How do I know if my 12 yr. old has attention deficit?

Nicolette - posted on 10/21/2011

For the parents with kids with ADD and ADHD, how are they with making friends at school? My daughter have not been tested for ADD, but i do wonder if she has ADD, as she has a lot of the other trades as listed before. She is leaving primary school without making one lasting friend?

Becky - posted on 12/09/2009

Adding to my previous installment........with most kids at this age they get overwhelmed if to much is put out to them at once........ever hear of the saying when feeding your kids to start with small serving so they eat better and are more likley to clean their plate? Well I think it is that way with everyday things as well.....stop and look at us adults.......we gat overwhelmed when we have to much to do at one time and need to step back take a breat and tell ourselves ok....first do this and then I will do that.....why should we think kids are any different?

Becky - posted on 12/09/2009

I have battled this since my 17 yr old was three........everyone said she had it when she doesnt....now it with my son 12,....he doesnt have it either ........kids have alot going on in their heads and honestly....i am 37 and have troubles remembering where I put thing or what I was doing or going to do......my kids are hyper and too smart for their , and mine,own good........they get bored with things easily which is hard to keep up with but they are fine......so maybe all you need to do is make it more interesting to him some how?......each child differs so good luck!!

Tonia - posted on 11/07/2009

I have gone through this with 3 of my kids. Each one has been diagnosed but they are ALL very different. Previous poster was correct in that it has been shown to be genetic in the fact that if one parent or sibling has it, the more likely it is for siblings to have. (did that make sense?)

I can say is go with your gut. You know your child better than their doctor or any of us, if you feel something is going on, it very well may be. There is ADD and ADHD. I have found that one of my sons is VERY forgetful and has all of the "classic" ADHD symptoms, but can focus on what he likes (Pokemon). This is called hyperfocusing and is very common.

Some doctors will test, others will not. There are pediatric psychologists that can test for it based on your observations. It can be very tiring and challenging to get the right kind of help so you really have to be a strong advocate for your child!

Try this - try giving your child coffee or something with a lot of caffeine. (If there are no food allergy implications, of course). If they seem sleepy or more focused, then that could be a good indicator of ADD. ADD is a chemical imbalance in the brain and caffeine has the "opposite" effect on children with ADD. I give my son flavored coffee on test days instead of medicating him. That is all the ADD drugs are - stimulants or caffeine.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Michelle - posted on 11/06/2009

I have a 16yo son with adhd and a 15yo daughter with adhd, I can tell you that most of the time it is passed down through family somewhere along the lines. Unable to follow more than one task is normal for a tween but also is a characteristic of add/adhd. It is simply the inability to focus, and i can tell you that it is very difficult to focus without medication. Some people can do it, but it just makes life more tolerable, sociable, normal, enjoyable with the help that you get from medication. My children have been on the medication since they were 5 and 6 and they have both tried to go off of the medication and they both decided to go back on it because even at their age they were unable to focus enough to make it through their classes. I know we all hate to put our kids on meds but the truth is, add/adhd kids really need it just to function through life. Think back to when he was a little younger, did he hop quickly from one acitivity to the next, did he have a particularly favorite thing that he played with all the time. Add/adhd if you can imagine your mind going a million miles an hour and never slowing down or getting tired, and before you finish walking over to the other side of the room to pick up the paper you notice the window is dirty, so you go get the stuff to clean the window and you notice the mail on the counter and start going through it...etc never getting the chance to finish even the simplest task. Now imagine that 24/7. All the medicine does is slow the brain down a little bit so you can focus and finish task and concentrate on one thing at a time. It does take some time to get the right medication and dosage but is well worth it in the end. Good luck to you, it can be a rough road along the way.

Brieana - posted on 11/05/2009

Quoting Michelle:

my mother-in-law told me that I needed to get my daughter looked at for ADD or ADHD, but I never did. My daughter is active, loves to talk....there is not a moment that is silent in the house. Even when she sleeps she is moving and talking. But the reason why I dont get her tested is because i think it is that she is just a kid who loves people, and loves to play. Her grades are good, but it is a struggle to get her to read a book for 15 minutes. When she has chores to do we have to give her one at a time, because if we give her a list (without writing it down) than she gets overwhelmed, and fustrated. So we have to do it one at a time. So for me if your son is doing good in school, and can make friends easily, than I would wait before putting him on any medication. That is just my thought!

If she's that active in her sleep, that could be a red flag that something is going on. Although children are very active anyway. And I don't think we should lable every child for it  either. But if kids don't reach that deep realm of sleep long enough. It can make them space cases. However; just because a child gets diagnosed, doesn't mean they have to get on medication. It is nice to know if your child has adhd or not.  Vitamins, Omega 3's, melatonin for sleep, and therapy/counseling can work wonders for a child. Without sticking them on meds. Sounds like you're doing a great job with the one at a time chores and things. We just got to get creative sometimes. =)

Kiana - posted on 11/03/2009

i have a 12year with the same problem and what i did was i talked to all her teachers about it and they watched her alittle more closely and communicated back with me what they saw i also took away some of the tv time and computer time and limited her phone privllages and i got her a daily agenda and she had to write down all homework and class assignments.... its working alot better and now she is not forgetting what homework needs to be done and with the less time for tv computer and phone she is more alert with what is told to her and what needs to be done... it workered for me maybe you can try this and see if it works for you ... i also did reverse role with her if i told her to do things and she forgot then when she asked me if i could do something or get her something i just acted like i forgot as well like her she didnt like that at all and all of a sudden she started remembering what i asked or told her to do....

Michelle - posted on 11/03/2009

my mother-in-law told me that I needed to get my daughter looked at for ADD or ADHD, but I never did. My daughter is active, loves to talk....there is not a moment that is silent in the house. Even when she sleeps she is moving and talking. But the reason why I dont get her tested is because i think it is that she is just a kid who loves people, and loves to play. Her grades are good, but it is a struggle to get her to read a book for 15 minutes. When she has chores to do we have to give her one at a time, because if we give her a list (without writing it down) than she gets overwhelmed, and fustrated. So we have to do it one at a time. So for me if your son is doing good in school, and can make friends easily, than I would wait before putting him on any medication. That is just my thought!

Krista - posted on 11/01/2009

I talked to my doctor about my daughter who is alot younger.He said a good way to determine is how they are at school socially and academically and not how they behave at home. Also, they send them to see a psychologist to evalute them. Its not just about forgetting its about how they behave, do they act out, have a hard time sitting still. It sounds like a normal teen to me yell I forget things lol but talk to the school and his doctor they will guide you the best. There is nothing wrong with asking them for help.

Deanna - posted on 10/30/2009

Ask your teacher what she thinks. I would go back to his last year teacher as well as they have multiple teachers in Grade 7 and don't know them quite as well as in grade 6. Sometimes they can be a valuable resource for you. My son has the memory problems too. He has ADHD. But your son just may be having trouble getting organized with more responsibility being put on them in Grade 7. Try using an agenda he writes his homework in to help. You check it every day to know what is expected. The requests sounds normal. With my kids half the time they don't even get one thing done because they see that toy they want to play with. Try breaking it down. Today he cleans up his desk. Tomorrow he cleans up his clothes. The next day he changes his sheets. Just a suggestion. If you need to test him the school is your first choice but if they won't do it, go through your doctor and have him refer you to the Glenrose. They do a full day of testing and tell you what they can do for him at the end. They also give you a report to get help at school if needed. Good Luck.

Brieana - posted on 10/29/2009

Go with your gut feeling. We all thought my 10 year had adhd, or a horrible memory and turns out she's bipolar so a lot of things she does looks like adhd. Our psychologist gave my daughter some tests, gave me some tests, and also sent some to her teacher(s), and then put all the information together for the final result. If there is anything going on, the sooner you catch it the better, since it could continue to get worse. Good luck with your situation!

Kelly - posted on 10/29/2009

Hi, if you are going the testing routine, I recommend the school test him as well as getting him testing privately. The two don't often turn out the same. If you do decide you need help from the school, it is best to go in with the most information you can have.

Kelly - posted on 10/29/2009

He sounds just like my son, EXACTLY. The only sure way to know is to get formally tested. The testing will require teacher input, as well as a professional to evaluate your child. I can't ask my son to do one thing without watching over him to make sure he does it. The minute you turn your back, his mind is off somewhere else. When we all go for a walk, we are constantly turning behind to make sure he is with us. He loves to read, play on the computer, and play video games. He can be immersed for HOURS. My son forgets to turn in his work. One thing is important. Do you think he needs help in the school setting? At that point, it might be helpful to seek out professional help. Kids with AHDH can see a rise in their self-worth after being treated correctly, and gaining the ability to do things on their own. Being treated also helped my son socially as well. But there's lots of different ways to treat: medicine, behavioral therapy, star systems.

ROSA - posted on 10/10/2009

well you should be asking that question. There is ADHD without the hyperactivity. And it is very hard to dignose. watch test scores and grades carefully, ask teachers if assignments are caomplete. I had a daughter that I didn't catch hers until she was about 10 and it was really too late, she was already behind too far in the basics. She was a "good" student because she wasn't a problem, so no flags were ever raised.

Liz - posted on 10/07/2009

Kids with this usually can't look you in the eye when you are having a conversation, will often act out illogically, can not understand that their actions hurt themselves and others, don't understand danger. A combination of behaviour modification program and medical treatment is considered the way to go. The best thing to do is get an appointment with your school counsellor who will conduct tests where this will show up. Also find a website that deals specifically with this and get info.

Susan - posted on 10/07/2009

Thanks Sherry, maybe I'm just jumping the gun a little bit, he is going through alot of changes this year moving up to Junior High, maybe we will watch and see what happens.

Sherry - posted on 10/06/2009

Sounds like most children to me, but I guess the question to ask is. Can he sit still in class at school...does he follow the rules, and directions at school? and if he can do those things at school...then I would say no he doesn't have it...and I think if he can sit still long enough to read a book...he can concentrate on one thing...so, I think he is pretty normal...I saw a program on tv that talked about children his age having short term memory loss, and it is completely normal by what they said...I would not worry, as their brain develops more...they will hopefully remember more....lol