MY 10 YEAR OLD SON HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND IS VERY LAZY...CAN ANYONE RELATE???

Lynette - posted on 05/12/2013

Just had a weekend from hell with my ten year old son. I wonder if it is puberty or not? So far no physical signs of puberty, but can they go through the psychological changes before the physical? OMG, he's got a smart alec response for almost everything asked of him. He's lost screen time for three days and then football training which he loves, but still he doesn't change his attitude. It's driving me crazy and I keep yelling at him which I hate myself for. He's also saying he's stupid and can't do anything etc. If this isn't adolescence, I'm really worried about what I'm in for.

A - posted on 05/07/2013

I actually have three children. Two girls and a Boy. My middle Daughter and I have just in this past year learned how to communicate better. She was diagnosed with ADHD and a Mood Disorder when she was younger. She never to her meds. She would always hid them. Anyway, She is Eighteen now and has gotten better. She still has some mood swings and is not the "go getter type" but has improved.. I am having issues though with my son. He is Ten. I have done the whole take things away. I even have taken the TV away literally. I put it in thebox and put it in the trunk of my car. We have been through a child/parent course which helped somewhat. He has to earn everything . That worked for a while. He is too big to pick up and put in time out. He should not have to be! He throws tantrums like a younger child. I take time with him to try and help him get work done. He refuses and it does get very frustrating after awhile. I even read to him at night. Not every night. and still the same behavior. anyway I hope it will get better....

A - posted on 05/07/2013

April - posted on 04/11/2013

I from experience with my 10 year old son and 2 other sons, think that all your son wants is some attention. Sometimes its hard to see because we are so busy being a mother. We must try to stop and step into his shoes and the past. My son said to me one day, mommy remember when it was just you and I. I felt something in that very moment. We must take time out to just be with them one on one. Trust me it helps. As for the attitude, that just comes with age and him being a spoiled brat....lol. He loves you and wants to grow up but just too fast. Let him know he must be a leader because others are looking up to him to follow him.

Christina - posted on 04/07/2013

I have a 10yr old with a very bad attitude. He is very disrespectful to me and his step-dad, but nobody else. He is fine as long as he is getting what he wants or doing something that he wants to do. The worst thing that he does is yell/screams at me. I have tried to explain to him that I am his mother and that is not acceptable. I have tried grounding, taking things away, time-out, ect. I really dont know what else to do. I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips to share on things I can try. At this point I will try anything that might help.

Carola - posted on 02/06/2013

Yes, I can totally relate. I have 2 boys, 8 and 10 and the 8 yr old is actually a bit more responsible than the 10 yr old. the 0 yr old gives me this line about "losing his self respect" if he does what I ( or his dad) tells him to do. Can't wait for the teenage years! I think I'll do the trashbag thing with his room - lookout!

Kendra - posted on 02/05/2013

I've been going through all of this myself. I have a son who just turned ten and a eight month old son as well. Our 10yo has been getting very lazy and pre-teeny lately and it is driving us crazy! He's doing pretty well in school, but not as well as he can and is calling himself dumb and stupid as well now if we ask him about a bad grade. I'm sorry you all are going through this as well, but it's nice to see what you all are doing and that we're not the only ones with this pre-teen angst stuff! Ugh!

Betty - posted on 02/05/2013

My son who is about to be 10 in 2 weeks is really lazy. He calls himself stupid and dumb if we take away anything because he refuses to do his school work or clean his room. He just sits there and complains all day and at school he just sits there. He really does nothing all day long. And if you get onto him for what his isnt doing then he starts downing himself thinking it will change the punishment.

Maagwe - posted on 02/02/2013

its hard, the boys at this age are quite a mission since they are at the same time realising they are not babies and the same time they are not adults. They are stuck in the middle. my son doesnt want to behave like he is has grown up but keeps telling me that i like blaming him. He competes with me for almost everything, WHY CANT YOU DO IT yourself attitude.

When you send him he takes all his time despite the urgency, he ignores his baby brother when he wants to play, he throws his clothes from the entrance of the room to the closet and it doesnt matter how many times i keep repeating not to do things the way he is doing them.

its a challenge as he he tells me taking away his things only makes it worse.

Pamela - posted on 01/29/2013

Hello Magarita,

I too have an 10 year old son that is very unorganized even at school. I typed a to do list for him to follow after school and on weekends. I encourage him to complete it and only then does he get to do fun things that he wants to do. I asked him to write a list of activities that he would like to do. If he completes the list then he gets to pick an activity for the weekend, like going to the show or watching tv. So far it's working, but if he gets into trouble before the week is out he loses his activity. As far as the bad atttitude he writes a reflection on why he's mad and how to overcome the anger.

Potato - posted on 01/27/2013

Buy ice pops and hide them from him , tell him to clean his room and say that he will get a special treat if he does. When he does give him an ice pop

Amanda - posted on 01/19/2013

My daughter is the same way. In fact, she thinks it's cute to be lazy and disrespectful. We also recently had a baby, well, 3 years ago. But she was an only child for 8 or 9 years. That's a long time. I'm hoping it's a phase she's going through. But, when she gets way out of line, I take the things she loves away. Her computer, her phone, then her friends. ( won't let her spend time with them) That usually straightens her up.
What punishment does he get? He needs to know that there are consequences.... Good luck. Let's hope that this will pass and that they will wake up one day and realize how lucky they are to have us. (Yeah right.) LOL

Trysta - posted on 01/16/2013

My 12 year old son used to be so full of life happy and playful now he hardly smiles he's always got something to argue with me about and the relationship between him and his stepfather of 8 years is going downhill. He used to talk to me about everything, now, nothing he always says he's "fine" I don't know how to get him to open up like before plus I went thru his text messages and this girl he talks to really seems like she's messing with his head she always texts him sad faces says she's crying her eyes out and apparently won't give him the time of day in person I think she's a dark and confused girl and I don't know if she's the reason for this change in behavior how do I talk to him without letting him know I went through his messages I don't want the communication gap to get bigger because I invaded his privacy he's also the oldest of 4 and his relationship with them is changing for the worse as well help I need some serious advice

Joann - posted on 11/30/2012

My daughter is the same , its definitely early puberty , I have constant struggles with the same thing as my daughter is moody, bad attitude and most of the time plain Rude ! she thinks the whole world is against her ...

Jennifer - posted on 11/26/2012

Same here, my daughter is 13 and disrespects me beyond what normal teenagers do. She is not like this with anyone else but myself and her grandma which just kills me. The cycle of her not caring what her conciquenses are and not listening to me yelling is just exhausting and a really bad influence on her 4 your old brother. I don't know what to do anymore either. I pick and choose my battles with her. But I'm so tired of it all, I dread going home from work! I do alo for her and all her extra curriclular activities and spend money I just don't have as a single mom. It's the guilt I guess. She just seems so unhappy. No I don't buy her anything to be honest bu spend money on her dance/softball. I jus pray she grows out of it??? Ugh I don't know anymore.

Kim - posted on 11/13/2012

my kid does same thing i dont know either

Kim - posted on 11/13/2012

my kid does same thing i dont know either

Cynthia Vitaro - posted on 11/09/2012

i am having the same issure with my 12 yr old son , he is an only child ..love xbox ..quit football i'm terrifide , his grades and values, and goals have dropped ... along w/ his grades in school.

Kat - posted on 09/03/2012

My daughter needs help. She is 10 And I love her god knows. But I don't like her as a person. She is lazy, mouthy,negative, argues with everyone, no amount of money or bribes or punishment will get her to DO chores homework or just get off the couch. I refuse to sign her up for anything because its too much work TO convince her And argue for her to be responsible for THE items she needs to keep track of. She is overly emotional all the time. She causes so much tension in my house I would almost not come home. She spent a week with my mom and it was heaven. How sad is that.

Christine - posted on 08/05/2012

I can relate! My daughter is 12 and she has mood swings..ohh whoa! She'll flip out then after stomping off and slamming her door..she'll come bk "I'm sorry mommmm"..it's just my moods..there are times when we are out and she'll get down and not want my fiance w/ us..esp his Mom.she doesnt like having a grandmom.esp this late in the game..He's never had children nor did his sister so his mom has always wanted one but my duaghter doesnt want her around..and shes' rude to her at times..I've told her she needs to be polite..you dont have to see her much but you do need to be polite..

Annabelle - posted on 08/02/2012

My daughter is 11 and up until about a year ago I was in the same boat!! Tried every punishment I could think of!!! Finally, I took her to therapy (alone and her and I together) and discovered she has a small amount of oppositional defiance aka. she's a brat. So I started beating her at her own game..."fine don't listen to me than I don't have to listen to you" she heard that a lot. And my motto was BY LAW all I owe you is 3 hots and a cot, medical treatment, and public education. PERIOD. That's all she got to. I took Dr. Phil's advice and removed everything from her room except the mattress. I handed her clothing each day - my choice. She hated it but she figured out real fast who the boss was. And now she is a totally different kid. MOST IMPORTANT: Once you make a threat follow through with it!!

Jessica - posted on 07/29/2012

I have a 10 yr old boy and just turned 10 in April. I took him to his check up and his doc told me he was going thru puberty early. YaY:/ A mth before he turned 10 he was not wanting to listen to anything we said, talking back, and LAZY as can get. When we finally got him to do a chore, without any allowance, he didn't even do it ok. Like doing my dishes every other day, he always leaves food on them and its not even food that sticks to the dishes:/ He just doesn't care. We thought it might be that he isn't getting much attention cause we also have a 1 1/2 yr old girl with delays but he loves her, plays with her and don't think that's the issue. We have tried everything. I tried paying him to clean, grounding him from goin places/games/doing certain things. Nothing has worked! I've even took things away. Like right now he hasn't got any new toys for a mth, went to a friends house for a mth, nothing sweet, even just saying he can only have milk or water to drink. He is still not wanting to do his chores and still has a smart mouth:( Any suggestions?

Nancy - posted on 07/29/2012

i think your lucky. my 10 year old hates her 6 year old sister. it is like a battle ground. i try to keep the two seperate. sometimes they play then it turns into a battle ground. the 10 year old cleans her room from time to time because she watch hoarders with me and dont want to become one. this continuing fighting is causes alot of stress through the whole family. so be lucky and help your son clean and organize his room. maybe he just hates cleaning like most boys his age.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/10/2012

First off, yeah he might be a little jealous of her. Loving her and being jealous are two different animals and he might not even realize he feels this way. He has to clean up after himself and have chores...the baby doesn't. I have the same problem with my girls. They won't clean either unless i stand over them. One tactic of mine does work...I work with them. I figured until my girls get over this horrible stage of laziness, Its is what I need to do. In the meantime I am teaching them some valuable lessons in order to help them learn to clean up efficiently and quickly so they can play. Doing this with your son might re affirm to him your confidence in him and your love. You say he likes to entertain her and play with her. How about you play " lets make a deal" with him? If he cleans up after himself and is respectful during the week, then one day a week, if he will watch his little sister and play with her, you will do his chores for him. Gives you a break from baby things for a bit and lets him know life is a trade off...You give a little, I give a little. Sometimes the carrot works better than a stick. You know your son, think outside the box.

Patricia - posted on 07/09/2012

my son gets like that i think its A: BECAUSE HIS FATHER IS SO LAZY HE SAYS IF DAD DOES NOT HAVE TO DO IT THAN WHY SHOULD I B: HIS NANA SPOILS HIM MORE THAN THE OTHER KIDS BUT IF HE DOES NOT DO WHAT HE IS TOLD HE LOSES THINGS AND PRIVILAGES I DON'T PUT UP WITH IT AND I AM DAMM SURE HE IS NOT GOING TO TURN OUT LIKE HIS FATHER AND YES I HAD A BABY ALMOST 12 MONTHS AGO NOW AND MY KIDS PLAYED UP A FAIR BIT SAME THING JUST LET HIM HELP YOU WITH HER GIVE HIM LOVE AND AFFECTION TALK TO HIM JUST NORMAL STUFF HE STILL NEEDS HIS MUM AND WANTS TO KNOW HE IS TILL LOVED I THINK IT IS A BIT OF INSICURITY AS WELL AS BEING JEALOUS TO

Pamela - posted on 07/05/2012

My son is 13 years old and I had him when I was 19 years old. He does great in school and is very respectful, he does get carried away when joking around (immature at times but hey he is only 13) and it is annoying but overall I can't complain! He does need telling a few times when asked to do things, it is definitely hormones though and the want to do things when 'he' decides but he is soon put in his place.

It is getting noticeably different when we try and conversate, his mind seems elsewhere but the thing I would say is most important is to keep them busy, especially over the school holidays!

Its a hard time for both us but I try and remember what I was like at that age, and it is a confusing time, for us and them lol x

Anne - posted on 06/30/2012

OMG!! I am not alone! I have a 10yr old son and a daughter that is now married and almost 25yrs old, she was difficult but Not Like This!!!! He did not complete many projects at school this year, the Teacher had to run after him to write in his agenda, then my son would hide it in his cubby or desk and run for the bus!! I asked everyday about homework, said he had done it at school. My daughter did all work, I now realize I have to be on his Butt for everything!! So because of this I started Major Rules which he hates!! Bad Attitude, not doing or helping out, not bring home his homework, etc puts him into Level One for one week= No TV, Video games, including DS, and Computor, no sleepovers or hanging out with his buddies. He hates this, so was going pretty good for 8 weeks, he did have temper tantrums then other weeks he was awesome!! Thought I had it all figured out till I looked at him one day after his 9th week of swimming class and noticed his hair was not very wet and did not smell of chlorine! His class was 45min long. I would drop him off at the pool door and go less than a block to the gym for my work out and he would walk over, I would ask how was swimming?? He d say good or boring, I would ask what did you do? He would explain it all each sat morn to me. I though he missed one class, he missed each one!! Except the one I walked into!! I am and his dad are soo dissapointed with him that he pulled off lying to us for 8 weeks!! I still can't believe it!! My daughter never tried anything like that. He said he was nervous cause older boys were in his class, Argh!!!!! Anne

MARGARET - posted on 05/02/2012

Hi I have three boys age 10 8 and 3 and the oldest is the worst he can get everyone started i agree with the other take the dsi or what ever game system he is my boys only have dsi and
game cube and I give then time they earn by making there bads making sure they have there
cothes ready for school and picking up after themselfs and I even do this with the 3 year old
if he yell about cleaning is play room he dose not get to go back in for the day so it so hard
with the cute faces but we have to do it so they will be good man some day that what we all
wont at the end of the day that we rise up very good loving man that help around the house and will work for there family thats what i pray for every night so good luck and your not
alone ... margaret

Cassidy - posted on 04/30/2012

We also have a 10 year old with a less than pleasing attitude sometimes!! The thing that worked best for us was a discipline chart. He had his chores on there, and what was expected as far as his attitude towards us, his siblings and the home in general, and then check marks if he didn't follow them...the first one meant grounded for the evening, 2nd was a week, and the 3rd mean that he was stripped of everything fun of his, all toys, his laptop, psp, and also his privilege of the tv in the playroom and the Xbox he shares with his siblings. He did just recently push us to the 3rd check mark, and we did take away everything we said we would. After following that with a response of lying to us for the next 3 days, we also called and cancelled his bday party with his friends from school! He had to call each one of his friends at home and let them know that he wouldn't be having a party because he lied. The next day, we did sit down after the younger two went to bed, explained why it got to that point, and asked him if he understood...he apologized, talked to us about some things that were bothering him, we rearranged some chores, and also offered some rewards for helping out un-asked, and he has been a different child!!! Stick to your guns, follow through with whatever you "say" you will do, and then allow them to talk to you about why it got this bad, and how "we" can fix it. This is, by far, my least favorite part of parenting' but sticking to our punishments, and allowing open, honest communication has been the key for us. He flat out said he didn't think we would do the things we said because it hadn't ever gotten that far...surprise!!! It will get better, they are just testing to see how independant they can be before its too far/too much!!!!

Cassidy - posted on 04/30/2012

We also have a 10 year old with a less than pleasing attitude sometimes!! The thing that worked best for us was a discipline chart. He had his chores on there, and what was expected as far as his attitude towards us, his siblings and the home in general, and then check marks if he didn't follow them...the first one meant grounded for the evening, 2nd was a week, and the 3rd mean that he was stripped of everything fun of his, all toys, his laptop, psp, and also his privilege of the tv in the playroom and the Xbox he shares with his siblings. He did just recently push us to the 3rd check mark, and we did take away everything we said we would. After following that with a response of lying to us for the next 3 days, we also called and cancelled his bday party with his friends from school! He had to call each one of his friends at home and let them know that he wouldn't be having a party because he lied. The next day, we did sit down after the younger two went to bed, explained why it got to that point, and asked him if he understood...he apologized, talked to us about some things that were bothering him, we rearranged some chores, and also offered some rewards for helping out un-asked, and he has been a different child!!! Stick to your guns, follow through with whatever you "say" you will do, and then allow them to talk to you about why it got this bad, and how "we" can fix it. This is, by far, my least favorite part of parenting' but sticking to our punishments, and allowing open, honest communication has been the key for us. He flat out said he didn't think we would do the things we said because it hadn't ever gotten that far...surprise!!! It will get better, they are just testing to see how independant they can be before its too far/too much!!!!

Lynnanne - posted on 04/30/2012

I have a lazy, disrespectful, 11 yr old with the attitude of a 17 yr old going through puberty!! His moods are so hard to handle. He's very bright, argues like an adult, backtalks and just doesn't care about the consequences we impose on him. We've taken so many of his things away, restricted him from things he enjoys but nothing seems to work. I'm told daily how much he hates me. I know they say this is a "stage" but I'm not so sure anymore, I get very sad thinking this is his personality from here on out and our relationship is just doomed! I recall being a bit of a mouthy teenager but that wasn't until I was 18 or 19 wanting my freedom and independence. He feels entitled to this freedom already! Not sure what to do at this point!

Bonnie - posted on 12/15/2011

YES! I feel your pain. My 11 year old boy sure can push my buttons! I have a new baby too and he loves his brother way too much:) but he's been like this since before the baby so I know that's not it. Sometimes if I remember what my mom said it's a little easier to get him to do stuff. Just let him know, I'm going to tell you to do something and I don't want any complaining or back talk or you're grounded, spanked ect whatever. All I want to hear is "Yes Ma'am" and then you are to start cleaning, taking the trash out, ect immediatley without playing around. It sets the tone that I mean business and lets him process in his brain that anything that negative happens after that he brought on himself.

Jeru - posted on 12/05/2011

I LOVE ALL OF YOU HONEST MOMMIES!!! Oh thank you for being here! I was at the end of my rope thinking my son was a special case. Seriously,,you'd never know how "normal" things are w/o these awesome forums!! Thanks to all of you for the raw honesty and advice. These aren't just places to go to complain and blow off steam, they are where a lot of us find sanity and support :)

Tammy - posted on 11/18/2011

im going threw the same thing wit my 12 year old son wit not cleaning and the backtalking how do i stop the backtalk help me pleaase? i started taking away his things after i read these post i mean everything he left out i hid away and when he got home he looked and said wit attitude mom where is my ps3 games toys everything is gone i told him u clean the house he said omg mom and said im going outside i said no your not you have a house to clean and dishes to do and room to clean that i left dirty all day for him to clean haha cause he didnt want to clean and i get tired of doing it all all day everyday i just had a a baby on oct 2nd so i told him when he said u didnt cllean all day what did u do? i said no i took care of baby brother said omg mom and tryed to walk out the door going u have a house to clean if u dont want me to sell your ps3 and all the games and yoys r give them away to a family he said u cant do that dad would not let me i said dad dont care i got him to clean everything he was told to clean he did it all lol then i let him go out side how long should i make him do this before i give the tv and games back please help???? its killing me not to clean nad sit and make the kids do it everyday lmao yaeh right im kinda enjoying it they do give attitude nad talk back but i just say i guess u will never se the tv or games or toys again and no christmas haha how lond should this go on nad what should i say to them after i give them one thing back at a time and what about the attitude really needs to stop thats what made me do this im feed up wit the attitude so everybody is wit out a tv nad games in living room owell? ANY IDEAS ASAP PLEASE HOW LONG SHOULD I LET IT GO BEFORE I GIVE THE TV BACK NAD THE GAME SYSTEM N GAMES

Andrea - posted on 11/16/2011

my son is 12 and omg!!!! we call him k-slug cause thats how he is acting we tried punshing him but he doesnt even care i have taken his door off his room and he likes it!!! I am hoping he will grow out of it but I see no hope :(

Juanita - posted on 11/16/2011

OMG...My son is 12 and he is also lazy..I am starting to think its something in the water...smh. I am to the point now that I only ask once then I start yelling, I know its not good for me but that is the only thing that seems to get him moving. Its like he doesnt understand if I talk to him like a person, I have to fuss and cuss to get things done in my house..I gave him chores to do and it works for awhile then back to me fussing again, like a horrible cycle..

Deborah - posted on 11/09/2011

You are NOT alone. I have a ten year old daughter as well who back talks and is LAZY! Errr! I wish there was a magic button but nope....not the case.

Diane - posted on 11/05/2011

Thanks for this, because I think I'm at this point now. It feels cruel, but to have my 12 year old son come home to way less toys might actually strike him into gear and getting his homework done and picking up his things and not getting 0's at school. Got all the problems.

Rochelle - posted on 11/03/2011

my son is exactly the same> latley he has attitudewhen he is asked to do something is horrible. I have have to ask him to do something about 10 times. its driving me wild, im currently 6 moths preg too and i dont need this stress. I have tried to talk to him to see if there is anything bothering him but he says there isnt. i really need help on ways i can make this stop. xxx

User - posted on 10/15/2011

I have an idea of why kids are more hateful and dissatisfied- too much entertainment. We didn't have a tv or internet for years and our kids actually played. I got a better paying job and began giving my kids more electronics and toys. They were so happy at first and it was peaceful and easy cuz they were occupied and I was pleased although I knew it wasn't great that they were in their rooms alone more. After a while I realized the isolation in their own little world wasn't healthy. They didn't play anymore. They jus wanted to watch tv n play on video games or computer. They were more hateful when they did interact with family and chores became an interuption to their games or show as did family meals and going places. I finally had enough. We got rid of the tv. And limited internet to education. They can earn a movie or game if they finish chores n r respectful but it isn't a part of our daily life. We live n the real world not watching others on tv. We play n our yard w eachother not with an iimaginary friend on a screen. They apprecia

DOT - posted on 07/21/2011

i have a son with a attitude. really bad he is 14 it sucks

Sonya - posted on 11/15/2010

im going threw the same thing with my 11 year old and it's said. well when i tell him to clean his room and just take out the trash he get;s mad and then turn his head and then starts to stomp. well the room i just get sich of saying the same thing over and over and when they want something then he wants to say mom u need my totake the trash out...lol..i just don't lnow what to do.

Ramona - posted on 11/04/2010

I have found out that with both my kids, it helps to be specific. So, it is not "clean up your room" but, "Everything has to be up off the floor, dirty clothes in the hamper, clean stuff put away properly!" I have taken things out in trashbags if they refuse to clean up correctly. But, at least with a list, they know exactly what is to be expected.

Shannon - posted on 11/04/2010

Hi my name is Shannon and i guess we all have something in common here I am the mum of 5 boys and it can be challenging to say the least. my oldest just turned 12 the other day and he's full of attitude big time and I bet some or all of you get the rooling of the eyes to go with the piss off look right, I also do the take away thing i find it doesn't matter what you do it only works short term and then you have got to do it again. The messy room i can live with but the attitude as got to go and he's not even a teenager yet. I am new to this group and thought i'd say hello

Fiona - posted on 10/31/2010

YES!!! definitely! My10 yr old son is very very lazy and will not do anything untill i bellow at him to do it, even then he is reluctant and will make up excuses why he cant, or argue with me and backchat... often he is asked to do something and will not do it properly... i am constantly wondering why he doesnt do things right, and am convinced it is either deliberate, or carelessness... its everything from dressing himself properly to leaving empty milk cartons in the fridge, and not taking lunch to school, making a mess and not bothering to help clean unlesss MADE TO. i am ALWAYS having to remind him to do things, punishments that i give him dont seem to matter, have tried and tried and am totally at my witts end! he tells me he "doesnt care" and that "you cant hurt me!" when i proceed to try to punish him.... He is also constantly blaming things on his 4 yr old brother who has a 12-18 month delay... I have even caught him doing things and then he tells me to my face when i saw HIM do it that HIS BROTHER did itHis 9 yr old sister is very resonsible, does what i tell her and only sometimes does she have something to say..... He is the oldest of 3 children, and my main problem is getting him into control! He wants to play his computer games and WII and tells me off if he is punished by not being able to play with them. I dont know what to do!!!

Rachel - posted on 07/29/2010

I have an almost 11 year old who I have had these problems with for the last year. I think it is because he is the oldest, but I don't know. He seems to be getting better. I take away privilages for at least a day. It helps when they have something to work for. Clean your room or you can't get on the computer at all today. That kind of thing. I hope this helps.

Tonya - posted on 07/28/2010

Boy can I relate!! My 13yr old son doesn't do anything unless I threaten to take something away (tv, computer) and chores are almost non existent. I just found out that since we get food stamps and he's old enough to take care of himself for a few hours I have to start looking for a full time job. I'm currently a sub instructional assist. for our school district. I've told my son that since I have to do this in order for us to be able to eat, he's gonna have to start helping out more. He thinks it's a joke. He learned from his dad (deceased) that housework is the woman's work so that doesn't help. I've tried chore charts, allowance...doesn't work. I don't know what I'm gonna do yet, but gotta figure something out. He doesn't even do school work at home, so he stays after school to do it.

Angel - posted on 07/27/2010

Yes, I Can! I repeatedly ask my sons to clean their rooms and clean up in the kitchen after making a snack... I get back talk as well. I tried punishments, spankings. What I have found to work is taking away computer time, presents, allowance... but it only works for a while. I also thought that after having the new baby around, maybe I was not giving them as much attention. My 13 yr old and 11yr old started using that as an excuse to get their way. I caught on to that quick.

Stacy - posted on 07/22/2010

I know that this will sound a bit extreme- but it worked for me. When my daughter was 11 ( 2 years ago) I was at my wits end with her being lazy and never picking up after herself. I let her know that by the time I got home from work that day that whatever things of hers I found on the floor anywhere in the house- including her room- would be thrown away. Apparently she did not believe me because when I came home her bedroom was a disaster. I grabbed two large trash bags, filled them up, got into my car and went to the local transfer station. She keeps her room clean now!!!

Shawna - posted on 07/22/2010

I know how you feel,I also have a 10 yr old son whom is very lazy,doing chores to him is the end of the world! I also have tryed everything,and still nothing works with him. He has a bad attitude,anger issues and deals with alot of anxity issues as well,I dont know what else to do,Im at my wits end with this one!