How do I tak to my daughter about hygiene?

Sherri - posted on 04/08/2012

@Dee The blood stained items is very gross. However, I don't shower every single day even on my period. I only brush my teeth once a day and I have never brushed my tongue ever in my life and I don't have bad breath. I also will admit I have period underwear and if I leak through I don't wash them out either. I just throw them in the laundry hamper and wash them. They do however, get changed and put directly into laundry.

Dee - posted on 04/03/2012

I have one that will probably stump you... I have been told that my 20 year old will grow out of her bad habits since she was preteen. So I left it alone for a while. She went away to college and returned a year later. I make her wash her own clothes ( and she has plenty, so repeat wears are not out of necessity). She wears the same bra until it is brown and discolored around edges from tan or skin. She messes up a pair of underwear EVERY day of her period. Does not even try to clean them, just throws them in her hamper. She says she wears a panty liner with a tampon, but obviously not because the leaking/ spotting is not around the edges but straight through her underwear and pants. It is not an issue of heavy periods, because even if that were the problem, she should still have good enough hygiene and forethought to clean up the situation. She lies even though I have evidence to the contrary staring her in the face.I bought her a spanx to wear to a formal at school and she came home for the summer with it in her drawer with dried blood in it ( she did not even wash it). I have showed her how to clean things with peroxide, rinse with water, ring it out and place in with the towels to not mildew all her clothes.

She does not take a bath but a minimum of every 36 hours even when on her period and going on a date! Yes, she is sexually active. That has made no change. Bloody stained underwear do not phase her.

She brushes her teeth once a day, no more. Even if she does, her breath still smells because it is quick and does not include her tongue. I have never seen her brush her retainer. I did peroxide it before she packed to go to college.

I have to make her wash her hands when she comes out of the toilet prior to eating at the table. Yet, if we are in a public bathroom with other people she gets distressed if there is no soap at the sink.

This is not new and I don't think she is depressed. She gets vey annoyed when I bring anything up. I feel it is ack of responsilibity and laziness. Because it is evident in other areas of her life too.

At what point do I accept it and completely give up? Is it a lost cause now that she is basically an Adult.? I will still make her wash her hands before eating at my table, but I worry about her in my refridge and cabinets too.

Advice?

Mother - posted on 03/28/2012

Maybe call her mom and she can talk to her. Not trying to exclude the Step mom but this is time of change for her. Does she have her menses? Maybe she has soiled them and is embarrassed or maybe hiding them? Maybe she is "trading them off" so her DAD won't see when HE does HER laundry. Tried to put the teen emphasis in there LOL



I do know that some pre-teens go thru stages of not wanting to shower, are too lazy to look for clean clothes etc etc.....it is usually followed up by 3 showers a day and needing clean clothes everytime they fart!!! LOL