I need to have moms of 11 yr old girls help me with this problem I am having.

Kendra - posted on 12/18/2009 ( 243 moms have responded )

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My daughter is into putting make up on and lying about it when she comes home. This is the 3rd time this has happened. I have tried spankying her...really good. and Now we're on to have her do Bible Reports. right now she is reading Proverbs and is having to do a book report on it....I need some suggestions! I would really prefer feedback from people who have girls...that are either at this age or over it...

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A lot of people say "Choose your battles". But why should I as the parent have to "battle" with my child. I am just that, the parent. And my children know that when I say something that is it. There is no battle. We as parents are to raise our children the way we believe the Lord would have us to raise them. I cannot remember any "battles" that I had with any of my children over any issue. They knew I was doing what I felt was best just as they are/will do with their children. We already have 21 grandchildren and I must say our children are doing a fantastic job. They are not doing exactly the way I would but I know they are doing what they think is best and I will back them.

Nancy - posted on 12/18/2009

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look i have raised 3 girls, the more u try to stop them the more they will do what u dont want, if she wants to wear make-up tell her only eye shadow light colors, no liner and maybe a little lip color, lite in color, take my word for it, try to stop is not going to work and reading the good book is not going to stop it either.things will get worse, if u dont give in just a little, and please dont spank an 11 year old,she is to old to be spank, u should groud her only and dont yell at her. sit down and talk to her, because yelling gets u no where ever. trust i'm also a grandmother of a 15year old girl, and my daughter does this and listen to her daughter, she is the 1 that has to go to school and b teased not you, so just step back and listen, dont embarrase her by spanking, that is very demeaning to her, and in the end she may hate u for it and i know u dont want that, ok merry christmas, and u need to tell your daughter that u love her and u r proud of her. and tell her u will not spnk her antymore that u will talk to her about what is going on in her life, that u dont know what is going on. bye nancy weiss p.s. remember she is a preteen, in between a little lady and a young lady, give her repect and she will give u repect, and remember this will not be the only fight u have. u will butt heads more then once, she a girl, with hormonse racing through her body.

Shannon - posted on 12/18/2009

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My oldest is 11. Have you tried giving her some make up that she is allowed to wear? Maybe just mascara and some lip gloss, or a very light pink lipstick? Then she gets to spread her wings a little and feel a little grown up and you can feel comfortable that she isn't walking out the door looking like she should be walking the streets. Then, too, you can take those make up items away from her if she abuses the privledge and sneaks on more make up than she is allowed. :)

Annie - posted on 10/22/2012

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I have a 13 year old that has been wearing makeup for a couple years. Not a lot of makeup, I decide which colors are appropriate. I am lucky that neutral colors look very good on her. Pick your battles Mom. This is something that every mom of every girl goes through. You will have plenty of things you will say no to, if you give in on this, she will at least know that you are not hard nosed, and willing to compromise. On a side note, my daughter hardly wears it now.. It, like most things at that age, was a faze, and now she is over it!

Talisha - posted on 09/26/2012

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My daughter is 12 (13 in november). She started wearing makeup last year, BUT only because I decided that I would sit down and show her how to do it properly and "natural" looking. She was happy with this because she was still able to wear makeup like the other girls. I feel that as long as she is not "crazy" with it and it is nice and light and natural she should be fine. I am all about control and respect, but I also had to learn that no matter what "they still will find a way to do it" so we don't have to "change" our guidelines just sometimes we might need to modify them a little to fit our needs. As long as she thinks your working with her she will listen to you. :) good luck :)

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Portia - posted on 07/04/2014

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Oh let her wear makeup! Whats the big deal!? All makeup is, is Face Paint! Babies wear face paint! Dont keep spanking her just for wearing face paint! Let her feel confident! OK?! Just listen to me! Anyways spanking your 11 year old, is not the mature thing to do anyway! Talk it put with her!

DONNA - posted on 10/22/2012

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I have had 3 daughters and if u do not show them how to wear a light make-up...they will look like lady gaga...I would have mine do her make up at the house than go to school and put all that junk on in the bathroom...(you know they do)...she will keep lying to you...don't put her in that spot..I lied to my mom when I was that age...heck I took my mom's very red lipstick to school and wore,,it I know I looked like a clown...if u punish, spank(and she' tooo old to spank)..it will only get worse...she will love you forever if you give her a couple of very light make-up..and she will eventually outgrow wanting to wear it...@ that age...but either show her or get a make-up expert to show her how to lightly apply make-up..and cleanse her face. Please

Jessica - posted on 10/16/2012

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I also have an 11 year old girl and a 20 year old girl..never had the make up issue with my oldest but I am with the youngest. My 11 year old was caught several times wearing make up after she was told no. I think for 11 wearing make up is a no no..lip gloss yes any other make up no. At 11 they are way to immature to be wearing mascara, eyeshadow etc.. I am also having the same issue with her coming home from school with it on or shall i say she had tried to wash it off and didnt do a good job. She was grounded for 2 weeks and her skating taken from her because she was caught at the skating rink with make up on as well after we discussed it and she was told no. I dont seem to understand where and why these parents of 11 year old girls would even allow there daughter to wear any type of eye make up what so ever. My daughter is having fits cause as she says "all her friends" wear it..well NOT MY DAUGHTER. Im standing firm on my decision. when she starts high school different story but not at age 11. That is the problem now in this day and age these little girls want to grow up way too fast and from my perspective the parents allowing them to wear make up at this age are allowing them to act older which in turn causes more issues down the road if not before. So call me what you will, mean mother, out of date, unreasonable..thats the way I run my household..I would like my daughter to have the beautiful skin she has now for a long time to come.

Shelly - posted on 10/15/2012

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This is a hard age for moms and our girls. My daughter is also 11 and wanted to wear makeup to school this year. I have always had the rule of no makeup until 7th grade and she is in 6th grade. What we did do was make a compromise of me allowing her to wear tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss. I made her pay for these items and made her buy good quality make up. She wore it daily at the beginning of the year and looked as if she was wearing eye shadow too. She realized that she doesn't need it all the time and only wears it once in a while now. The more you try to prevent it the more she is going to try to sneak behind your back and do it.



I suggest sitting down with her and being reasonable make some compromises that both of you can live with and rebuild that trust. Also ask her why she feels the need to wear eye liner and eye shadow and why she lies about it.



Good luck.

Tashia - posted on 10/09/2012

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My daughter is eleven and threw a fit to get to wear makeup. We came to compromise on what she was allowed to wear. She was allowed to wear very light colored eye shadow, lip gloss, and very light shades of lip stick, and light colored nail polish. When I allowed her to start wearing that little bit she pretty much lost interest in wearing any makeup at all.

Patty - posted on 10/07/2012

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Spanking and making her write Bible verses will not solve the problem, it will make her resent it and she will become more sneaky and try to get away with it more. Instead show her examples of appropriate and inappropriate makeup use. Show her those horrible "toddlers and tiara's" as examples of how trashy makeup looks on young girls. Then, take her to a makeup counter at a store and have them show her how to put makeup on so that it is natural looking and age appropriate. If she wants to wear it, then wearing it subtly and nicely is far better than her resenting not being alllowed to and will just make her feel like you are being unfair, or too strict.



Talk with her, and let her have someone show her how to wear it properly. This will help her to see that you are willing to work with her. Wouldn't you rather have her realize that you are willing to compromise, and that she won't feelt he need to lie about it. Will help to build a stronger relationship which will help when more important issues come up!



I have 13 year old twins, but neither is into makeup, although one does like nail polish.



Hope that helps!

Gina-marie - posted on 10/07/2012

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By being so extreme you are pushing her faster into rebellion. Ease up mom..there is so much she could be doing..but makeup isn't on that list of deadly sins. If you support her..show her how a little can be more flattering..and act like its not a big deal, then it won't be.

Yana - posted on 10/06/2012

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Hi kendra





so i understand your problem and i am 11 year old girl and i am going through this right now

i think you should sit dawn and talk to her and tell her she can only wear lip gloss or by a girlskit where they hve make up that light make up and tha dont effect her skin my mom relly doesnt care but i dont wear make up but to school i wear liqiud eyeliner and some eyeshadow maskara and thats it i hope this helped XD

Sherri - posted on 09/18/2012

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Why is an 11yr old ever without adult supervision in the first place?? If she can't go out and be where she is supposed too or be home at the proper time then it is easy she doesn't go out.



As far as the make up goes. Teach her how to put it on lightly and I don't see the big deal. Some light eye shadow, some blush and lip gloss. No biggie.

Bobell2 - posted on 09/17/2012

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She obviously doesn't want to lie to you, she wants to wear makeup...this shouldn't be a battle or a war...teach her the correct way to wear it. If you continue to punish her she will feel the need to go behind your back on more serious issues, and you don't want that. and you are spanking and punishing w/the bible?? not good...she will resent ALL....which will lead to terrible behavior...I've seen it.

Rozy - posted on 08/18/2012

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Hi Moms
What i feel is we all has gone 11 years and we also liked makeups and those stuffs. actually kids see it when the mothers are doing it either on mother or friends mother or by movies so cant avoid it. I also have a daughter of 11 years and i allow her to use make up certain times and tat also baby one simple one so we are very friendly in that i use my stuffs and she use her ones hygienically this is ok
Thank you

Brandi - posted on 08/04/2012

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My daughter is almost 13 now and going into 7th grade. I told her when she started junior high she was able to wear some make up...light colors and the thrill didn't last too long. She got tired of putting it on and washing it off. Most of her friends to have the freedom to wear it and most of them choose not to. I think a whooping was too much. I remember being at that age and wanting to wear it as well, my mom said no and I Snook it too. I say give her a little freedom so she doesn't become rebellious.

Lizzy - posted on 08/03/2012

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I started doing girly-things like that when I was in America and my father was in Europe visisting, so while he was away I put on make-up, and my mom was okay with it- as long as I wasn't over-doing it. I was her age when I was doing that also, just tell her not to go over-board, mascara and lip-gloss sound good enough to me.

Chaya - posted on 07/27/2012

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I guess my parenting style is just different than most, my daughter is generally allowed to do what she wishes as long as she stays in contact with me. Her freedom depends on her grades, her grades are stellar. Makeup? fine, talk to friend who is makeup artist to learn to do it right. Hanging out with friends today, come home before dark, or call if you can't. I know her friends, and most of their parents, in fact, most are from churches we have or currently attend. She hasn't given me any reason not to trust her

Geimy - posted on 07/27/2012

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I am a mother of 4 daughters: 18, 14, 13 and 8. And also being once a young girl of 11 and remembering that I too once went through this phase myself. My mother did not want me to wear makeup either. I had my share of spankings and groundings because of that and no matter what I still went to school and put it on despite the consequences. My mother never explained to my why she didn't want me too just that I couldn't. But it was hard not to because all my friends were wearing it so why couldn't I.
Now I am the one who is in my mothers shoes and it's my turn to set the rules right. Well with so many things out there that you do not want your daughters to do putting makeup was at the bottom of my list of things not to do. You will have so many issues that you and your daughter will not see eye to eye and to me wearing makeup is one of those things that you can actually talk to your daughter without feeling a bit embarrased or scarred to even talk about.
I had decided to do something my mother never really did with me and that is talk to them. Tell them why wearing makeup is something they needed to wait to do till they were just a little bit older. I started out small. I went out and bought the age appropriate makeup to start wearing like lipgloss and sparkly eyeshadow and then progressing each year. This is one of the very few things that a mother will have in common with her daughters and I took advantage and became real close to my girls. I get to give them advise and tips and it has really helped in letting them understand that they can always come to me about anything.

Kim - posted on 07/25/2012

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My daughter just turned 13 and is now allowed to wear light colored eye shadow, she has been allowed to wear light colored lip gloss since she turned 11. As she matures (not by age but actions) we will add mascara. But together we watch a lot of makeover shows and she sees that minimal makeup is the new fad. As far as blush or foundation makeup is completely out until she can take care of cleaning her skin correctly as she already has an acne problem. You never have to be her friend always the mom but I want an open relationship with her so she trusts me and comes to me and asks me all the other important issues like sex. If you continue that type of harsh punishment ( I completely believe in spanking too) but for makeup- not so much. What are you going to do if she gets pregnant - tie her to her bed? I'm also afraid of making her write all the book reports on the bible- I'm afraid shes going to push the church aside just to make you mad. I'm catholic and completely believe in church and the bible, I just think you might want to pick your battles closely. Being a parent doesn't come with a Manuel, that's what this page is for. Oh, for the record I also have a 28 year old son with 4 grand kids ages 10, 9, 4 and 1 with 3 different moms and the first 2 are 8 months apart. That was the easiest part my son put me thru. Good luck, oh, if your daughter isn't in middle school yet then tell her lip gloss til she gets to middle school. I hope this is helpful.

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well im not sure what to say about it as my step daughter has always been a tomboy and is 18 now but my best friends daughter is 12 and were make up all the time and my friend asked me a similar question so i spoke to her daughter and she said it was about getting the boys to notice her because all her friends have boyfriends and she doesn't she also wanted her belly pierced because it is a "new trend"

Shermona - posted on 07/24/2012

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I have voiced my opinion on this topic before and I have decided to do so again. This is mostly based on the "what's the big deal" & "I don't believe in spanking" attitudes. The question was in regards to a little girl who is believed by her mother to be to young for make up. It doesn't really matter if you don't believe in spanking or corporal punishment. My now 14 year old is still only allowed to wear eye shadow and lip gloss. And if I find other stuff I throw it away. I make her write research papers when she breaks my rules and I swat her behind. She is still a good kid. I do not want to be my daughter's friend. I am her mother and my rules are non-negotiable. Since when do parents let children dictate house rules?

Shermona - posted on 07/24/2012

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I have voiced my opinion on this topic before and I have decided to do so again. This is mostly based on the "what's the big deal" & "I don't believe in spanking" attitudes. The question was in regards to a little girl who is believed by her mother to be to young for make up. It doesn't really matter if you don't believe in spanking or corporal punishment. My now 14 year old is still only allowed to wear eye shadow and lip gloss. And if I find other stuff I throw it away. I make her write research papers when she breaks my rules and I swat her behind. She is still a good kid. I do not want to be my daughter's friend. I am her mother and my rules are non-negotiable. Since when do parents let children dictate house rules?

Cari - posted on 07/24/2012

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Wow- harsh! I agree with giving her some light makeup she IS allowed to wear. Keep the shades light and set rules: eyeshadow only, no mascara or lipstick (or whatever).
But to spank and severely punish forwearing makup? Seems a bit severe to me........ My oldest daughter is 12 1/2 and is allowed to wear light eyeshadow and mascara. No lipstick or dark eyeshadow. Also, I get to "inspect" before she leaves the house. Yes, she hates that, but I don't need a hoochey! I should mention that my 12 year old is 5'4" and very mature looking (makes me so sad)! This level of makeup looks respectful and age appropriate to me.........
If you continue freaking out about her just trying to be like her friends (and experiment with makeup) she will just continue to do it and be more careful about washing her face before coming home. Me, I would rather support her and help her use makeup appropriately under my supervision........... it's up to you!!!!

Chaya - posted on 07/24/2012

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How does wearing makeup become a sin?
You can try corpral punishment, but if it hasn't worked yet, it isn't going to.
I'm a Christian myself, but the way you're going about it is going to cause her to bolt in the wrong direction.
I kind of get your kids logic, not saying I agree with it. I was born agian when I was 18, My dad's wife was quite threatened by it, my dad was happy that I found a church I was happy with. My His wife on the other hand, got very abusive to me about it. She didn't tell me until 20 years later, that she was angry because I chose not to be Catholicl. She had bastardized the Catholic church so much that I wouldn't return to it if my life depended on it.
Shoving Bible studies down her throat isn't going to turn her around, it'll turn her away. I'm not saying don't require her to attend church, but bok reports on the Bible are going to get her quite angry at you The way you're doing it, I can pretty much assure you she'll do something really wrong just to get away from your "Discipline." Don't be too suprised if social services gets involved.

Jamie - posted on 07/22/2012

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I have 3 daughters 15, 13, and 9....i was raised Apolstolic so as you can imagine make up was a BIG NO NO.....But as a mother now i understand that allowing your daughter to spread her wings in moderation (and your guidence) will help her in bigger decisions later. Now it's lip gloss, and eye liner later it will be so much more. Remember that if she feels that you are shutting doors of communication now she may not talk to you later about the bigger issues for fear of the consiquence. With my daughters i let them start with not only sheer neutral colors but taught them how to wear it in moderation. (At most my 15 year old wears mascara and lip gloss) I talked to the two oldest (as my 9 year old wants no part of it yet) and they know that they are individuals that need not follow the herd. Long story short we talked, we compromised and now no need to hide and lie. Now we are all happy. I do however feel spanking and using bible verses as punishment is a bit much tho. Not to step on toes but i know from experience using the Bible for punishment is not the way to go.

Nelly - posted on 07/22/2012

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The first question is where is she getting the make up from? Kids can not wear things they don't have

Roxanna - posted on 07/21/2012

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Punish the lying, to begin with. Then discuss what is acceptable to you. Lip gloss, mascara? My now 17 year old rarely wears make up and at 13 I allowed her to wear eyeliner and lip gloss to help her with er self esteem. My now 9 year old is constantly begging me to let her wear make up, but that is not negoitable. clear lip gloss is all she is allowed to wear.
Good luck!

Valerie - posted on 07/17/2012

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I allow my eleven year old daughter to own makeup, only for special occasions. I've bought her Maybelline Baby Lips which are lip balms that color your lips. The lip balms actually works and made her lips smooth. She only applies makeup when she's going to a party and even then it's still the Baby Lips and I'll apply light eyeliner on her. My daughter fiddles with my makeup and I respect her for experimenting as long as she doesn't end up looking like Miley Cyrus. Shudder.

Terralyn - posted on 06/21/2011

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I bought my girls their own makeup at 11, it was very light colors very litlle girl and yet they felt they were being grownup wearing it. I let them wear it at home and lip gloss outside the house and that worked well for us. Not every kid is the same though. I will caution you on one thing, it sounds like you are christian by the fact that you said you "make her" read the bible and are presently making her do a book report. if you make your faith a punishment for her "wrongdoings" you will find that when she gets older she will turn against your beliefs. My sister did that with her kids and her daughter will not have anything to do with religion, she is the complete opposite of what her parent hoped she would be so please be careful in using your religion as punishment if you want her to follow what you believe when she is older.

Klara - posted on 06/21/2011

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I actually have an 11yo daughter myself, and we've had many discussions and/or arguments about make-up. My husband set a rule that she has to be 12, and she continues to push and try to be sneaky. We generally remove privileges like tv, computer, outings with friends, take away allowance $, whatever hurts the most at the time. Our rule is she can wear it at home until she's 12, but not in public. When she doesn't follow the rules, there are consequences. However, we are much more strict about lying, and that would bother me much more than the makeup. I would be careful using the bible as a consequence, because at least in our religion, we want our children to be thankful for God and what he's given us, and feel they can go to him with prayer of thanks or problems. If the bible is a consequence, a child may see anything related to the bible as negative and turn away from God. Just a thought. Good luck!

Lori - posted on 03/26/2010

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Two words~Mary Kay. The Mary Kay will not only teach her appropriate make up techniques and amounts but will also begin basic skin care in how to avoid acne. I did this with my own eleven year old daughter and I will never regret it. Better to have her learn how to wear it appropriately than to wind up getting the wrong impression of make up. Don't be scared. She is absolutely at the age where she's going to be more curious about these things. She's growing up. Also, it encourages her to spend some one on one time with you. I wouldn't allow her to wear it to school or on a daily basis but Easter is coming up and I do think she's old enough to wear it on special occasions. Set bounderies but be supportive. :) Lots of Luck to you.

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Finally a post with someone actually needing advice verses asking crazy stuff!! I can tell you I'm a mom of three. Ages, 21,19, and 13. I do have girl's. I can tell you by what you have said in how you're punishing her, this is why she's lying. First, Spanking should not be happening.Parent's truly don't understand the emotional impact this does to kid's. Second, Writing bible verses is also a bit extreme. We are talking about makeup, not a crime. Your home should be a safe haven. Discipline is teaching not alway's punishing. I allowed My daughter at that age to wear makeup at home for fun and allowed light lip gloss in public. I communicated that with age other is appropiate. I never made it a big deal therefore it never became one. So my advice would be, Lay off a bit. Stop making it a big deal and it won't be one. Communicate to her in an educational way, when, where and what age is appropiate. Don't forget, girl's do like to wear make up so start slowly such as lip gloss, etc and she'll respect that and won't sneak behind your back. Alway's remember, If our kid's our lying/sneaking to us then it's us as parent's that set them up for it.

Tonya - posted on 03/25/2010

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I have an 11 yr old i don't let her put make up on but she wears lip gloss and she doesn't wear fingernail polish i feel as if you let your child wear makeup they appear to grow up to fast and i want her to stay as a child as long as she can. But you are doing righ by making her do other things that will teach her a lesson and not to do it again.Training starts in the home so you are dealing with it the best way you know how but check her backpack before she go to school if you feel like she is putting it on at school.

Leah - posted on 03/25/2010

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My daughter has just turned 10 and is a self described "Sporty Girl" with little interest in frilly girl stuff. But I have been thinking about this because my son's 12 year old female classmates are wearing makeup.

When she shows an interest in makeup I plan to go with the lipgloss and then mascara route. But now that I've read this post I'm going to make sure and discuss the negative health effects of sharing someone elses makeup. Yuck. When I think about how many times I used someone elses BonnyBell in Jr High! Most of our kids understand about germs and I want to make sure she uses her own makeup and not someone elses virus laden lip gloss. Ick.

Renee - posted on 03/24/2010

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Debbie is Absolutly correct...Myrle Normens does make up for children free then you can buy them a lip stick or something small while you are there....My aunt took me when I was younger and my mom got books for me to read about how to properly apply makeup then we would sit for hours and play with the make up and I learned how to do it right from those two things..

Debbie - posted on 03/24/2010

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When my girls started middle school at 11, I took them to have professional make up done at the mall. I talked with the artist about having them look like girls and she showed them how to put on just a small amount to look natural. She explained that too much didn't bring out they're beauty. Sometimes it helps to have another adult backing you up--kids tend to listen more than to their mom. I then purchased a small amount of make-up and it made them feel very mature, but they still looked like kids.

Renee - posted on 03/23/2010

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Ok I have an 11 year old daughter too. they are in a stage to try new things out , whooping her but for lying I understand but the make up thing is perfectly normal I agree with others give her some that she can wear then she won't feel the need to lie in the first place, you have to let her grow up and fit in a little. Not to say that you should let her do what she wants but make up school dances going to the movies is all normal for this age...just put your foot down on who she hangs out with.

Marie - posted on 03/23/2010

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my daughter is 12 and she wear make up at the begining she would lye about it but we had a girly talk about it and i asked her y ruin such a prtty face with all that rubbish on and y do u think u need to wear it all the time .she says it makes her feel better and look good like all the other girls . but in her school the teachers will give wipes to take all the make up off as they dont allow them to wear loads of it . so between the two of us she only wears a little bit now and under stands y us moms go mad at them .now we get on better than before .

Arrow - posted on 03/22/2010

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You can handle this in a variety of ways. For me I tried the passive route first. I asked her to ask first, and explained to her that I was almost 15 before I messed with make up. I told her that make-up, in my opinion, was really just a way for big companies to make money off women who had low self esteem, trying to hit a personal chord with her as SHE has great self esteem. It worked for a few weeks, but then I started finding makeup things in her pocket when I did laundry. Now she only has a couple female friends, both from school. I contacted their parents to compare notes, and it turned out it was all stemming form one of the others girls ' older sisters, a high schooler. So that parent talked to her, and the access to cheap make up and applicators stopped.



Now, a few weeks ago, it had started again, only now I found out that she was selling books at the school, her own books (she reads several popular young adults series) to her pals, then buying cheap make up at the dollar store nearby. I was grossed out that she had started to exude, addict like behaviors jsut for a bit of eye liner4 and lip gloss. So, I took the not so passive route, went through her entire room, including all the nooks and crannies she thinks I do not know about. Took every bit of make-up or related items, included a few fashion Zines that I do not approve of, and threw it all out. Then I explained to her at 11 it is not appropriate for a child to wear makeup. Girls are doing the wrong stuff far too soon these days and it terrified me that we are becoming ignorant as well as parents. She now has to show me she has no books to sell in her pack before school, and if i find uncleared stuff in her pockets, her room will get searched. So far, not even a tube of chap-stick has crossed our doorway. The other day, she tells me that she really was just checking it out, and after seeing how unset it made me that she was trying to be older faster, she realized it was stupid.

Tina - posted on 03/20/2010

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well my daugher wears, make up, i have no problem with it as she only wears minimal, and is very careful about it, she knows that too much is not right, and makes u look bad, sorry i dont condone spanking of any form, and ibelieve spanking a child for wearing makeup or even lying about it makes you not right either. I BELIEVE in MY opinion that if the child wears it responsibly not put on with a paint brush what harm does it do

Jenny - posted on 03/20/2010

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hello ,i also have an 11 year old daughter who i do allow to wear make up with in reason , i showed her how to do it explained to her that minimal was better as she is a beutiful girl .the reason i come to this decision wa s when i was younger my parents would'nt allow me wear make up all my friends did i felt different also i felt it gave me more confidence to do so i would put make up on behide my parents back as i wanted to fit in with other girls maybe you cold compromise with her i find that since i have with my daughter she never realy wears it as before she would put it on quite alot now it only seems to be if she is going to a party all the best in what ever you decide

Terralyn - posted on 03/18/2010

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She is at the right age to experiment with makeup and if you don't let her do it at home she will do it when she goes to a friends house. I don't want to sound judgemental but I think making her read the bible and spanking her is a little extreme and could backfire and turn her against your beliefs. If you use your religion as punishment it makes the kids want to rebel against it. I personally bought some little girl makeup for my 2 girls, very light colors and lip gloss, they felt grown up but didn't go around with "gobs" of it on. It allowed them to explore the grown up world of makeup and still look like a little girl. Remember that 11 is an awkward age in between child and young woman and they are trying to spread their wings a little. I think if you let them try under your supervision you can be certain that they are doing what you approve of instead of sneaking behind your back and looking inappropiate. I let my daughters try appropiately at home, I have friends who didn't and as soon as their daughters were old enough to go buy their own makeup they did and hid it in their lockers at school and believe me their mothers would NOT approve of how they looked within 5 mnutes of arriving at school in the morning. my girls are now 15 and 17 and one doesn't wear makeup at all the other wears just mascara. They found out there was no mystery to it and it wasn't that big a deal so they got over their fascination with it quite quickly.

Amanda - posted on 03/18/2010

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First off you spank your 11 year old?!?!??! Dont get me wrong I am not one of those mothers who doesnt not believe in spanking, I think its a useful tool, but how disrespectful of you to degrade your preteen like that!! Its no wonder shes sneeking behide your back doing things you dont like. Why should your 11 year old respect you, if you cant respect her?? How about you show your child the same respect you expect her to show you! I dont know what shocks me more that you spank your grown child, or that no one else sees a problem with this.

Tabitha - posted on 03/17/2010

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Have you maybe sat down and talking with her. I agree with some of the moms here; a spanking is overboard for disobaying makeup at 11. I am much older then that....I don't wear makeup myself. My kids don't see me using it. They are 11, 8, and 6. The extent of what they do is nailpolish and chapstick. I let my girls know that they are naturally beautiful just the way god made them. She's in the early stages of pre-teen we really need to start picking our battles with our growing up young ladies. They are going to be hit with more and more peer presure. If we keep our communication lines open with our girls then hopefully they will know that we are there to talk to, ask questions. if we are truely concerened as we say we are we need to let our daughters (sons) know that we will listen to what they say, and have times to let them know if you come and talk with me and explain what is going on, I will listen and not interupt you and there wont be any reprocussions just a frank talk. Remind them you were once their age and going through the same issues that they are going through. I actually got my daughter to open up to me about some issues she was having at school...she got her first period the weekend she turned 11. She was a straight A honor student very proud of her grades and then all of a sudden (within a matter of 2 weeks) her grades went down and her whole attitude changed, she was prefectly happy with a C. That is the first time since starting school (she's in 5th) that she has anything but an A. She would throw a fit if she got a B. Our girls are at a critical stage now at 11 they are getting more peer presure to be part of the "cool crowd." We need to show them that we are there for them to listen.

Stacy - posted on 03/16/2010

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This is funny!!! My daughter is 11. One day I picked her up from school and she had black eyeliner, blush and eyeshadow. I said you have makeup on.... What!!! She tried wiping it off. LOL We all know how black eyeliner is.... Of course she is gonna lie about it.. All us girls did if we were not aloud to wear it. As soon as we got to school we would hit the bathroom... How I solved it was in two different ways.. First I told her about a girl I went to school with that caked makeup on so bad she could scrape it off with a putty knife. Kids used to make fun of her. It was not her fault she was a child I told my daughter and children do not put on make up they play with it because it looks foolish on little girls. Next I told her when I was little and wanted to wear make up my mom sat me between her legs and lightly slapped my cheeks and they were red LOL and she said now you are wearing rouge.. There is nothing prettier than natural beauty. When she goes to school I allow her to wear lip gloss only and toe nail polish not finger polish unless it is clear. When she is home if she wants to wear make up I allow her. Now she understands there is a time to wear it and it is not now she is only 11.

Angelina - posted on 03/15/2010

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are you mad about the make up? or the lying? if its the make up....my opinion is to show her how to wear make up. its inevitable...shes gon wear makeup. talk to her about it. explain that more is NOT better with makeup. less is better. let her do really nuetral tones. clear lip gloss. mascara. but the lying has GOT to stop. she needs to understand that our Father can hear and see her when we cannot. the reports are good. i dont know what verse or chapter it is....but in the bible somewhere it says something about lying to yourself, and/or its like looking in the mirror and seeing your face and as soon as you turn away you forget what you look like.

Angelina - posted on 03/15/2010

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are you mad about the make up? or the lying? if its the make up....my opinion is to show her how to wear make up. its inevitable...shes gon wear makeup. talk to her about it. explain that more is NOT better with makeup. less is better. let her do really nuetral tones. clear lip gloss. mascara. but the lying has GOT to stop. she needs to understand that our Father can hear and see her when we cannot. the reports are good. i dont know what verse or chapter it is....but in the bible somewhere it says something about lying to yourself, and/or its like looking in the mirror and seeing your face and as soon as you turn away you forget what you look like.

Dawn - posted on 03/15/2010

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My daughter was interested in make up at 11 too. She was allowed to experiment all she liked with it as long as it got washed off the minute we went out the door. Now she is almost 13 and is allowed to wear it on weekends as long as it looks appropriate. I must admit she does a nice job and doesn't go over board like I have seen some kids do. She still wants to wear it to school but this is not permitted. She also knows that if she wears it more than what we have agreed on, the make up will be taken away. I think she should be allowed to experiment at home under your supervision and guidance.

Dawn - posted on 03/15/2010

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My daughter was interested in make up at 11 too. She was allowed to experiment all she liked with it as long as it got washed off the minute we went out the door. Now she is almost 13 and is allowed to wear it on weekends as long as it looks appropriate. I must admit she does a nice job and doesn't go over board like I have seen some kids do. She still wants to wear it to school but this is not permitted. She also knows that if she wears it more than what we have agreed on, the make up will be taken away. I think she should be allowed to experiment at home under your supervision and guidance.

Dawn - posted on 03/15/2010

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My daughter was interested in make up at 11 too. She was allowed to experiment all she liked with it as long as it got washed off the minute we went out the door. Now she is almost 13 and is allowed to wear it on weekends as long as it looks appropriate. I must admit she does a nice job and doesn't go over board like I have seen some kids do. She still wants to wear it to school but this is not permitted. She also knows that if she wears it more than what we have agreed on, the make up will be taken away. I think she should be allowed to experiment at home under your supervision and guidance.

Dawn - posted on 03/15/2010

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My daughter was interested in make up at 11 too. She was allowed to experiment all she liked with it as long as it got washed off the minute we went out the door. Now she is almost 13 and is allowed to wear it on weekends as long as it looks appropriate. I must admit she does a nice job and doesn't go over board like I have seen some kids do. She still wants to wear it to school but this is not permitted. She also knows that if she wears it more than what we have agreed on, the make up will be taken away. I think she should be allowed to experiment at home under your supervision and guidance.

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