Children & Sex Ed

[deleted account] ( 17 moms have responded )

I sat my daughter down last week, and we looked up STD's on the computer. We had a very long discussion on various STD's, as well as viewed pictures. At first, she was very reluctant, and didn't want to talk about it. By the time we were through, she was interested in wanting to learn more, and open to ask questions. This is not the first time that I have had "The Talk" with her, but I took it to the next level. We have to constantly have these conversations with our kids, to keep things fresh in their minds. Today, you cant just say to a child "dont do it because I said so" They need details! Maybe, just maybe, they will think twice before acting on anything. The graphics in the pictures blew her mind!

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Sandra - posted on 07/21/2009

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I think it is wonderful you have those talks with your daughter...I am doing the same. Ever since I noticed her asking questions on anything sex related we started the talks. And especially when she got her period. I was a mother at an early age and my oldest son even knows that he can come to me and ask me about ANYTHING! I am always straight forward and open...even on my own sexual experience (no details...lol) but I think you are doing good. And us as parents now need to do that a lot more with our kids because I agree with Yashika that its better it comes from us to tell them the truth then coming from there friends that probably heard it from other friends.

Yashika - posted on 07/14/2009

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Well I think you did a good thing by introducing to her what lies ahead! I've been talking to my daughter since she was about 8 or 9 because she's so curious and ask plenty of questions. I think not enough parents are open with their kids because they may think their too young to know some of the things they do. But honey let me tell you, those kids know more than we speculate. So that's wonderful, give yourself a pat on the back and besides better you tell her than somenobody on the streets who will tell her the wrong thing and wrong way. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! LOL

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SHERRI - posted on 02/25/2012

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I think its important to teach our teen about sex. This kit is designed to help young ladies make better choices.Over 90% of girls have no idea what ovulating,paps why we have a period and sometimes don't no their pregnant until it's to late.As a mother of 3 having your period coud be painful,stressful,uncomfortabl­e, messy,unexpected,3 days or 7, or just in the way.This is a time when mothers and daughters should become closer instead it builds a bridge from lack of communication and understanding its been a SECRET to long lets talk about it!!!

Deborah - posted on 02/17/2012

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This topic often confuses me.



There seems to be real confusion going on. I agree that the schools should consult closely with parents, but I've heard often 'My child came home from school after being told this, and I'm not happy.' These parents seldom seem to make a point of asking the school about the policy for sex education beforehand - if it is so important to them, why don't they ask right off the bat?



Why don't they talk to their children to actually see what they chat about in the playground, what ideas they're getting about sexuality? This should have been started at home anyway, and is no good complaining that the education system beat you to it.



Dealing with things afterwards is the mentality that might explain the teenage pregnancy rate in this country ( i was one of theses ) the highest in Europe. EDUCATION is the way forward. Children understand far more than we give them credit for.



It is exactly the attitude that bodies/sex etc are 'lewd' or a bit 'innapropriate' that causes a culture of whispers, giggles and shame. Ok, maybe oral sex etc is going too far, but surely discussing loving relationships, how babies are made, body part etc is healthy and positive?



I look around at the fashion for young girls, the Hannah Montana/High School Musical culture obsessed with relationships, boys and being pretty, and wonder how these parents think that this is perfectly ok, with no mention of the 'real' facts of life?



Also, we all watch the news, and unfortunately, not every child has a home where a loving adult can be expected to teach them what they need to know. This education may even help children who are being abused finding a way to speak out. Knowledge is power.



Personally I have no problem with it, my 3 girls (even Freya ) have known the ''facts of life'' in an age appropriate way since they were about 3/4 ...my rule is that if they are old enough to ask the question they are old enough for the answer.



Both girls and boys can start having hormonal changes from this age. Certainly, I'd expect a lot of girls to know about periods by the age of 9 just so that they're prepared.



The other way to look at it is that they would have been given correct information unlike perhaps if they are finding out from friends, and if you feel embarrassed at least you haven't had to approach the subject first.



that's only how i feel lol

Elizabeth - posted on 07/28/2009

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I think the most important thing to do is leave lines of communication open! If you talk to your children about most things, it should be natural to also talk to them about sex issues and anything surrounding body changes. When my son was about 8 he noticed my pads and tampons in the bathroom and asked the question, "Mom, what are those for?" My response to him was simple. I said, "Honey, women have babies, I had you and we have eggs in our bodies. When our bodies aren't using the eggs, we have to get rid of them one time a month, so we bleed, that's why I need those." The condom and STD talk came up when he heard a condom commercial on the radio at age 10. The question was, "Mom, why do they have those commercials on the radio!" Again, an open opportunity to have a discussion about premature sex, protection and STD's!!
Leave the door open...that's the best advice...and be willing to have discussions with your kids.

Sarah - posted on 07/24/2009

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I have just had "the talk" with my 10 yr old daughter, Sadie. Not the first time and not the last I am sure. It was well recd, and timed to match with the school programme. Havent gone any further yet, but will if the occasion arises. As you say, "No" just wont wash these days, and they need to know what can and does go wrong.

Good post!

Lisa Marks - posted on 07/23/2009

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Knowledge is power and you have done the right thing. I talk to my boys all the time and I stress the fact that there are incurable and deadly diseases out there and that it only takes one time. I have heard that oral sex is the new thing with the teens and I stressed to my boys that you can get stds from that as well. If we don't protect our children with knowledge they will be the next victims. I'm a nurse and see people daily that have stds and even the curable ones can cause irreversible damage. Keep on and allow them to ask questions.

Sarah-Ann - posted on 07/22/2009

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These posting are just great. You have done a wonderful job doing what you do. It is easy to think that kids will know it all but as parents we have to fill in the gaps, and know the truth and not just hear things from friends and what others say on the play ground.

Leslie - posted on 07/22/2009

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You did the right thing by telling her all you did about sex ed. My daughter is 11 and weve talked several times but the first one wasnt until last year when she was 10. She had never asked many questions before that time and I knew theyd learn about periods and stuff in school this year so we talk and answer questions. I do admit it was hard and uneasy in the beginning but u cant feel that way. You did the right thing by finding resources for her online so when she has questions you dont have to say IDK! My daughters school (5th) grade had the talk about periods this yr at 11 (we did too at that age) but they incorporated sex ed into it also (which we did not learn till HS) and I did go find out what it was about and it was very age appropriate and so it is the best thing to do to talk to your children before they learn it from other kids or school or find out the hard way. Way to go!

Sherri - posted on 07/20/2009

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Wwhat do you talk about with her and how do you start the "Doin it" conversation. All my daughter talks about is boy's and she's just about 12 It's driving me crazy

Rosemary - posted on 07/19/2009

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I am not going to debate, you are absolutely right. I have done the same with my 11 year old boy. I think every year we get to greater depths. I am willing to help him understand and take it to many levels if need. I rather explain it to him before his little friends try to. I am totaly with you on Sex Ed. Rosie From N.Y.

Lissette - posted on 07/19/2009

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ok i have two boys..and they hear and learn about sex in school from kids.. i just dont know how to get around to start talking about or the right way

Barbara - posted on 07/19/2009

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I started talking to my children as soon as they started asking questions. We started by teaching the proper names for body parts, and since my son and daughter are only 18 months apart they knew the difference between boys and girls right away. I have always been honest with them every time they ask me a question about anything. There has never been a stork, and there have never been baby names for their parts. Their first "talk" was actually when they were 4 and 5 years old. I answered their questions honestly and they learned the mechanics of sex and how babies were made. Now, at 9 years old, my daughter knows she can talk to me about the changes her body is going through, and the feelings she has. My son is your average 10 year old and still thinks girls are gross, so he claims he will never "make a baby". He says there are plenty of children out there who need a good father, so he will adopt. I keep telling him that he will change his mind about sex someday, but he has yet to believe me! I have always believed that honesty is the best policy, and being open with your children helps so that you never have to build yourself up for "The Talk" because you teach them bits and pieces as time goes on. You can't expect your child to learn to read in one sitting, so how can you expect them to learn about sex in one conversation?

[deleted account]

Theresa, I will just be frank...I started talking to my daughter when she was 7. Gradually, the conversations got a little more intense. Its not just a one time conversation that you have. You have to keep the line of communication open, and let her know that it is okay to talk to you about these things. Better you than someone else. Kids today at 9, 10 on up ARE having sex, and not just that. Oral sex is the thing to do today with these kids. You have to start talking to her, before one of those older boys do. I had my daughter at 16. My mom never talked to me about sex. It wasnt spoken of. Sure, I was told to never let anyone touch me there. I wasnt a fass girl, just curious and didnt know any better. Way to many STD's out here! I personally know a teenager who is HIV positive....

Theresa - posted on 07/16/2009

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Wow.. I have just joined & this is amazing.. Why did I not find this sooner!
How do you get up the courage to talk to your daughter about such things.. My daughter is 10 & I know I desperately need to sit her down & start talking about these things as she is a well developed & mature girl (& especially as she is know talking to & texting older boys), however everytime I think I have the courage to do it.. I cant go through with it.. I look at her & think she's just a little girl!! But I want her to know & be fully prepared with knowledge of what lays ahead. Any advice, tips etc would be fantastic!

Veronica - posted on 07/14/2009

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Well, my daughter and I took a "for girls only" class at Children's Hospital. It covered all the basics and then some. We had already had most of "the talk" but this opened up another avenue of discussion. She had much of it from her 5th grade teacher and that helped open up the first avenue of discussion. Now the biggest question from the class was "does it hurt to have a baby" but the lecturer said that having intercourse without love or having an STD was worse, which opened doors for us to talk.

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