Miranda - posted on 04/20/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )
I have recently learn't that my daughter who was 9 at the time was sat down by my Ex's girlfriend and was 'explained' the details of puberty. Of course I was shocked as I had had a previous conversation with my Ex's girlfriend that this was not appropriate as my daughter was still so young , none of her friends were showing signs of puberty and either was she. But I did say should she ask me questions I would appropriately discuss it with her. These past holidays myself and the other Mums at school thought it was time appropriate as there are some of the girls peers starting to develop breasts etc. But my daughter informed me she had already had the 'chat' last year with her Dads girlfriend, that would have made her nine! I am upset about several aspects, some I can't get my Ex to understand so I will have to accept that but what I am really upset about is, now I'm concerned about why 'the girlfriend' didn't tell me! I dont know any details of the conversation she has shared. So I don't know what or how she informed my daughter of 'puberty.' I have asked my daughter who is 10 nearly 11 now what was said but she has such a beautiful soul she just said 'It's ok Mum I know all about it Sam told me but please don't be upset with her. It sounds yucky and I don't really want to talk about it' OMG. What I do know is my daughter didn't ask any questions, Sam just was sitting down with her and began chatting about it. Where do I go from here.
Thanks everyone that has responded to my question. Since posting it I have been able to 'chat' to my daughter. Apparently my daughter made a comment about her armpits smelling after a day of playing outside with her brother, and the 'Puberty' information was divulged. No books, no literature, nothing, just Sam's take on the whole issue. I have been prepared for sometime with books even with one that has most common questions that girls aged 10 to 12 ask..
Tracey you asked if I was from the UK (?) the answer to that is no. I am Australian and have lived here for all my 38 years, and have been a Registered Nurse for the last 16 years. Communication between Sam and I has never been a problem, or so I thought. In fact when she is home alone she often pops in for a chat, and its usually her venting about her three grown up children (18, 20 & 23) that have nothing to do with her. Of which I have never asked why as I don't think its my place to ask! Which is why I am so upset, as she has had many opportunities to tell me that she has had to speak to my daughter about Puberty. Interestingly my Ex didn't know of the conversation either!!!
Anyhow, whilst I still remain upset with Sam, I will move on for the sake of my children and my own stress levels. Hopefully my Ex and Sam will see this as a blessing and never ignore my parental rights and/ or requests again.