DesertRose - posted on 06/14/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )
I was googling "my child has no friends" and found the best responses in this website. My DD is 12 years old, and the description of her situation is quite like some in older posts here. She hangs out with friends at school, is liked by teachers, but none of those translate to friendships outside school. I am doing all that I can and avoiding the things which will transfer my anxiety about her situation to her.
My question is - while I go about doing what I can, encouraging her, talking to her once in a while, getting inputs from moms of her school friends, some role-play, gently going over incidents that happen at school and she shares with me... while I go about all this and more, how do I get a grip on my own melancholy feelings? Instead of being a mature mom like I should be, I have this childish desire that she should have friends like other girls in the area do. She should be chatting on the phone, I should be asking her to limit time on the phone, sleepovers... movies together. When this doesn't happen, I brood. It disables me so much that all the house work remains undone and i neglect my other child.
I know I am doing all I can, and that my child is not particularly bothered by not having friends outside school, but it hurts me no end that she doesn't have friends. I know I should focus on the bright sides - she is a witty, intelligent, fun, well-behaved child and we have no major issues in school or in our family. Just a happy family of four.
How can I get a grip on myself? how do i stop myself from brooding on it no end, especially during the summer vacation when my child is riding her bike or playing outside by herself.
I am not looking for suggestion to help her make friends, looking for how to handle myself and my reaction to her difficulty in making friends.
thanks so much!