how can I help my 11 yr old daughter?

Holly - posted on 03/22/2012

give her more space and freedom. probably she will have a boyfriend sooner or later but kids at that age dont really "date" but they 'go out' like they just talk and hug each other and laugh. but also make ur daughter talk to u about what she is doing and trust each other.she may probably have her first kiss but dont freak out its not the end of the world! make sure it doesnt go any further than that!!

Jody - posted on 03/18/2012

It's your job as her mother to protect her!! At 11 years old she may think she knows everything but you know she's not even close to being ready to take on the world, or even boys for that matter. Make sure she's loved for being the child that she still is and do everything you can to help her keep that innocence as long as she can. Too many parents allow their children to grow up too fast these days because they feel guilty when pressured by things like the "everybody is doing this" or "everybody else is going there" or "everybody else has one" arguments from their kids. Set the boundaries, establish the rules and consequences, and stick to them because you love her and don't want her to become a statistic. Immature boys are not going to help her find out who she is. It's not easy but someday she just might thank you for being there trying to protect her when no one else was.

Deidre - posted on 03/08/2012

I don't know if I would go as far as to say she hates it when you protect her.... She may be questioning her boundaries, but I'm sure she doesn't hate the protection part. I am a firm believer that when a child says they hate YOU, that means the parent is on the right track! :) Keep with the boundaries and little by little when she proves her capabilities with good decision making you can feel free to loosen your grip. She is 11 years old. You know what's best for her. It is your JOB to protect her at all costs and guide her onto a productive path. My son is 12 and the girls and boys his age are allowed to go out in groups. I am very uncomfortable with that. We do things as a family and I am pretty strict. But I feel it is my job to make sure he is not acting up in public. Kids in a group are often discriminated against and trouble seems to follow everywhere. So I'm trying to give him a little bit of freedom, but he continues to follow the wrong crowd. Once, I agreed and allowed him to go to the movies with a group of kids. Girls and boys went. JUST THAT ALONE I WAS TOTALLY AGAINST IT! But I agreed anyway. The parent is the one who disappointed me. She picked them up after the movie was over and proceeded to treat them all to an ice cream cone and then continued two towns away to her home. Without my prior permission. It was 12:30am when my son arrived home.... Needless to say he will not be joining them again. I feel it was disrespectful to know how strict I am and still do what she did without my permission.



Relationships are complicated enough when you are an adult. Emotionally, mentally and physically difficult. Let a kid be a kid and prime them for adulthood, but never encourage them to grow up before their time. Some of us were forced to grow up really fast, but our kids shouldn't have to suffer those consequences.

Patricia - posted on 03/08/2012

I agree with Merry - and keep in mind that it'll take a long time for her to find out who she is. My daughter is 18 and is still figuring it out (as we all were when we were teenagers).

They're brain is still developing and won't be done developing until they are in their mid-twenties and they are dealing with new emotions and hormone changes and different pressures from friends and school.

Just keep the communication lines open, talk to her about sex, self-esteem, respect, drugs, etc openly and listen to her when she talks and ask specific questions. Welcome to the world of tweens/teens - it's a long bumpy road....

Merry - posted on 03/07/2012

Give her a little freedom and let her find out exactly who she is???