Is it advisable for me to bath my 10 year old son?

Adefemi - posted on 06/26/2012 ( 120 moms have responded )

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Is a good thing for me to bath my 10 year old son?

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Barbara - posted on 01/04/2013

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I do think that Susan has a point. If this is a special needs case, or if the boy in question has an issue about hygiene, then maybe mom is just trying to be a good mom. If one or both of these issues isn't the problem, then I think we have a helicopter mom who hovers excessively to assuage her own issues. Either way, none of us really knows here and since concerns raised by others, both appropriately and inappropriately, seem to have ruffled feathers, I can't see where any additional comment from me will be helpful.

Chasmodai - posted on 01/04/2013

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I've read this thread and I think that bathing a a ten year old is not necessarily abuse. It might not be the best thing for the kid, or it might be necessary, but it depends on the kid.

One idea that works well is to make a hygiene chart. It can be laminated so that it won't be ruined if it gets splashed. Make a list of steps to follow, similarly to a chore chart. For younger kids, pictures can be used. The chart can be customized to the needs of the child.

Here are some: http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.c...
http://www.chorecharts.net/preview/Hygie...
http://www.mypersonalhygiene.com/persona...

The goal is for our children to grow up to be as independent as possible. We want them to become adults who know how to care for themselves properly. Have you ever met an adult with poor personal hygiene? Adults with poor personal hygiene can have all sorts of problems as a result. Obviously we can't bathe them until they are 30 so at some point they must learn how to do it for themselves.

We have a 14 year disabled son. We try very hard to do all we can to teach him to bathe himself independently. However, he has been known to flood the bathroom, sit in a tub full of ice cold water, and come out of the tub no cleaner than when he came in. He will use an entire bottle of soap in one bath, waste it down the drain and still not get clean. He has other hygiene problems, as well. The smell can become very offensive. From a health standpoint, it's necessary to supervise this closely. He also has a compromised immune system and his health can be in jeopardy if he is not kept clean. He cannot wash his own hair. If he tries, he only gets the top and sides, and never the back of his head. We have a handle on the situation. Eventually we may need to get an occupational therapist to work with him on his hygiene. My only point is that it depends on the kid.

We also have a 12 year old son who keeps himself pretty clean but still needs to be reminded. His independence has increased gradually. I guess we started to "back away from the bathtub" when he was about 6, but we still needed to supervise somewhat and gradually decreased the supervision over time.

Kids can get fungal infections and other problems if they are not clean. Recently I was standing in line behind a group of adolescent boys at the grocery store. I accidentally got a glimpse into one of the boy's ears. Ugh! My first thought was, "Where is that child's mother?"

We respect our children's privacy, but we have never treated them as if their bodies were "bad" or sexualized them in any way. They are not ashamed of their bodies, and they are not embarrassed if we happen to see them without their clothes. If we do happen to see them without their clothes, we do not react, or become offended. At the same time we teach respect for themselves and others.

We are not a nudist family, but I really think that we have far too many sexual hangups in the USA. Of course sexual exploitation of children is wrong. Exploitation of anyone is wrong. I think it's possible for a family to be open about nudity while protecting their children from sexual or any type of abuse, and still teach appropriate boundaries, and loving and affirming sexual ethics. It's also possible for a family to be extremely modest to the point of being uptight, everybody staying covered all the time- and sexual abuse can still be going on in that family. How long the parents help the child with bathing is not necessarily an indicator of sexual abuse.

Carmen - posted on 01/03/2013

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I think he's old enough to bathe himself. I have a two boys 12-6 I sometimes help my 6 year old but he is very capable of bathing himself. I stopped helping out my 12 year old at the age of 6 or 7 because I knew he needed to.learn how to shower alone. without moms help. good luck

Barbara - posted on 01/03/2013

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For a short period of time we had a family of two children and one mother living with us in our home as they had been evicted. The girl was my daughters age and in the same grade at her school. The young boy was about 9 or 10. Every evening after dinner, the mom would instruct the boy to go into the bathroom for his bath. About 10 minutes later, she would follow him into the bathroom and 'help him' take his bath. For the 15 or 20 minutes they were in there together, I was extremely uncomfortable. I was fine with the boy taking his bath alone, mom helping with the hair at the end of the bath, but for her to be in there that long - it felt unhealthy to me. I never reported this, we know the family, I know the boy and he seems well adjusted to outward appearances. A month or so later I had to ask her to find other housing as the home we had at the time was quite small and the mom wasn't really following my requests (take the cots out of the dining room in the morning and stow them in my daughters room til the girls go to bed) eating all of my food without any minor offer of contribution, 'borrowing' my daughers key with out asking my permission. I was very glad when they moved. Aside from all of the 'other stuff', the evening bath issue still bothered me a lot. Some signs of anxiety seemed apparent to me, he had, at age 8, chronic bowel syndrome - seemed awfully young. I won't tell Sara what to do, but I will say this did disturb me.

Brandi - posted on 01/03/2013

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Um no I'd say if your son is 10 it's time to let him grow up and bathe himself.

Lakota - posted on 12/31/2012

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Darrell, I have to agree with you. My youngest is 13 and is a boy. I will remind him or ask him if he washed his hair or brushed his teeth. But, when I first read that post, I almost spit out my coffee. It is disgusting and some of the posts on here are disgusting. Good job on the reporting.

Cory - posted on 12/31/2012

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Give him his privacy! I know it is super hard seeing them grow up! If he needs help with something, help him. You still need to obviously check in on him. He may even still need assistance with washing his hair. Good luck!

Cari - posted on 12/27/2012

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Well I bathe my son until 8.. silly but true. or 7.. .. no worries. but 10.. try to stop. ok.. He will do fine.... is that your only son. .. Are you married or single? ... let me know.... because I was single and put too much attention on him and babied him .. now 31 he is a great man..!!!!!! but at 10.. yes stop.. Good luck

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At 10 years old your son is old enough to bath himself. Let him have his privacy!! He will figure it out and then you will have the opposite problem my son takes more showers a day than I can count. Just hang in there, don't allow the trolls to upset you.

Cecilia - posted on 12/26/2012

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Also, them going to school smelling will not get you reported for neglect... even if it did get a report they would come to your house, see you have soap, running water, washcloths and towels., ask you why he smells... Your answer is he's a kid and i send him into the shower... what can i do? They go okay then bye... Simple as that.

on the other hand if they show up and ask why you're in the bathroom with a 10 year old naked child and your answer is because he's a dirty boy... well they might investigate for a little longer than a 5 minute visit.

Cecilia - posted on 12/26/2012

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Ok I havn't read all of this but I will have to say in General I agree with Darrell. Not his wording but his thoughts. I would think that some sort of damage is being done(if not yet then soon enough). I'm sure by now he knows this isn't "normal". I'm sure he knows his friends shower alone. If you don't stop at 10 then when do you stop? 12? 14? 16? 18? Sorry but a 16 yr old teen can be the smelliest people around...

Now i know that boys smell and they don't always get hints about it either. I have 2 teen boys. I havn't bathed them since they were about 5 ish. Sometimes they smell. I've learned to not be subtle about their smells. They have gym at school and come home smelly and i tell them to get a wash cloth and clean up and get more deodorant on. If it's that much of an issue let him shower when he comes out make him lift his arm and sniff if you need to. Still demeaning maybe but maybe make a deal of sorts. One week of him doing it right alone and you'll stop sniffing him.

On another note it isn't just boys, girls when they start their period don't always know how to clean up all the way either. I know I'm not taking my 13 yr old daughter into the shower and cleaning her up... Just saying..

As other's have said, let them deal with their peers saying something. Let him go to school smelling one day and his friends will let him know. If it continues he might be picked on a little (not saying the kids who do it are right) this is how society works. Believe me, let him get interested in a girl and he will leave the house smelling perfect every day.

Sara - posted on 12/26/2012

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In response to Barbara, THANK YOU! That is exactly my point! It is pretty easy to judge someone who's shoes you have not walked in, it does not mean you SHOULD! As for foster children, I would NEVER bathe a foster child that was my sons age, THAT would be very inappropriate. Foster children have their own unique set of hang-ups and forcing them to be bathed by anyone would be very demeaning. They are children who need to be built up and loved without being forced into a situation where they feel even more is being taken from them. They are already in a situation that is far beyond their control and have had their lives ripped away from them even if for the right reasons. In that situation, there is an entirely different set of boundaries.

Sara - posted on 12/26/2012

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I came to this site because I am having issues with my daughter. I'm not going to even bother going into it now, because instead of feeling supported as a mother who is trying to parent her children and bring them up in a manner that molds them to be respectful, caring, responsible young adults, I feel attacked for being a parent instead of a friend to my children. Here's a news flash for all of you who are so quick to judge, our job is to be their parent. I'm hard on my kids, yes, because the world is going to be hard on them! No boss will tolerate an employee that must be told to do their job repeatedly, that person will find themselves standing in line at the unemployment office. I don't want my children to live with me until they are in their 30's!!! I want them to go out into the world and contribute something positive to it. I want them to have work ethic and an appreciation for life and pride for the good job they are doing. I DO NOT want to teach them to take everything for granted! So yes, my motto will remain do it yourself or it will be done for you! For instance, and I'm sure, judging by the pattern I see here this will be considered abuse so again I say go ahead turn me in (by the way, I actually used my name unlike Darrell who is so quick to judge and "report" me for abuse, hmmmm. Makes me wonder) If I tell my child to clean his/her room and they don't... the following weekend they will come home to find their room clean! Because I will have done it, and the things that were scattered all over their floor will be gone! Because it is not my job to clean their room, it is theirs! And it doesn't take many times of their "stuff" disappearing for them to develop an appreciation for it and DO THEIR JOB when they are told to!!! My children are loved and they know it. But they are not coddled in my home. I find you people to be offensive, rude, narrow minded and unnecessarily judgmental! So what! When my son is taking a shower I ask him if he has done certain things, he is extremely absent minded! At some point, like I have already said, it will click! So far it hasn't, but eventually it will, until then my job is to GUIDE him, not overlook his behavior (NOT because I am a bad parent and NOT because he is a bad kid!!! HE IS A 10 YEAR OLD BOY, he can spend 30 minutes standing outside of the water watching it go down the drain and never have a drop touch him, what is the good in that?) I have a feeling if I went the other way and just let him do nothing I would be reported for child neglect. Looks to me like there is no way to win here. This has certainly proven not to be a forum for support from fellow parents. But I'll tell you what, if I ever feel the need to be attacked and judged for being a good parent, I'll know exactly where to come for it!

Maria - posted on 12/22/2012

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just because this is called "circle of moms", some kids don't have moms so why shouldn't fathers be allowed to comment. and I seriously hope I misunderstood Jennifer's post because I see big problems with "family showers between mother and son no matter what age" does that mean Jennifer, that you see no reason for a 35 year old mother to shower with her 15 year old son? because that's exactly what you implied and I personally find it appalling and disgusting and would be the first person to call the authorities if I knew someone was doing that. It is also abusive to the child, with the possibility of the parent being deemed a pedophile.

Maria - posted on 12/22/2012

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after reading these comments i came to this conclusion: Darrell.. I wouldn't exactly call it abuse, but it is rather strange and could be considered demeaning to the child, but after reading Sara's posts, I have to wonder why she feels the need to sit in the bathroom and give a play-by-play of what he should do and how to do it because realistically, a 10 year old is definitely old enough to bathe himself. If he really doesn't know how to do it properly, then get an anatomically correct doll and show him. There is no need to sit in the bathroom with him while he does this. He's 10, not 4 and if he just doesn't want to bother, then let him stink. Once the kids at school begin telling him he smells like a garbage dump, that just might motivate him to wash better. Ask yourself this question: would you think it alright if a dad was bathing his 10 year old daughter? sara, your "get it done or it will be done for you with unpleasant results" home motto has even me a little frightened and no, i don't have boys either but if i found out my husband was sitting guard on the toilet while the girls were in the shower, i'd probably have him committed. I nearly crucified him because he didn't knock on the bathroom door before going in when our then 11 year old daughter was taking a bath and the shower curtain was left open. And just for the record, having to remind your kids on a daily basis to put away their backpacks and pick up their socks is hardly comparable to bathing them when they are clearly old enough to do it themselves. my youngest is 18 and i still have to remind her to get her dirty clothes downstairs. Does that mean i'm going to inspect her when she gets out the shower..he** no.

Barbara - posted on 12/20/2012

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Sara, I'm sorry if you were offended by my post. We are moms here just trying to help other moms. I think Darrell's post is a 'little over the top' and clearly he identifies with some level of embarrassment he may be feeling here. If you don't believe that what you are doing is of any harm to your son, then, by all means go ahead, we don't really live in your house and know your boy or you, so we don't have a legitimate right to bellyache. We are just trying to provide whatever support we can to other moms who may have the same question. I will bow out of this thread for a while since it seems I can't provide any assistance here. And in answer to your question, no, I don't have a son. I did have a foster boy living with me for a little over a year, he was 8 and wanted to bathe alone. I made sure the water temperature wasn't too hot and that he had a bath rug and a towel and plenty of soap. He took it from there and came out in his jammys smelling fresh and clean.

Sara - posted on 12/19/2012

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Darrell, YOU ARE NOT AN ADVOCATE FOR KIDS!!! DO NOT fool yourself. You are a joke and a bully. I disagreed with you and you immediately began insulting me and accusing me of being abusive. Here's a news flash for you... I have MUCH better things I would rather be doing than sitting on the toilet reminding my very easily distracted son to wash his butt. I have 3 children and a home to take care of not to mention a full time job (guess what I do there, ha, jokes on you, I bathe people of ALL ages, and feed them, brush their hair, keep them company etc... you get the point, or maybe not, you don't seem to "get" much) I would rather be doing MANY things instead of supervising a shower, which by the way, you seemed to glaze over the part where I pointed out I DO NOT wash him, I sit in there supervising. In fact I don't ever actually see him naked (we have this thing called a shower curtain, GREAT invention) but then that wouldn't have fit your agenda of trying to make me look like a monster would it, so you skipped acknowledging it. I also pointed out numerous times that he IS NOT embarrassed, yet you say I "enjoy embarrassing him" I did not insinuate you were molested in a bathtub, I said if you had been I would understand why you have attacked me so harshly for doing absolutely nothing wrong. But, no, you just keep piling on the insults, wherefore you have proven, again and again, you are nothing less than an ASS. And since YOU suggested I am an sexual abuser it would be YOU attempting to deflect YOUR guilt. Now sir, shut the hell up and leave me alone. I look forward to the laughter that will ensue in the extremely unlikely event that any type of authority were to call me, which I highly doubt would happen since the only way they would consider contacting me would be if you forwarded my posts to them and after reading what I have said versus what you are suggesting I am they will see you for what you are... a troublemaker and an ass. GOODBYE!!!

Sara - posted on 12/19/2012

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What I know is you make a LOT of assumptions and for a man who said this

" I do agree however that it is uncomfortable having someone disagree with you, but calling them names is not a way to address someone else s opinion. "

You have called me plenty of names! Maybe this is your cover to make yourself feel better about what YOU are doing wrong. Perhaps that is why you seem so angry, afraid you're going to be found out? Sounds to me like you are projecting you sick, perverted fantasies on me to take the eyes off yourself! How do you like it? Like I said, go find someone else to pick on. But hey, thanks for at least having the decency to spell my name right that time ;-) much appreciated!

Sara - posted on 12/19/2012

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Darrell, You're an ASS!!! Report me to the authorities, see what comes of it. There are no laws against making sure your children are clean. It is a well know fact that girls and boys are different. You're only success here was to make yourself look like a raving lunatic. Congrats! You read so much into what I didn't say that you missed what I did say! Proving further to me you are not worth my time or energy, go find someone else to pick on!

Sara - posted on 12/19/2012

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Barbara, do you have a 10 year old boy? I have had to do nothing more than help my girls wash their hair since they were very little, at this point my 12 year old is fully capable of completely bathing herself and she does so with no prompting, my 7 year old has to be told to bathe usually and asks for help. Young girls in general are more conscientious when it comes to bathing. BOYS AND GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT. If my son was mortified by my sitting on the toilet reminding him what to wash I may see it differently but he has never said a word... aside from "Can you hand me a towel?" If there is no inappropriate touching, ogling, sexual arousal etc. what is wrong with making sure your child gets clean? And Darrell, if I felt you were even worth engaging, which I don't as you are clearly a very angry MAN (hmmmmmmm...Circle of MOMS?) I'm pretty sure I could compile a list of resources showing it is NOT detrimental. Studies and research go both ways. If you were molested in the bathtub, okay I get it now, if not, what the hell are you so uptight about?

Sara - posted on 12/19/2012

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So, since you couldn't even manage to spell my name correctly I'm left with no choice but to assume you did not actually read my post! First of all, my son seems un-phased by my being in the bathroom while he showers and like I said, if he finds it embarrassing, GOOD!!! He SHOULD be doing it on his own, but he doesn't. If he starts being embarrassing I have to assume he will come to the realization that if he PROVES he is capable of doing a good job I will trust him to do so. MAYBE the embarrassment will serve as a bit of motivation for him to FINALLY DO A GOOD JOB!!! Before you sling insults and tell a woman she's abusive or a mother from hell perhaps you should actually read what she has to say!!!

Barbara - posted on 12/18/2012

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Geez, he's a kid! My daughter is 15 and I still have to remind her to put her backpack away, feed the dog, pickup her socks, put her dishes in the sink and get her clothes in the hamper so I can do the laundry. I never have to remind her to take a shower/bath and ask her if she's cleaned her self thoroughly. I rarely have since she was 7 or 8 and and really -who cares?? If they are sitting in warm soapy water, and splashing having fun in the bathtub, they are fine. Check behind the ears and the collar line, but leave the poor kid alone when it comes to his bottom. Privacy starts about this age and he's probably mortified at this intrusion of his privacy. Give the kid a break, let him know you trust him enough to take care of his own personal hygiene and he will make you proud. Give him reason to question his self-worth and your trust in him and he will be disappointed in himself.

Sara - posted on 12/17/2012

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And for the record I wholeheartedly believe my son SHOULD be doing this himself, but on that subject he should also be putting his backpack away when he gets home, hanging up his coat and tucking away his shoes. He should be putting the dishes away and cleaning a litterbox and having a snack, cleaning up his mess from his snack, sitting down at the table to do his homework, putting his laundry away and ASKING before he turns the TV on... but guess what, he doesn't do any of those things without supervision either (except of course having a snack). Not because he's bad, but because he's a 10 year old boy. Someday (God I hope) it will click, until then... In my house you'll hear things like "Hang up your coat!", "Did you put your shoes away?", "Where did you leave your backpack?" and yes "Did you wash your bottom good enough?" and "Do you need help with your hair?". My kid is smart, I mean he's really SMART, scary, "How will I ever keep up with him?" smart, but when it comes to common sense, he's got nothing going for him. And it's the common sense that tells you to wash your bottom good not just sit in the tub and splash.

Sara - posted on 12/17/2012

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I'm guessing I'm going to get jumped on here, but seriously? Does anyone criticizing this woman HAVE a 10 year old son? I do, and let me tell you, if I didn't help him get clean, he would have fur (and I mean the icky, green, smelly sort) growing from places I won't mention cuz I'm pretty sure we all know the anatomy of a boy and can figure out where I'm talking about! Boys are space cadets (so are girls for that matter). Now I don't go so far as to jump in the tub with him and scrub his privates but my God, if I'm not in the bathroom guiding him through each step and assisting him to wash his hair it won't get done! If he finds this embarrassing GOOD!!! That's one helluva way for him to learn to grow up a little and take charge of his life (which trust me, my son NEEDS to do). Now if your kid is fighting you on this and doing a decent job of cleaning himself, it's time to back off and let him handle it himself. If not, I say supervise and assist. People need to stop being so uptight! Cleaning your child is not child abuse nor is it sexual abuse, or any kind of abuse!!! It's called cleanliness. The motto in my house is "Do it yourself, or it will be done for you (and you won't like the outcome)!"

Patricia - posted on 12/14/2012

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Not at 10 yrs old. He should be bathing himself unless there is a reason he can't physically bath himself. I was glad when my sons were old enough to get their own baths and showers.

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I agree with Darrell. Like he said, unless there is something wrong with the child, it's time to let go! You as a parent are suppose to be teaching your kids how to become adults. You can't wait until they are teens to do this. They need to know boundaries especially with private areas. It's one thing to grab an ear here and there but you have to teach them to do it themselves. There are enough kids becoming adults these days that have been babied to the point they expect someone to do everything for them. On other note, kids at 10 already are paying attention to anything of private nature. They should naturally be modest about showing their parts and teaching some modesty wouldn't hurt these days either. This is really common sense to me.

Lakota - posted on 12/04/2012

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No. Your son is old enough to do it himself - unless he is injured or too sick to do it.



Why is Darrell - a man - even commenting here?

Ariana - posted on 12/03/2012

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On the modesty issue I didn't have major problems being naked around my dad until I hit 11. Not that I was naked very much around him but talking about the 11 year old with the collarbone situation I know I got really sick (out both ends type sick) at age 10 and my dad helped me undress and get a shower going to clean me up and I didn't really think anything about it (that was probably the last year that would happen but still). So some kids don't have the same amount of modesty, or they might also feel more comfortable with their parents than with strangers. Also the fact that people say thing like 'what if the sexes were reversed' just seems... well sexist to men I guess.



My Dad raised 3 girls and a boy all by himself and he saw me naked plenty as a child and probably bathed me a million times up to a certain age. That being said I don't think a 10 year old needs to be bathed especially if he's uncomfortable; but I do agree that not all kids develop modesty until they're older. My friend used to walk from the shower to her room for clothes completely naked in front of me and her parents up until she was 10 and they'd TELL her to put some clothes on and she didn't care.



Anyway, if the kid doesn't like it don't force, that's just odd.

Barbara - posted on 12/01/2012

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The last time I helped my daughter with her nightly bath was when she was age 8, and then all I did was help shampoo her long hair and rinse the shampoo thoroughly. I think bathing a 10 year-old is taking things too far unless the child has serious special needs and requires monitoring for safety purposes. Let him splash, have some fun and then insist he cleans up whatever mess he made in the bathroom. We mom's sometimes have difficulties in letting go.

Sherri - posted on 11/26/2012

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Well if that works for your family Darrell great but this works for our family and everyone is normal, healthy and happy. It is simply what you are comfortable with and that is what is correct for each and everyones families.

Sherri - posted on 11/26/2012

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Although 10 imo may be too old to bath. I don't think that is too old for parents to see the naked or kids to see their parents nude. Gender is irrelevant.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/26/2012

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If it had been reversed and my husband had had to bathe our daughter, I would expect that she, like my son, would probably choose to be partly clothed. I think you have to have misunderstood what I was saying about privacy to react the way you have. I would only bathe a kid of that age if they were having a problem with it. And by the way, my son asked for the help, he could not reach everywhere and was starting to stink. A broken collarbone may not seem like a big deal to you but not being able to move your dominant arm/hand really reduces one's capacity.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/26/2012

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When you post simply to disagree with someone it does come off as troll-like. I am fine with disagreement. This is for parenting advice and even though my initial post was really innocuous (really, you disagree that a child with a broken collarbone should be helped with a bath at age 11? I don't think you read my initial post, because it said nothing that was in any way determinant about the subject of modesty.) Please make sense if you're going to criticize something I said. No offense taken here, but do understand that if all you do is make critical remarks about other people, they will think you are a troll.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/26/2012

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Wow. Some people do not read before replying. I said "some boys may not be that modest". What part of that is bothersome to you? It's a vague statement I made because I don't KNOW that everyone is modest, I am not a mindreader. "some" and "may" are terms that denote incomplete knowledge of a subject. Geez.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/26/2012

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You obviously misread my comment. I said "some" boys may not be that modest. I don't pretend to know what is in the head of every person, male or female, some people never really develop modesty about nudity. I can't imagine what else you think there could be to my story. I was simply sharing that I would only bathe either of my kids at that age if there were a reason that they could not do it themselves.

Sandra - posted on 11/25/2012

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No, unless there are special circumstances. Does someone want you to be bathing him?

He is too big.

When mine was about 9 he broke his arm and once a week I helped him in the tub. I washed him quickly and gave him the wash cloth to wash his genitals himself.

Yvonne - posted on 11/19/2012

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Not really,you need to respect his privacy..I have 3 lads nd from age 5...6ish, I haven't bathed them...By 10 he should be fairly independent in that respect :)

Heather - posted on 11/15/2012

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stop!!! my son is 10 and i occasionally pop my head in the bathroom just to hurry him along or check he has washed his hair etc.. while he is in the shower, but he hates me even cracking the door open a little. I always have to tell him im not looking at you i just want to know if you have washed your hair etc...he has bbeeen showering on his own for yrs now as we only have a shower and no bath and me and my partner decided many yrs ago he was too old to shower with me and then he was too old to shower with dad as well. in the begining of his independent showering my partner wld pop in on him and just make sure he was washing properly and everywhere, but now he is fine on his own.

Starr - posted on 11/09/2012

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I would certainty think NOT! Unless he has some kind of disability or other physical imitation.

Susan - posted on 11/09/2012

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Why are you still bathing him? Boys have hormones, same as girls. He needs his privacy mom!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/05/2012

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I had to help mine bathe when he was 11 (broken collarbone) and he chose to leave his underwear on while I was in the room with him. But some 10 year olds may not have developed that modesty yet. I do think that by 10 the child should do it for himself unless there is some developmental or physical reason why you would have to help. Both of my kids were sloppy and didn't like to bathe at that age, so I think I might know where your question is coming from, but I think no. I'd make him bathe himself. It can be a struggle. It got a lot easier when other kids started telling them they had BO though.

Corie - posted on 10/26/2012

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I have to help my autistic son bathe. He is 9 now and if he is not proficient enough to get clean then I will bathe him when he is 10. If your son is uncomfortable then you should stop bathing him and come up with ways to encourage him to do it thoroughly. Is he not able to do it well or right? Just curious.

Sherri - posted on 08/14/2012

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@Lisa I am well aware I was being a bit sarcastic with my question.

Sally - posted on 08/11/2012

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If your sons uncomfortable stop. My grandaughter (8) started going to another room to change in to her p.j's about a year or so ago, that was enough to let us know that she needed privacy. We have no hang ups about bodys etc in this house but we do respect each other even to knocking on doors no matter what their age.

Lisa - posted on 08/10/2012

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Sherri nudity is fairly common in europe, and i know siblings showering together in a pinch to save water/time is often no big deal. However i have never heard it was normal for a parent to 'bathe' their child exclusively into their teens. That strikes me as someone who is a pedo and just on the site looking for other pedos.

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