How do you change a 12 year old from being lazy?

Joann - posted on 04/08/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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She whant's to do nothing unless it benifit's her.

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Theresa - posted on 04/09/2010

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Then make it benefit her. If you're not going to do anything, then you get nothing, no TV, no phone, no computer, no friends, no video games, etc. The only things she has a right to are food clothing shelter and education. None of those things have to be top of the line either. Food doesn't have to be her favs or from a restaurant, clothes don't have to be name brand, etc. If she wants nicer things and she wants fun things she needs to earn them by helping out. You can also try the laziness thing back to her.When she needs clothes wahed tell her you'll get to it eventually, but don't ever get around to it. When she wants supper tell her you don't feel like making at, then sit in front or the TV and be lazy like her. Sometimes that gets through to them. When she complains about you not doing whatever it is she wanted tell her now she knows how you feel. Then tell her you'll go back to doing things for her when she starts doing things for you.

Kryss - posted on 04/13/2010

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I have a 10 yr old, so this may not apply, but i keep my son from being.."lazy" I keep him invovled in church activitys and we go to the park, i find children his age to play with (usually at the parks) If your child has interest in something try that. As a parent i know sometimes i feel like i have to do the things that interest him even there is few things that we both dont like..but,i can tell you once o took my son off the tv and played games took walks ...played ball he got out of the rut. Now that you have a girl i would say take her out for a girls day out with you, spend time cooking with her..explain to her the consequences, if she continues then things have to be taken away but time with your child/preteen is important. Hope this has helped, one last thing my mom let me be a volnteer at the hospital, and she may think of that a lil later..hiope this helps again:)

Tracy - posted on 04/09/2010

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Theresa has some great ideas. I would just add that kids are usually lazy when nothing is required of them or when they feel entitled to all the privileges they have. Give her a list of chores that she will be responsible for and what days she is to do them. For example; making her bed every day, cleaning her room on Saturdays, doing the dishes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, etc. Make a chart with 3 columns. First column is the chore, second column is the day it is to be done, and 3rd column tells how it benefits her. Clean dishes mean she can eat on clean dishes. Making her bed every day means she will learn to be a tidy person. Cleaning her room means she will find all the things she misplaced through the week. : ) Give her an allowance for any extra chores she does besides the basic ones she must do on her chart. If she helps with dusting, mopping, or gardening, she can earn a certain amount of money per job or a set amount of money each week if, say, 3 extra jobs are done. You can get creative with this and make it fit your child better than I can!

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Lori - posted on 09/30/2010

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I agree with Theresa-they loose privledges if they dont do the work-everyone needs to make a house run and mom and dad cant do it on their own. If she doesnt want to help then she doesnt get to go out beyond school. My teens know that they get to do very little if they dont help out-they have expectations cleaning their rooms and one other chore to do each week. We only pay for responsibilities things like dishwasher, garbage, and other chores like laundry. If they need want extra money they have to do extra to earn it or ask us to take it off their next month allowance.

Julie - posted on 04/13/2010

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i have a 12 year old and she loves to go on the computer but if she dont help or listen than she lose the use of it for the day and sometime the phone as well

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I agree with Tracy. My house was getting out of hand. It seemed like I was the only person "trying" to keep things "clean". I created a chore chart for my son, my husband, and myself. We all have daily/weekly/monthly chores and we rotate the daily/weekly chores every 2 weeks and the monthly chores once a month. So far it seems to be working. I think it has helped my son to see that Mom and Dad have chores too and we all have to do the chores to help the whole family. My son was a little upset when he realized the the $20 allowance that came with the chores was not given on a daily basis. Guess he thinks $ grows on trees!!!

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