Brother and sister sleeping in the same bed.

Angie - posted on 02/07/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 10y/o daughter usually jumps into bed with my 12y/o son everynight AFTER I go to sleep. They both have there own rooms and one does not have anything different than the other (ie., TV, toys, games, etc.). I have asked why she continues to do this and her only response is she 'gets scared' at night. When do I put my foot down (and how?) and does anyone think this in normal?

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Marie - posted on 10/12/2011

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I would not make a big deal over it. I am sure nothing is happening some noise or something she sees out the window is scaring her. You could put her in his room and him in hers and see if that helps.

Julie - posted on 02/24/2010

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in response to norine miller asking why the kids couldnt come to us if they dont feel safe. my 2 kids only have a 22 month age gap and since she was born he has always played the big brother. he loved his sister and was her best friend. they were so close when they were young that they would go everywhere and do everything together. they ahd the same group of friends. it was lovely to sibblings not fighting. when the thunder started she would run to him because he told her he would keep her safe. when he got frightened of anything there were 4 of us in my bed. me hubby and 2 kids. even today at 19 and 21 they have their own lives have done since he kicked her out of his room but they are still close. they will even sit in each others rooms to watch a film if they're bored. dont get me wrong theyre not perfect and have had their arguments and fights over the years but on the whole they are united and each others best friends.

Julie - posted on 02/23/2010

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my daughter since she was old enough to walk has always slept in the same bed as her brother who is 2 years older than her. she felt safe. then when my son was 12 he asked if i stop her because he wanted his privacy. they will find their own time but maybe if you sat your daughter down and asked her why you could then work on it from there. take her shopping and help pick her own decor for her room and accessories and make her room something she loves. frame a picture of the family and oput it beside the bed with a lamp so she can see it if she wakes in the night sleep overs are good for keeping her in her own room too.. dont be angry with her if she doesnt cooperate immediately and speak to your son and tell him its only because he makes his sister feel safe and she loves him.

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Norine - posted on 02/23/2010

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The rule in my house is/was (I have 2 girls 13 and 11, oil and water right now) if you need to find comfort in someone else's room, thunder lightening, bad dream; than you are the guest but you sleep on the floor. One additional body in anyones bed will only wake more people up. Ask her why she is scared, and ask why she can't come to you, before her brother.

Heather - posted on 02/12/2010

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i can tell you that my kids did that but only as toddlers, once they were school aged, i put a stop to it. alot of people might say it's wrong but in the end you are the mom and u have to decide how to handle it, good luck. hope this helps

Stacy - posted on 02/12/2010

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There is 3 years between my brother and I, when we were kids we lived in a really old house that had lots of strange noise's in the middle of the night....and we both got scared from time to time and we would end up in each others bed's.......for security and that feeling of not being alone. Eventaully I became the evil teenager that liked being mean to her brother and would only let him camp out on my bedroom floor, looking back I was so mean to that poor little boy! lol Now I have an 11 year old girl, 8 year old boy and a 4 year old boy.....and sometimes they sleep together, I find nothing wrong with this...it's just being close to your sibling.....bonding, building that life long connection.

Cassandra - posted on 02/10/2010

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It's kinda sweet in a way, I am glad your kids are close. I agree that you should find out what is scaring her. What does big brother think, is sis bothering him or does he not mind. Maybe suggest she sleep on floor in brother's room and not on bed. Good luck

Tanya - posted on 02/09/2010

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My 10 year old daughter does this with my 11 year old son. She says she is scared too and we found out there was a squirrel constantly making noise outside her window that was scaring her. She was going in my son's room because they are close and she felt safe with him. I have put a stop now that they are both going through puberty but I transitioned her by moving her from his bed to camping out on his floor and now she is back in her bed. First thing you need to do though is talk to her and find out what is scaring her and then like I did transition her back into her own room.

Cheryl - posted on 02/07/2010

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u should find out y she is scared before u do anything else. u may not think she has anything to be scared of, but it is obviously real for her. enought so that she goes into her brothers room. maybe she doesn't feel comfortable/safe anywhere else.

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