Eleven year old daughter suddenly going through traumatic mood swings

Christy - posted on 06/14/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Two weeks ago my daughter went to state cup . They worked so hard and long to get there. Also the traveling team she was on she had some acceptance issues. At the same time although I never thought about it when we took her to therapist my niece who iis 21 moved in with us for the summer. I thought this was mainly about soccer and me pushing her to attend all the things she committed to wether tired or not. She is involved in multiple activities. Thought maybe she felt overwhelmed. She cries, says she feels guilty about her thoughts, has to tell them or her head will blow off. Where to begin. All negative thoughts are about me, her mom. She doesn't know if she loves me or ever did, she thinks I am ugly, have wrinkles, she doesn't like my hair. She thinks my butt is highly and I am not a good mom. Sometimes....... My husband has taken off with her all week. She saw a therapist and will continue to d so. She's always been jealous and clingy. Thinks people even her brother hate her if they do ot talk to her .. Ie being center of attention. She even told me how extremely mad she gets when I talk to others instead of her. She and her brother are 9 yrs. Apart. I am trying so hard to not be mad at her.... Not to take it personal. My husband has done so well with all this! Help

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Ginger - posted on 06/16/2012

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It sounds as if she's resentful of you for perhaps pushing her to do things she didn't want to necessarily do. I think we, as parents, sometimes feel our kids need to do things in order to be happy, and we forget to take their feelings into consideration. My SIL pushes our niece to get involved in sports, theater, church, etc., and she hates and resents her for it. Instead of pulling back, and letting her daughter decide what's important to her, she just keeps pushing. The best thing to do is work with a therapist to see if she can shed some light on what's really going on. I'm sure she doesn't hate you, but maybe is just resentful. Do you think that perhaps having your niece move in is also a problem? Maybe she's jealous or feels that your attention is being taken away from her. Tell her you love her even when she tells you she does not. Sometimes kids push our buttons to see what kind of reaction they an get out of us. I wish I had a better answer for you. Best of luck to you.

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