MY 10 YEAR OLD SON HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND IS VERY LAZY...CAN ANYONE RELATE???

MARGARITA - posted on 01/07/2010 ( 76 moms have responded )

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SO I HAVE TO ASK MY SON CONSTANTLY TO CLEAN HIS ROOM, CLEAN AFTER HIMSELF AND TO JUST STOP BEING LAZY AND HE THEN GETS MAD AND BACK TALKS? I TRIED PUNISHMENT AND WHEN HE SEES IT SERIOUS, HE CRIES AND BEGS TO BE GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE. THE BAD THING IS THAT TEENAGE YEARS HAVENT EVEN STARTED. AT ONE POINT I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE I RECENTLY HAD A BABY SO I FIGURED MAYBE HE WAS JEALOUS BUT HE LOVES HIS SISTER. HE LIKES TO PLAY AND ENTERTAIN HER. SO WHAT'S THE DEAL? CAN ANYONE RELATE TO THIS?

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Lynette - posted on 05/12/2013

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Just had a weekend from hell with my ten year old son. I wonder if it is puberty or not? So far no physical signs of puberty, but can they go through the psychological changes before the physical? OMG, he's got a smart alec response for almost everything asked of him. He's lost screen time for three days and then football training which he loves, but still he doesn't change his attitude. It's driving me crazy and I keep yelling at him which I hate myself for. He's also saying he's stupid and can't do anything etc. If this isn't adolescence, I'm really worried about what I'm in for.

Christina - posted on 04/07/2013

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I have a 10yr old with a very bad attitude. He is very disrespectful to me and his step-dad, but nobody else. He is fine as long as he is getting what he wants or doing something that he wants to do. The worst thing that he does is yell/screams at me. I have tried to explain to him that I am his mother and that is not acceptable. I have tried grounding, taking things away, time-out, ect. I really dont know what else to do. I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips to share on things I can try. At this point I will try anything that might help.

Jackie - posted on 07/31/2013

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Oh wow I now don't feel as bad. My son is an only child and so lazy and it drives me crazy. He sheds clothes, shoes, wrappers, drinks, plates anywhere he is. I have to tell him over and over to clean his room, lift up the seat, stop playing in the bathroom and really take a shower, but garbage in the garbage can. He is very respectful until I raise my voice and then he sulls and stomps his feet on the floor. At school he is just as messy I have replaced his binder several times for messiness. At school he gets in trouble for following not being a leader. He will not do anything school work, clean up whatever unless he wants to. He drives me nuts because I know he doesn't put forth his best effort. He only does enough to get by no extra effort to do anything but eat. He is so loving though and that's what gets me. I blame his dad for the laziness. lol ugh another blog. I do agree though that I have to spend extra time with him. I have quit one of my three jobs to be home more. Maybe its my fault.

Pamela - posted on 01/29/2013

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Hello Magarita,

I too have an 10 year old son that is very unorganized even at school. I typed a to do list for him to follow after school and on weekends. I encourage him to complete it and only then does he get to do fun things that he wants to do. I asked him to write a list of activities that he would like to do. If he completes the list then he gets to pick an activity for the weekend, like going to the show or watching tv. So far it's working, but if he gets into trouble before the week is out he loses his activity. As far as the bad atttitude he writes a reflection on why he's mad and how to overcome the anger.

Bfortin161 - posted on 07/15/2013

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Hi,.this Brandy,I have a 10 yr old son to...he talks back,doesn't listen to me,when I tell him to go clean his room he goes in there doesn't do it...then I tell him a few times, then I start getting stressed ..I have a verrry hard time dealing with stress.... I'M married to his dad..I hate it when he has to step in.I wish my son just did what I asked him to do without any attitude.....

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Johanna - posted on 03/14/2014

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Hi, I understand it is extremely hard at times to get a child who suffers with ADHD to do anything as they just want to do what they want to do. We have tried and still try to keep positive and to deal with the DAILY struggle that we all have as a family. School is different for my son and home life is - he makes the same mistakes every day we have the same arguments about respect, communication and routine every day. Speak to your family doctor and ask them to refer you to the CAMHS and a care plan to help you to cope! We have done this and are currently waiting on results!! Unfortunately it's slow and we have to keep calling and asking when the help will start but it's worth it as every day we seem to get closer to something positive happening and help towards coping and more importantly help for my son :-)

Johanna - posted on 03/14/2014

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Hi, I understand exactly how you feel. I have the same problem with my 12 year old son! However my 5 year old son is much easier and seems older for his years but I do feel there's a little extra upset between them because of the age gap!

Caci - posted on 03/13/2014

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I too am a parent of a 10 year old diagnosed with ADHD. Some people think ADHD is real while others think it's not. I have lived long enough to see kids tear things up wherever they go, do what they want while the parents say and do nothing at all. Some of these kids turn out just fine. On the other hand there are children who have good manners, respect and have been disciplined and they end up in prisons. The world we live in today is not the same as we as parents grew up in. It’s an ever changing world. How many parents have a schedule every day? Children need routines that way they know what to expect and when expect it. Do you spend "quality" time with your difficult children? I know it’s hard on parents harder on single parents etc. but these children are our future. They deserve our undivided attention they should have to beg for it. When they are good they are being talked to. When they are bad they are getting attention even if it is negative. Did you have a good family role model growing up? If you did, model that behavior and if you didn't research how to be a better parent. Stop being afraid of your kids. Hug them, love them dedicate an hour each day to them. They did not ask to be born. We made that choice now we need to do the right thing and give it our best shot. If you are positive, positive things will follow. If you are negative, negative things will follow. Kids today and people in general have too much “stuff” and not enough live interaction with real people in the flesh. Eat a meal together. Actually sit at the table. Everyone can participate someone can cook, someone can set the table, someone else can bring the drinks and someone else get the food to the table. Then sit and interact with each other in doing so you will be promoting teamwork. Teach your children to be team players early in life by doing this at home. No phones, TV’s , electronics devices etc. (These toys are a distraction for children and adults) Work together. Learn coping skills. Breathe in and out. Count to 10. Think about life without this BAD child and bring love back into the equation. Think how nice we are to people outside our home. Then come back home and start being that “nice” person. Our children learn how we handle things by watching us. Just think back to how most of us have said I’m not going to do what my mom or dad did when I raise my child. Then you find yourself doing and saying something your parent would have said or done. You know how you felt growing up enough to say you would never do this or that! So stop doing it. Break the chain and invest in your child’s future. A job pays the bills and you have to pay bills but you should also make investing time in your child’s life a priority. So make a list of good and bad behavior your child exhibits. Then have your child do the same about you. And use this as a stepping stone to re-building your relationship. Build it a step at a time. Remember when you yell, throw things, break things etc. your child sees this behavior and children are like sponges they absorb it all. So if they hear you cursing out drivers (anger), or complaining, or throw stuff when you’re angry they will think that it’s ok for them to do the same thing. Let’s stop teaching our children to be full of anger and hate because we showed them the wrong example because we were too tired,stressed, busy etc. to spend any time with them. Let’s show them when I get stressed or hurt or angry I do something positive like yoga, exercise, count to 10 or just simply close my eyes for 15 seconds. Don’t let the Devil steal your joy and your child. I wish you all the best of luck. Today may not have been a great day but if you wake up with the right attitude at least you had a great start.

Caci - posted on 03/13/2014

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I too am a parent of a 10 year old diagnosed with ADHD. Some people think ADHD is real while others think it's not. I have lived long enough to see kids tear things up wherever they go, do what they want while the parents say and do nothing at all. Some of these kids turn out just fine. On the other hand there are children who have good manners, respect and have been disciplined and they end up in prisons. The world we live in today is not the same as we as parents grew up in. It’s an ever changing world. How many parents have a schedule every day? Children need routines that way they know what to expect and when expect it. Do you spend "quality" time with your difficult children? I know it’s hard on parents harder on single parents etc. but these children are our future. They deserve our undivided attention they should have to beg for it. When they are good they are being talked to. When they are bad they are getting attention even if it is negative. Did you have a good family role model growing up? If you did, model that behavior and if you didn't research how to be a better parent. Stop being afraid of your kids. Hug them, love them dedicate an hour each day to them. They did not ask to be born. We made that choice now we need to do the right thing and give it our best shot. If you are positive, positive things will follow. If you are negative, negative things will follow. Kids today and people in general have too much “stuff” and not enough live interaction with real people in the flesh. Eat a meal together. Actually sit at the table. Everyone can participate someone can cook, someone can set the table, someone else can bring the drinks and someone else get the food to the table. Then sit and interact with each other in doing so you will be promoting teamwork. Teach your children to be team players early in life by doing this at home. No phones, TV’s , electronics devices etc. (These toys are a distraction for children and adults) Work together. Learn coping skills. Breathe in and out. Count to 10. Think about life without this BAD child and bring love back into the equation. Think how nice we are to people outside our home. Then come back home and start being that “nice” person. Our children learn how we handle things by watching us. Just think back to how most of us have said I’m not going to do what my mom or dad did when I raise my child. Then you find yourself doing and saying something your parent would have said or done. You know how you felt growing up enough to say you would never do this or that! So stop doing it. Break the chain and invest in your child’s future. A job pays the bills and you have to pay bills but you should also make investing time in your child’s life a priority. So make a list of good and bad behavior your child exhibits. Then have your child do the same about you. And use this as a stepping stone to re-building your relationship. Build it a step at a time. Remember when you yell, throw things, break things etc. your child sees this behavior and children are like sponges they absorb it all. So if they hear you cursing out drivers (anger), or complaining, or throw stuff when you’re angry they will think that it’s ok for them to do the same thing. Let’s stop teaching our children to be full of anger and hate because we showed them the wrong example because we were too tired,stressed, busy etc. to spend any time with them. Let’s show them when I get stressed or hurt or angry I do something positive like yoga, exercise, count to 10 or just simply close my eyes for 15 seconds. Don’t let the Devil steal your joy and your child. I wish you all the best of luck. Today may not have been a great day but if you wake up with the right attitude at least you had a great start.

Brian - posted on 02/10/2014

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I am a father with custody of my 10 yr. oldson my girlfriend plays stepmom and loves him very much. he gets visitation w his bio mom and is very smart, he reads at a college level, is in the top 3% in the nation for reading and comprehension, that being said he cannot complete or even effectively start his science project. he has no accountability, drive .or ambition to grow in his skin, I tell him I ll help him if he just gets it started and makes a valliant effort but I cant do his work for him. his stepmom was raised differently than myself(more strict from a broken home, I come from a solid family structure) never the less either method does not work. or ,seem to produce results, so she comes down on him w a belt, im the big bad dad and hes my son so I feel like im being soft when she disciplines w physical punishment, which cause me to stress out and want to end the conflict w a yelling and spanking of my own, I am at a loss, please help us

Marythea13 - posted on 01/03/2014

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Have a single one of you asked your sons or daughters to help you make your bed? Have you said that you feel good when they help you? Besides watching you make or order food, does a single child on this thread get to watch mom and dad doing something other than watching tv or talking on the phone or asking queations on the Internet? I am about to become an instant parent of two boys, 9 and 10, and came to this site looking for ideas for meals and playtimes. And all I see are complaints about children who are out of control......whew......God save me from being a lazy, disrespectful, f-bomb throwing parent who raises two boys just like that!

Not - posted on 12/28/2013

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Just calm down, the boy is young and he realized that he can do less shit because you have a new born. And if it is his fucking room, you shouldn't give a shit about it if he doesn't and if you do, do it yourself. Calm the fuck down, you're just going to make him fucking want to kill you. Just don't let him talk back, and let him slowly make decisions by himself. Sites like this make me realize that its not just my mom who does this shit. You paranoid ass wipes are what make them do this shit. Why don't you talk to them instead of go on the fucking computer twats.

Debra - posted on 12/02/2013

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I have the same problem with 10 yr old girl for the last 2 school yes she is flunking out of school making D's and Fs she is very disrespectful and lazy I have to tell her to clean her room make her bed do she won't do anything constructive to help her grades at all my hubby and I are tired of talking to her she don't care about anything or any body

Austine - posted on 12/01/2013

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Did anyone have any suggetions for you? I'm in the same boat with my 12 year old. We try setting expectations at the beginning of the day but then he lives his life the rest of the time in front of the TV or video games. He doesn't hang out with friends unless forced, we can't keep him in any activities because he refuses to go and if we ground him he'll go and then not participate. Some people say I expect to much from him, but if I don't he would do nothing. I'm tired of being yelled at and things thrown at me. I do spend time with him, reading, walking and talking. He is physcial with his brother and rude to his step-dad.

Lynelle - posted on 11/25/2013

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My 10 year old is DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!! Same same same! All I can say is - glad it's not just me.... but still. WHY!?!?!

User - posted on 11/23/2013

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wow i have a 10 year old son and a 11 month old girl lol my son is going through this too everything you said he is doing as see that sometimes my son plays too much games and watches tv he get mad and is lazy to some of the shows is bad and did you know at 10 they can start the change?? thats what my sons doctor said

Jasmen - posted on 11/21/2013

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If you can't control anymore I'll be more glad to help I'm 13 years old and know heaps about behavior and I'll be glad for you to give me your number think of it as Supernanny :) this isn't spam I'm really looking forward to helping moms Just email me what country your in and how he acts x

Jasmen - posted on 11/21/2013

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I'm. A 13 year old girl who might know how to disipline you can reply so I can call you or email you I'll be glad to help iv watched and experience this kinda behavior heaps of times just cause I'm 13 don't mean I can't help least give me a chance x

Ashley - posted on 11/07/2013

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i have a 9 yr old same way. he is very smart and does his school work but gets in trouble for not listening or sitting still at school on the bus and at home here recently. he has an 8 yr old bro who is severly adhd and im starting to wonder about him now. hes not hyperactive just doesnt have and attention. and god hes sooooo lazy and slow!!!!!!!!! we try grounding. taking stuff away(tv games sports etc), tried more freedom, more responsibilities... nothing is working. ugh help!!!!!!!!!

Stan - posted on 09/18/2013

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Has any of the kids been diagnosed with Oppositional defiant disorder and/or ADHD? Mine was when he was young. At age 9 I took him off his ADHD meds because he was able to focus better at school. I want to rebuild and save our brittle relationship. We love each other so much although its a struggle to show it each day when he fights doing homework, bad attitude back talk. I yell and get upset. Hate the craziness. He won't talk to my husband, stepdad. He loves his 2 yr old sister. He's a mess. Help!! He behaves pretty well at school. No big issues any more. He comes home and wants to watch TV hrs on end.

Laura - posted on 09/05/2013

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my oldest daughter is just like this lazy argumentative rude arrogant emotional wreck, she will not tidy up afterself her room looks like a bomb has hit it ,she steals food on regular basis so now stopped buying crisps, biscuits etc always have plenty of fruit but she never goes for this, she refuses to be punished even though we try our hardest to punish her everyone else seems to try and bribe her when I ask them not to and now have my 2 yr old doing some of the behaviour now which im stopping immediately refuses to do her homework or even have bathes. She gets plenty of attention I have run out of ideas on what to do

Babybluecaligreen - posted on 07/21/2013

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I have no idea what I am to do about my son he is 10 and the back talking and attitude is horrible. no matter what we do to change things he is a constant stinker. he loves to argue with anyone and loves to make his brother mad who is almost 12. what do I do help?

A - posted on 05/07/2013

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I actually have three children. Two girls and a Boy. My middle Daughter and I have just in this past year learned how to communicate better. She was diagnosed with ADHD and a Mood Disorder when she was younger. She never to her meds. She would always hid them. Anyway, She is Eighteen now and has gotten better. She still has some mood swings and is not the "go getter type" but has improved.. I am having issues though with my son. He is Ten. I have done the whole take things away. I even have taken the TV away literally. I put it in thebox and put it in the trunk of my car. We have been through a child/parent course which helped somewhat. He has to earn everything . That worked for a while. He is too big to pick up and put in time out. He should not have to be! He throws tantrums like a younger child. I take time with him to try and help him get work done. He refuses and it does get very frustrating after awhile. I even read to him at night. Not every night. and still the same behavior. anyway I hope it will get better....

April - posted on 04/11/2013

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I from experience with my 10 year old son and 2 other sons, think that all your son wants is some attention. Sometimes its hard to see because we are so busy being a mother. We must try to stop and step into his shoes and the past. My son said to me one day, mommy remember when it was just you and I. I felt something in that very moment. We must take time out to just be with them one on one. Trust me it helps. As for the attitude, that just comes with age and him being a spoiled brat....lol. He loves you and wants to grow up but just too fast. Let him know he must be a leader because others are looking up to him to follow him.

Carola - posted on 02/06/2013

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Yes, I can totally relate. I have 2 boys, 8 and 10 and the 8 yr old is actually a bit more responsible than the 10 yr old. the 0 yr old gives me this line about "losing his self respect" if he does what I ( or his dad) tells him to do. Can't wait for the teenage years! I think I'll do the trashbag thing with his room - lookout!

Kendra - posted on 02/05/2013

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I've been going through all of this myself. I have a son who just turned ten and a eight month old son as well. Our 10yo has been getting very lazy and pre-teeny lately and it is driving us crazy! He's doing pretty well in school, but not as well as he can and is calling himself dumb and stupid as well now if we ask him about a bad grade. I'm sorry you all are going through this as well, but it's nice to see what you all are doing and that we're not the only ones with this pre-teen angst stuff! Ugh!

Betty - posted on 02/05/2013

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My son who is about to be 10 in 2 weeks is really lazy. He calls himself stupid and dumb if we take away anything because he refuses to do his school work or clean his room. He just sits there and complains all day and at school he just sits there. He really does nothing all day long. And if you get onto him for what his isnt doing then he starts downing himself thinking it will change the punishment.

Maagwe - posted on 02/02/2013

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its hard, the boys at this age are quite a mission since they are at the same time realising they are not babies and the same time they are not adults. They are stuck in the middle. my son doesnt want to behave like he is has grown up but keeps telling me that i like blaming him. He competes with me for almost everything, WHY CANT YOU DO IT yourself attitude.

When you send him he takes all his time despite the urgency, he ignores his baby brother when he wants to play, he throws his clothes from the entrance of the room to the closet and it doesnt matter how many times i keep repeating not to do things the way he is doing them.

its a challenge as he he tells me taking away his things only makes it worse.

Potato - posted on 01/27/2013

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Buy ice pops and hide them from him , tell him to clean his room and say that he will get a special treat if he does. When he does give him an ice pop

Amanda - posted on 01/19/2013

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My daughter is the same way. In fact, she thinks it's cute to be lazy and disrespectful. We also recently had a baby, well, 3 years ago. But she was an only child for 8 or 9 years. That's a long time. I'm hoping it's a phase she's going through. But, when she gets way out of line, I take the things she loves away. Her computer, her phone, then her friends. ( won't let her spend time with them) That usually straightens her up.
What punishment does he get? He needs to know that there are consequences.... Good luck. Let's hope that this will pass and that they will wake up one day and realize how lucky they are to have us. (Yeah right.) LOL

Trysta - posted on 01/16/2013

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My 12 year old son used to be so full of life happy and playful now he hardly smiles he's always got something to argue with me about and the relationship between him and his stepfather of 8 years is going downhill. He used to talk to me about everything, now, nothing he always says he's "fine" I don't know how to get him to open up like before plus I went thru his text messages and this girl he talks to really seems like she's messing with his head she always texts him sad faces says she's crying her eyes out and apparently won't give him the time of day in person I think she's a dark and confused girl and I don't know if she's the reason for this change in behavior how do I talk to him without letting him know I went through his messages I don't want the communication gap to get bigger because I invaded his privacy he's also the oldest of 4 and his relationship with them is changing for the worse as well help I need some serious advice

Joann - posted on 11/30/2012

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My daughter is the same , its definitely early puberty , I have constant struggles with the same thing as my daughter is moody, bad attitude and most of the time plain Rude ! she thinks the whole world is against her ...

User - posted on 11/26/2012

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Same here, my daughter is 13 and disrespects me beyond what normal teenagers do. She is not like this with anyone else but myself and her grandma which just kills me. The cycle of her not caring what her conciquenses are and not listening to me yelling is just exhausting and a really bad influence on her 4 your old brother. I don't know what to do anymore either. I pick and choose my battles with her. But I'm so tired of it all, I dread going home from work! I do alo for her and all her extra curriclular activities and spend money I just don't have as a single mom. It's the guilt I guess. She just seems so unhappy. No I don't buy her anything to be honest bu spend money on her dance/softball. I jus pray she grows out of it??? Ugh I don't know anymore.

Cynthia Vitaro - posted on 11/09/2012

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i am having the same issure with my 12 yr old son , he is an only child ..love xbox ..quit football i'm terrifide , his grades and values, and goals have dropped ... along w/ his grades in school.

User - posted on 09/03/2012

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My daughter needs help. She is 10 And I love her god knows. But I don't like her as a person. She is lazy, mouthy,negative, argues with everyone, no amount of money or bribes or punishment will get her to DO chores homework or just get off the couch. I refuse to sign her up for anything because its too much work TO convince her And argue for her to be responsible for THE items she needs to keep track of. She is overly emotional all the time. She causes so much tension in my house I would almost not come home. She spent a week with my mom and it was heaven. How sad is that.

User - posted on 08/05/2012

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I can relate! My daughter is 12 and she has mood swings..ohh whoa! She'll flip out then after stomping off and slamming her door..she'll come bk "I'm sorry mommmm"..it's just my moods..there are times when we are out and she'll get down and not want my fiance w/ us..esp his Mom.she doesnt like having a grandmom.esp this late in the game..He's never had children nor did his sister so his mom has always wanted one but my duaghter doesnt want her around..and shes' rude to her at times..I've told her she needs to be polite..you dont have to see her much but you do need to be polite..

Annabelle - posted on 08/02/2012

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My daughter is 11 and up until about a year ago I was in the same boat!! Tried every punishment I could think of!!! Finally, I took her to therapy (alone and her and I together) and discovered she has a small amount of oppositional defiance aka. she's a brat. So I started beating her at her own game..."fine don't listen to me than I don't have to listen to you" she heard that a lot. And my motto was BY LAW all I owe you is 3 hots and a cot, medical treatment, and public education. PERIOD. That's all she got to. I took Dr. Phil's advice and removed everything from her room except the mattress. I handed her clothing each day - my choice. She hated it but she figured out real fast who the boss was. And now she is a totally different kid. MOST IMPORTANT: Once you make a threat follow through with it!!

Jessica - posted on 07/29/2012

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I have a 10 yr old boy and just turned 10 in April. I took him to his check up and his doc told me he was going thru puberty early. YaY:/ A mth before he turned 10 he was not wanting to listen to anything we said, talking back, and LAZY as can get. When we finally got him to do a chore, without any allowance, he didn't even do it ok. Like doing my dishes every other day, he always leaves food on them and its not even food that sticks to the dishes:/ He just doesn't care. We thought it might be that he isn't getting much attention cause we also have a 1 1/2 yr old girl with delays but he loves her, plays with her and don't think that's the issue. We have tried everything. I tried paying him to clean, grounding him from goin places/games/doing certain things. Nothing has worked! I've even took things away. Like right now he hasn't got any new toys for a mth, went to a friends house for a mth, nothing sweet, even just saying he can only have milk or water to drink. He is still not wanting to do his chores and still has a smart mouth:( Any suggestions?

Nancy - posted on 07/29/2012

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i think your lucky. my 10 year old hates her 6 year old sister. it is like a battle ground. i try to keep the two seperate. sometimes they play then it turns into a battle ground. the 10 year old cleans her room from time to time because she watch hoarders with me and dont want to become one. this continuing fighting is causes alot of stress through the whole family. so be lucky and help your son clean and organize his room. maybe he just hates cleaning like most boys his age.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/10/2012

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First off, yeah he might be a little jealous of her. Loving her and being jealous are two different animals and he might not even realize he feels this way. He has to clean up after himself and have chores...the baby doesn't. I have the same problem with my girls. They won't clean either unless i stand over them. One tactic of mine does work...I work with them. I figured until my girls get over this horrible stage of laziness, Its is what I need to do. In the meantime I am teaching them some valuable lessons in order to help them learn to clean up efficiently and quickly so they can play. Doing this with your son might re affirm to him your confidence in him and your love. You say he likes to entertain her and play with her. How about you play " lets make a deal" with him? If he cleans up after himself and is respectful during the week, then one day a week, if he will watch his little sister and play with her, you will do his chores for him. Gives you a break from baby things for a bit and lets him know life is a trade off...You give a little, I give a little. Sometimes the carrot works better than a stick. You know your son, think outside the box.

Patricia - posted on 07/09/2012

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my son gets like that i think its A: BECAUSE HIS FATHER IS SO LAZY HE SAYS IF DAD DOES NOT HAVE TO DO IT THAN WHY SHOULD I B: HIS NANA SPOILS HIM MORE THAN THE OTHER KIDS BUT IF HE DOES NOT DO WHAT HE IS TOLD HE LOSES THINGS AND PRIVILAGES I DON'T PUT UP WITH IT AND I AM DAMM SURE HE IS NOT GOING TO TURN OUT LIKE HIS FATHER AND YES I HAD A BABY ALMOST 12 MONTHS AGO NOW AND MY KIDS PLAYED UP A FAIR BIT SAME THING JUST LET HIM HELP YOU WITH HER GIVE HIM LOVE AND AFFECTION TALK TO HIM JUST NORMAL STUFF HE STILL NEEDS HIS MUM AND WANTS TO KNOW HE IS TILL LOVED I THINK IT IS A BIT OF INSICURITY AS WELL AS BEING JEALOUS TO

Pamela - posted on 07/05/2012

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My son is 13 years old and I had him when I was 19 years old. He does great in school and is very respectful, he does get carried away when joking around (immature at times but hey he is only 13) and it is annoying but overall I can't complain! He does need telling a few times when asked to do things, it is definitely hormones though and the want to do things when 'he' decides but he is soon put in his place.

It is getting noticeably different when we try and conversate, his mind seems elsewhere but the thing I would say is most important is to keep them busy, especially over the school holidays!

Its a hard time for both us but I try and remember what I was like at that age, and it is a confusing time, for us and them lol x

Anne - posted on 06/30/2012

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OMG!! I am not alone! I have a 10yr old son and a daughter that is now married and almost 25yrs old, she was difficult but Not Like This!!!! He did not complete many projects at school this year, the Teacher had to run after him to write in his agenda, then my son would hide it in his cubby or desk and run for the bus!! I asked everyday about homework, said he had done it at school. My daughter did all work, I now realize I have to be on his Butt for everything!! So because of this I started Major Rules which he hates!! Bad Attitude, not doing or helping out, not bring home his homework, etc puts him into Level One for one week= No TV, Video games, including DS, and Computor, no sleepovers or hanging out with his buddies. He hates this, so was going pretty good for 8 weeks, he did have temper tantrums then other weeks he was awesome!! Thought I had it all figured out till I looked at him one day after his 9th week of swimming class and noticed his hair was not very wet and did not smell of chlorine! His class was 45min long. I would drop him off at the pool door and go less than a block to the gym for my work out and he would walk over, I would ask how was swimming?? He d say good or boring, I would ask what did you do? He would explain it all each sat morn to me. I though he missed one class, he missed each one!! Except the one I walked into!! I am and his dad are soo dissapointed with him that he pulled off lying to us for 8 weeks!! I still can't believe it!! My daughter never tried anything like that. He said he was nervous cause older boys were in his class, Argh!!!!! Anne

MARGARET - posted on 05/02/2012

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Hi I have three boys age 10 8 and 3 and the oldest is the worst he can get everyone started i agree with the other take the dsi or what ever game system he is my boys only have dsi and
game cube and I give then time they earn by making there bads making sure they have there
cothes ready for school and picking up after themselfs and I even do this with the 3 year old
if he yell about cleaning is play room he dose not get to go back in for the day so it so hard
with the cute faces but we have to do it so they will be good man some day that what we all
wont at the end of the day that we rise up very good loving man that help around the house and will work for there family thats what i pray for every night so good luck and your not
alone ... margaret

Cassidy - posted on 04/30/2012

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We also have a 10 year old with a less than pleasing attitude sometimes!! The thing that worked best for us was a discipline chart. He had his chores on there, and what was expected as far as his attitude towards us, his siblings and the home in general, and then check marks if he didn't follow them...the first one meant grounded for the evening, 2nd was a week, and the 3rd mean that he was stripped of everything fun of his, all toys, his laptop, psp, and also his privilege of the tv in the playroom and the Xbox he shares with his siblings. He did just recently push us to the 3rd check mark, and we did take away everything we said we would. After following that with a response of lying to us for the next 3 days, we also called and cancelled his bday party with his friends from school! He had to call each one of his friends at home and let them know that he wouldn't be having a party because he lied. The next day, we did sit down after the younger two went to bed, explained why it got to that point, and asked him if he understood...he apologized, talked to us about some things that were bothering him, we rearranged some chores, and also offered some rewards for helping out un-asked, and he has been a different child!!! Stick to your guns, follow through with whatever you "say" you will do, and then allow them to talk to you about why it got this bad, and how "we" can fix it. This is, by far, my least favorite part of parenting' but sticking to our punishments, and allowing open, honest communication has been the key for us. He flat out said he didn't think we would do the things we said because it hadn't ever gotten that far...surprise!!! It will get better, they are just testing to see how independant they can be before its too far/too much!!!!

Cassidy - posted on 04/30/2012

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We also have a 10 year old with a less than pleasing attitude sometimes!! The thing that worked best for us was a discipline chart. He had his chores on there, and what was expected as far as his attitude towards us, his siblings and the home in general, and then check marks if he didn't follow them...the first one meant grounded for the evening, 2nd was a week, and the 3rd mean that he was stripped of everything fun of his, all toys, his laptop, psp, and also his privilege of the tv in the playroom and the Xbox he shares with his siblings. He did just recently push us to the 3rd check mark, and we did take away everything we said we would. After following that with a response of lying to us for the next 3 days, we also called and cancelled his bday party with his friends from school! He had to call each one of his friends at home and let them know that he wouldn't be having a party because he lied. The next day, we did sit down after the younger two went to bed, explained why it got to that point, and asked him if he understood...he apologized, talked to us about some things that were bothering him, we rearranged some chores, and also offered some rewards for helping out un-asked, and he has been a different child!!! Stick to your guns, follow through with whatever you "say" you will do, and then allow them to talk to you about why it got this bad, and how "we" can fix it. This is, by far, my least favorite part of parenting' but sticking to our punishments, and allowing open, honest communication has been the key for us. He flat out said he didn't think we would do the things we said because it hadn't ever gotten that far...surprise!!! It will get better, they are just testing to see how independant they can be before its too far/too much!!!!

Lynnanne - posted on 04/30/2012

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I have a lazy, disrespectful, 11 yr old with the attitude of a 17 yr old going through puberty!! His moods are so hard to handle. He's very bright, argues like an adult, backtalks and just doesn't care about the consequences we impose on him. We've taken so many of his things away, restricted him from things he enjoys but nothing seems to work. I'm told daily how much he hates me. I know they say this is a "stage" but I'm not so sure anymore, I get very sad thinking this is his personality from here on out and our relationship is just doomed! I recall being a bit of a mouthy teenager but that wasn't until I was 18 or 19 wanting my freedom and independence. He feels entitled to this freedom already! Not sure what to do at this point!

Bonnie - posted on 12/15/2011

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YES! I feel your pain. My 11 year old boy sure can push my buttons! I have a new baby too and he loves his brother way too much:) but he's been like this since before the baby so I know that's not it. Sometimes if I remember what my mom said it's a little easier to get him to do stuff. Just let him know, I'm going to tell you to do something and I don't want any complaining or back talk or you're grounded, spanked ect whatever. All I want to hear is "Yes Ma'am" and then you are to start cleaning, taking the trash out, ect immediatley without playing around. It sets the tone that I mean business and lets him process in his brain that anything that negative happens after that he brought on himself.

Jeru - posted on 12/05/2011

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I LOVE ALL OF YOU HONEST MOMMIES!!! Oh thank you for being here! I was at the end of my rope thinking my son was a special case. Seriously,,you'd never know how "normal" things are w/o these awesome forums!! Thanks to all of you for the raw honesty and advice. These aren't just places to go to complain and blow off steam, they are where a lot of us find sanity and support :)

Tammy - posted on 11/18/2011

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im going threw the same thing wit my 12 year old son wit not cleaning and the backtalking how do i stop the backtalk help me pleaase? i started taking away his things after i read these post i mean everything he left out i hid away and when he got home he looked and said wit attitude mom where is my ps3 games toys everything is gone i told him u clean the house he said omg mom and said im going outside i said no your not you have a house to clean and dishes to do and room to clean that i left dirty all day for him to clean haha cause he didnt want to clean and i get tired of doing it all all day everyday i just had a a baby on oct 2nd so i told him when he said u didnt cllean all day what did u do? i said no i took care of baby brother said omg mom and tryed to walk out the door going u have a house to clean if u dont want me to sell your ps3 and all the games and yoys r give them away to a family he said u cant do that dad would not let me i said dad dont care i got him to clean everything he was told to clean he did it all lol then i let him go out side how long should i make him do this before i give the tv and games back please help???? its killing me not to clean nad sit and make the kids do it everyday lmao yaeh right im kinda enjoying it they do give attitude nad talk back but i just say i guess u will never se the tv or games or toys again and no christmas haha how lond should this go on nad what should i say to them after i give them one thing back at a time and what about the attitude really needs to stop thats what made me do this im feed up wit the attitude so everybody is wit out a tv nad games in living room owell? ANY IDEAS ASAP PLEASE HOW LONG SHOULD I LET IT GO BEFORE I GIVE THE TV BACK NAD THE GAME SYSTEM N GAMES

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