Is this normal for a family locker room?

Chellsea - posted on 05/18/2011 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I recently took my 14 yr old son to the water park. I took him to the family locker room to change and rinse off (it's an open area) because the men's locker room was being renovated and boys are not allowed in the women's if they are over 4 years old. . Of course, their were other mothers in their also with sons who were all mostly ages 5 and 6. The thing is, many of them were changing completely. They showed all their privates and many were showering, walking and standing almost naked. Another mom was even walking around in just her thong bikini bottom. most of the kids in their were boys. I didn't feel comfortable with all that my son was seeing. The worst part I thought was when my son went to rinse in the showers, this woman went to the shower head right next to him completely nude! My son just couldn't stop looking everywhere. Especially in the showers :(

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Rick - posted on 02/06/2014

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If these women are comfortable with being seen nude in the locker room you should not make a big deal out of it. Many people view nudity as natural and as long as they are not doing anything lewd I don't think there is anything wrong with it. It is a locker room after all.

Janet - posted on 03/16/2014

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I've been in locker rooms like that several times with my kids and never let it bother me. I undress, shower and then dress while helping my kids do the same. And if other women have their sons with them I don't fret if they look my way, no matter how old they are, if their moms don't mind. I took a shower with my 4yo son once an a boy about 11 or so walked up in his birthday suit and showered next to us. He chatted with me the entire time. No big deal. I did catch him glancing at my body a couple of times, but I didn't call him on it.

Rory - posted on 09/02/2012

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well you have to understand it's a woman's changing room. I don't think it's okay for those women to have to change around an adolescent boy. If they want to be naked in the changing rooms they shouldn't have to feel any embarrassment about it.

Sara - posted on 03/18/2014

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I've been in family locker rooms before without an issue. Having two girls I've not need to use them until we were at a waterpark with my 4 year old nephew. There were several families of mixed ages and genders. My two girls, 12 and 9 at the time, were not uncomfortable. I found it more comfortable then sending my nephew into the men's locker unsupervised. As Giselle said, "nudity only becomes an issue when you make it uncomfortable"

Janet - posted on 08/30/2013

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Everyone has their own level of modesty and views on nudity. I was raised during the 70s by hippie parents so being nude was never an issue. My parents taught me that being nude is THE most natural thing in the world, hence the term "naturists" (i.e. nudists).

Nudity isn't dirty, obscene or sexual. Only the minds of those who see nudity may perceive it that way. And if they do, that has nothing to do with me. It's their problem to deal with.

Nonetheless, I agree that people should be mindful of where they are and who they are with. I've been in family locker rooms several times in the US and traveling in Europe since I was a kid. My parents and I have been stark naked in front of woman, men, boys and girls, and vice versa. Never bothered me, and as far a I know it never bothered them either because most of them were also nude.

But I understand that today society's views on nudity has shifted to a more puritan, almost paranoid state. So I always gauge my surroundings when I take my two sons (4 and 11) into a family locker room. If everyone else is protecting their modesty by keeping their clothes on, so do we. I don't want anyone to freak out or (god forbid) make them think their kids may spend years in therapy because they happened to catch a glimpse of my nipples or bare bottom.

And if the other locker visitors are shedding their clothes, even in a mixed crowd, then so will we. I taught my sons to not be ashamed of their bodies. I also taught them to respect others, Just because everyone is walking around naked doesn't mean they can stare at anyone. And they don't.

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Kate - posted on 06/29/2014

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The original post as well as many subsequent comments are all fantasy as a bunch of families all together, boys and girls, is not a "family locker room" at all. A family locker room is for ONE family only, and if the men's locker room is being renovated it will be closed and the guys are out of luck. Her 14 year old son did not shower next to women neither did the 11 year old boy shower with women and 12 and 9 year old girls. In theory I don't have any problem with coed locker rooms myself, but this would simply not be allowed in the US unless at a nude resort, but then they don't have separate locker rooms anyway. Just someone getting his jollies seeing how people would react.

Apple - posted on 04/26/2014

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IF the men locker room was being renovated. Than there should be a sign on the family locker room door letting everyone know that this locker room is being use by men only.

Another thing to. Your son is 14 years old. He could gone into the boys locker room to do what he need to do. Exploration of a minor is a crime. The women who was in the shower did she had children with her. If she did not than she should have use the women locker room. You son could not stop looking at her. Well we women do the same. She was looking at him and you also were looking at him also.

Have a nice day. I think there more to this issues than you telling us.

Samantha - posted on 09/04/2012

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theres nothing wrong about it, its perfectly natural to be open. the human body is a beautiful thing not something that should be clothed up and hid behind restrictions of clothing. i felt the same way you did. i opened up to it when i took my children to a camp for the summer during my divorce. similar introduction to the shower/ changing issue was brought up, its all very natural, i took my son in with me to the womens changing shower stalls due to the mens not having any water for some apparent reason. upon entering the woman's stalls it was very active and lively overly crowded. mature women sitting on benches practically nude talking about days prior, women walking around nude topless half dressed, even their children boys girls with them. it was a shock to me at first. but being open is a soothing and enjoying experience, theres nothing to be ashamed of, its normal and it happens,

Chaya - posted on 08/03/2012

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Boys his age are curious. The human body is as it is, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. A penis or vagina is no more a dirty word than weenis, or toe. They're going to see it at some point. If in your shoes, I'd ask my kid if he had any questions, and I'd tell him not to stare.
I realize I'm probably far more liberal than you, but that's my quite possibly narrow minded opinion.
So, what if your son had a rash on his private parts? How would you wish him to ask for advice on it?

Giselle - posted on 08/02/2012

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My husband is comfortable with it as am I. When he takes her to the men's change room (which doesn't happen very often) he encourages her to keep her bottoms on while in the shower although he will still have a proper shower. We brought our daughter up seeing us naked quite often in the shower, changing, and tanning nearly naked on vacation. I believe this is the best way, she is quite indifferent to nudity. Although I haven't been in the men's room, she never stares at anyone in the women's room. I'm guessing she gets an eye full of all the men's parts in the men's room, but she's never mentioned it and I won't ask her about it.

IMO nudity only becomes an issue when you make it uncomfortable.

Sandra - posted on 07/30/2012

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Would you feel differently if it was you husband and your daughter (age in mind) in the men's showers?

Giselle - posted on 07/30/2012

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I agree, this sounds like the woman's locker room. I've been in the woman's locker room when young boys come in and just like Lena's family, I will keep my back to the boys while nude / in the shower so they have nothing to look at. Will I gather up all my belongings and try to change in a stuffy dirty toilet stall? No way, the parents know what they are getting into when they bring kids into the change rooms. Change rooms are meant for changing!

Jen - posted on 07/22/2012

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I'm confused. If the men's locker room was being renovated, where were the other men and teenaged boys changing? I would expect everyone to be fairly modest in a family locker room because I would think there could be men OR women in there with their children, isn't that why it's a "family" locker room? The situation you describe, with nude women and young children, sounds like a women's locker room and not a family locker room.

Giselle - posted on 07/18/2012

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What water park is this? We go to water parks all over the country! Better avoid this one.
Thanks in advance.

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I would be a bit shocked too. In my local pool we have mens and womens changing rooms and nothing else, no private booths or anything. It was hard work with sons, i wouldnt let my sons go in the mens until they were 10 and 8 but i would constantly get women having a pop at me in the changing rooms because to them my sons were too old to be in the womens. I dont get why women in changing rooms walk around naked unashamed anyway i always change under a towel and try to be as modest as i can but last time i was there some woman bent over to pick something up right next to me butt naked i didnt know where to look lol.

Sandra - posted on 06/05/2011

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Very large family rooms can be chaotic. Maybe your son is small for his age orthe woman was in a hurry and could not afford to wait so simply got on with business, or she may have felt that keeping her bikini bottom on was adequate cover up for the circumstances. I have a daughter so we simply go into the women's change room. I would take a boy with me if he was small. When I was a girl and dad took us to the park I just went with him or my older brother. But I waited already in my suit, and they changed and showered, usually turned the other way, or at least one leg strategically bent to keep a little modesty while keeping an eye on me. If other males were uncomfortable being nude with a girl there they would just face the other way. But this routine stopped before I turned 10.

Melissa - posted on 05/18/2011

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yikes! I could understand moms doing this at home but not in a public place. This sounds disrespectful to other moms and their sons. I would feel uncomfortable with the other moms seeing me nude let alone a young boy! i have to agree with you on this one.

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