Help, my 13 year old son is wetting his pants.

Stacy - posted on 06/14/2010 ( 22 moms have responded )

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It started about two years ago, I took him to the doctor and there is nothing physically wrong with him, he holds it all night. He wets himself during the day while and he will not discuss it with us. We have grounded him and took privledges away nothing seems to work. Has anyone ever experienced this? Any suggestions.

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Veronica - posted on 11/09/2012

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Hi i have a nine year old boy who only wets himself when he go,s to a friend,s house they are playing on the play station i make him go to the toilet befor he go,s but he still wee,s i ask him why he does it and he just say,s i don,t know.can you help

Joel - posted on 04/11/2013

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i'm a dad,i have a son who is 13 son who pees the bed,my girlfried thanks he s being molested,,and all she does is yell at me and my son,im ready to leave her.i know he is not.

Stacy - posted on 06/18/2010

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Update- I took him to his regular Pediatrician and he met with my son for a while. The Dr determined that the wetting of his pants is due to constipation issues, how weird! This made total sense now, he has been very irregular and has had issues with constipation all his life and the fullness of the colon pushes on the bladder and by time his body signals his brain that he needs to urinate he already did. Also the stretching of the intestines reduces the nerves functions & demishes the signals that he needs to pee. So we have him on stool softners and we are adding more fiber to the diet, and monitoring is bowel movements..so far so good and he says he feels much better and no accidents.

Flower - posted on 03/05/2013

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I just want to say that I am so thankful for this website, and this particular topic. My 9 year old boy has recently had two incidents of wetting himself at school. As a survivor of sexual abuse, I immediately ' go there', and panic. This string of convos has helped me come back to reality. My son too has struggled with irregularity his whole life. I will be making an appointment in the morning with the pediatrician. I hope it's an easy fix. Thanks ladies.

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Megan - posted on 07/03/2014

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yes. i have a teenager. he is 18. it started 7 or 8 weeks ago. he started wetting his pants everyday and pooping them. so i got tired of buying him new pants so i put him in diapers. he got emberrassed and he doesnt do it anymore but i kept him in diapers for the next few weeeks and he stopped. you should try it!

Valerie - posted on 03/23/2014

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My son is nearly 11, he was always weeing and pooing himself since the age of 4..... we thought it was lazyness until i took him to doctors and they diagnosed him with faecial impaction....he is on medication to help him.....its the peeing now we worried about.... its always when hes watching tv, or on computer or anything thats distracting him... I have tried EVERYTHING....... any ideas...thanks xxxx

David - posted on 10/30/2013

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There is one more aspect to this no one, including psychologists, seem to be completely unaware of. The desire and enjoyment of pants wetting and pooping can be included under the very broad umbrella of regressionary psychosis. This is an unfortunate term as it implies there is something wrong with the child when in reality the only thing wrong is our adult lack of acceptance and allowance for accommodation. The place to start understanding this is in a book titled, 'A Childish Nightmare,' by Anthony Marciano. His website, amarciano.com, is new and still under construction, but keep checking. The book is awesome and looks at this so-called problem in a completely new way. The punishment/reward treadmill is doomed for failure from the outset because it is based on false premises. Forget about eradication - it won't happen. Only when we change our thinking and decide to overcome our prejudices, can we begin to get this child down the path of acceptance, accommodation, and integration into the world at large. The first step is to focus on the child and not on our repulsion to his/her actions.

User - posted on 10/15/2013

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yea my son does that to when he plays games i found out that if you get him a watch and set a time for him to go when it gos off unless the other kid knows and you could have them set a timer ,, my son does it cause he has adhd and the single that tells him he has to go potty gets to the brain and hes so into the game he says oh just a little longer until his body cant hold it

Denise - posted on 10/13/2013

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I wet myself all the time because I was poisoned when I was a child...I'm 67 now. My bladder and uretha were permanently damaged from the poison, I can't be cathorized. I don't wear pants because it shows too easily if I wet myself....that is, if I'm not wearing protection. In this day and age with all the stress and troubles out there I'm surprised more children aren't wetting themselves, even adults! So why not stop worrying and just love your child, wet pants and all! By the way they do make pantiliners for boys and men too! Relax mommies, things will look better then!

Kristindale - posted on 08/28/2013

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Okay you are a very ignorant person who has obviously never dealt with this situation! My son does do it on purpose!!!!

Kristindale - posted on 08/28/2013

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My son is 10 going on 11 and he also does this. He has peed on the floor, outside, in his pants. It is beyond frustrating, not to mention embarrassing. I feel like I don't want to be in public with him because he smells like pee all the time. We have tried every punishment known to man. We spanked him and that had no effect either. We tried counseling but he just lies to the therapist, and they blame it on us! I am at my wits end and I am so thankful that I am not the only one out there. My son has oppositional defiant disorder, does your son have that as well?

[deleted account]

STacey, if you think he does it on purpose and humilating him further will help, I feel sorry for you.

Stacey - posted on 11/24/2012

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hi when he wets him self tell him if you do that again i am going to start putting you in nappies

Carol - posted on 06/22/2010

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our daughter is 10 and was doing the smae thing and we did the samethings as you but then we stop groundig her and taking things away a we found out that she was being picked on at school by a boy in her class so we had the teacher talk to the boy and thing got better we found the more we grounded and took things from her the more she would go to in her pants so please try to find out if some one at school is bulling him and try giving him extra clothes for school so he can change and go to the school one day with out telling him and see if there is a problem there.

[deleted account]

Stacy,
Yeah! I'm so glad you found the answer and that I was wrong!!!! Way to be persistant and support your son.

[deleted account]

I'm not sure that punishing him for this is a good idea. Clearly the child is extremely anxious and upset. No one past diaper age wants to wet themselves on purpose. No one. Something is wrong with your child. I urge you to go back to the doctor. Get him to a good child psychologist or a certified social worker. Please! There may be a major issue happening that you don't know about.

Theresa - posted on 06/16/2010

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When an older child suddenly starts wetting their pant it can be a sign the he has experieced some abuse. I would take him to a counselor of some sort so he can talk about whatever it is that may be bothering him.

[deleted account]

Hi Stacy,

I have had an expearence with this with some of my students and my own kids. It usually is an emotional not a physical issue. It can be something more simple like he is being bullied at school or it could be more serious like abuse from someone he sees during the day. Boys tend to hold things in emotionally and especially during the teen and preteen years. If this has been happening for two years and you didn't see it before then something is going on. I don't want to jump to conclusions or scare you, but I have seen many kids who were physically and/or sexually asulted that did similar things. I am not an expert, but my daughter was raped in school. So I have some experance with it. My son also used to pee the bed everytime his dad would come into town. The emotional difficulties of divorce were hard for him. It is something worth looking into. I would sugest talking to a councilor outside of the school (for privacy reasons).
Please let me know how it goes. Praying for you and your family!

Aimee

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