Do you have a group for moms of teenage daughters?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

21 Comments

View replies by

Laura - posted on 03/04/2009

6

6

0

Hi Susan,



I also have a 15 year old and sometimes get the "filtered" story.  I think one of the hardest transitions to make as a parent is from childhood to adolescence (although the absolute hardest is transition from teen to young adult).  When they are younger, we have more control and knowledge of the influences in their lives.  Also, when they hit the teen years there are all kinds of things out there that hurt them and lead them down a bad path.  I guess my advice would be to lower your communication expectations a little bit and pick and choose your opportunities to find out more.  Sometimes you have to trust that you raised them with the ability to tell right from wrong.  One thing I have learned is that the more you question them or seem to not trust them, the more secretive they will be.  I'm not saying, give her free rein, far from it, you need to know where she is going and who she will be with, set curfews, etc... keep your eyes and ears open and provide one on one opportunities for you and your daughter to spend time together (without distractions).  Dinner out, shopping.  Another thing I have done is open my home (when I am there) to my daughter's friends.  You can learn alot by observing their interaction as well.  Obviously if her schoolwork is effected, there should be consequences for poor performance or bad behavior. 



Hope this is helpful.



Yours,



Laura

Susan - posted on 03/02/2009

9

3

0

Thanks for responding.By the way my daughter is 15. I think its really more about secrets then lying. From HW to friend issues and more. Maybe it is my expectations of what I think she should share with me.Also, sometimes I know she is not telling me the whole story about something and if i should wait to see if she will eventually come through. Confronting her absoluely does not work.I worry about her good judgement in certain situations there is so much peer pressure out there. How can i talk to her without her becoming defensive. Any help would be appreciated.

Laura - posted on 02/27/2009

6

6

0

Hi Susan,



I don't mean to pry but ,can you be a little more specific?  All teenagers keep secrets and that's not necessarily a bad thing.  Lying is generally not good, but they all do it.  Sometimes it's appropriate to "freak-out" and others it's not.  Would love to help.

Susan - posted on 02/27/2009

9

3

0

Hi Moms

I have so many issues I am not sure where to begin. What do you all do about secrecy and lying?I know teenage girls need their privacy but it makes it difficult for me to trust my daughter at times. Any advice would be appreciated.

Laura - posted on 02/13/2009

6

6

0

Hi Julia,



My youngest daughter is like that.  She keeps a lot to herself and is reluctant to talk with us about things.  I find that my middle daughter, who she is very close to, is very helpful in keeping me informed.  Also, I've found that "road trips" or car time is a unique opportunity to talk about what's going on in their lives.  One on one time is good, an "impromptu" dinner out.  Mostly I find the indirect approach more helpful with my younger daughter, chatty and informal.  I also share my own personal experiences to help her see that in many cases, things aren't so different between us.  The "sit-down" is rarely effective, except in cases where serious issues need to be addressed.  Above all, maintaining an honest open relationship is key.  Sometime you have to let them come to you on their terms.  This type of thing can't be forced.  My daughter has come to me in couple of situations (friends having sex and doing drugs) to talk to me about whats going on and how she feels.  I'm probably more open than many moms but I find that the openess pays off.  I don't react like my mom did and they end up telling me alot more (even though inside sometime I'm totally freaking out!).  The more information you have the better you can be at navigating through the difficult teen years.  Hope this was helpful.



Laura

Julia - posted on 02/13/2009

11

10

2

Hey Laura-

I have one of my girls who is hard to reach and easily withdraws (not at all like the others) We are trying to get her to be more honest with us about where she is at emotionally any tips on getting her to be more transparent with us (my husband and I) and always telling the truth, would be appreciated! We are making some slow progress.

Julia - posted on 02/13/2009

11

10

2

Hi Jan!

I have 6 daughters 3 of them are teenagers ( I have 5 teens total at the moment) right now!! Sigh! Can I say I feel your pain?

Anyway, yes, the hormones, the tantrums, the dis-respect can get a little thick sometimes, we have done various things to help the situations that you can get into with teenage daughters and we're still working on it. Some of my girls were easier than others as well! Would appreciate seeing what happens in this group and sharing experiences with other moms. By the way, I loove my girls!

Susan - posted on 02/12/2009

9

3

0

I am so glad this group is growing ! It would be geat to have other moms support. Girls can be wonderful I agree. Its such a complicated relationship between moms and daughters that can make the teen years so difficult.I hope we can all support each other.

Laura - posted on 02/11/2009

6

6

0

Hi Ladies,



I joined the other group, but wanted to leave a note here too.  I am a mom of three daughters (20, 15 & 13) and I have been around the block a time or two with each one!  I've address most of the sensitive issues detailed above with them and many more.  So if anyone needs advice or just needs to rant, let me know.  Girls are hard, but they are a tremendous joy as well.  There is nothing like the bond between a mom and her girl(s)!  :)



Take care,



Laura

Sue - posted on 02/11/2009

14

17

3

Hi girls,



its up and running, just go to conversations and it should be listed 'Our Teenage Daughters'



Hope to see you all there.



Sue

Sue - posted on 02/11/2009

14

17

3

Hi girls



I have just created a community for this subject, so when it is set its called 'our Teenage Daughters'



Chat soon.



Sue.

Sue - posted on 02/11/2009

14

17

3

Hi girls



I have just created a community for this subject, so when it is set its called 'our Teenage Daughters'



Chat soon.



Sue.

Sue - posted on 02/11/2009

14

17

3

Hi Susan,



I live in Essex in the UK. have a boyfriend (we don't live 2gether) he treats my kids like his own and I the same with his kids (who do not live with him). we have bn 2gether for 2yrs and share the responsibilty of my 16 yr ol daughter but normally the final decision is down to me, by his request.



I havent got to the stage of dealin with older boys just yet, Thankfully, mine is only 8, and dont (thank god) have to deal with drug abuse issues, sexuality is also not an issue, my daughter has a boyfriend who will b 18 in june, but i always feel like he probably pressures her where sex is concerned.  I think that although they need to find themsleves at that age they end up not carin who they hurt in the process, or how they get to the place that they want to b.



Girls r more challenging i think, do you have a close relationship with your daughter to the point where you can sit and talk about anything. thats normally a gd place to start.



Get in touch soon, i will try to help where i can.



Sue

Susan - posted on 02/11/2009

9

3

0

Hi Jan

It would be great to forn a group of moms we need all the help we can get!

Susan - posted on 02/11/2009

9

3

0

Hi Sue

I live in brooklyn Ny and have an 18 yr old son who is away at college, i am married so we are raising our 15 yr old together.I feel more challenged by my daughter then my son. I think girl issues can be more difficult around drug use and sexuality among other things So it would be great to talk to other moms about this.

Sue - posted on 02/11/2009

14

17

3

Hi Jann, My name is Sue, ihave bn responding to Susan posts about teenage daughters, im sure that if we start something here we will get more and more posts. we cant always give our other half ear-ache over the daughters even though they deserve it sometimes.



So, Jann anything in particular you would like to chat or rant about, im sure us mums have been through enough that we can help each other.



hope to hear bk from you.



Sue

Jann - posted on 02/10/2009

1

3

0

I'd love to get in on a group like that! I have a 14 year old daughter & it would be great to have a group to talk to. - Jann

Sue - posted on 02/10/2009

14

17

3

Hi Susan, That is just fine with me, i think i have been through enough to give as much advice and help as i possibly can, if its a prob that i have never come across i will very much do my best to help, us mums with teenage daughters need to stick together, especially when they think they know it all but they really don't.



So, wot can i help you with or want would you like to rant about. 



Where do you live, how old is your daughter, are you married or a single mum or with someone, do you have other children?



Sorry about all the questions.



Sue

Susan - posted on 02/10/2009

9

3

0

Thanks for getting in touch with me. I would really like to talk to you about teenage girls!

Susan

Sue - posted on 02/10/2009

14

17

3

Hi Susan, My name is Sue, I haven't seen one but if you want to rant about urs or need any help please feel free to use me.  I have 2 daughters one is now 20 and left home but the other is 16 and lives at home and is in her final yr at school, I started a new relationship in 2007 and she has given us our fair share of probs and really tested our relationship. Don't get me wrong they have a gr8 relationship and have done since they first met and he absolutely adores her and would do anything for her, you would think they were father and daughter. But she has given us so much grief over the past 2yrs that i am sometimes surprised that we r still 2gether.



So if you want to sound off you know where to get intouch, its always nice to speak to someone who has it worse or the same experiance as u where the kids 4 concerned.





Take care and b intouch soon.





Sue

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms