help!! my 10 year old says he is sad!

Kim - posted on 08/26/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 10 year old son started 5th grade on his 10th birthday, he is the youngest in his class. Since the weekend before school started he has been acting diferent. He says he is sad. He thinks he can not fall asleep at night...he is asleep within 10 minutes of going to bed. He is obsessing about his stomach hurting and not being able to go to the bathroom. He did seem to have a virus over the weekend and c/o constipation...due to all of the junk he ate at his birthday party was my thought. He said he has been able to go normally for the last 2 days now but he continues to think his stomach hurts because he needs to go more. Yesterday he came home from school and asked me if children can be depressed. He says he is sad, that he feels ok at school but when he gets home he is sad. He denies trouble at school, no one is being mean, he is talking about his "sleep issues" at school with his classmates-asking them if it is normal not to be able to sleep. He cried for a long time yesterday because he is sad and doesn't know why. This morning I was going to leave to drive my daughter to school, his bus comes about 5 minutes after I leave and his dad was here with him to wait for the bus...he started crying again and didn't want me to leave. He doesn't want to eat because his stomach hurts. I know he is having a hard time adjusting to his new schedule, school bus comes at 7:10, new kids, new teacher...but he denies difficulty at school...says he just doesn't know why he is sad. Any ideas because now I am crying too!

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Ryen - posted on 09/22/2011

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I know this is an older post so if your problem is fixed, awesome! However, I have a question, is there anyway you can go up to his school one a week and have lunch with him or help out in his classroom? Also, have a in depth confo with his teacher.my son, for about three years now, will occasional crawl into my bed, he's 10, and say to me that he's sad and will start crying. We are Christians so I pray right there with him, then I talk with him and tell him it's ok to be sad every once in a while. But it sounds like your little guy needs some one on one and attention, IMMEDIATLY! Was he sad before school started, over the summer? Is it a new school? Has anything changed in his life, besides goin to a new grade? Does he do sports? Is there any adult, besides his teacher, that has access to him, or spends a lot of time with him? If he's been great before, then something around him is causing it are you friends with his friends moms? Maybe it's just hormones....let me know how he is! Cheers!

Laura - posted on 09/04/2011

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I think your observation about him having difficulty adjusting to a lot of change is right on the money. Emotional and mental stress can, and often does, manifest itself with physical symptoms such as stomache ache, headache, sleeping problems (too sleepy or can't sleep) and eating problems. I agree with Wendy--first thing you should consider is a visit to the doctor to confirm that there isn't anything physically wrong with your son. The doctor may even be able to discuss some coping strategies with you to help your son deal with the stress from transitioning to this new school year. My younger sister used to get a "nervous stomache" and this is what my mom would have her do: She'd explain that when people sometimes get nervous they get butterflies in their stomache. The butterflies just want out so...Open your mouth wide and let them fly out! My sister would stand there with her mouth open for a few moments and when she finally closed it she would feel better! She even did this into high school! She's done this as a coping stretegy with her own kids. Who knows, it might help!

Next I would do what Tamara suggested--contact your son's guidance councelor and let him/her know what is going on. Having someone at school to talk to can help with some of the stress. They can also report to you about your son's behavior, either positive or negative.

Finally, if the problem persists after a few weeks (time to adjust to the changes at school) then you may want to consider a therapist. A therapist trained to deal with adolescent issues can often get to the root of issues that kids just don't want to tell parents either because they're embarassed or afraid mom and dad would be angry. Your school or doctor may be able to recommend someone for you. Hope this helps and good luck!

Wendy - posted on 08/29/2011

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Sounds a bit like a nervious stomach...my older daughter suffered with it always in her school years, She complained of not sleeping and feeling sick everyday before school. I did and i advise you to seek a doctors advice first to confirm nothing physical is wrong. It got better as my daughter grew i encuraged her to go to school every day.....worked on her self assteme and got involved with her school myself, lunch room supervisor, reading to kids, anything to help her see school was a cool place she needed to be....

Tamara - posted on 08/27/2011

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Maybe having him talk to the school councilor, So he can have someone to talk to about things. Sometimes at that age they don't want to bother mom with whats going on.

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