" let's talk about sex"

Amanda - posted on 05/13/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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help....the questions and curiousity are rolling in like a freight train...i just want to bury my head in a hole...i just turned 30 in march, and dont feel like i should have to deal w/ this already..it's like it happened overnight, 1 day my sweet ,innocent boy and then boom, he's telling me what he knows about sex and asking about what he doesnt.,and telling me about what some of the kids at his school are doing...i'm thinking about exploring homeschool options...lol..any advice ?

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Linda - posted on 05/16/2009

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I have always been open to sexual questions...when they were small I taught them the proper names to body parts (when the questions came up) I want my kids to feel comfortable talking to me instead of learning it from their friends. I am always honest and they know they can ask me anything. Believe me I know its hard...LOL..many times I have had to take a deep breath and force myself to take on conversations. Praying all the time..*oh please let me word this right* LOL But I believe they now know to come to their mama if they want the facts!

Maria - posted on 05/15/2009

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I find that boys are more apt to talk casually about their curiosity on the subject of sex than girls at this age. And, to say the least, at this age, kids, girls and boys, seem to know more about the subject than we did at their age due to the influx of materials over the internet, their peers, and just the fact that it's more out in the open as far as availability is concerned. It's better coming from you, Amanda, than his peers or from the internet, where he's liable to get misinformation or worse, pornographic materials. I was dumbfounded when my oldest came to me at 7th grade, and I thought I was prepared! Of course, I had to explain as best I could, but I had to tell him that if he felt more comfortable talking more in-depth to talk to his dad, which I thought he felt relieved after our "little" talk. The course they give in health class is too generalized and does not answer most of their more "concerns", so they come to us.

Blossom - posted on 05/14/2009

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Just continue to be open with your son. I so d-r-e-a-d when my kids come to me with those questions, but it I am so happy that they can come to me. With my daughter, who is almost 13, I have been very open (although soooo uncomfortable!) when she has questions. We have found books and literature that helps with her questions because I get flustered when we have those conversations. I do not want her to feel she cannot talk to me though. I felt that way with my mother and tried things on my own that I so wish my mother would have talked to me about. As Giovanni mentioned, count your lucky stars that he has come to you!

Amanda - posted on 05/14/2009

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thanks for the reply's ...i know i cant really bury my head..it's just how i feel after being all "mommy" and getting thru the conversations....im glad he is willing to talk to us, and we try to be honest and all that good stuff, but recently the interst is been so much more than before( he is almost 12,going to 7th grade) but it's just scary to think about what the next few years will hold,it got here soo fast.) and also to hear what these other kids are doing and talking about....yuk....i look forward to hearing more advice and stories..thanks everyone.

Giovanni - posted on 05/14/2009

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Im right there with you. My son hasn't started asking but I know it is coming soon so I have opened the doors for him to ask. So first off I would be greatful that he came to you to begin with. It's best that he knows that when something comes up, if its this or something else, he has you to talk to rather than finding the answers from his friends someone else less reliable. My best advice is to just be honest. And give him enough information to prepare him to make good decisions. No doubt it is embarrassing for us as well but the more comfortable you look the more comfortable he'll be keep coming to you.

Joanna - posted on 05/14/2009

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my son is 10 going on 13 i get the dirty looks , the door slamming, he knows it all or so he thinks lol we are head butting (not literally) all the time, think its bcos we are so similar!!! is this not too early , aarrgghh

Mary Anne - posted on 05/14/2009

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You totally do not want to bury your head or ignore the questions. That will just peak his curiosity and make him want to figure it out for himself. My best advice would be to talk openly with him and let him know that it is sooooo not a big deal, only is with the one you love..... The more you avoid the "discussion" the harder it is to have the "talk". Your best way to handle it is to be up front and honest. Talk about what the "other kids" are supposedly doing..... and wouldn't it be great if he waited for just the right one to come along and have the best time ever? He would be so "ahead" of the gang having waited. Sex is not only a physical thing, in fact very little of it is physical, the enjoyable and memorable and extremely arousing part of intercourse is the heart felt attatchment. Good luck. I had it lucky with my 2 oldest, 14 and 12, they saw 2 of their younger siblings being born.... and don't want to have to go through that and therefor don't want to do "anything like that". LOL!

Well good luck I hope that maybe some of this helps you. Let me know.....

Mary Anne

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