Bed time for 11 year old boy

Nicole - posted on 09/09/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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My 11 almost 12 year old is fight every second he has to go t bed. He thinks he knows it all and argues over every little thing. Even when I researched on line an showed him the resulte that he should be sleeping at least 10-11 hours he argues the web sites that they are wrong. They know nothing and he only needs 7 hours off sleep. I am trying very hard to put my foot down, but am excausted from doing it every night. I give him freedom in the morning t have some peace and quiet time. He is not a morning person at all. He is getting up at 6.30 am and I want him in bed by 8.30pm Go to read at 8pm and lights out by 8.30pm. I could be more convinced, if he wants to read, but all he wants to do is watch TV. It is such a power struggle. I am tired of it.

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Jessica - posted on 01/29/2013

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I've got 2 Daughters aged 17 and 19 yrs. I put them to bed at 7 pm on weeknights an 6 pm on weekends.

Kerry-Lee - posted on 04/17/2012

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I believe its up to the individual.

My children get home from school at 3:20pm. They do their homework at homework club at school, the afternoons are theirs - provided they have left their bedrooms in a tidy state in the morning otherwise they have tidy their rooms first.

In summer they have to be in by 6pm, winter by 4pm. We have dinner at between 6:30pm and 7pm. My son goes up to bath at 7:30, my daughter after him. Then its generally quiet family time, we chat, watch TV discuss anything going on.

They both go up to their bedrooms between 8:30 and 9pm. They have until 9:30 to as they please QUIETLY in their rooms then its to bed and lights off. They are usually up between 7am and 7:30am.

Friday, Saturdays and holidays are much the same routine except they only have to go up at about 9:30 and as long they engage in quiet activities they pretty much can stay up until they want, but are usually in bed and asleep by 11pm at the latest.

Tabitha - posted on 03/17/2012

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I'm reading these comments and I just don't understand some parents. Adjusting the bedtime so that your child doesn't argue? How bout saying to yourself that your the parent and you run the household, not your child. How old is the child that goes has the 11pm bedtime on a school night? I'm an adult and I'm in bed by 10:15 most nights. I'm not trying to judge anyone but we are their parents, not their friends. First off, setting a decent bed time and sticking to it, isn't just about getting enough sleep, it's about setting a routine which every child needs. You're also helping them form habits that they'll most likely stick close to as adults. 8pm-10pm is a decent time for bedtime depending on the age. We have 5 kids ages 14, 12, almost 11, 10 and 8. The 14 year old goes to bed at 10pm on school nights, midnight on the weekends. The 3 middle boys are close in age, and share a bedroom, their bed time is 9 on a school night and 10 on weekends. My 8 year old princess needs her beauty sleep or she'll be crabby so she is in bed by 8pm on school nights, 9pm on weekends. Sometimes there are exceptions, if there is an sports event going on or family get together but generally bedtime is bedtime at my house. If they don't follow the rules and get into bed on time, they either go to bed early the next night or they don't get to watch tv before bed. They've learned early on that what Mama says goes, so we usually don't have problems. Be the parent not the friend!

Paula - posted on 10/30/2011

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Well on a school night my child goes to bed at 11:00 p.m. On wekkends she goes to bed whenever!...:) hope this helps!:)

Melissa - posted on 07/28/2012

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That sounds a bit early for his age, most kids that age are in bed about 9:00 and get to read until 9:30 on school nights and perhaps 10 on weekends.

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Hunter Tye - posted on 01/28/2013

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Maybe you should start letting him stay up a little later and let him go to school tired let him go to bed at ten and if he thinks he can handle it let him and when he starts getting tired (if he does and isnt the type of person like me that can run on 8 hours very well) then he wont be as fussy.

Karen - posted on 04/19/2012

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I have an 11 year old boy. He has to be up by 6:30 am so he usually in bed by 9 pm, I say usually cuz there are nights we are running a tad behind. Practice runs late or still doing homework. Those days we run late he's alot harder to get up in the morning. So I know he needs the sleep.

I beleive every parent knows their child ther best however if our changing times just to adviod a fight? Well We are not meant to be their friends. I say let them try and fight me. I will win.

Maddy - posted on 04/16/2012

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My 11 year old used to fight with me but know he got the message his bedtime will stay. He must be in his room reading (assigned 20 min for homework at school) from 8:15pm - 9:00pm. I make him read for 45 minutes. He must be in bed lights out at 9:00pm. He comes home from school at 3:30pm. He does his home work and is finished at around 4:30- 5:00pm. Then except dinner time the time is his. That is plenty of time for him to have fun. In his room he does not have any TV. At 8:15pm when he starts reading I make him give me his DS and cellphone. He wakes up at 7:00am. If he disobeys be he will not get to use his DS or his Phone for a week. We also take away his computer, TV and gaming "rights". That lasts for 2 weeks (used to be only 1 but then he started disobeying me). If he disobeys his bedtime again during the 2 week grounding he will get spanked. He listens to me now when I say time to read and lights out.

Deborah - posted on 09/15/2009

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Is he wanting to watch TV with the family? We found that the was what our son was wanting. Some family time after dinner, chores, and homework. They get so busy sometimes we forget about the downtime. When we allow these nights it's a shower at 7:30pm (relaxes him), 8:00pm snack and downtime with family (sometimes with TV) usually allowing him till 9pm. On the nights I know he is extra tired it's 8:30pm and it depends on his behavior about the routine.
11-12 year old boys sure are about asserting their independence. Just don't let up...adjust maybe but stick to your guns! You can do it!!!!

Yadira - posted on 09/14/2009

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my son will be 12 next month and he literally said that he should be able to go to bed whenever he wants (i don't think so). he doesn't understand that i need a few minutes of quiet before I go to sleep. his bed time is 10pm and it has been for a few years because of other circumstances.
i never had a bedtime for some reason. but there was less to do and watch back in the day lol.

Gabriela - posted on 09/14/2009

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I think too that not all children need the same amount of time.. And of course it depends a great deal on what they do during the day.. I think you should talk to him first and see what's his idea about time to go to bed and also why he would like to stay awake so long.. I remember my parents were sending me to bed a certun hour but I used to stay awake any way after they were fast asleep. If you can negociate with him a more convenient hour for both of you, I think he will be more satisfied and will stop fighting it every night..

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I was beginning to think I was a mean mom by having an earlier bedtime than my son's classmates, whom he claims gets to stay up until 10pm or 10:30pm each night.



My son is 10 1/2 and towards the end of last school year we extended his bedtime to 9 pm, except Friday when he can stay up as late as he wants as long as there is no behavior problems afterward. He has asked again to be able to stay up later. We agreed to try 9:30pm, but any problems in school or problems at home and it will go back to 9pm or earlier if necessary. So far, everything is going good.

ROBERTA - posted on 09/13/2009

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Some children do not need 10-11 hrs of sleep. I think it all depends on what acticities they do every day. My son 11 bedtime is 10pm it was 9pm last year and he started Middle school this year. He seems to be doing ok for now but we will see when he starts after school programs. As long as he is not falling asleep in school I don't worry.

Deborah - posted on 09/12/2009

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Choice your battles wisely!!!! Is it that important to have him in bed at 8:30. My 10 year old goes to bed at 9:30. If I made him go to bed at 8:00, I am sure he would fight me on that. Maybe if you agreed with him that he be in bed for 30 min reading then after he reads he can watch Tv for 30 min and then go to bed. Maybe he wouldn't fight you so much. Let him stay up 30 min longer and as he gets older alittle more.

Stephanie - posted on 09/12/2009

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This year my 11 yr old son started middle school. His bus comes at 7:35, way later than last years 9:15! He has lights out by 9 pm, and i wake him at 6:30. He (and I) both need alot of sleep so i do not bend on his (or mine) bedtime! If we are both well rested, it makes for an easier morning!

Michele - posted on 09/11/2009

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Our 11yr old was in bed the other night at 7:30, but the norm is 8pm with reading in bed, lights out at 8:30pm. I still wake him in the morning for school. He has soccer for an hour and a half 2 nights a week and scouts for 2 hours a night one night a week, plus activities for the other kids. So it is pretty much go, go, go until 7pm, with supper and homework worked in at some point. If he does not get the proper amount of sleep, he is a bag of junk. If he is mouthy or winey, he goes into his room earlier. Last night, everyone from the 5month old to him were in bed by 8pm all lights out. We don't stay up after 9pm, so I would never let my kids.

Kate - posted on 09/10/2009

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My 11 yr old goes to bed anywhere between 8 and 9 pm. But on a school night his TV has to be turned off by 9 pm. I still have to wake him in the morning Mon-Fri, yet on a Friday he stays up later and gets up at a ridiculously early hour on Saturday morning!!

Rachel - posted on 09/10/2009

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My son just turned 12 and his bedtime this year is 10PM. Last year it was 9PM but I had so much trouble last year and before I knew it, it would be 10 before he would finally get to bed and stay there. Now he actually is in bed and asleep when 10PM comes rolling around. It's much more pleasant than the constant getting up to go to the bathroom, or he's thirsty, or he want's to give me ANOTHER hug and kiss goodnight. Your little man is getting older, you may want to think about extending his bedtime out to 9PM if the 8PM thing isn't working.

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