How to stop my 10 Y daughter from being a dork.

Stacy - posted on 03/31/2010

I think it is just a phase my 11 year old still doesn't match her clothes very well unless I pick them out for her or it is an outfit that was bought together. She enjoys going with me to get her nails done and she loves the fact that she can choose how she wants her hair cut. I have just gone with the remind her approach, did you brush your hair and teeth and this is where we are going today are you sure you want to wear that? Then she usually takes a second look in the mirror or tries to match what I am wearing. Keep your head, she isn't a teen yet, I think this is our easy phase.

Laura - posted on 03/30/2010

whta about taking her shopping to nice young beuty shops [not sure where you live - thinking LUSH] where she can pick things for her self that are age appropriate - this is what i did with my daughter when she was like thsi about the same age - also also did this when she asked if she could use make up as i picked a beauty counter which had a lady whiched looked clean and fresh.just remeber that you want to your child to be happy in herself and not feel that she has to confirm - i would rather have a leader that a follower any day xx

Tenniel - posted on 03/29/2010

Thats great to hear! I feel like I have stepped out the old ages sometimes! There are so many mothers that make the wrong choices when it comes to there daughters and they wont own up to it. You mum's are a breath of fresh air! Proper hygiene is so important for any one but especially for young girls. Now days there are so many products and different ways of encouraging our children, as long as our attitudes are right there are no limits to what we can do for our Kids! Two thumbs up to you mum's!

Glenda - posted on 03/28/2010

this sounds like my 15 year old son, same story, but Im suprised that girls do that too.
I would be really really careful with my words, she is developing her self esteem, and words can be hurtful, just be careful how you say things, and make a big deal when she looks nice, but dont worry too much she will discover things for herself, dont nag, it only makes it worse. except about the teeth, I get that one!!! dont put too much concern on what others think, thats might make her think you dont accept that she doesnt want to be cookie cutter, just like everyone else, I bet she is very creative, maybe great at art? sounds like a great kid!! good luck, glenda

Andrea - posted on 03/28/2010

I appreciate the helpul comments, but just wanted to say, I would never call my daughter a dork. I was just trying to come up with the correct word to describe my concern here. I am not out to turn her into media-driven stereo type. I personally don't believe in beauty pageants and I think that schools need to get rid of homecomming queens because I believe it sends the wrong message to our fragile teens about having to be popular and such. I just feel as mothers that it is our job to teach our girls how to fit into society normally and not to be the center jokes and ridicule by kids that are cruel these days. I expect her to be clean and neat. Nothing wrong with that. I don't feel that this part of parenting should be neglected. I didn't have a good role model growing up and I somehow learned on my own by the time I hit college. My sister never learned, so I see what the lack of guidence can lead to. I just wanted some advice on how to shape her since I was never shown.

Nicola - posted on 03/26/2010

No offence, but I can't see why you would want to... OK, getting her to comb her hair and brush her teeth is one thing, but maybe she's just decided that she doesn't want to conform to the media-driven stereotypes of what young girls ought to look like. She could just be trying to express personality and individuality - but hey, she's only 10, give her a break. When I was 10 I was in dungarees and baggy T-shirts, tearing round the village on my bike. Not so easy to do if Mum wants you to be a fashion plate?
Beyond enforcing personal hygiene, let her be herself!

Tenniel - posted on 03/25/2010

I think it is just a phase. My sister was similar when we were children. But now she is alway KNOCK OUT! Encourage her with out force. Lay down the law and SHOW her what is expected of her as a young lady. And dont use negative language. Refering to her as a dork is not a good idea. Not to say you call her that, but DORK is the term used for a whales penis. If she is nerdy and untidy, help her tidy up but let her be nerd! Nerds turn out to be the cool people whe they become adults!

Andrea - posted on 03/13/2010

Thank you, this was very helpful. I remember being a tomboy myself and yes, my daughter is kinda stuck in the tomboy thing. I like your ideas. I just had a long talk with my husband about all this. (her stepfather). He also reminded me that I must take action now and not just hope it goes away on its own. Thanks again.

Tracy - posted on 03/13/2010

Sounds a little like my daughter and my boss' daughter, who are both 10. We both have "tomboys" who want to wear athletic t-shirts and shorts or jeans every day. My daughter only wants to wear her hair down straight, and my boss' daughter only wants her hair in a pony tail. What I have done to help is to start taking my daughter with me for pedicures/manicures. I buy a her a teen magazine every now and then so she can see what teens are wearing. We shop together, and luckily we have found a store that has clothes that are a nice mix between graphic t-shirts and jeans to casual dresses and skirts. (Delia's.) My daughter only wears dresses to church, and then not often. She prefers pants. So I ask her to pair the pants with a dressier shirt and vest, or a sweater that can be belted. I think when their bodies start changing more and the female hormones kick in well, they'll all want to dress a little nicer. : ) Right now they are sort of "in between" kids sizes and teen sizes, so there aren't alot of choices that fit well. Also, I have talked to my daughter about good hygiene, and that as we get older, we have to take good care of our bodies so we don't smell bad or get sick. She is all about being clean, but she's still in that tomboy phase for now.