Jeru - posted on 12/05/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )
My son is almost 10. He is an amazing kid who has near perfect grades, good imagination, keeps pretty steady friends, all that good stuff. BUT when it comes to discipline and respect he behaves like that of a 3 or 4 year old. He flops around when we are correcting him like he just cant stand to hear our voices. (It's really kind of strange...) He blames everyone for mistakes that he's made. (EX: him getting grounded is bc of his father, not bc he was disrespectful...) He is emotionally unstable when he gets upset. He has said before when he was really mad like 2 or 3 times that he just wanted to die. (Is that normal? I mean is he just being dramatic?!) Our confrontations escalate and then when we are telling him what he is doing wrong,, we have gotten really honest and told him exactly what he's doing, and here is where my question comes in...
We have told him that his behavior when he's being corrected is like that of a toddler, that he is making us miserable by being so disrespectful. That he expects us to give him all this good and sweet attention, but we can't bc he is making our relationship with him strained due to his disrespect and bad attitude...and this stuff wasn't being calmly told to him, it was being yelled at him. This kind of stuff has happened before and I feel like afterward that I am verbally abusive to him :(( I grew up in a very emotionally unstable and hostile enviornment and am trying to avoid any emotional damage done to my own children. I just cannot tell if what I am saying to him is too much? Am I damaging him? If I am is it reversible? Have I gone too far? I DO understand that I should not be yelling at him..AT ALL. I mean I know we all do it, but I do recognize that if anything needs to to be said it needs to be said calmly. I also feel distant from him due to his behavior. Like I feel like I dislike him sometimes and I hate feeling that way about him,,,I adore him! But then after he's been so ugly to us, he'll come around and talk in this baby voice saying he's sorry and tring to hug and kiss and I that makes me irritated too...*sigh* I feel like I need insight, help, advice,,,,anything. Can anyone relate?