At what age would you leave your child home alone???

Katie - posted on 01/14/2009

Quoting Michelle:

There is a right & wrong way to parent.

It is illlegal to leave a child under the age of 14 years old home alone in New Zealand.

If  reported by anyone,  you could be prosecuted.

 

Right and wrong huh? Sounds like a pretty narrow view to me. I don't suggest anyone do anything illegal but come on, YOU know if your kid is ready for some independence or not. Pot is legal in amsterdam, does that mean it's ok everywhere? I dont live in New Zealand so I can't say that your laws are "RIGHT" for the world. RIGHT and WRONG...Hmmm...Be careful, there is more to life than just BLACK and WHITE you know.

Michelle - posted on 01/14/2009

There is a right & wrong way to parent.

It is illlegal to leave a child under the age of 14 years old home alone in New Zealand.

If  reported by anyone,  you could be prosecuted.

Erika - posted on 01/14/2009

my eldest are 11-f and 13-m. i leave them to go to the grocery and corner store for no more than an hour. my neighbor leaves their 3 alone (same ages +1 older) til they get home from work. i agree with the mom's who say that this should be a responsibility situation. we know our children and their capabilities. the resposibility lies within us to know when they're truly ready or not. maybe set him up with certain tests to see if he passes?

good luck. also, we are all different. we all parent differently. there is no right or wrong.

peace

Josette - posted on 01/14/2009

Another note -- my stepson was 9 the first time I left him alone.  I locked the doors, and ran quickly to the grocery store 1/2 block from our house!  He was completely fine -- played video games the whole time.

Josette - posted on 01/14/2009

My daughter is 11.  Her best friend lives on the other side of our duplex.  Most of the time, there is a parent in the building (either us or her friend's parents).  However, there have been a few times when we've left them alone together.  They stay on one side of the house, lock the door, and watch tv.  Neither set of parents is comfortable doing this yet for more than an hour, although they seem to do okay together.  My daughter isn't ready to stay completely alone yet -- she gets anxious and worried.  Her friend, however, is more easygoing, and probably would be okay for an hour by herself.  I guess that this is a long way of saying that it depends on the kid!

Katie - posted on 01/14/2009

I am a working mom and my kids are now 10 and 12yrs old but even when my oldest was 10 they would stay at home alone after school until I could get home from work. They both felt like they had outgrown "day-care" and it can get expensive. I went over many emergency situations with them and we had emergency places to run or get help (selected neighbors) and they were always to call me as soon as they got home from school. I will leave them now for a few hours at a time if its daylight, if its dark I leave for no more than about 15min. I wont leave them alone after 7:30pm or so. Both of my kids are responsible and street-smart, it all depends on the child, there are some kids I wouldnt leave alone for 60 seconds! Always better safe than sorry, if you're uncomfortable don't do it, you know your kid best and do what you think he is ready for.

Shannon - posted on 01/14/2009

I started leaving my son home alone when he was 10, for just an hour to an hour and a half. Most people told me that he was too young but others said that it all depends on your child. My son is very responsible and he knows what to do in all situations (phone calls, knocks on the door, emergencies, etc.).

Karen - posted on 01/14/2009

I was told that it is up to the parent.   If you feel that he knows that the rules are there for his protection, he won't answer the phone or doors, use the stove...etc....anything you make as a rule.... then it should be fine.  I have been leaving my daughter at home for short periods over the day since she was 10 - she will be 12 in May. I was sure to give her the rules.

I think you can start during the day at 10..... my daughter doesn't like staying alone once in gets dark though...and if we have to leave her for a very short period at night we have our cell....and the door is always locked the minute we leave.

Melissa - posted on 01/14/2009

My son is a very responsible 10 year old and I will leave him by himself for 30 minutes at a time while I run to the store or where ever I might need to go. It seems that as long as he is responsible, knows the rules and knows what to do in case of an emergency then it's alright. You really need to guage the maturity of your child and how he feels about being left alone for short periods of time.

Deanne - posted on 01/14/2009

I allowed my eldest son to stay at home alone when he was 12 and I also had him take the home alone course along with the babysitting course. I felt more at ease after doing this to the fact that he understood the responsibilities that are involved. Besides, some times hearing things and learning certain things seem to stick in a younge mans head if taught by someone else other than continuously from a parent.

Rene - posted on 01/14/2009

My son is 11 1/2 and my daughter is 9 1/2- I will leave him alone for up to an hour. Both of them alone if I do a run close by and gone for only 30 minutes.

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2009

I like the idea Pam of the scenarios and will try this, Thanks!!

Donna - posted on 01/14/2009

You know your son best. if he is responsible enough and not worried about being left alone for short periods of time, i cant see why not. Like you said he knows your rules and has your phone number, and sounds like he wants to have a bit of independance.

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2009

Thank you for the link Donna.I live in England and have had a look on the net tonight and from what I can make out, as of yet  there is no law  for any age (apart from infants and looking after siblings) as long as the child is safe , has contacts ect.  I have been doing this for a couple of months and have had no problems upto now and the longest is usually about 30 mins with me around the corner at my sisters.  I will talk to Declan tomorrow and see how he feels about the situation.

Thank you all for the replies, Jenny x

Pam - posted on 01/14/2009

you could always give him some scenarios and see how he would deal with them. If he gives you the wrong answers then you could have some teaching moments.

Donna - posted on 01/14/2009

I belive that every child is different, and that it depends on the child. I myself have an almost 12 yr who will not stay home alone, and my 10 yr has on a couple of times. As far as the law goes - children aged 10 and able to stay home for 1 - 2 hours at a time. There is also a course that your son could take to make him feel more comfortable. It is simple the Home alone Course here is the website to see if it is offered in your area www.thebabysitterscourse.ca. The other Mother's are right but I feel that if you as the child's parent feel he is ready then it is your choice.

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2009

Thank you for the advice, I did not know there was a  law, I will definitely look this up and show my son. if he sees that he is not allowed by law to stay on his own, he will not ,as he has no choice, if you see what I mean.

Alicia - posted on 01/14/2009

Yes, he is to young to be left alone. Too many things could happen that could have bad results. I believe 12 years old is the age they can start being left alone!

Beth - posted on 01/14/2009

I myself would not leave my 10 yr old home alone.  I think they just arent ready to have that responsibility.  Too many things could go wrong..someone trying to break in, a fire, etc.