how do you throw a troublesome teenager out when she refuses to go?

Pam - posted on 03/14/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have an 18 year old daughter who is making my life a misery. I have asked her to leave on numerous occasions but she won't go. I have tried the police & our GP but no-one seems to be in a position to help me. Is there anyone else out there with similar problem?

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Jo - posted on 03/14/2009

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Does she work? Start charging her rent. Seriously. Not that I was in trouble persay but at 18 I didnt think that I needed to abide by any of the rules my parents had, and I did not get along with my mom in the least.

Her idea - She started to charge me rent. If I wasnt going to live by the rules then I was going to be treated like I was renting my room, not living under their roof as their child.

$100 a month, they bought regular groceries, but anything extra I had to pay for. No allowance, no using their cars, I had to pay for my own insurance and gas money the few times I did get to use the car.

It worked, after 6 months - I moved out.

Maggie - posted on 03/14/2009

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I would not toss a 18yr old daughter out. Where would she go? You might force her to live on the streets or to move in with a boy who would only take advantage of her. How would she pay her way? shelter? food? I have a daughter who made life miserable for us too, she would sneak out at night, took the car when she was only 14, came home drunk. No matter how tough it got, I didnt toss her out. We did stop buying her things, took her cell away, had her talk to our Bishop. We didnt just let her make the rules. She is 21 now, almost 22, in college with one year left. She is a sweet loving daughter. Your daughter will come out of this stage. Your job is to do your best and try and keep her safe. I just wouldnt throw a 18yr old girl out with no place to go.

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Tina - posted on 03/21/2009

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I wish I had an answer for you.  I told my daughter when she failed to follow the rules (major ones) after several times that she needed to find a place.  I don't know if the experience went better for us because we discussed it.  It wasn't a decision made when I was angry or we were fighting it was an I love you but you have to go. ( I have younger children and was concerned for their well being too)  Thankfully she did find a friend to stay with.  I don't know your situation or daughter but  maybe you can work it out that way.  If not maybe for your own piece of mind you will need to do some of the footwork in trying to find her a place to go.  Also if drugs/alcohol are a problem try and intervention &/or in patient program.  I'm not sure what I would have done if she didn't leave but I would have had to find some other option too.  GOOD LUCK!

Rose Ann - posted on 03/16/2009

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If our teenager becomes troublesome the more we should hold them close to us. Try our very best to see how they perceive things and feel their troubles. There are moments that I don't seem to understand what my teens are doing I start thinking back what was I doing or thinking when I was at their age. and I take it from there. Throwing kids out of our homes won't give them any help.

Maggie - posted on 03/14/2009

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I would not toss a 18yr old daughter out. Where would she go? You might force her to live on the streets or to move in with a boy who would only take advantage of her. How would she pay her way? shelter? food? I have a daughter who made life miserable for us too, she would sneak out at night, took the car when she was only 14, came home drunk. No matter how tough it got, I didnt toss her out. We did stop buying her things, took her cell away, had her talk to our Bishop. We didnt just let her make the rules. She is 21 now, almost 22, in college with one year left. She is a sweet loving daughter. Your daughter will come out of this stage. Your job is to do your best and try and keep her safe. I just wouldnt throw a 18yr old girl out with no place to go.

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