Harassed by my son's stepmother - what do I do?

Lulu - posted on 09/17/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 12 yo son's step mother is very controlling. She claims to be a legal guardian and signed paperwork saying so, introduces herself as his mother, directly contradicts things that me and his father agree on carrying out, punishes him by taking his cell phone away (the only way that he can get a hold of me), tells him that the way I do things is wrong, etc.. My son's father just let's her take the reigns and handle everything. He's not even around the majority of the time that my son is scheduled to be at his house. After years of asking that issues concerning my son (including scheduling) take place between the legal guardians only (me and my son's father) I am at the end of my rope. I try to contact my son's father and she replies. He doesn't give me information about my son, she does. I've had to block her emails because she won't stop contacting me even though I have repeatedly asked her to stop and made it clear that my son's father is the only person I should be talking to. She acts like she is the other legal guardian in the matter and my son's father acts like he's not. She is manipulative and incessant. She purposefully makes her emails sound all nice and fluffy, rather than threatening so it is difficult to bring charges against her, but they are relentless and she won't stop no matter how I ask. After blocking two email accounts, she's resorted to calling me on the phone. I feel harassed and bullied! Why should I have to deal with her at all? She has no boundaries and is not a legal guardian. Is there something I can do legally to make her stop? Anyone have experience with this kind of thing? I need help! Thanks!

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Cheryl - posted on 08/20/2013

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OMG...I have the same problem. My sons stepmom caught him texting with me on a regular basis and recently took his phone so we could not communicate with one another. This interferrence has been going on for 12 years now and not one judge will tell her to stay out of it. I feel your pain!

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Cristal - posted on 02/06/2014

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You are not alone! I have been dealing with this same EXACT thing since 2007. I wish I had some good advice to give to you. I have politely asked her to stop, even brought it up to my ex-husband. And it worked for about 2 weeks. But now she is crazier than ever! It is so frustrating!!

Deborah - posted on 09/18/2012

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Lulu,

This sounds difficult. I find that the women my ex-husband dates are very much in my children's lives. It is a different situation, but I actually embrace the fact that his present girlfriend is in my children's lives. I often have phone conversations with both of them or emails with just her or both of them. No amount of energy on my part will cause my ex-husband to be more involved with my children. I feel they are more cared for when they are with him because she is actively involved. Each situation is different, but my point of view is that it takes a village to raise a child.

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