HELP!!! My 11 daughter developing boobs & very upset over it

Alicia - posted on 06/23/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Ok here is the situation my 11 daughter(she turns 12 in July) has developed enough boobs to have to wear a bra. She hid it from me by wearing big shirts & slouching. She is very upset over this(I mean crying & hiding in her room) & I really don't know what to do!!! I know she is embaressed because I have big boobs & her girlfriends have made comments like my boobs jiggle when I walk. I never where low cut shirts around my kids or thier friends. I don't know how to make her feel better about getting them. All of her friends already have them & have been wearing bras for 6 months or more. I want her to be able to be comfortable & not worry about someone noticing that she has developed boobs. What do i do???? Any suggestions are welcomed.

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Maria - posted on 08/19/2013

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My daughter is 11 and she had started to wear a teenager's bra when she was 9 cuz in that time her boobs started to show. And know their are bigger that a 13 year old teen you see online.

Taranjeet - posted on 11/03/2012

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just tell her 2 wear only a tank top then a training bra then a real bra

User - posted on 10/28/2013

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oh poor thing think she need a bra just say i was like you and this is what you came through and i hope is was very helpful!!!!!!

Patricia - posted on 11/04/2012

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take her out andbuy her a very good sports bra that will hold them firm....then explain what our boobs are just extra skin and what they are used for....when we become a women and get married to someone we love oneday when you have a baby we use them to breast feed ......that all females get them some have more than others,

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Leah - posted on 12/20/2013

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My daughter had really big book sand she is worried about it can u help me by advice

Nico - posted on 09/16/2013

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well tell her that you noticed that her boobs are developing and she might need a
bra I got my first bra when I was only 9

Cathren Agatha - posted on 05/13/2013

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i'll have my daughter respond to this one;
OMG! Im 11 & totes imberrased of my boobs 2! theres nothin 2 worry about, tho. b proud of hoo u r & nobody'll make fun of u. Nobudy notices em. I man u cant cuntrol how big ur boobs r but u can cuntrol ur postur & hun-ay, it sooooo unatractive wen u slouch!
stand tall, :)
Cat

Emily - posted on 10/31/2012

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Tell her to wear a super small bra and it may squish her boobs to a smaller size

Just Kid\\\\in

Emily - posted on 10/31/2012

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Listen I know what your daughter is going through. At the age of 13 my breasts were size 32b cup. My friends would make fun of me. It was awful. I didn't want boobs. When I was 17 I was a 48 double D. I talked with my friends a lot and they really helped me with what I was going through. Maybe plan a slumber party in which she can invite her closest friend(s) and you could talk to them about girls stuff. This may help her build confidence and her friends may realize that shes not very different from them. Hope this helps:)

Telika - posted on 06/28/2010

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hello,please just keep encouraging and complimenting her its also time for the talk bc if you never talked to her about development then no winder she is freaked out.i would slso tell my friends to stop or just not make boob jokes whenever she's around bc you are trying to promote positive self esteem.good luck

Alicia - posted on 06/28/2010

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Thank you everyone for your input & suggestions. @ Sherri I have talked to my daughter about her body & have tried to prepare her for this why do you think she tried to hide it from me. My daughter is a tomboy & doesn't want to be treated any different & I have tried to explain that there is nothing we can do about it & she will have to learn how to deal with it. @ Diana I too bought my daughter the cute little bra & panty set you are talking about & the bras always came up missing too but my daughter didn't think they were important so never kept track of them. @ Missy my daughter is the only girl in our family(kids that is) my sister has two boys & I have one soo she is out numbered & tries to fit in with the boys alot.Thanks again everybody!!!

Phaedra - posted on 06/27/2010

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I got my daughter sports bras. They help to flatten the chest it is the only bra she will wear. My daughter is a tomboy and to her developing boobs is the worst thing that can happen to her. I Just tell her it is a fact of life and keep being herself. Other people might treat her different but to me she will always be my little girl. I do have to ask her if she is getting to big for the ones she has. But I try and made a mother/daughter day of it. Take her out to lunch and make it seem like it is something for just me and her.

Missy - posted on 06/26/2010

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my daughter is mortified of any kind of girly change she is the only girl in the family (besides me) with 2 brothers and one on the way and she is developing quickly but i let her ask questions and give her a honest answer that suits her age group but she realizes things like this happen and she has to deal with it

Sherri - posted on 06/26/2010

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I probably am going to come across as a little harsh. But she is twelve yrs old why wasn't she prepared by now for this. I was already full developed at 12 and was in a C cup. I had to wear bras at 10 yrs old. I am now a double D cup. If you are well endowed then you really needed to prepare her for this well before 12 yrs old. She is going to have to get over it as it is her body and she is not going to be able to do anything to change it.

Leonie - posted on 06/25/2010

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OMG! Poor thing. I don't have the issue of big boobs and my 11 year old daughter is developing boobs but not to your daughter's extent. In my experience, I have talked to my daughter about the body changes she will face as well as the changes boys will face. I have been honest with regard to how she may be treated and how boys always look at your boobs first before your face. I have told her to try and not react to much as I feel that just gives them the power over her. Just nod her head and say, "yep, i got boobs" act like it is no big deal. This will not be easy at first as she is already self conscious. And I agree, let her continue to wear baggy clothes until she feels confident with her body shape. Let her know what happened to you and how you handled it, whether it was a good choice or bad or how you may have handled it better. Good luck!!

Diana - posted on 06/25/2010

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OMGosh. My daughter is 10 1/2 and lives with her dad. I bought her a couple of bra and panty sets last year. Bra was just a cute cupless top like a bra, to help her get used to when she will be needing to wear a bra. They mysteriously disappeared and when I asked her dad, he had no clue. She said her stepmom didnt like them for her, she was too young for them. WHAT! I was not happy about that.
I myself am very top heavy and short. I have always battled the nasty cat-calls and boys/men acting like they have never seen anything like them. As a teenager I too wore baggy shirts and nothing revealing. I did finally get a breast reduction a couple of years ago at the age of 42. This article makes me sad and wonder if my daughter is feeling the same way? I talk to her over the phone several times a month. I am overseas in the military and can't to talk to her in person. She lived with me last year but when she went to see her father over summer break, he CONVINCED her to stay there, it was a very ugly situation. She loves us both, but he had her in person so it was hard for her to leave where she was at.
Anyway, I find it hard to REALLY be able to talk to her and know whether or not she is doing alright. Her dad is always in the background when we talk. I hope she does not have the same issues I had growing up and hope she will be comfortable talking to me if she has issues. I'm confident he is a good father, we communicate well for the kids sake. I will have to bring this up to him again.

Sandy - posted on 06/24/2010

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I heard a cry one more from my daughter's room. It was please make them go away. She is 10. I bought her bras i explained that right now there are certain clothes she has to wear a bra with and there will come a time when it will be needed for all. allow her to keep wearing big shirts. My step daughter didn't want any one to notice she was becoming a woman so she hid it for years, not from family but from school with loose clothes. She just wasn't ready to face growing up. Keep being positive and it will work out but see if there may be an underlying reason like she is afraid of what is happening to her body. Lots of changes are going on and it can be scary.

Monica - posted on 06/23/2010

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I found this book helpful with my 11 year old, when her body started changing. It is so hard growing up. Good luck!
"The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library)"

Phaedra - posted on 06/27/2010

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I got my daughter sports bras. They help to flatten the chest it is the only bra she will wear. My daughter is a tomboy and to her developing boobs is the worst thing that can happen to her. I Just tell her it is a fact of life and keep being herself. Other people might treat her different but to me she will always be my little girl. I do have to ask her if she is getting to big for the ones she has. But I try and made a mother/daughter day of it. Take her out to lunch and make it seem like it is something for just me and her.

Leonie - posted on 06/25/2010

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OMG! Poor thing. I don't have the issue of big boobs and my 11 year old daughter is developing boobs but not to your daughter's extent. In my experience, I have talked to my daughter about the body changes she will face as well as the changes boys will face. I have been honest with regard to how she may be treated and how boys always look at your boobs first before your face. I have told her to try and not react to much as I feel that just gives them the power over her. Just nod her head and say, "yep, i got boobs" act like it is no big deal. This will not be easy at first as she is already self conscious. And I agree, let her continue to wear baggy clothes until she feels confident with her body shape. Let her know what happened to you and how you handled it, whether it was a good choice or bad or how you may have handled it better. Good luck!!

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