestions of ways to help him before or during these incidents??



i have 6 sons and my 11 year old has adhd he is totally off the planet sometimes. he has sudden outbursts and refuses to do things it drives me crazy. is your son on medication? mine isnt but am trying to get it. he is calm when playing his psp it keeps his mind active, he gets into lots of trouble at school cos he does not listen  and hates being told what to do. he threw a chair at a teacher and called her an f.@&#$ing slut he got suspended. its not good i know how you feel ......dani

Jing - posted on 01/30/2009

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I agree with Sheri, a physical outlet is a must although it is especially difficult during wintertime, to find something for them to do. Also try to add more protein to his diet - I use high-protein Boost to supplement his protein intake. I started doing that recently and find that he is more thoughtful in his actions, less prone to outbursts and frustration lashouts. If your son is taking ADHD medication, it could also be that he is not on the right doseage. My son is currently taking Vyvanse and his doseage was increased significantly recently. Before the increase, he had a lot of trouble sleeping, was more prone to impulsive actions including temper tantrums and moodiness, and had trouble focusing in school. Since the increase, his appetite has increased, he is sleeping much better and is much less impulsive and hyperactive.

Jennifer - posted on 01/30/2009

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My ex boyfriend's son was also diagnosed with this. We ended up video taping him during these outbursts..in which he used language that would put a sailor to shame. After he calmed down we sat him down and shoed him the tape...he had no memory of the fit and when he watched it he was very embarrassed by his actions...They didn't stop right away.But after a few times of showing the video to him he started to get calmer when these fits hit...



Also what Sheri said is a great idea. An outlet is a very good option. something like Karate where their main focus is self discipline.

Sheri - posted on 01/30/2009

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I think that kids of either or both diagnoses benefit from a physical outlet. I've seen great benefit with a relative who has become focused on swimming. She has an outlet, and only competes with herself. There are still times when it's difficult- esp when swimming is on hiatus for a few weeks, but otherwise it's been a huge benefit.
This is hard because it hs to be soemthing he'll want to do. If you're able to take him away one on one for some experiences to try things out it may help. Ususally after the anger has calmed down (and a sad remorse sets in) is a good time to talk gently about how you understand, he's trying and it's hard. Perhaps we can work together to find some tools that will help...
12-14 years are sweet heartache to watch no matter what. Good luck - Sheri

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