Is this normal for a 12 year old girl?

Marisa - posted on 03/26/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 12 and refuses to bring home any homework. All she is interested in is her social life. Is this normal ?

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Tricia - posted on 03/28/2010

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This is very normal, but NOT to be encouraged. Girls this age tend to not want to be "too smart" or a "geek" because they think that boys don't like smart girls. At this age, boys tend to either not be interested in girls at all, or just at that "they have WHAT on the front of their chests?" level, so the girls may be right....for right now. This is no reason to let them slack on their schoolwork, as I'm sure you know. ;) The best you can do at this point is make homework a necessity. If it is not done, she doesn't HAVE a social life. Work with her teacher to make sure her work is getting done. You may be "FrankenMommy" for a while in her eyes, but she will have the educational tools she will need in high school if you make her develop them now.

Rene - posted on 03/27/2010

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oh yeah is it ever i have a 11 yr old 12yr old and 13 yr old girl and yes it is my husband and i set an percentage for there grades that has to be met or no social life no phone no computer no friends over turned things around right now

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Nicole - posted on 04/25/2014

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Yes. She is 12. She probably is failing in school. Do not take her social life away from her, that would build up hate.

Corrine - posted on 05/03/2010

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How are her grades? If her performance in school is suffering then take her social life away from her until she shows that she is responsible enough to have the priviledge of having friends and a phone. My son really wanted World of Warcraft, I told him until he showed me that he was responsible enough to get his homework done and take care of his posessions at home that he wasnt going to get anything. We surprised him with it for xmas. and a month after xmas brake his teacher sent me an email that said he wasnt taking care of his homework responsibilities at school. I took all of his priviledges away until he could show me that he knew what his priorities are supposed to be. She may hate you for it but in the long run it will be a good lesson for her on what is important and how to balance the two.

Angie - posted on 05/02/2010

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my 12 year old said the same thing. Wrong. check his grades online everynight. Our school has agedas that they have to log homework and class assignments into everyday. The teacher actually sign them every day so that i know he wrote them out right and then i sign them so the teacher know that i saw the agenda. He finally got the meassage when it was time for the teacher to sighn the permission slip for him to go to our local camp.They have to keep a specific grade point average and do 20 hrs of some sort of comunnity service to be eligable. well he isnt getting to go this year because he didnt fulfill his responsibilities at school the teacher didnt sign. he had all a's except in this class. and all because he doesnt like to write and turn in his reading logs each week.

Tanya - posted on 04/23/2010

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I think it may be because we are going through the same thing with our 12 yr. old.

Susan - posted on 04/23/2010

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yes i have problem times two with my two boys hopefuly when school changes over to academy homework schedule will be online and most of homework will be on line all you can do is talk to school and maybe encouage daughter to attend catch up lessons or homework club

Virginia - posted on 04/19/2010

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My son never brought any homework home. When he got in Jr. High and High school they did their home work in class or they didn't have any. Never brought a book home all year. it wasn't cool to carry them around, I guess. He was always on the honor roll. If she is making good grades she is doing it somewhere else. If not then she should have some consequence for not having good grades. Maybe she will bring it home after that.

Christy - posted on 04/17/2010

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It's normal for that tween stage,but not right. I would go check at her school and talk with the her teacher to see. Then you find out she does have homework you let her know you had to go behind her; and to ask her where is the trust in your relationship going.
But I would go to her school first and check how things are going in her class rooms.
Because if the tween's get away with what there doing now they will do it when they become a teenager in high school and then they start disrespecting.

Kutia - posted on 04/08/2010

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No that is not normal, because I would think that they are getting homework to bring home, but she just isnt bringing it. this Tween stage is starting to be just as bad as the Teen stage. My 11 yr old just totally changed, her mouth is getting out of hand and she is pushing me to the limit. I dont know what is going on.

Ondene - posted on 04/08/2010

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I agree with Margaret Martinez. They are just pushing their bounderies and if you let it get out of control then they will walk all over you for the rest of your life. You are the parent....take charge

Angela - posted on 04/07/2010

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I have a 12 year old daughter and the school she attends does not send home homework often but it does come home once in a while. She is my social bug and I have to stay on top of her to get it done because she would rather be doing anything else except that. My daughter's teachers send emails about tests, grades, missing work also and most of her teachers have web sites themselves linked to the school's home page so the courses I know that have homework the most often I can always check if I suspect that she has some and didn't bring it with her

Geri - posted on 04/06/2010

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Need to make sure that she is making good grades...my daughter is 11 and sometimes she doesn't bring homework home..but she makes straight A's plus her teacher sends me emails regarding tests...assignments..due dates..etc...same as my other two kids...just make sure you know whats going on...and its all good!!!

Angie - posted on 04/05/2010

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I have a 13 year old daughter who says the same thing all the time but we her school has an internet page for parents to check each class and see assignments needless to say she was missing work in some classes.....she 4 F's.....So we took her cell phone away for a couple of weeks and then told her she could not take her phone to school needless to say within 3 weeks all her grades were up to B's and she asked to take the cell back to school we told her no since it was obviously the problem...she hesitantly agreed lol and decided it was better to leave at home and now when she comes home she brings her homework and completes it before being able to get on her phone.

Debi - posted on 03/31/2010

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Normal yes unlikely that she never has any homework tho that should not be. does she do any kind of projects or anything.. My duaghter has a few classes that they sent notes home at the first of the year saying they dont believe in giving homework because they are at school for so long they should be learning it there that is waht the teachers are getting paid for. But she still has a few teachers that make them do projects and stuff. I would check into it tho.

Colleen - posted on 03/29/2010

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This is normal my 11 year old never brings home any homework. We ask her everyday if she has any and she says "I did it in study hall". WE keep track of her grades so we know if she's telling the truth or not, she is. Anyways she is a social butterfly to say the least and wouldn't be caught dead at the after school "homework club", it's not cool. They should grow out of it before high school, knowing how important their grades are in high school. I remind her all the time about how important high school is.

Kimberley - posted on 03/28/2010

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Very normal at this age it seems like nothing matters more then their social life and thier friends. Sometimes we need to encourage them to bring it home do it have it out of the way then they have more social time in the long run. Sometimes we need to be mean and take things they enjoy away until they get back on track but for the most part they will realize that it is so much easier just to complete the homework!!

GAYLE - posted on 03/28/2010

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Have you spoken to school to find out if she does have homework or not? I found that phoning school to see if she had homework that it soon put a stop to the lies that she didn't have any. It is a case of being consistent with this and explaining to her that you are only concerned for her well being and if she does lie to you then you need to give some sort of punishment to her. She will soon learn and eventually will thank you for being so tough. Hope it all works out and hang in there.. you are her parent and you need to be in charge.. even tho she won't like it you will have to be strong. Good Luck.

Barb - posted on 03/28/2010

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My daughter tends to get most of her work done at school. I had a really hard time at first, but the teacher suggested that she was to show me her homework even if she was finished. This gives me a better idea of what they are doing in class. It doesn't always happen, but it is a work in progress.

Linda - posted on 03/28/2010

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Wow, your such as strict mom. My daughter has always homework, and she do it at home but in such a hurry to finish in order to watch TV or open the computer. Because it is a rule in our house that after doing the homework, they can do whatever they want. Only that they have to sleep early.

Margaret - posted on 03/27/2010

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I think it's normal, especially if she is very social. My daughter went through a phase like that- you have to reach out to the school and teacher on your own. This year the school started using a parent website so I can check grades, attendance, and email the teachers directly. I also love knowing that I can ask to sit in on my daughter's class and the school will allow it. I've told my daughter if it every came down to that, I would go in my PJs, no make-up and sit right at her desk....her grades improved and she does homework now.

Lori - posted on 03/26/2010

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Internet trackers through the school and teacher's webpages, e-mails with teachers and quite possiblly consequences for not bringing home and completing homework as this can very easily drop her grade point average very quickly.

Sherri - posted on 03/26/2010

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My daughter tells me that they dont send home homework....wow...I just can't believe it...I try to make her at least look up things on the internet regarding subjects they are working on, or fun math games, or we ask questions as a family, when we are all together, we give them fun questions to answer on math, and other subjects to test their skills, it turns into a fun night, with laughs and sometimes they tell us (The Parents) Things we did not know...and keeps us all on our toes....

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